Wanting to get a girl...

I have a male Solomon Island eclectus, Basil, who is 22 years old. I have had him since he was 5 weeks old and even have the egg he hatched out of. He has been a good bird, talks, whistles, and is generally quiet. Never much of a cuddler or shoulder bird, but likes to hang out and be with the family. He has for years always had a masturbation issue, but this is usually in his cage. Lately he has started to try to feed my feet, though and he grabs on to them like he wants to start mating with them but I calmly shoo him away with them so he doesn’t think it’s me doing it.

I have always wanted to get a female as well, but life got in the way after I got him. Now I am in the position where I can get a baby girl, but lots of people are warning me not to do it. They say it could ruin his relationship with me and make him not care about the family. Others say the girls are much more nasty, and will not take to him. Others tell me to add a baby, and make sure he sees her as a baby with me hand feeding her. So I am asking all of you who have had older birds and added another what has been your experience ? He is like my oldest son, and I don’t want to do anything to upset him.

Also, one other thing... do any of your male eclectus get mad at you for cleaning the cage, changing the lining, etc? Basil hates when I am in his cage doing these things.

God bless and stay safe.

Hello, and welcome to the Parrot Forums family!

The truth is, there's no way to know how a bird will react to the addition of a second into your household until it happens. Birds are intelligent, complicated beings. As such, some wind up having chemistry, and some don't. Much like people, two might have an instantaneous dislike for one another. Or they could come together like long lost friends. The important things to remember are A) Be prepared for either possibility. Don't go into this expecting them to become overnight besties, as that might not be the case. And B) Do all in your power to make sure that you are not contributing to any potential ill-feelings that might arise. While you cannot control the chemistry between them, you can control how you go about introducing the second bird and the steps you can take to ensure that they are given equal time and attention.

Personally, I use a turn-based system. And in implementing this, the bird you had first should be the one who gets the first turn. That way, he's less likely to feel as though he is being replaced. Here is a link to a thread I wrote up a while back on the introduction of a 2nd bird into the home. It goes into more detail, and you may find it helpful. http://www.parrotforums.com/training/74214-introducing-second-bird.html#post714358

As for some of the things you've been told, here is my perspective:

- Is it possible that he could lose interest in you and your family? Sure. But it's HIGHLY unlikely after the formation of a 22 year bond... especially if you handle the integration well.

-Are the girls more nasty? No. Not more nasty. Just different. You only need to understand them, and how they're wired. In the wild, the females are the ones who establish nests in the hollows of trees, raise their young, and protect their home from everything ranging from snakes to cockatoos. As such, some of their instincts will seem to be on the fiercer side... until you come to understand their triggers. And respect those triggers.

So, don't allow them to hang out anywhere that resembles a nesting hollow. No boxes, no covers, no cozy little nooks or spaces between furniture pieces, no hanging out under beds or couches, no hiding under pillows, no birds tents or rolls for their cages... none of it. Some of these things are really cute, but the behaviors that they can potentially trigger are definitely not. Instead of trying to train them out of the behavior and such, I simply never allow a situation wherein they can get to any of those spaces. Ever.

Also, respect their hormones. Some have a more volatile reaction to hormones than others. Come to understand the signs that they're feeling a bit... amorous, and change your interactions accordingly. You should never pet any bird on the back, near the base of the tail, under the wings, or - obviously - near the groin area, as doing so can stimulate hormonal behavior. But you can also cut down on sugary or fatty foods, and make sure to remain consistent with their daylight hours.

So, yes, I know female ekkies get a bad rep. But Maya (my girl) has drawn blood from me once in the six years I've had her. (She's seven) And that one time happened to be the first time she ever went through puberty. In the years since, she learned to cope better AND I learned to read her body language better. It's a partnership. She did her part, and I did mine, and now our relationship is close as can be.

- Will she take to him? Depends. Maya LOVED Bixby, my first male ekkie. (Unfortunately, he passed, as he was born with a disease.) But my current ekkie, Jolly? She has come to tolerate him. But he's just not her cup of tea. Lol!

- Should you add a baby? Well, if you want one. But while there are obvious pros: the cuddly stage, no prior baggage, the chance to watch her grow... there are also cons: they eventually hit puberty, you have to deal with that first time hormonal surge, and you'll be looking at strong hormonal behavior for quite a few years. At 22, while your boy might still be young and vigorous, he's likely calmed down A LOT from how he was between 3 and 10, right?

The biggest advantage of an adult is that you know what you're getting. They're past puberty and their personality has stabilized. There's no Mr. (or Mrs.) Hyde waiting in the wings. Lol!

But end of the day, whether you get a baby or not is really up to your own preference. Just go in with your eyes wide open.

And yes, lots of ekkies get upset when you're changing their cages. It's normal. I'm lucky, in that neither my male or female gets mad at me when I do, but they definitely get ruffled when my wife or my children do it. No biggie, though. Just instinct.

If you are worried about things being tense between the two of you now, do not get a mate. 1. they could bond and replace you to some extent, but, more than that, 2. they could fight and need TOTALLY separate time out of the cages etc without the other (SO, LIKE 8 HOURS COLLECTIVELY)....3. they could mate and create the need for incubators, formula etc (potentially leaving a wake of trauma)...babies aren't easy AT ALL...plus all of the new cages you would need to house siblings who would eventually fight and mate.

I watched a video of a fellow studying Eclectus's in the wild. One female had 11 male birds feeding her and mated with the majority; but only had chicks with 3 by dna tests. You are about to open a can of worms if you add the female. Up to you but as mentioned the outcome has a lot of ways to go south. It can be NICE, if you're lucky, too. However, are you willing to take all these chances, maybe rehome one of them and re train one. jh

Everything my dear friend Anansi has said.

I’d classify it similarly: Should I or shouldn’t I shouldn’t, in your case, Should not have a cloud of gloom and doom over the possibility of conflict. The dangers aren’t a pall on your decision. It’s a question of do you mind relationship maintenance.

Just like with humans, when you make room for a new friend in your group, the dynamics will change. Sometimes everyone gets along, sometimes they won’t. You just have to manage the relationships.

It’s not “I want to, but I’m afraid they might not get along, I don’t know what to do”

A confident parrot owner who knows what they are doing, when faced with this decision: “I want to. I’m a little concerned that they might not get along, but that’s ok. I want a female, and I’m happy to manage around whatever dynamics develop”.

People FREQUENTLY keep male and females, Anansi being one of them! So “they might not get along” shouldn’t be a factor. It’s more a question of do you have the time and energy for a second bird. And do you mind having to manage around two birds who don’t like each other, which can look something like never having them in the same room together, at the absolute worst.

As Anansi exemplifies with perfection, “gets along” comes on a spectrum from falling in love on one end, to passive ignoring each other, to outright aggression. It’s not romance or fighting, with no middle ground.

It's just like you and your friends. If you have a friend that doesn't care for your latest acquaintance; you'd ask the one that caused issue's to stand down, when you're a group. I know my friends do not pick my other friends for me. You would try to work it out. Most of us don't go out and look for a friend that will cause problems. jh

As someone who has two that don't see eye to eye, it CAN work. It's just more complicated. The first thing to consider is your reason for getting the female. Do you want her because YOU want another bird, or do you want her as a "friend" for your boy? If you want her for YOU, and have the time and patience for the possibility of them not getting along, then do what's right for you. In my case, my Ekkie boy would love to hang out with my YNA girl, and still tries but she has zero tolerance for his advances, and would injure him at this point. Luckily, he still has all his toes! So, they have separate time out of the cages, period. It would be easier if I could just open the cages in the morning and start the day, but that can't happen right now. Maybe someday... I make it work though, and they each get individual time with me, which they want and need anyway. It just takes more of my day to accomplish it. They're so worth it to me, and I make the time.

I am going to take my time and think it through some more. I think I will get the girl eventually but also have right mindset that they may not “live” together. Basil’s current acrylic cage is worn out and I am in the market for a new one. So I will make sure I get a large cage like his now with a dividing panel so they can have separate spaces if it happens that I get a girl but they don’t get along.

I am looking at cage from custom cages.com, any of you have one of these ? I may go back to the acrylic cage.com too, but wanted something with wired sides so perches don’t crack the cage as it ages.

Alembic772 said:

I am going to take my time and think it through some more. I think I will get the girl eventually but also have right mindset that they may not “live” together. Basil’s current acrylic cage is worn out and I am in the market for a new one. So I will make sure I get a large cage like his now with a dividing panel so they can have separate spaces if it happens that I get a girl but they don’t get along.

I am looking at cage from custom cages.com, any of you have one of these ? I may go back to the acrylic cage.com too, but wanted something with wired sides so perches don’t crack the cage as it ages.

Click to expand...

You will still need another cage (in a separate room) for the quarantine of a new bird though--just saying...

noodles123 said:

Alembic772 said:

I am going to take my time and think it through some more. I think I will get the girl eventually but also have right mindset that they may not “live” together. Basil’s current acrylic cage is worn out and I am in the market for a new one. So I will make sure I get a large cage like his now with a dividing panel so they can have separate spaces if it happens that I get a girl but they don’t get along.

I am looking at cage from custom cages.com, any of you have one of these ? I may go back to the acrylic cage.com too, but wanted something with wired sides so perches don’t crack the cage as it ages.

Click to expand...

You will still need another cage (in a separate room) for the quarantine of a new bird though--just saying...

Click to expand...

Yes this I understand. I was speaking more long term. She would go in new cage and he would stay in his until the quarantine period is over. Sorry for not making it clearer.

No apologies needed- I was just clarifying-- you are fine!

Just out of curiosity... Does anyone know of any breeders of SI in Florida? There used to be many of them, but it appears that has changed.

I believe laurella desborough of eclectusbreeder.com is out of Florida. One of the more well known eclectus breeders in the country.