Things no-one tells a first time parront :)

Sitting here, at 2am, making toys for a bird that is not even mine (colleague begged for some), I'm thinking to myself that there are lots of things one only learns about parronthood "in the trenches". Things like -
*A parrot is a law onto its own. Accept it & go with it.
*You WILL become a world class recycler, even considering the heretofore unthinkable 'dumpster-diving' to aquire just the right item to add to that special toy.
*That same special toy, after presented to your beloved fid, will hang, ignored (except for the occational poop action, in the cage.
*You will become an expert on poop.
*You will be unable to walk past a toy store without popping in "just to see what they have, one never knows".
*You will discover unknown depths of charm and beguilement in your efforts to coerce the greengrocer to keep you the best produce and then sell you only two items because your parrot can't eat it all before it goes off.
*You will become a carpenter and a wood fundi.
*You will love your bird as much as the child from your own loins - despite being covered in band-aids...
*When dishing up a meal for yourself, you will ALWAYS add something suitable for your birdie because he WILL demand a taste.
*Your whole time table will be adjusted to revolve around your baby's schedule. You (or someone you trust implicitly and who is not fed up with you yet) must be at home between 1pm and 6pm because that is your parrot's 'out of cage, time to rampage' time. And 6pm is bedtime - he has to be gently tucked away for the night...after you've told him what a lovely birdie he is, given him a foot rub (only the right foot mind you, the left foot is not for mere humans to fiddle with!), given him a specially prepared dinner, removed the fresh food after he's done eating, refreshed the water (which would probably have been soupified during dinner) and cage liner because no baby of yours can sleep in a cage lined with the day's accumulated poop or dinner left overs and of course, a clean liner makes it easy to inspect (and stress about) the morning explosion poop.

Please add your insights too

I love my bird!

Haha I love this! I always drag my partner into the pet store "just in case" I discover something I need to buy (yes NEED!)

I also find myself checking my shoulders for poop as I head back to work incase I missed it!

I think its perfect !!! [and should be known by all]

LOL So true cstambaugh. One day you will look in the fridge and only find bird food.... and that you really do have to vacuum five times a day if you want to see the floor...

O, but it 'tis true that I have become an expert on poop. I treasure my knowledge on fecal matter as one of my greatest accomplishments, and I have no shame in letting everyone know all about it.

I've learned a lot since becoming a "parront." I am definitely an expert in poop now! And I also have gained a considerable amount of patience since getting my first bird. Each new bird added to my flock seems to get more challenging than the last! I do love my birds a lot and learn every day from them. I even started writing articles on InfoBarrel about birds.

Five Foods That Are Poisonous to Your Bird - InfoBarrel

I love my birds and wouldn't trade them for the world!

All so true! You will also cut or style your hair in accordance with your bird's taste. A hat or fancy updo can warrant an attack. Your hair is nesting material and preening ground not to be fiddled with.
Jewelry (especially the shiny one) is expensive toy for your bird, if you don't want a beak to play with it, don't wear any. Same goes for glasses.

Echo said:

All so true! You will also cut or style your hair in accordance with your bird's taste. A hat or fancy updo can warrant an attack.

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OMG! That is so true! If my (midway down my back hair) is loose, I'm a stranger! It must ALWAYS be tied into a pony or better, a french plait. My bird's got fancy taste, I'll have you know

ditto on what riddick said

Nobody told me about all the beautiful floor decorations composed of her own fecal matter my budgie loves to add every day. (When I scrape it off each night, she watches me.)

Fantastic list. I had a little giggle to myself doing the exact things listed.

Being new to toy making as well as being a newish parront, I find myself going in to the pet stores to take pictures of the toys for ideas on what to make for my birds to ignore. And I found that I could punish my human kids for a LOT longer than I can my fids. After Simba drew me in with the outstretched foot and then bit me, drawing blood, I put him in his cage "for the day". Yeah, that didn't last but a couple hours and he was back out again.

The biggest problem is our skin. It's too soft and destructible to play like a parrot. Thus the band aids.

That you will forego airconditioning because her cage is not in the room with the airconditioner.