That bird you want, may not want you

One of the hardest things to do as a bird breeder is to say "no". People don't always understand why I won't sell them a bird. Some people get really angry. The truth is that I have been doing this a long time and I try very hard to sell the right bird to the right home. People come to me and say things like "I want a blue and gold macaw" or "I have always dreamed of having a cockatoo" or "My friend has an African grey and that's what I want". Then more often than not I have to say "That bird you want, may not want you". I don't sell people what they think they want, I sell people what they ACTUALLY want. (or sometimes I don't sell them anything at all). I often have to send people to different breeders to get the bird I believe is the right fit for their home. Why don't I just make the money and sell them what they want? Well, because I love my birds and don't want them to suffer in an unsuitable home. I have a Fitzroy cockatoo here that was given to me by a lady who had always wanted a cockatoo. She took on a rehome bird (which is not a bad thing per se), but this rehome is advanced in his lunacy. Kanunu (that's his name) will never leave here. He is dangerous at best, and doesn't tolerate anyone other than myself. If he sees my family members or strangers he screams and throws himself against the side of the aviary repeatedly. He has a long sad story which I may post somewhere else someday. She wanted a cockatoo, but she wound up with the wrong kind of cockatoo. It just so happened at the time that another lady wanted to give me her rather out of control ducorps cockatoo. I know a match when I see one, and the lady that had the Fitzroy now owns the ducorps. Bird and owner couldn't be happier. So, what do I look for when matching a bird and a family? A lot. I have always been really talented at reading people... I'm known for it... at church, at the homeless shelter I volunteer at, and pretty much everywhere else I go. I can almost always tell how long someone's marriage or relationship will last just by watching the two people for about 10 minutes... call it what you want, a gift, another sense, whatever... but it's that same skill I apply to finding homes for our birds. Every bird is an individual, but there are some general rules that always apply. A goffin is going to be a high energy destructive clown. A sulfur crest is going to be an independent overly smart and covertly manipulative. An umbrella is going to need a level headed owner who naturally sees the world in a similar way the umbrella seems to.
The point to this post is that when you go to buy or adopt a bird, you must be honest with yourself about who YOU really are. Then take all that online research and try to get a bigger picture of who the BIRD really is. Step outside yourself and honestly admit that the bird you want may not want you.

I wish more breeders felt the way you do. I think it would help to decrease the number of birds in rescues. I have massive amounts of respect for you

Oh trust me, I am just as messed up and flawed as the next person. Thanks though

:respect: :emoticonc :35:

You sure as heck don't sound messed up at all.

:respect: :emoticonc :35:

Yep. If they would just learn to pick the bird that also picks them, instead of trying to force a fit...

Funny story...

One of my most aggressive and evil rehab birds EVER was a RUBY macaw. Worst of both worlds. Scarlett beakiness with Greenwing dominance... and as smart and manipulative as any macaw I ever worked with... (I actually LIKE working with the evil ones, because those are often the smartest and most cognitive birds out there... )

A bird like that would normally NEVER under any circumstances go to an inexperienced Macaw person.... LO, AND BEHOLD, a total newbie literally walked up to this bird, and the bird did that "love at first sight thing." I mean the woman could do no wrong with this bird... [Where most people need not apply.]

She did the bird handling classes with me 1 on 1. I showed her all the evil tricks, and they've been together ever since... That was around 7-8 years ago now. This bird her out and about trained, arm candy...

SO, NOT ENOUGH IS MADE ABOUT THAT CONNECTION...

With pair bond birds especially, there are very real human/bird relationship issues here.

It's the difference between, I am a captive bird, so I have to deal with it, but would really rather not vs. I LOVE YOU, AND CAN'T WAIT TO INTERACT WITH YOU AGAIN!

This is so true.

Where we adopted our amazon from the lady there is very talented with this skill as well.

When we first called about meeting some parrots(after research of course) one question she asked us is why do you want a parrot. Our answer was"we don't know that we do we are interested in finding out more about them and see if it is something for us" She replied "Best answer I've heard in a long time"

After a few visits we kept coming back to this DYH amazon, now I wouldn't say he picked us per say but he was curious and being a clown for us. He used to be a mans bird so hubby thought he had a shoe in.

We decided that Bosley was the bird for us and Bosley being 36 really does keep things under his hat, but he was talkative and a show off. On our last visit before he came home the lady looked at me and said he's going to be your bird. Hubby thought nothing of that and said yeah right.

3 days after Bosley got home, he ran down his cage to me, sat in my lap, helped me with dinner LOL and it's been a love story ever since!!!

I have never had a bird before of any type.

Some people really can tell!

Well, the Ruby Mac (up until that time I was the favorite person) ACTUALLY LUNGED AT ME when I went to take her back from this person who wasn't supposed to be handling her in the first place...

SO, THAT WAS KIND OF A HINT...

It doesn't always take a birdie psychic to see it...

But yeah, the AMAZON CRUSH thing is very, very real.

The above post is especially true with Amazons and Macaws...

I am so happy to read your story. It makes me feel so good that people like you are out there and do what is best for the birds and their people.

You are really to be commended and I hope you keep doing what you are doing for many years to come!!

Birdman666 said:

A bird like that would normally NEVER under any circumstances go to an inexperienced Macaw person.... LO, AND BEHOLD, a total newbie literally walked up to this bird, and the bird did that "love at first sight thing." I mean the woman could do no wrong with this bird... [Where most people need not apply.]

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This is the exact reason why I find the larger birds so interesting.
Their level of intelligence is amazing and there is no predicting what they will do, they are their own creature.
I have run into many large parrots that I have been able to get on my shoulder, or head scratch, and even sometimes under wing scratch and amazed their owners because they swore their bird was "untouchable".

Right now I only have a parent raised female Bourkes which is very calm species, yet she gets excited to see me and does a strange screech sound when she hasn't seen me for a while.

That's the way it should be, I just wish the pet shops would do the same thing. I know a guy who has an aquarium shop and he refuses to sell when people demonstrate that they can't or won't look after the fish they want to buy. Living beings aren't commodities like inanimate objects.

You are also doing the purchasers a favour. I do a lot of research before I take things on, and I still got a surprise as to what bunnies are "really like in person" when I adopted mine. It can be very stressful trying to deal with something you aren't equipped for, so even if they don't realize it, you are doing them a favour not giving in to their wishes when you aren't satisfied that they are realistic.

strudel said:

Living beings aren't commodities like inanimate objects.

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Is this not what makes them so interesting and sometimes hard to deal with?
I find that most species of parrots are very emotional creatures that do their best to get what they need to be happy.

I also respect your 'business practice', because you could certainly make more money if you just sold people whatever they tell you they are willing to pay for.
I bought Georgie from my vet and he was the one who initially told me "you will probably want to get the bird who chooses you, not the other way around."
And so it was with Georgie. I "preferred" a different bird but she instantly wanted me, so I took her.

How true this is. I thought Mac was happy with me and seemed to be. But since I rehomed him, he's flourishing with his new family. They can do things with him that he would never let me do like flipping him on his back while giving him a shower. His feathers have come back in beautifully and he has stopped his plucking.