Storiesoffrankie
New member
It has taken me over a year now to post the truth to you all.
My beautiful beloved Frankie flew to heaven.. the horrible thing is...
IT WAS 100% PREVENTABLE!!
Now, Frankie was my little GCC. She was my absolute everything.
Unfortunately, I literally smothered my girl to death!
I was always aware of the possibility, but found it very easy to give in and say..
'just another five minutes of cuddles and then you go into your cage for bed time'
I cannot even begin to explain that feeling in my stomach that still has never left.. when I woke up.. I had slept in.. Frankie usually wakes me up before 9am at the latest. That scary thought was what woke me up and scream out her name.. "FRANKIE" .... there was silence.
I knew in my heart what had happened, I just knew.
I slowly rolled out of bed and lifted up the covers... There she was, my angel.
Lifeless, eyes sunk, almost flat.
I dropped to the hard ground and held her.
I begged her to wake up, I promised if she did I would have as many passion fruits (her favourite) as she could eat waiting for her.
I was hysterical.
"WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!" and I attempted to lightly push her chest (performing CPR) followed by breathing into her mouth.
I would get a glimpse of hope each time I pushed on her chest .. because she made a soft 'peep' noise...
(when it was because of the pressure I was putting on her tiny feathered body.. )
Then when I would breathe air into her mouth, her tiny chest would expand.
I couldn't control myself. I got to the point where I was so hysterical I tried to go back to sleep with her to hopefully find it was all just the worst nightmare I could EVER have! I must have been so worked up, I think I fainted and just like that... I had passed out back into my bed.. about to re live it all.
I suddenly woke (after almost an hour had gone by) burst out of bed almost convinced this time it was a bad dream. Called out her name, quickly jumped up and had to find my poor girl laying on the pillow, now, drenched in tears.
Right where I had left her.
My partner was called home from work after a friend who was staying with us immediately called him after hearing the screams and crys.
I told him that Frankie wasn't dead, I didn't mean to kill her and that she was still moving.. (I was in denial and kept 'seeing' her breathe)
My partner struggled to say the words "darling, this isn't Frankie.. look at her eyes, this isn't her. She is gone and I am so sorry"
He called my father from work.. it had been a while since I had seen him. Dad knew how much she meant to me and gave me the tightest hug.
I told him I didn't want to bury her.... just INCASE she could still be breathing..
He drove me up to our local (45 minute drive) Avian vet.
I burst in the door (no shoes on, tears streaming down my face, still in my pyjamas) holding her in my hands. I had her laying on her back ...
(ohhh.. she used to have full trust in me and let me rock her in the palm of my hand .. rocking on her back.. she trusted me to take care of her and I was now the reason for her death!! )
The vet, 'Penny' also was upset as she had watched Frankie grow up with me..
I asked her to listen for a heartbeat because I was certain she still had one.
She just wrapped her up for me in pink tissue paper... and even wrapped a purple bow around the paper so I didn't have to look at her eyes all sunken in the way they were..
Dad didn't drive back down that mountain until I found the right place to say goodbye to her.
I got him to pull over into a quiet lane where only the peaceful sounds of the running creek could be heard.
Across the creek, a huge White Oak tree caught my eye and I rested her right underneath it.
I told her how sorry I was, how I would never mean to do this to her.. and then I just thanked her over and over as I thought of all the happiness and laughs she had given me in her time.
I told her I will always love her and never stop talking to/about her.
The drive on the way home way quiet.
I was exhausted, and I just needed to rest.
TO THIS DAY... I still jolt out of my bed looking for her..
I even find myself scared to roll over or move at all in my sleep...
I don't think I could ever forgive myself. EVER.
It has been so hard trying to live without her chirpiness.
Let alone trying to live with MYSELF.
I think enough time has passed for me to at least post this to all of you beautiful, caring parrot owners out there...
To remind you of how it could be one morning..
And BELIEVE ME... Cuddling Frankie before I put her to bed was my FAVORITE time of the day..
of each day... We all know how cuddly they can get (especially GCC ! ) but it simply isn't worth the risk of this nightmare coming true..
I would much rather trade in the cuddles for the SAFE cage time ANY DAY!!
But I simply didn't think, I was extra tired that day, and I was enjoying her cuddles so much I fell asleep through out that whole night..
" R.I.P my beautiful Frankie, fly high and please, please forgive me. ..
I wish it just was A TERRIBLE DREAM, But, Frankie . . .
Thank you for being the best thing that walked into my life, for always being there for me, for loving me, for the happiest memories, for the stories I can still tell to this day.. You saved me and showed me how to use my wings I never even knew I had.. I miss you, I think about you..... and I even still talk to you ...(out loud!) each and every day.
Love Mummy xx "
My beautiful beloved Frankie flew to heaven.. the horrible thing is...
IT WAS 100% PREVENTABLE!!
Now, Frankie was my little GCC. She was my absolute everything.
Unfortunately, I literally smothered my girl to death!
I was always aware of the possibility, but found it very easy to give in and say..
'just another five minutes of cuddles and then you go into your cage for bed time'
I cannot even begin to explain that feeling in my stomach that still has never left.. when I woke up.. I had slept in.. Frankie usually wakes me up before 9am at the latest. That scary thought was what woke me up and scream out her name.. "FRANKIE" .... there was silence.
I knew in my heart what had happened, I just knew.
I slowly rolled out of bed and lifted up the covers... There she was, my angel.
Lifeless, eyes sunk, almost flat.
I dropped to the hard ground and held her.
I begged her to wake up, I promised if she did I would have as many passion fruits (her favourite) as she could eat waiting for her.
I was hysterical.
"WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!" and I attempted to lightly push her chest (performing CPR) followed by breathing into her mouth.
I would get a glimpse of hope each time I pushed on her chest .. because she made a soft 'peep' noise...
(when it was because of the pressure I was putting on her tiny feathered body.. )
Then when I would breathe air into her mouth, her tiny chest would expand.
I couldn't control myself. I got to the point where I was so hysterical I tried to go back to sleep with her to hopefully find it was all just the worst nightmare I could EVER have! I must have been so worked up, I think I fainted and just like that... I had passed out back into my bed.. about to re live it all.
I suddenly woke (after almost an hour had gone by) burst out of bed almost convinced this time it was a bad dream. Called out her name, quickly jumped up and had to find my poor girl laying on the pillow, now, drenched in tears.
Right where I had left her.
My partner was called home from work after a friend who was staying with us immediately called him after hearing the screams and crys.
I told him that Frankie wasn't dead, I didn't mean to kill her and that she was still moving.. (I was in denial and kept 'seeing' her breathe)
My partner struggled to say the words "darling, this isn't Frankie.. look at her eyes, this isn't her. She is gone and I am so sorry"
He called my father from work.. it had been a while since I had seen him. Dad knew how much she meant to me and gave me the tightest hug.
I told him I didn't want to bury her.... just INCASE she could still be breathing..
He drove me up to our local (45 minute drive) Avian vet.
I burst in the door (no shoes on, tears streaming down my face, still in my pyjamas) holding her in my hands. I had her laying on her back ...
(ohhh.. she used to have full trust in me and let me rock her in the palm of my hand .. rocking on her back.. she trusted me to take care of her and I was now the reason for her death!! )
The vet, 'Penny' also was upset as she had watched Frankie grow up with me..
I asked her to listen for a heartbeat because I was certain she still had one.
She just wrapped her up for me in pink tissue paper... and even wrapped a purple bow around the paper so I didn't have to look at her eyes all sunken in the way they were..
Dad didn't drive back down that mountain until I found the right place to say goodbye to her.
I got him to pull over into a quiet lane where only the peaceful sounds of the running creek could be heard.
Across the creek, a huge White Oak tree caught my eye and I rested her right underneath it.
I told her how sorry I was, how I would never mean to do this to her.. and then I just thanked her over and over as I thought of all the happiness and laughs she had given me in her time.
I told her I will always love her and never stop talking to/about her.
The drive on the way home way quiet.
I was exhausted, and I just needed to rest.
TO THIS DAY... I still jolt out of my bed looking for her..
I even find myself scared to roll over or move at all in my sleep...
I don't think I could ever forgive myself. EVER.
It has been so hard trying to live without her chirpiness.
Let alone trying to live with MYSELF.
I think enough time has passed for me to at least post this to all of you beautiful, caring parrot owners out there...
To remind you of how it could be one morning..
And BELIEVE ME... Cuddling Frankie before I put her to bed was my FAVORITE time of the day..
of each day... We all know how cuddly they can get (especially GCC ! ) but it simply isn't worth the risk of this nightmare coming true..
I would much rather trade in the cuddles for the SAFE cage time ANY DAY!!
But I simply didn't think, I was extra tired that day, and I was enjoying her cuddles so much I fell asleep through out that whole night..
" R.I.P my beautiful Frankie, fly high and please, please forgive me. ..
I wish it just was A TERRIBLE DREAM, But, Frankie . . .
Thank you for being the best thing that walked into my life, for always being there for me, for loving me, for the happiest memories, for the stories I can still tell to this day.. You saved me and showed me how to use my wings I never even knew I had.. I miss you, I think about you..... and I even still talk to you ...(out loud!) each and every day.
Love Mummy xx "
