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Old 02-27-2019, 04:57 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

You guys are the best, thank you At minimum, it was a relief just saying it out loud, but its been on my mind for months.

Promise I'm trying to keep everything short - so dang difficult. Nobody hates the infamous and largely unnecessary wall of text more than this millennial who refuses to read more than 3 lines of text before I move on <--not including anything people are posting on this thread of course, since its so important to me. To be clear, I'm reading and taking in everything you all are saying.

Note above I said it was primarily two issues. For the sake of "brevity" I left some stuff out, but you all hit on it - I have those issues listed above, but I also have the fall out from them I'm dealing with. And here I thought I haven't posted nearly enough lately for you all to pick up such things.

Yes, I'm seeing some behavior issues that I believe are attributable to less freedom:
1. He is more vocal than usual,
a. Of note, aside form what I said above, Prolific lunging and/or VERY LOUD eclectus growling from the cage when people are passing remotely close to the cage, to a very disturbing degree. Its gotten so bad, he now does it out of nowhere, as were just watching TV, not moving at all. But its all bark and no bite because he will step up immediately if you put your hand in the cage to get him. This growling I really don't understand.

2. His behavior is a bit more obstinate, particularly Step up is less reliable, particularly from the top of the cage or on the ground.

I'm gonna take some time to absorb and internalize these recommendations and see if I can do anything different, but heres my gut reaction:

1. I know its not hormones - I keep those under wraps now. He gets very little in the way of fruit actually, both for this reason and more for practical reasons. he gets them usually as whole fruits (not cut) fed on top of his cage - cleaner this way. No out of cage time means no top of cage, means no fruits. Occasional grape thrown into his bowl if we have it, but its a rarity. His diet is largely frozen chop (always veggie and grain heavy) and sprouts. TOPS pellets in the morning.

2. Training new sounds: I'm actively trying to do this. I'm having only limited success Largely because I don't have training buy-in from Eddie. He knows better, but will still yell at Parker if he yells or otherwise make an uncomfortably loud noise (He's heard "don't get into a screaming match with a parrot, moron!" more times than I can count), and doesnt' really reward the good sounds. So he gets mixed signals.

Understand, Parker is definitely in behavior boot camp. Trying to keep this short, but he was misbehaving, at one point had me literal tears a couple months ago (which was probably just me being overly sensitive to some aggressive refusals to step up combined with a bite, if I'm being honestl; a bit dramatic). In the tears I realized my approach to his misbehavior was all wrong, and I've been working on him and myself. Hes undergoing some step up training, and its definitely helping in a few areas.

Hes gotten better, but ultimately the lack of freedom I do think is a confounding issue actively underminding training efforts to some degree. AND I think the dogs could potentially be bothering him, depending on the individual dog - most leave him alone and he seems unbothered by them. but some of the noisier than others, or some pay more attention to him than others.

Its a hard balancing act for sure.
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Old 02-27-2019, 06:36 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

I am the OTHER. You know, THAT GUY who doesn't think parrots are people, all that. lol But I admire the way you folks persist, analyze, reset, restart, try again. I endured and I'm glad I did. I wish ya well, buddy, both o' ya's.
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Old 02-27-2019, 08:16 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road



The old saying. "If it meant to be easy, It won't be called LIFE"



You love Parker to the point of being guilty for thinking of "R"



I know you will be hurt but think what is best for the three of you. Can you live without your partner? Can you live without Parker?



You made me think of a saying... "Life is like a dance, we learn as we go"


Best wishes on your choice and I really am hoping the three of you are always be together....


I know it is hard... Trust me, I know... **hugs**


***CHUUUUUUUUUU**

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Old 02-27-2019, 09:15 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

I know no matter how hard we try we can never express the complexity of our struggles in short (or long) forum posts. But if we can be helpful you know we will try. And we all know YOU are trying as well!!


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Old 02-27-2019, 11:05 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

Quote: Originally Posted by SilverSage View Post
I know no matter how hard we try we can never express the complexity of our struggles in short (or long) forum posts. But if we can be helpful you know we will try. And we all know YOU are trying as well!!


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We do have some motormouths in our midsts.

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Old 02-27-2019, 11:06 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

Quote: Originally Posted by john8terry View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by SilverSage View Post
I know no matter how hard we try we can never express the complexity of our struggles in short (or long) forum posts. But if we can be helpful you know we will try. And we all know YOU are trying as well!!


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We do have some motormouths in our midsts.

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That is not at all what I meant. Not remotely.


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Old 02-28-2019, 10:07 AM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

Chris, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have no suggestions to add to the wonderful ones you have received, and the proactive work you are doing with Parker.
My Friend, I know that if anyone can work through this, that person is you. I have so much respect and admiration for you, your insights are always dead on. You were a huge help with my Slater issues, and I wish I could return the favor.
I am hoping that things get better for all of you.
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Old 02-28-2019, 03:00 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

I am so sorry your partner has such a hard time-
no I did not completely miss the point, of course *you* are the one getting hurt the most here (and it's been happening a really long time if I read your story right).
You are caught in the middle: a parrot that gets more unruly every day and a partner that gets more annoyed at the same rate and/but is also a main source of the parrot behaving worse and worse...


Something like a rock and a hard place-sandwich, with you slap bang in the middle



There is only so much YOU can do- and you are doing it ...
Parker is behaving for you, but not the other flockmember.
And the other guy is so not helping
(Not accusing him of deliberately doing this, it is always very difficult to tolerate or appreciate someone elses hobby/other love of his/her life when it in no way resonates in yours. And parrots can be a tremendous nuisance.)


I am not saying "tie him to a chair and shine a bright light in his eyes till he confesses" but I think you need to have a really honest and serious talk if your partner is really willing to share you with said parrot at all.
Because if he isn't ... at last it will be clear and you all can decide what to do from there.
(Maybe he can have a heart to heart with Rival ?)
If he is willing to share...then is it time for parrotowners bootcamp to make sure BOTH parronts are on the same page on how to deal with the feathered part of the family.


Not everyone is a parrotperson, and that is a lot harder than not be a horseperson (that animal will not be sharing your house for one thing, or land in your breakfast...).
There is no shame in not being able to cope with a noisy, uncivilized, undomesticated, overly-attention-demanding animal who can hurt your eardrums and shred your skin.
Not being competely honest about that with the person you love... is another matter.


You both handle/ deal with the dogs, right?
So there is no reason you would not be able to handle a parrot together, both animals have a certain set of rules you have to know, use and follow.

Last edited by ChristaNL; 02-28-2019 at 03:07 PM.
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Old 02-28-2019, 08:59 PM
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Re: Marching down an uncertain road

Chris, I have zero advice for you, but I sure do know what itís like to live with someone who doesnít agree on parronting styles (for fids, dogs, AND human children). Itís no fun at all, especially when you know youíre the reasonable one. So I just wanted you to know I get it and Iím sorry youíre in this situation.


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Old 03-01-2019, 11:03 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Marching down an uncertain road

All things can be improved with the appropriate habituation and training. People and parrots. It's merely a matter of setting our expectations accordingly, and then engaging in open communication, grounded by mutual consideration, in the spirit of jolly cooperation.


I think given all you've indicated you two have achieved together, that this is a most certainly surmountable issue.
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