Poppy’s Continuing Journey

Allee

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Some of you may remember I stepped down as a moderator a few months ago and have only recently returned. 2018 was a long stressful year for my family. I’ve always heard the term heartbreak used in casual conversation, over the last few months I’ve felt my heart shatter more than once.

I’m sharing Poppy’s ongoing story for a couple of reasons, one because Poppy was a celebrity here on ParrotForums and the members of our amazing community made my time with Poppy a journey to celebrate. Thank you for all the advice, the support, the love and the joy. Here’s proof, we are a powerful group and we can improve the lives of parrots and their humans one bird at a time.

The second reason I’m sharing Poppy’s story is because of the number of times this ugly word comes up. Rehome is not a word we ever want to hear. Owners should plan better, you should never adopt a bird you can’t commit to forever, never make a promise you can’t keep, try everything before you make the decision to rehome. I did all those things. It wasn’t enough.

We adopted Poppy in September of 2013. She was traumatized, terrified and cagebound, very unhappy U2, bad diet, bad health, bad attitude and a few bad behaviors she had learned in a previous home. We addressed her issues one at a time, we got to know each other, her health improved, she loved her new cage, especially the balcony, the quakers loved her, my family and friends loved her, I absolutely adored her, I still do. Poppy and I worked so hard on her training. She learned to run out of her cage when the door was opened for her, she learned to perch on forearms instead of shoulders, she learned to play rather than scream, we all loved her indoor voice and cockatoo gibberish. I kept reading horror stories about cockatoos and thinking how fortunate we were to have such a sweet, well adjusted U2. I never thought it would end.

In July of 2017 we adopted a Congo African Grey named Jack and a beautiful Yellow Naped Amazon named Bingo. This was okay with Poppy until it wasn’t. She didn’t care for her new flock mates and voiced her opinions loudly, we moved Poppy into a room of her own and added more training sessions and one on one time, this helped and things improved enough to be manageable.

I met a wonderful woman, a hairdresser, I liked her immediately and got to know her a little better every time she did my hair. Before I mentioned living with a U2 she told me how much and for how long she had wanted one. I think even then I had a haunting premonition of what was to come.

I have two incredible human sons, our youngest served 14 years in the U.S.A.F. He served in the desserts of Afghanistan, lived in Las Vegas and Alaska and saw a lot of faraway places. After a devastating spinal injury and major surgery his military career ended with an honorable discharge. That was three years ago. I tried to connect with this adult I no longer knew, this beautiful child I had known better than I knew myself, this angry, disillusioned young man that is my son. As often happens, when a person is at the most vulnerable point in their life an opportunistic monster comes along to take advantage, for my son the monster was a woman he knew from high school. The relationship was a disaster from day one, they had a profound effect on other and nothing about it was positive in any way, shape or form. My husband and I tried our best to form a new relationship with our son, we went to the island of Oahu with our son and his fantasy girl for eight days, sometimes truth hurts, this woman was a train wreck, no room for denial. For some reason in my son’s confused brain I became the focus of his anger at the world, the military, the entire medical community and all its associates..... After the trip I distanced myself out of respect for my son, I knew there was no hope of a reconciliation with his girlfriend or with him as long as he was under her influence. My son and I who have always had a deep bond exchanged texts with each other, our only communication for a few months.

On the evening of 9/11 2018, I got a phone call from my son, he said he’d broke some glass then he promptly hung up. His father called me back, a conference call with my youngest and his older brother. The call came during a terrible storm, my son asked for help with his father and brother as witnesses. I drove for 45 minutes in a downpour and found my son standing in the storm wearing only a pair of shorts. I brought him home, of course I did, the next morning I drove back for his precious ESA dog Janey, he had forgotten her the night before.

PTSD is up close, personal and extremely scary and there’s no easy fix. Poppy had a dramatic and immediate reaction to my son, Stormy. Stress levels were through the roof and Poppy visibly felt it. She began screaming, it’s hard to explain, I don’t know if he reminded her of someone, it wasn’t like she was afraid of him, more like she could feel his emotions. I tried everything I could possibly try. The other birds and the dogs showed signs of stress but they were able to adjust to the changes and it helped that all of them either liked or were fascinated by Stormy. Not Poppy, she would visibly tremble and hide at the sight of him. She was a habitual screamer when she first came to us, I watched my gorgeous, well adjusted girl come completely unraveled. I knew I had to make the right decision for her. I called Misty, the hairdresser I had known for a year. She was delighted, she had waited a very long time for her dream bird.

After I made my decision, I spent two weeks telling my beautiful girl Goodby. We played her favorite games, I put her in her carrier and kept her beside me, we took long car rides that she loved. I cooked her favorite foods, made her a new swing for her new home, packed everything that belonged to her, her hat collection, her piano, all her favorite possessions. I could hear my heart breaking but the tears were for me, not Poppy. I just knew she was going on an incredible new adventure. I also knew I could trust Misty to give Poppy the life she deserves.

My husband and son went with me to deliver Poppy to her new home and her new Mommy. We set up her cage, I told Misty about Poppy’s diet and gave her a month’s worth of dry food and a fresh batch of birdie bread. I had already said Goodby to my sweet girl, it was time for Hellos and new beginnings, Poppy climbed out on the door of her cage and reached for Misty, she stepped onto Misty’s wrist and tucked her sweet face under Misty’s chin. I did not cry in front of these people that could never understand, I cried later, for hours, alone. This is the first and only time I will share this very personal story with you, the people who know what it’s like to live with and love parrots.

Poppy, you’ll always be my sunshine. Please forgive me. There was no other choice I could make, Baby Girl. Be happy, be loved, be you.

I made a slideshow of some of my favorite photos of Poppy.




This is a photo of Poppy with her beautiful mommy, Misty.

 

GaleriaGila

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Wow. Courage and love can take many forms, as you well know and show, dear Allee. Sometimes that can be the r-word... re-home.
Thanks for sharing. I know it will help a lot of people.
Wow.
This is a read-reread, for sure.
 
OP
Allee

Allee

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Thank you for the kind words, Gail. I love you, Sweet Lady.
 

Laurasea

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Awww I cried. I understand. I very firmly believe that that some birds belong in different homes, for the wellness if both parties. I've seen traumatized birds that were selfishly held onto. When it's done with love and much thinking it can be the best thing. It's only a terrible thing when it's done with no thought, and for selfish reasons. I hope Poppy has a wonderful and fulfilled life with her new mommy.
I also hope your son heals, abd your family heals. And you take time to enjoy the little unexpected beauties each day holds. Mine today was the joy my neighbor, whome I am helping make his yard wildlife friendly, had his first goldfinche visit. He was blown away by the color. :)
I'm glad you shared your burden with us, and I hope you can feel it lighten!
 
OP
Allee

Allee

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Thank you, Laura! That means a lot. I wish all parrots could find a home as amazing as the one I found for Poppy, it makes all the difference. Sometimes a higher a power brings special people into our lives at exactly the right moment.

You are so right. Never take for granted those special moments and life’s wonders that make the world a brighter place. A wildlife friendly yard is a great way to find your zen.
 

HEEDLESS

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Heartbroken when you have to re-home your baby... **hugs**
I know that feeling when you know your baby will be no longer with you.

Either it's pet or child, the feeling is the same. I feel yours just like when my son has end it with me.

I am glad that mom, Misty loves her just like you did.


**CHUUUUUUUUU**
 

Tami2

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Thank you for sharing such a personal and difficult story with us. I cried as well.

I’m very sorry about your son and I will pray for him and your family.
I can’t even imagine what you are all going through. They say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, I wonder about that sometimes.

As heartbreaking and stressful as it was to part ways with your beautiful Poppy.
The bright side is that you had the perfect new mommy right there and you not only know her, you trust her. Because of that relationship, you’ll always be involved and a part of Poppy’s life. You did what any good parront would do because you love her and wants what’s best for her.

This is indeed a happy ending for Poppy.

May God keep you all in his blessings.

(((HUGS)))
 
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LaManuka

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Allee I am in tears and in complete awe of your strength and courage. Are you still in touch with Poppy? Either way I wish you happiness in the coming year and beyond, I hope somehow your son finds his way back to you and the infinite love you clearly have in your heart ... I gotta go find a tissue (or several!) now ...
 
OP
Allee

Allee

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Heartbroken when you have to re-home your baby... **hugs**
I know that feeling when you know your baby will be no longer with you.

Either it's pet or child, the feeling is the same. I feel yours just like when my son has end it with me.

I am glad that mom, Misty loves her just like you did.


**CHUUUUUUUUU**

Lily, thank you so much. I know you understand from experience and I truly appreciate your kindness. Seeing you reunited with your precious Kise was such a happy moment. Kise and Poppy are both very fortunate birds due to amazing people willing and able to help. Thier stories make me feel humble and very grateful.

Thank you for sharing such a personal and difficult story with us. I cried as well.

I’m very sorry about your son and I will pray for him and your family.
I can’t even imagine what you are all going through. They say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, I wonder about that sometimes.

As heartbreaking and stressful as it was to part ways with your beautiful Poppy.
The bright side is that you had the perfect new mommy right there and you not only know her, you trust her. Because of that relationship, you’ll always be involved and a part of Poppy’s life. You did what any good parront would do because you love her and wants what’s best for her.

This is indeed a happy ending for Poppy.

May God keep you all in his blessings.

(((HUGS)))

Tami, thank you so much for the hugs, prayers and understanding, it means a lot. I honestly don’t know what kind of story I would be writing had I not met Misty when I did, the president’s security guards may not have been so carefully vetted, Misty met all the qualifications and then some.

We all have challenges in life, I’ve repeated the serenity prayer a lot this past year. I’ve also wondered about the no burden to heavy to bear thing, sometimes it feels pretty heavy. I’m very happy for Poppy even though I miss her more than words can convey.



Allee I am in tears and in complete awe of your strength and courage. Are you still in touch with Poppy? Either way I wish you happiness in the coming year and beyond, I hope somehow your son finds his way back to you and the infinite love you clearly have in your heart ... I gotta go find a tissue (or several!) now ...

Awww, thank you so very much, I appreciate you crying with me but remember to laugh for Poppy, she’s happy and that’s what matters most. I’m happy to say I am still in touch with Poppy and Misty. I invited Misty to join us on ParrotForums and I kind of think she will. She’ll always be my hero and Poppy’s.
 

Terry57

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Allee, I am so glad you shared this, and I know how difficult it was for you to do.
My friend, I have been in awe of you since I have known you, an my respect and admiration for you has only grown over the years. Watching you deal with everything life has thrown at you in the last year has been heartbreaking, yet also inspiring. You are the strongest woman I know, and the strength and love you have shown during this, not only for Stormy but for Poppy as well is nothing short of incredible.

Sometimes things happen that we had no way of anticipating, and you put Poppy first, before your own feelings. You took in a bird who was damaged by her previous life, and slowly you put her pieces back together. I shudder to think of how Poppy would be now if she hadn't had you as a stepping stone to get her to where she is now. Your love made it possible for her to go to a good home, to someone who had waited years for her to come along. She has nothing to forgive you for, and I know that if Poppy could tell you, she would say thank you. Thank you for taking her in and changing her life, and thank you for finding the new wonderful home she is in now.

Your love and loyalty to those you love are like nothing I have ever seen before, and I count myself so lucky to be a part of your circle.

Thank you for illustrating that the right thing is all too often the hardest thing to do, but you did it for Poppy, and for Stormy. You are amazing, and I love you for being the wonderful person that you are.
 

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RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Thank you, Allee, for sharing Poppy's continuing journey. My eyes wept as you weaved a story of redemption and shared sacrifice. I have no doubt your influence on Stormy will be positive, while Poppy and Misty forge a tight bond. May your selfless actions ultimately bring you peace and closeness with Stormy. You are an amazingly gifted parront and wonderfully supportive parent.
 

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Leaking eyes here as well but also ...
(Sorry if this sounds patronizing) I am SO proud of you!
Not just for rescuing Poppy in the first place, but being brave enough to deal with yet another messed up life without losing sight of all the others.
You let her go because she needed that- despite the heartache it brought you.


Best wishes and lots of light to you and yours (including the ones that are living in your heart and not currently with you in the house).
 

SailBoat

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My Dear Allee,
I have spend my live on only one side of what you experienced. All of our Amazon have come to us old, sick and abused with no want to ever trust another Human. Their passing had always been very hard, but we knew that they had found comfort and love prior to passing.
To rehome, is beyond the pain of a passing as we have resources and knowledge to provide a happy healthy home. When we are faced with all our success falling down around us and having to make that heartbreaking choice to rehome that is a place I have not been. Nor, is it a place that I could handle lightly. Your pain in beyond any that I have ever felt and my heart bleeds tears of sadness dear friend.
May the comfort of Huge Warm Amazon Feather Hugs and Prays Comfort You as they flow not only from a single person, but a huge family of like Parrot lovers. May our joint comfort, warmth and prays provide you with loving support.
Your self-appointed closest friend, Steven
 
OP
Allee

Allee

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Allee, I am so glad you shared this, and I know how difficult it was for you to do.
My friend, I have been in awe of you since I have known you, an my respect and admiration for you has only grown over the years. Watching you deal with everything life has thrown at you in the last year has been heartbreaking, yet also inspiring. You are the strongest woman I know, and the strength and love you have shown during this, not only for Stormy but for Poppy as well is nothing short of incredible.

Sometimes things happen that we had no way of anticipating, and you put Poppy first, before your own feelings. You took in a bird who was damaged by her previous life, and slowly you put her pieces back together. I shudder to think of how Poppy would be now if she hadn't had you as a stepping stone to get her to where she is now. Your love made it possible for her to go to a good home, to someone who had waited years for her to come along. She has nothing to forgive you for, and I know that if Poppy could tell you, she would say thank you. Thank you for taking her in and changing her life, and thank you for finding the new wonderful home she is in now.

Your love and loyalty to those you love are like nothing I have ever seen before, and I count myself so lucky to be a part of your circle.

Thank you for illustrating that the right thing is all too often the hardest thing to do, but you did it for Poppy, and for Stormy. You are amazing, and I love you for being the wonderful person that you are.

It’s always been an honor to count you as one of my closest friends. I have tons of respect and admiration for you. Your unfailing kindness and compassion for all the perfectly imperfect birds you selflessly care for every day is a constant inspiration to those of us fortunate enough to be a part of your circle. Thank you for always listening and understanding, I honestly can’t imagine not having you in my life.

Leaking eyes here as well but also ...
(Sorry if this sounds patronizing) I am SO proud of you!
Not just for rescuing Poppy in the first place, but being brave enough to deal with yet another messed up life without losing sight of all the others.
You let her go because she needed that- despite the heartache it brought you.


Best wishes and lots of light to you and yours (including the ones that are living in your heart and not currently with you in the house).

Thank you for your kind words, Christa. It’s nice to know a fellow rescuer understands where my heart was, where it had to be, your remark was not at all patronizing, there were plenty of moments when I was anything but proud of myself. Your support is much appreciated.

Thank you, Allee, for sharing Poppy's continuing journey. My eyes wept as you weaved a story of redemption and shared sacrifice. I have no doubt your influence on Stormy will be positive, while Poppy and Misty forge a tight bond. May your selfless actions ultimately bring you peace and closeness with Stormy. You are an amazi:rolleyes: parront and wonderfully supportive parent.

Thank you, Ace! You’re one of those special Too advocates that make the world a better place. We’ve had a lot of fun with Poppy haven’t we? I hope she continues to find new friends, joy and happiness for the remainder of her life. She’s incredible, she deserves the best life has to offer.

My Dear Allee,
I have spend my live on only one side of what you experienced. All of our Amazon have come to us old, sick and abused with no want to ever trust another Human. Their passing had always been very hard, but we knew that they had found comfort and love prior to passing.
To rehome, is beyond the pain of a passing as we have resources and knowledge to provide a happy healthy home. When we are faced with all our success falling down around us and having to make that heartbreaking choice to rehome that is a place I have not been. Nor, is it a place that I could handle lightly. Your pain in beyond any that I have ever felt and my heart bleeds tears of sadness dear friend.
May the comfort of Huge Warm Amazon Feather Hugs and Prays Comfort You as they flow not only from a single person, but a huge family of like Parrot lovers. May our joint comfort, warmth and prays provide you with loving support.
Your self-appointed closest friend, Steven

Steven, My Dear Friend, I sincerely hope you are never faced with such an awful decision. All our journey’s are different, I don’t think we’re meant to get past all the challenges, maybe the best we can hope for is to get through them.

I never take the comfort and support of our amazing community for granted. It’s hard to put into words how much your support means. Thank you.
 

Anansi

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Aw, Huckleberry. First, let me send you the biggest, tightest bear hug. I wish I could be there to deliver it in person, sweetheart. I've known you for years, now. We became mods together. And you've become one of my dearest friends. So I know how difficult a choice this was for you. I know how much Poppy means to you, and I also know how deeply and wholeheartedly you love your family. So my heart truly breaks for you having to make such an impossible decision.

But it was indubitably the right one.

It has become more and more clear to me over the last few years how very sensitive birds are to the emotions of those around them. I remember never giving much credence in the past to the thought of explaining things to one's bird. But I've come to realize the importance of doing just that. Not for the words said, but rather for the sentiment conveyed via our body language. Our birds seem to be downright empathic. And from all accounts, this is even more potently the case with cockatoos. Their sensitivity to our feelings seems to go well beyond that of most parrots, which is saying a lot. So the emotionally tumultuous situation with your son (yes, PTSD is devastating) would definitely be stressful for sweet Poppy.

Enough so that an ideal home could become significantly less so.

I find that, in this situation, I'm thankful for a few things. I'm thankful that Poppy was blessed with you for a mom in the first place. A more sweet, loving, determined and dedicated parent she would have been hard-pressed to find. You helped Poppy discover that there is more to life than surviving. You introduced her to joy, family, and love. There is no greater gift than that.

I'm thankful for your son, and the 14 years that he has served this country. And I'm thankful that he has the support that he needs in you. A support that so many returning veterans do not necessarily have upon their own homecoming.

I'm thankful that Poppy has found a wonderful new mom in Misty (if she got through your vetting process, she must be phenomenal!)

And I'm thankful for you, Huckleberry. Thankful for the person that you are, and the friendship that we have. And the strength of spirit necessary for you to have shared this incredibly difficult and personal story with us. You, your family, and of course, Poppy, remain in my thoughts and prayers.
 

saxguy64

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Oh Allee, my heart is breaking for you. You're stronger than I could ever be in that situation. PTSD is a very real thing. Tucker's previous owner suffered terribly from it, and made the decision to give up their birds rather than harm them or himself. The stress level was unbearable for all of them. Between that and the predatory birds in their area, the birds started screeching constantly, which set off the poor guy's PTSD to the point where he was out of control. He had started banging on the cages in attempts to stop the noise, which of course, made things worse. Thank goodness he made the decision to give them up before it was too late. Tucker was obviously loved and very well cared for up to that point, and I'm certain it was a painful decision for them as well. In the interest of well being for all of them, it was the right thing to do. My wife is a firm believer in "everything for a reason," and I like to consider the bigger picture in life as well. Maybe things worked out so Tucker would be with me when I needed him. I don't know. I hope and pray for you that you will be at peace with your decision, however painful, and know it is the best choice, and there is a reason.

Jon
 
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Allee

Allee

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Awww Doc, you have an incredible knack for saying exactly what I need to hear. Thanks for the virtual bear hug, I could sure use a hug in person.

I agree, with every year I spend with parrots I gain new insights. I know my birds so well and they know me that well too. Little feathered empaths, I can fix most things for them but I couldn’t fix this. Poppy taught me so much and watching her heal and thrive was pure joy, I couldn’t watch her go back to the dark place she was in when she came to me, she deserved better.

Thank you for your kind words for Stormy, I’m proud of his service to our country and my heart breaks for all our servicemen and women who willingly give so much and have so little support when they finally come home.

You are such a wonderful friend! I’m very fortunate to count you as one of my closest friends. We’ve been through a lot together since that day we became mods, I don’t know what I’d do without you, Doc. You are my shoulder when I need to cry, you’re often my moral compass, and sometimes the jailer for my inner Texan, mostly you are sunlight on the darkest days. Thank you for the love, prayers and support. Love you back.
 
OP
Allee

Allee

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Oh Allee, my heart is breaking for you. You're stronger than I could ever be in that situation. PTSD is a very real thing. Tucker's previous owner suffered terribly from it, and made the decision to give up their birds rather than harm them or himself. The stress level was unbearable for all of them. Between that and the predatory birds in their area, the birds started screeching constantly, which set off the poor guy's PTSD to the point where he was out of control. He had started banging on the cages in attempts to stop the noise, which of course, made things worse. Thank goodness he made the decision to give them up before it was too late. Tucker was obviously loved and very well cared for up to that point, and I'm certain it was a painful decision for them as well. In the interest of well being for all of them, it was the right thing to do. My wife is a firm believer in "everything for a reason," and I like to consider the bigger picture in life as well. Maybe things worked out so Tucker would be with me when I needed him. I don't know. I hope and pray for you that you will be at peace with your decision, however painful, and know it is the best choice, and there is a reason.

Jon

Thank you Jon. Thank you for the kindness and for the insight. PTSD is new for me, I’m still learning. Poppy picked up on Stormy’s stress level and amplified it with her magnificent voice which raised his stress level even higher, the combination was unreal. I know Stormy didn’t intentionally do anything to scare or hurt her it was the stress itself, my older son’s wife and I talked about it, when his PTSD was at it’s worst, you could feel it, it must have been so confusing for Poppy, she didn’t know what to do, only that she needed help. He didn’t see the effect he had on her or even the connection but that didn’t make it any easier on Poppy. I agree wholeheartedly with your wife, everything does happen for a reason. I sincerely hope the next chapter in Poppy’s life is filled with as much love and happiness as you and your family gave to Tucker during his chapter with you. Your hope and prayers are much appreciated.
 

plumsmum2005

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Nov 18, 2015
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Lou, Ruby, and Sonu.
Fly free Plum, my gorgeous boy.
Ah sweet lady, you put your girl before yourself, a tough one that is. Sending you and yours postive thoughts, very best wishes and feathered hugs.
 
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Allee

Allee

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Oct 27, 2013
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U2-Poppy(Poppy lives with her new mommy, Misty now) CAG-Jack, YNA, Bingo, Budgie-Piper, Cockatiel-Sweet Pea Quakers-Harry, Sammy, Wilson ***Zeke (quaker) Twinkle (budgie) forever in our hearts
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Awww, thank you for the kind words, much appreciated.

Great to hear from you, I hope the world has been treating you right.
 

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