Help! Will she/he EVER get tame???

Hi, I've written about Blu IRN a few times before. She (I really think it's a she), is just not tame and super scared of me and my husband and does not trust us. She is nippy if we try to get her to step up and hates us. I try to stay away as much as I can except treats and talks so she can get her space and learn to trust. But after a long pause for a few days, I notice she's doing a bit better and try to get her to step up and she's at it again! Fleeing or biting.. It's been 2 months! Aw cmon! When will this bird ever trust us or is she gonna stay wild forever?? What should I do? Avoid asking her to step up altogether? For how long? What's wrong with her? Is this normal? Will she ever get tame and trusting??? Please help!!!!:17:

This answer is right on!

SilverLining said:

With Ringnecks, it takes time, patience and positive reinforcement.

When he gets scared and starts to thrash about. Just sit still in front of his cage and talk and a sweet soothing voice. Even try singing a little if you can. Try to reassure him you mean no harm. Be patient and consistent as this may take time.

When he eats out of your hand, praise him really excitedly when he approaches you for food. Make him feel he is doing a good thing. Over time, he will associate you with good things and be less afraid of you.

Good luck!

Click to expand...

Frustrating thing about patience---- takes time!

From what I have read, IRN's are particularly stubborn when it comes to this. 2 months is nothing. Good advice above and patience. IRNs have a reputation of going 'wild' if the socialization was not constant. SLow movements, lots of treats, and sittng by the cage, talking softly. Aim for small things first, like getting it to eat from your hand. Then stepping up, but dont forget previous acheivments. IRNs are very cool birds - the holy bird back in India, for their ability to memorize and say the chants and prayers the monks would say every day. Keep in touch with the board and let us know how you and your husband are doing.

Thanks so much! Well, it's reassuring and disappointing ☹️ Reassuring that this is normal behavior for an IRN, but disappointing that it would take a lot more time.. Patience is not my strength sigh! Alex my alexandrine was ready to step up in no time and he's such a gentle guileless bird! So I expected the same with Blu I guess but I see they're very different.. Blu is just so cute and it's so hard not to be tempted not to thrust my hand under her/his belly too much.. She/he eats right out of my hand, even 'accidentally' climbed onto my arm once greedy for nuts but will not do it again.. When Alex is with me, she flies to me and starts to nip me all over my hand (I never even asked her to come to me!).. Thanks, I'll definitely keep you posted!

Don't be disappointed, once they warm up they are amazing! A love worth having is worth waiting for

I am a new bird owner (under a year). I have a Senegal who is 14 months and a blue IRN (dna female) that will be a year on July 16th. She allows everyone in the house to hold her. However she will still snap at my hand in her cage. Sometimes when I am putting food in the cage, she will smack her beak on her branch perch as a warning.
Have you tried leaving her door open and allowing her out?
Or maybe use a long perch to have her step up on while IN the cage, to bring her out, then put her on a stand. Maybe do this for a while and after she gets use to that (days, weeks, what ever it takes) then maybe see if you can get her to step up on your finger, while AWAY from the cage.

Actually, if a bird is thrashing around inside the cage, the second to LAST thing you should be doing is standing there trying to reassure and calm the bird! This can only result in stress.

What you *should* be doing is backing off. Get away from the bird so that the bird doesn't feel threatened. Let the bird calm down in peace.



Once calm, you can then try approaching in a calm, slow manner. If you see the bird look for an escape route (looking around, leaning back, moving away...) then stop. You are at the edge of the bird's comfort zone. Take one or two steps back and let the bird calm down again. If the bird is calm and comfortable, you can try approaching again, but again, see avoidance behaviors, stop and step back.


If a bird is really afraid, don't look them directly in the eyes. Don't make eye contact.



Mrs Peters, how are you trying to get your ringneck to step up?

I agree with backing off. A bird who is that wild is only going to respond with a fight or flight response. They don't "get it" that you are trying to comfort them.

I went through Griffin my Ruppell's developing a phobic disorder, and it took me a good 6-9 months of working with him to get him over it (long story). Even then he is not 'cuddly-tame' the way he was as a baby, and doesn't allow me to pet him. He is no longer 'afraid', although he tells me where his boundaries are. I respect those boundaries, and it has strengthened our bond. He is now confident enough to jump on my back when 'he' feels like it, and will step up briefly for hs favorite treat.

You'll have a lot of work ahead of you (takes a lot of time, it's not overnight) if you want this bird to not be afraid of you. Even then, let's say after he becomes unafraid, you might have to accept that he might only get to be a certain level of tameness, not as much as you're hoping for. It's hard to accept, but it's part of keeping exotic aninmals. The majority of individuals of Parakeet species in general aren't super hands on even when handfed. One who was either raised wild or went wild will be a challenge.

You've gotten some great tips above. I was in your shoes when I choose an "aggressive woman hating" African Grey. I had to decide before hand if I would be satisfied with a hands off/standoffish parrot. Because of that my expectation level was very low since I knew what I was getting. I was prepared to work with her yes, but I was also prepared to also accept whatever relationship we'd get on her terms.

A lot of time, patience and moving at the parrots pace can pay off. If rushed/pushed I really think I would have remained a threat since I wasn't obeying "parrot laws" or respecting her needs/wants.

Monica is dead on - find the comfort zone & interact on the outside of it, reading and playing with toys, maybe just sitting hanging out & talking or watching youtube videos etc. without trying to reach in or encroach - a non-threatening presence. Slowly but surely over time you may find that you are inching closer.

Gracie is very sweet now - although she won't let anyone else in the house touch her they all have great relationships with her & she talks and interacts with them verbally. It's clear she recognizes them & enjoys having them around - she simply doesn't want them to touch her. I don't think that makes their attention any less enjoyable or enriching for her. She says things, whistles makes noises etc that are very distinct to them - things she doesn't say or do with me.

Personally I'm so glad I took all the advice I found & went slow & steady - backed off when necessary - advanced when invited. Patience paid off.

Hey guys, am so touched by all your helpful responses! I've been away for a while and just returned to post an update when I saw all your responses. Thanks so much!

Well, here is the update - so I remember reading somewhere that you can sing to them and praise them a lot when they take food from your hand and I started doing just that this past few days! And I noticed Blu was being more calm and relaxed around me when I did that. He liked the singing - my silly song which my husband hates haha - 'Blu dropped the bottle cap' Lol but it's a hit with Blu. So after a few days of that noticing some evident changes like he normally runs away from my hand approaching his cage top to fix something and he's out ; but now he comes close to my hand to see what I'm doing and stuff like that which was so different! So today with some walnuts on my left hand palm and held out the back of my right hand and Blu stepped up!!!!!! And ate the walnuts. He seemed slightly jittery while he was on me and not fully relaxed but wow!!!! And then he jumped back to his cage. I tried that again a few times and he had one foot on my hand and one on the cage and ate the walnuts. And then he climbed onto my palm once haha and he seemed a bit nervous, he's like trying to eat as fast as he can and jumped back into the cage! But wow wow wow!!! What progress! Am so relieved phew!!

How exciting! Glad you're finding common ground and Blu is getting comfy!

Hope you both have a great weekend

Keep us posted on your progress and don't let any set backs get to ya. It may be up and down for awhile

Thanks! Today he flew and sat on my shoulder while I was leaning towards the window and when I got up slowly and walked slowly towards his cage he sat on my shoulder the whole time till I dropped him off in his cage!