Taming of Willow

Hi there! I am brand new to this site - just joined actually!! I am looking for some tips and I guess reassurance that I'm going about things the right way with my new baby...well she's actually not a baby..she's a 4 year old ringneck..completely untame. Completely afraid of hands, has never been handled, never been hand fed, never been trained.
She is gorgeous and full of personality and I am determined to tame her and gice her a life full of love where she isnt afraid. Her last owners had her for 6 months only and didn't spend any time with her.
So when I got her and brought her home, it was abundantly clear that this was going to be challenging..
She has no problem coming out of her cage and actually spends most of the day out of her cage. She stays on top of her cage on the perch and just climbs all around her cage..occasionally diving down to the floor..shes clipped.
Anyhow, she has no issue with me coming up right beside the cage at all..I spend almost all of my free time standing with her, talking to her..after 2 weeks she took food from my fingers and is getting much lore comfortable doing it..she plays games sometimes too and takes it then drops it over and over before eating it..I know shes playing..
The problem is when I go to touch her..she will not let me. I have held her and just let her bite me and just talk softly telling her its ok and not reacting to the bites...and they hurt!! She does stop biting but shes obviously not comfortable being held. How do I get her comfortable with handling and teach her to step up??

Oh and Ive had her for almost 3 weeks only

Many Asiatic parrots don't like being touched; from what I understand, their feather structure is different. My mustache parakeet is an Asiatic parrot, and he HATES when I touch his feathers. He yells at me and tells me off in mutters and grumbles if I even accidentally brush them. It's REALLY hard for me because I'm such a touchy feely person, but I'm doing my best to respect what he wants. I've worked hard to earn his trust, and I don't want to give him a reason to stop trusting me. If your baby doesn't like to be touched, you would be best off respecting her wishes. Forcing touch upon her when she's made it clear that she doesn't want it will only make her distrust you.

The other thing about the ringneck family is that many seem to have an instinctive fear of hands. Even my boy, who trusts me a great deal, occasionally spooks at the sight of hands. Sometimes the little goofball will be perched on my finger, chewing away at a block I'm holding, and he'll notice my fingers, grumble, and chomp at them. (To which I respond, "Yes, Tashi, I still have fingers.")

One more thing to keep in mind. I've tamed both my boy and feral cats. The most important things I've learned are:

1. Go MUCH more slowly than you think is needed. You won't lose her trust by going too slowly. You WILL lose it by going too quickly.

2. Don't have expectations regarding what you want her to be. Find out who is under all of that fear first, and then work to help her become the best and happiest bird she can be.

Enjoy her! You're in for quite the ride. Welcome to the forums!

Let her come to you, don't react except casual glances when she gets closer or look at you, sit or lie on the floor as much as you can when she is out, use soft sleepy eyes and blink and wink slowly at her when you do make eye contact. These all indicate that you are not a threat and the winking shows trust and friendliness. It worked for me with mine. Eventually he got curious enough that I would make more and more droopy eyed eye contact and winking at him and I could slowly act more natural until he trusted me completely and would fall asleep on my chest inside my clothes.

I don't know if this is true of all ringnecks, but mine liked being stroked with my nose and face, and kissed repeatedly, not my hands. He would beg for physical attention with my face, but obviously wait until you trust each other because your face is more vulnerable to nasty injury even if they don't bite with full strength. When you do get to that point, every single time give a verbal indication before you move towards her, like "tickle tickle", so that she learns that means you are going to lean in and touch her so she won't be startled when you do it and she also will have time to indicate if she doesnt want to be touched before it's too late for your face.

Thank you so much! So when is a good time to begin training her to step up? When will I know she's ready? I want her to trust me so badly as I really want that relationship where she's comfortable enough to sleep on me..another question...she seems to really enjoy when I go up to the cage and talk to her and give her treats..she listens when i say come on Willow..and always goes down to the closer perch..should I not even make eye contact then?

Make friendly eye contact by blinking slowly and winking as I said, when she is looking curiously at you, I just mean when she is nervous or you expect she might not fully trust you yet in a given situation, e.g. she is out of her cage exploring and gets closer to you than usual but not seeking your attention, don't look at her too much, look interested in whatever else you are doing, just so that she doesn't get suspicious about why you are interested in what she's doing and start wondering if you are going to attack. If she is already seeking interaction with you that is brilliant, do respond, it's just best to act disinterested and very calm during moments when a prey animal is at the edge of their current comfort zone with you and you need to pass the next trustworthiness test, and let their curiosity about you bring them to you voluntarily at each leap of faith you want them to make. I never placed mine back in the cage until they were landing on me or walking on me while I stayed still. Until then I let them go back in on their own when hunger or lack of confidence made them decide to, which was short periods of time at first anyway. I had them step on to one of their perches to go back in the cage before I ever tried with my hands or arms. I didn't start approaching them to get them to step up or go on my arm until I knew they would be OK about it because they had been approaching me and staying on me quite comfortably voluntarily.

At least, this is what worked for me with two birds that arrived afraid of everyone in the house, other people might have other methods that work too but letting the bird make progress out of exploration and curiosity without you pushing each step is recommended a lot around here. I also used parrot body language to communicate my own states to the parrot as well as reading the parrot's state, and I think it worked. I remember my ringneck visibly reacting with surprise and curiosity when I first winked at him, as if he was shocked that a human was speaking parrot body language and wanted to be his friend.

Thank you! She seems to like the winking..she winks back every time! I also find that she likes when i make my salad (just spinach and strawberries) and I eat it right next to her cage while shes on top..she always watches very curiously and I always leave a couple leaves undressed that I hold at the side of the bowl to give to her pieces and we eat the salad together! Lol she eats like 3 full leaves of spinach with me..
Question..I was thinking of getting a friend for her that hand tamed so that Willow will come around snd come out of her shell...do you think thats a idea?? Im thinking of a green cheek conure or a Quaker.
Your thoughts please?