Ever given up on a bird?

Hi there everyone!

I recently have given my bonded (breeding!!) pair of lovebirds to an aviary rescue. These people have helped me on my journey and given me invaluable advice, so I trust them and have every confidence they will find an appropriate home for Peaches and TomTom. Problem with them was that they refused to stop breeding and are wild, aggressive and highly cage/nest protective birds. These are things that the previous owner did not disclose to me upon purchase and although I was excited and freaked out by the breeding at first, it became very apparent, very quickly that this was not for me. I have learned sooo much from everyone here - you truly are the best and most knowledgeable bird forum! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that helped me and continue to help each other! 😊

I have decided to keep my single baby from my first clutch ever. Baby Jello has very quickly become my wee little baby! She truly is what I was looking for in the first place - a friendly little bird with a sweet personality (at least until puberty! Hahahahaha!)

So, I ask - has anyone here been forced to make the decision that you were just in waaay over your head with a bird? I am really just curious to learn any personal experiences or stories that anyone is willing to share.

Hey TweeterKat, firstly: HUGS to you! It couldn't have been easy to make the decision to give up you bonded Lovies.

Yes, sometimes we must do what we feel is best for the birds AND for us.

I personally have rehomed a few birds as well. My WB Caique (Tia) was given to my son's Middle School teacher many years ago, and she continues to do marvelous there. Jasper & Gemma (Red Sided Eclectus) were 'given' to a friend of mine who built them their very own bird room/sun room. Then there was Rambo (he earned that name)! He was given to me after I had lost my beloved Quincy. Rambo was a ginormous YN Amazon. He was the perfect gentleman while in quarantine, but once he laid eyes on my female nape, all bets were off - and during that time he earned his name. Several scars later I decided he could NOT (happily) live in this house.

You are doing what you believe best for the birds. I applaud you!!

Yes. I have had a Slender Billed Corella, Cuban Amazon, Grand Ekkie, and some smaller birds over the past couple decades who I had to make a painful decision to give them a home in which they could fit in better.

Though people don't always "readily" admit, you might be surprised that there are many experienced bird people who have made the responsible decision to rehome when it's best.

I wouldn't think of it as "giving up" on them- it's a big decision, one that takes a lot of love, to help them find their forever home- sometimes we are just a stepping stone in that journey.

Yes, I have had to make that difficult decision. Because of my own health issues and once because I knew it was best for that particular parrot. We were moving every 6 to 9 months for my husbands work and the bird would go nuts every time we moved. It breaks your heart but knowing what is best is a personal decision and I will strongly go on record that until someone can walk in your shoes (which can never happen as we are unique) NO ONE has a right to judge.

Wow! Thanks to everyone for sharing. I do look at myself as a stepping stone in their journey and I can only hope that they find a place that allows them the freedom to do what they do best - have babies! LoL. They are good parents, but horrible pets! ��. My hubby thinks I am nuts for just "giving them away for free", but for me it isn't about money. Its about finding a safe, appropriate and PERMANENT home for them. I think they have been shuffled around from owner to owner for a few years and I am sure that has done nothing for their mental wellbeing. I hate seeing them stuck in their cage because I cant trust them not to attack my children for protecting their nest. ��. Thanks for all support and I feel for everyone that has to make the same decision. ❤️

I think it's totally normal to rehome a bird in a situation when neither you nor your bird is happy with each other, and it seems like a permanent thing. It's even cruel IMHO to keep the bird although it can have much better environment in another home. I rehomed only once a rescued IRN (an awesome bird - just not a good fit for me and my flock), and he is so happy in his new home. We are FB friends with his "mom" and she updates me about his life. I also stay in touch with some previous owners of the birds that I adopted.

JerseyWendy said:

Hey TweeterKat, firstly: HUGS to you! It couldn't have been easy to make the decision to give up you bonded Lovies.

Yes, sometimes we must do what we feel is best for the birds AND for us.

I personally have rehomed a few birds as well. My WB Caique (Tia) was given to my son's Middle School teacher many years ago, and she continues to do marvelous there. Jasper & Gemma (Red Sided Eclectus) were 'given' to a friend of mine who built them their very own bird room/sun room. Then there was Rambo (he earned that name)! He was given to me after I had lost my beloved Quincy. Rambo was a ginormous YN Amazon. He was the perfect gentleman while in quarantine, but once he laid eyes on my female nape, all bets were off - and during that time he earned his name. Several scars later I decided he could NOT (happily) live in this house.

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I can also relate, not exactly with a parrot, but rather a bird of prey, a Red-tailed hawk. I took it in as a injured baby....nursed it, taught it, bonded with it....but I knew it belonged back in the wild. I kept it longer than I should have because I bonded very well with the bird, but it was getting the hormones to move on and get a taste of the real world....Hardest thing I ever did, but it was for the best. It went on to meet a mate...then never seen the pair after that. A love story at it's best.

TweeterKat said:

hubby thinks I am nuts for just "giving them away for free", but for me it isn't about money.

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I hear you. As you say, it was about finding the best home.
My $1100 Ekkie went back to her breeder (for free of course). I also found the perfect dream home for my Slender Billed, and and under the circumstances I gave her for FREE. She cost me $2000 as a weaned baby several years earlier. Absolutely beautiful bird. Rare species, fully feathered, no bad habits. The new owner SCORED. It was one of those times when someone DID get something for nothing!

Honestly I think it takes a brave person to recognize that their bird has needs they can't meet and to admit it and take action in the bird's best interest. Your situation is a lot different from someone who bought a budgie on a whim, decided after three days they didn't want it, and sold it to the first offer on Craigslist with no care for where it went--you have their best interests in mind, so don't feel bad. Life is a journey and those little guys were lucky to end up with someone who cares enough to give them to a group who will be able to care for them and find them a better home for the birds they are. Don't feel bad!

TweeterKat, thank you for sharing your story and starting this thread. It's obvious you made the best decision possible for Peaches and TomTom. I'm glad you have Jello, it sounds like you found a happy solution for everyone.

I given up a few over the years. A pair of red rump parakeets cause my kids wouldn't stop scaring them. Passed on a pair of Eclectus cause the male was in season but the female was to young to oblige so I sold them to a guy with an aviary - I had them inside and didn't have the room for a second cage. Now they are happy parents. Also a superb parrot because it hated being inside so I passed it onto a friend who has an aviary and it is as happy as can be. I have an agreement that if this guy fathers any babies that I get first pick of a hand reared baby!
So yes sometimes it is better for the bird to be moved into a better situation but it does tug on the heart strings a bit.

I don't consider it giving up, I consieder it wishing up flocks are families, and families have a. Delicate balance. Sometimes some of us, human and avian, are happier living apart than together. I have sent birds on to other families before, and known it was the best thing. Your choice shows your wisdom, you did not give up, you observed the situation, realized it was not a good fit, and took steps to improve their life and yours, good job, and good luck with your baby

I have done this exactly once, with a macaw that was so insanely attention deprived by the time I got him, that he became dangerous...

He was permanently placed in a human contact not allowed facility, where he has an outdoor flight, and 30 other large macaws to keep him company 24/7.

I could not give him that. It's what he needed.

I dealt with people who had to deal with this situation. Sometimes it's necessary. Other times it's an excuse, but it's a better situation for the bird, because if you've reached the point where you're making excuses to get rid of him, he needs a new home!

Do what's best for the bird.

Birdman, if you've only done it once in all the years of your experience then that's pretty good...
Of course most people don't ever dream that they'd be rehoming the bird at the time they acquire it. We WANT the bird. But as many long term bird owners have experienced, it seems odds are the longer you have birds, and the more birds you have, the greater the chance that rehoming will happen at some point. IMHO, it's naiive to think anyone is above it. Again, not that we ever planned it that way. Then after it happens, I think we tend to be even MORE careful when considering a new addition .

Most of mine were fosters. I just rehabbed and retrained them with no intention of ever keeping them. My birdroom in California was set up for my flock PLUS visitors.

But yeah, 350 birds, only failed that one time... which I think speaks volumes for the rehab and retraining protocols we used. (Some of which I wrote!)

I have had friends though, who had large toos turn on them for seemingly no reason, and no matter what they did, their formerly loving companion would attack them rather aggressively...

Those birds ended up having to be placed with other people. And that just happens sometimes with toos... Not your fault. Not really the birds fault. Some hormonal overload thing that we don't really understand yet. But it's real! And it can be VERY ugly to deal with. A U2 IN ATTACK THEM UNTIL YOU HAVE DRIVEN THEM AWAY MODE is not at all pretty!!! Especially where he's been your best buddy for ten plus years up to the point where something in that little brain tweaks and reverses itself... "I'M NOW YOUR WORST ENEMY!"

Mark, do you find that tends to happen more with mature MALE Toos?

RavensGryf said:

Mark, do you find that tends to happen more with mature MALE Toos?

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Now that you mention it, I think all of the ones I recall were male U2's to be more precise.

I had a goffins. Briefly fostered a triton. But for the most part, I did not keep any toos. Those I worked with down at the rescue. They stayed there. (Though I would have taken an RB2 in a heartbeat. I LOVE those birds.)

I kept primarily conures, macaws, and amazons. My goofy pair bond birds... I was able to keep the negatives to a minimum with these guys.

Am I to expect that Jonesy, my newly adopted goffin's,is gonna change to be a monster?? He is certainly mature < 28 y.o> his previous owner had him for 21 yrs and said he is the most loveable,friendly,playful 'Too he has ever had < he had 7 at one time>

Jonesy will be with me two weeks tomorrow. In that short period I can hold him,scratch his noggin and neck,he will climb my arm to my shoulder and bob and dance his little heart away. He preens himself while being on my shoulder,talk away and babble.

I don't want a monster that'll lunge at me and bite every chance he gets.

Jim