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Old 06-03-2018, 02:48 AM
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Re: Help me and my SUPER clingy blue and gold

First off....Zoey is BEAUTIFUL!! From 1 clingy macaw mom to another, please know this takes time!!

I got my b&g after weaning, and he imprinted on me hardcore. It was to the point that even when he hit a year old, I couldn't walk 2 feet away without him finding a way to me....and heaven forbid I have to pee!! It didn't matter what toys he had, his playstand, what did I gave him to distract him.... he just would not be independent. And anytime he was with me? He had to be on me with some part of me, clothes or skin or limb, in his mouth.

But with the help of this group I've helped him branch out a bit. I learned that I MYSELF created him that way. I coddled him to much and I was all he knew as fun and safe.

So SLOWLY I started doing things in the room with him where he could be close but not on me. Like in the kitchen doing dishes! He say on a chair just out of reach and I gave him a SS bowl to play with... cause nothing is as fun as throwing it on the floor :/ When he was calm I would reach over and let him, or kiss his head, or scratch his chin. Then I'd turn back to my dishes. He was on my on side so he could see my face and hear my voice... by couldn't touch.

It took a MONTH of that before I could sit him on that chair with food and him be fine without reaching for me and fussing. But now he just chills. So I began moving the chair farther. Each time I moved it, it took a few days before he settled again.

MONTHS LATER I can now say that while he will still yell for me if i'm not in the room, and follow me if he can......he now views his chair and stand as 'cool' zones, and even though he will still fuss a bit, and he would rather be ON me....he now knows that to get my attention he needs to relax and be him.

Foraging helped big time too! I would fill a bin with his fav snacks and nuts and we would 'forage' together!! We'd dig in the newspaper stands and much on almonds or dried fruits. Cause of course, if I did it first he had to to! Now I give him a box and he goes crazy digging.

Yes, he still goes out with me, in the car, on walks, to get food....but he rides in the car in a wire crate so he can still see me. He only sit on my forearm when walking. And fun memo...if Zoey is anything like my Rhage.... when she acts up put her in the ground AS LONG AS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO....Rhage hates it! But when he gets grabby, I tell him no and stick him on the ground or on a bench. You can't behave? You can't be on me. End of story.

I thought the best way to volved with my baby was to treat him like a baby. Big mistake. Sure, new things are scary and I didn't want him to feel scared or left out. But all I did was make him more dependent on me.

So with Zoey... know it is gonna be a LONG road. Filed with ups and downs, and unhappy house, and destruction, and testy feelings. You will feel like you are hurting her feelings, or being mean. But know that you are making her stronger by building her confidence to be on her own more.

START SMALL. GO SLOW. BE PERSISTENT. The move was rough. No one likes to move from the place they know, especially with her past. But give her time and try doing things with her that don't require she be ON you. When you read at the park...sit her next to you or on the arm of the bench, or if she's behaving sit her on your lap. Take snacks for her. Find fun things at home to play with together, like foraging or a toy.

I went with what worked best with my guy, so we did the chair and dishes. It also worked great for watching movies or reading! Now he will sit in my lap or toddle the couch. But he isn't glued to me as much.

Please know that she's just a bit stressed and you can work this out! It's going to take time but you both will be stronger at the end. But know extra babying her wont help I made that mistake and I regretted it later.
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