what if you have b00bs?

ChristaNL

Banned
Banned
May 23, 2018
3,559
157
NL= the Netherlands, Europe
Parrots
Sunny a female B&G macaw;
Japie (m) & Appie (f), both are congo african grey;
All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
Sorry to put it so crudely but..

I was reading up on some old posts and found some goldnuggets (and yes, a lot from Birdman666 -as you all predicted when I joined).

This one however - I think- needs "a womans touch"/ variation?
Just let me quote first from http://www.parrotforums.com/macaws/2065-need-help.html

====================


Another basic macaw handling technique, since he is biting your forearm...

The way you hold a macaw can influence their behavior. If he's doing stuff like this, you want to hold your arm low and in toward your body, so that the bird's feet are about at the belly button. Keep your elbow bent so that the bird will have a tougher time climbing up to your shoulder. Keep the bird's body close to your body.

This makes it difficult for him to reach down and nail you. Now, he bumps into you if he tries to reach down and bite you, and that gives you a greater opportunity to prevent it.

He can't exactly grab hold of anything on your chest either, plus, it usually puts them into cuddle mode.

If you are holding him out in space, he is free to run around, climb all over you, and, of course, bite the crap outta you!

You control the macaw. The macaw does not control you. If you let him, he will!!!


===================


Well... that sounds like good, fun and sage advise and all, till you find yourself holding a rather inquisitive (or even worse: pissed off) B&G macaw with her beak at nipple-height. :23:
And we all know: those (sometimes) really stick out!
(aka not exactly bullseye-rings painted around them, but close enough)

So... is there an (macaw- & human-friendly) alternative for the more "chesty ones" here?

I would *really* appreciate it (and preferably before the weather turns cold again, if you know what I am saying ).
 
Last edited:

Kiwibird

Well-known member
Jul 12, 2012
9,539
111
Parrots
1 BFA- Kiwi. Hatch circa 98', forever home with us Dec. 08'
A coconut shell bra? Kevlar vest? Lol.

I don't know of a better technique but I can confirm this is something women want to avoid. During his spring thing one year I was reaching to wipe the top of kiwis cage or something and foolishly had my chest pressed against the cage bars not paying attention to he who was lurking in the cage. You can guess what happened and yes it hurt even through a shirt and bra!
 
Last edited:

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
So sorry I cannot offer advice, something that I've tried and know to be effective! :D:smile006:

Wonder if a large, flat pillow as interface between one's chest and an inquisitive macaw would help??
 

GaleriaGila

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
May 14, 2016
15,045
8,742
Cleveland area
Parrots
The Rickeybird, 38-year-old Patagonian Conure
I'm thinking Scott's onto something. How about a PADDED bra?

I'm serious!

Or, I recall from my jock days that there are "sparring bras" and "turtle bras" that you can purchase. Not comfy... maybe just for getting acquainted or training? TRAINING BRAS!!!! hahahahahahaha
 

Flboy

Well-known member
Dec 28, 2014
12,598
4,101
Greater Orlando area, Florida
Parrots
JoJo, 'Special' GCC, Bongo, Cinnamon GCC(wife's)
Sorry to put it so crudely but..

I was reading up on some old posts and found some goldnuggets (and yes, a lot from Birdman666 -as you all predicted when I joined).

This one however - I think- needs "a womans touch"/ variation?
Just let me quote first from http://www.parrotforums.com/macaws/2065-need-help.html

====================


Another basic macaw handling technique, since he is biting your forearm...

The way you hold a macaw can influence their behavior. If he's doing stuff like this, you want to hold your arm low and in toward your body, so that the bird's feet are about at the belly button. Keep your elbow bent so that the bird will have a tougher time climbing up to your shoulder. Keep the bird's body close to your body.

This makes it difficult for him to reach down and nail you. Now, he bumps into you if he tries to reach down and bite you, and that gives you a greater opportunity to prevent it.

He can't exactly grab hold of anything on your chest either, plus, it usually puts them into cuddle mode.

If you are holding him out in space, he is free to run around, climb all over you, and, of course, bite the crap outta you!

You control the macaw. The macaw does not control you. If you let him, he will!!!


===================


Well... that sounds like good, fun and sage advise and all, till you find yourself holding a rather inquisitive (or even worse: pissed off) B&G macaw with her beak at nipple-height. :23:
And we all know: those (sometimes) really stick out!
(aka not exactly bullseye-rings painted around them, but close enough)

So... is there an (macaw- & human-friendly) alternative for the more "chesty ones" here?

I would *really* appreciate it (and preferably before the weather turns cold again, if you know what I am saying ).
This is one of those things that is rather difficult to visualize! I really think we need some photos!
 

TiredOldMan

Active member
Apr 24, 2018
701
Media
1
239
South Central Texas
Parrots
CAG Hen-Gracie age unknown, U2 Rooster-Anakin 13YO
Sorry to put it so crudely but..

I was reading up on some old posts and found some goldnuggets (and yes, a lot from Birdman666 -as you all predicted when I joined).

This one however - I think- needs "a womans touch"/ variation?
Just let me quote first from http://www.parrotforums.com/macaws/2065-need-help.html

====================


Another basic macaw handling technique, since he is biting your forearm...

The way you hold a macaw can influence their behavior. If he's doing stuff like this, you want to hold your arm low and in toward your body, so that the bird's feet are about at the belly button. Keep your elbow bent so that the bird will have a tougher time climbing up to your shoulder. Keep the bird's body close to your body.

This makes it difficult for him to reach down and nail you. Now, he bumps into you if he tries to reach down and bite you, and that gives you a greater opportunity to prevent it.

He can't exactly grab hold of anything on your chest either, plus, it usually puts them into cuddle mode.

If you are holding him out in space, he is free to run around, climb all over you, and, of course, bite the crap outta you!

You control the macaw. The macaw does not control you. If you let him, he will!!!


===================


Well... that sounds like good, fun and sage advise and all, till you find yourself holding a rather inquisitive (or even worse: pissed off) B&G macaw with her beak at nipple-height. :23:
And we all know: those (sometimes) really stick out!
(aka not exactly bullseye-rings painted around them, but close enough)

So... is there an (macaw- & human-friendly) alternative for the more "chesty ones" here?

I would *really* appreciate it (and preferably before the weather turns cold again, if you know what I am saying ).
This is one of those things that is rather difficult to visualize! I really think we need some photos!

Yes visual aids would be appreciated!

This problem never occurred to me but probably should have.
 
OP
C

ChristaNL

Banned
Banned
May 23, 2018
3,559
157
NL= the Netherlands, Europe
Parrots
Sunny a female B&G macaw;
Japie (m) & Appie (f), both are congo african grey;
All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #7
Hahahaha, you guys are terrible :D (I like you all, no worries)

I am wearing sports-tops most of the time now, so everything is nicely tucked away (and yes Gila: padded are the go-to in wintertime) but... I do not sleep in them (a girl/woman likes to be able to breathe freely once in a while), and since I shower with the parrots, getting dressed up is not a priority early in the morning (esp. in the heatwave we are having atm) ... so sleeping t-shirt and some parrots on the loose, not a great combination!

(if you really need a visual aid after that one... you might need to get your own hormonelevels checked ;) / just teasing of course!)
(ugh, another poor choice or words- I am going to shut up now and wait to be rescued)
 
Last edited:

TiredOldMan

Active member
Apr 24, 2018
701
Media
1
239
South Central Texas
Parrots
CAG Hen-Gracie age unknown, U2 Rooster-Anakin 13YO
God bless your sense of humor. Reminds me of my BOSS. She had to have one hell of a sense of humor to marry me. She also has large "air bags" and "active" anatomy. Even for an old broad(BTW if I want her to know I said that I'll tell her myself). She has put up with my BS for over 30 years.:D
 

wrench13

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Nov 22, 2015
11,383
Media
14
Albums
2
12,567
Isle of Long, NY
Parrots
Yellow Shoulder Amazon, Salty
Sorry, but I would pay good money to see that captured on Youtube. Wrong? Yeah, but....
 

ToMang07

Active member
Jul 14, 2015
1,012
17
Maine, USA
Parrots
Willow the Umbrella Cockatoo
Yes visual aids would be appreciated!

This problem never occurred to me but probably should have.

This is one of those things that is rather difficult to visualize! I really think we need some photos!

200.gif
 
OP
C

ChristaNL

Banned
Banned
May 23, 2018
3,559
157
NL= the Netherlands, Europe
Parrots
Sunny a female B&G macaw;
Japie (m) & Appie (f), both are congo african grey;
All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #11
LOL, not sure if this is "helping"
(auw, auw, me eyes!!)


but seriously... anyone?
(where is this Elusive & Mystical Birdman66something if you need him ;) )
 
Last edited:

Sandy19

Member
Mar 22, 2017
449
8
I don't think there is any way around it. I wouldn't advise handling even the best behaved bird without a bra on. The first thing they're going to think is what is that thing poking out, I think I'll bite it and find out.
 

Anansi

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 18, 2013
22,301
4,211
Somerset,NJ
Parrots
Maya (Female Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Jolly (Male Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Bixby (Male, red-sided eclectus. RIP), Suzie (Male cockatiel. RIP)
Well, this turned out to be a hysterical read! Lol! Yeah, I suppose that advice might be a bit male-centric. It had never really occurred to me until now. But I'd say a bra should be kept on while working with a nippy macaw. One of the coconut shell variety that April had mentioned earlier if at all possible. Hahaha! And while said bra would be impractical in a shower situation, I would suggest that you not shower with a bird that you can't trust almost completely. Just too many vulnerable tidbits waving about to take that risk, whether male or female.
 

Anansi

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 18, 2013
22,301
4,211
Somerset,NJ
Parrots
Maya (Female Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Jolly (Male Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Bixby (Male, red-sided eclectus. RIP), Suzie (Male cockatiel. RIP)

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
ToMang07;745651[IMG said:
https://media.giphy.com/media/TOCstVe1g9xkc/200.gif[/IMG]

I had to hoist meself off the floor from laughing! Well played Tom, well played!
 
OP
C

ChristaNL

Banned
Banned
May 23, 2018
3,559
157
NL= the Netherlands, Europe
Parrots
Sunny a female B&G macaw;
Japie (m) & Appie (f), both are congo african grey;
All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #16
Oh you are not even half a bad as my friends. ;)
(No, I do not mean "try harder"! - you naugthy buggers!)

I have a birthday coming up and they have been threatening me with something like this:


https://www.amazon.com/Handmade-Chainmail-Bikini-Beachwear-Swimsuit/dp/B01N75957D


--
the crazy thing is: showerwise there is *no* problem (she likes getting soaked better than anything), it just when there is 'a something' on (or rather 'in') my t-shirt that sparks the need to remove it.
(She also does not approve of decoration, paterns and stitching around the edges - hemlines are not safe either)
It's like all those stories or parrots trying to preen freckles, remove hairs etc.

If she is pissed off she will lunge at everything in sight - and well, with the macaw on the arm at bellybutton-level...there are some great options staring her in the face so to speak . :p
(bra or no bra)
.
(maybe I should try kevlar after all, coconuts are *so* difficult to get in the right size...)
(and no, placing her on the floor does not work, because of wel... bending over.... )


Awel - we all have issues, I think


[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng"]Muppets - Kermit - Its not easy being green (original) - YouTube[/ame]
 
Last edited:

Flboy

Well-known member
Dec 28, 2014
12,598
4,101
Greater Orlando area, Florida
Parrots
JoJo, 'Special' GCC, Bongo, Cinnamon GCC(wife's)
Oh you are not even half a bad as my friends. ;)
(No, I do not mean "try harder"! - you naugthy buggers!)

I have a birthday coming up and they have been threatening me with something like this:


https://www.amazon.com/Handmade-Chainmail-Bikini-Beachwear-Swimsuit/dp/B01N75957D


--
the crazy thing is: showerwise there is *no* problem (she likes getting soaked better than anything), it just when there is 'a something' on (or rather 'in') my t-shirt that sparks the need to remove it.
(She also does not approve of decoration, paterns and stitching around the edges - hemlines are not safe either)
It's like all those stories or parrots trying to preen freckles, remove hairs etc.

If she is pissed off she will lunge at everything in sight - and well, with the macaw on the arm at bellybutton-level...there are some great options staring her in the face so to speak . :p
(bra or no bra)
.
(maybe I should try kevlar after all, coconuts are *so* difficult to get in the right size...)
(and no, placing her on the floor does not work, because of wel... bending over.... )


Awel - we all have issues, I think


Muppets - Kermit - Its not easy being green (original) - YouTube

Now you have me crying!
 
OP
C

ChristaNL

Banned
Banned
May 23, 2018
3,559
157
NL= the Netherlands, Europe
Parrots
Sunny a female B&G macaw;
Japie (m) & Appie (f), both are congo african grey;
All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #19
Oops, sorry Flboy.

(it's one of my alltime favorites)

=

WillowsTom: lol! I will pass your advice on to them. :D

Oh boy- it's a good thing one of our yearly LARPfestivals was this weekend and we've skipped it because of the heat (at least I hope they have/ and did not go parrot-proof-lingerie shopping without me).
At least chainmail is a lot easier to adjust to size than lace ...

Ugh- I had budgies and a parrot (CAG) well before I had breasts, this really makes me long for "the good olden days".
.
 
Last edited:

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top