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Old 02-13-2020, 07:39 AM
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Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

I have done a lot of research, spent time at rescues, and was very happy and excited, i am 16 boy and i have bonded with a blue and gold macaw. After taking him home, he bit me hard a few times but he was very sweet and funny. He screams for a few minutes whenever I leave his sight, and i love him so much already when ive only gotten him for a few days. I have had a dog before but passed away(got him when i was 2 weeks old so we grew up together), and me caring(emotionally) for the macaw has made me very stressed and has given me so much pressure. I still am not too sure why i am stressed/depressed/anxious but it is because of my love for the bird, somehow caring emotionally of something has made me very stressed and tired.

I have not left my house for a week because of the pressure and all ive done is take care of the bird, do work/study, eat, sleep, cry.
the bird has indirectly given me anxiety, although he loves nibbling and cuddling and i love him so much. I do not know how to describe it but its like putting so much love in a small container you want to explode(in a negative way).

Right now i plan to keep him for a while more to see if the anxiety and depression gets better. but i wanted to ask some questions:
Will rehoming/returning him(cookie - my macaw) hurt him emotionally? will he be scarred for life?
Will he still like me if i visit him sometimes?

Any other advice/experiences would be appreciated
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Old 02-13-2020, 08:01 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

Josh, a macaw is a HUGE responsibility for a 16 yr old. Aside from the time every day that you will need to spend with him, out of the cage (which is going to eventually be less and less as you grow up, attend college, have a social life, meet and date a GF, hold a job), the financial cost for macaw ownership is huge compared to even a amazon or other medium size parrot. Big birds have big $$$ costs. Food and toys, both which need to be replaced, toys especially, can run well over $100 USD a month. WHo is paying for those? If its you, then factor in holding a part time job on top of school.

Generally the experienced people here do not recommend teen agers or college students to get a parrot because of the above. Even tho you nhave bonded a it with Cookie, I suggest you return him to the shelter, and let him have a long term home with people who would be better equipped to raise him. The longer you keep him, the more he will be affected by a change in his life.

This may seem harsh, but it will be for the best of the macaw. Once you graduate college, and have your career in sight, thats the time to think about taking on the parronting of a large parrot like a macaw.
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Old 02-13-2020, 08:11 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

I do not understand why a Rescue would release any Parrot to a 16 year old, let alone a Macaw. Not because of your age, but as stated above, the extensive costs involve with a Macaw! The cost list for a single year is in the thousands of dollars.

Kindly return the Macaw today. It will be better for everyone!
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Old 02-13-2020, 08:22 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

I am so sorry, but the above advice is your best direction!
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:38 PM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

No amount of reading and research can truly prepare you for what a huge commitment a macaw is, not only financially but physically and emotionally. Nobody will think badly of you if you were to return Cookie to the shelter where they have all the resources to care for him. I’m sure you want what’s best for him, they certainly are magnificent and beautiful birds but they are a huge responsibility to care for properly.
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Old 02-13-2020, 03:26 PM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

I feel your stress. You can return flock calls. But the parrot has to be able to entertain himself with chewing, foraging, puzzles, ECT. Even having an outdoor avairy can be helpful.

Obviously you love parrots. And you are wise to reach out. You know you can't go on like this. You wouldn't adopt a baby at this time in your life, and that's what this is like.

I too think rehoming would be wise. And yes he will be ok emotionally in a home that priorities a parrots well being, understand the time, money, noise, destruction and all that comes with a parrot.

To keep him you would need the support of your family, a way to keep the parrots mind busy, a wsy to get the parrot a lot of excerise, a lot of social time.

If you rehome, you are still a good person, you can still have parrots in your future.
Much love to you.
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:04 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

Quote: Originally Posted by wrench13 View Post
Josh, a macaw is a HUGE responsibility for a 16 yr old. Aside from the time every day that you will need to spend with him, out of the cage (which is going to eventually be less and less as you grow up, attend college, have a social life, meet and date a GF, hold a job), the financial cost for macaw ownership is huge compared to even a amazon or other medium size parrot. Big birds have big $$$ costs. Food and toys, both which need to be replaced, toys especially, can run well over $100 USD a month. WHo is paying for those? If its you, then factor in holding a part time job on top of school.

Generally the experienced people here do not recommend teen agers or college students to get a parrot because of the above. Even tho you nhave bonded a it with Cookie, I suggest you return him to the shelter, and let him have a long term home with people who would be better equipped to raise him. The longer you keep him, the more he will be affected by a change in his life.

This may seem harsh, but it will be for the best of the macaw. Once you graduate college, and have your career in sight, thats the time to think about taking on the parronting of a large parrot like a macaw.
Thanks, financially I am actually doing good. My parents can provide plenty of money for the bird, giving time for the bird is actually no problem. Itís the emotional stress I have - right now the same vicious cycle of thoughts are running through my head, itís mainly deciding whether I should take care of him and love him for 70 years but have my heart broken and depressed when he passes, or give him to someone else now but I will also have my heart broken but less. Believe it or not but the bird is doing good, itís me thatís having trouble. Again I still need to think about it.
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:17 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

I saw this thread yesterday and I've been thinking about it a bit.

It does seem to me that your anxiety response has been very intense. I respect and would listen to the above advice on returning the bird to the shelter, it isn't often advice that is given here. I think you should return your macaw.

After that I, however, do feel there are other issues that you might want to be thinking about. I'm wondering whether you have problems with anxiety more generally? I'm not suggesting this is the right place to discuss them, but perhaps you need to do a bit of work on managing and reducing this anxiety? Understanding the responsibility of bringing a bird into your life is excellent, but I don't think it should have weighed on you as much as it did. People care for birds beautifully and still feel able to go to work and go out and leave the house.

If this is a one off, well maybe that tells you that actually, you aren't ready for a bird yet because you understand the responsibility, but haven't developed a way to manage that in an effective way yet. If that is the case you're 16 there's no rush! If this isn't a one off, or you've had similar experiences before then maybe think about looking at your own wellbeing and mental health. There are plenty of online sources of support and also no doubt face-to-face help too you and your parents could look at. I wish you all the best
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:15 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

Quote: Originally Posted by Jottlebot View Post
I saw this thread yesterday and I've been thinking about it a bit.

It does seem to me that your anxiety response has been very intense. I respect and would listen to the above advice on returning the bird to the shelter, it isn't often advice that is given here. I think you should return your macaw.

After that I, however, do feel there are other issues that you might want to be thinking about. I'm wondering whether you have problems with anxiety more generally? I'm not suggesting this is the right place to discuss them, but perhaps you need to do a bit of work on managing and reducing this anxiety? Understanding the responsibility of bringing a bird into your life is excellent, but I don't think it should have weighed on you as much as it did. People care for birds beautifully and still feel able to go to work and go out and leave the house.

If this is a one off, well maybe that tells you that actually, you aren't ready for a bird yet because you understand the responsibility, but haven't developed a way to manage that in an effective way yet. If that is the case you're 16 there's no rush! If this isn't a one off, or you've had similar experiences before then maybe think about looking at your own wellbeing and mental health. There are plenty of online sources of support and also no doubt face-to-face help too you and your parents could look at. I wish you all the best
Yes, what you said is pretty much what Iíve been going through my head. Iíll summarise things about myself, my parents are financially stable and can provide money for the bird. I have ptsd and stress more than foreigners, I am from Hong Kong, and I am a student, you can probably figure out the rest. Itís only been a week, but Iíve grown quite attached to the bird, it seems like he likes me too, he loves scratches and loves dibbling and playing with my fingers with his weird leathery tongue. My dog past away a year ago and it was very depressing, I am thinking about after 70 years I am going to have to deal with this again and I emotionally donít want to go through it again- this is one of the reasons I want to regime him. But on the opposite side the previous owner was a horrible owner, he came to my house to remove a chain he put in the bird, once the bird saw him he flew instantly and was extremely stressed. Since he has bonded to me, if I return him will he miss me - thinking about him missing me hurts me so much, I have cried and am so depressed and anxious - even though itís only been a week i already know I will miss him so much. Iíve been going back and forth with the rehoming or not rehoming. Most of the advice here are on financial perspectives and donít really help the situation. And btw, I am not the only one caring for the bird, I was the one who wanted to rescue him but My whole family is caring for him too.
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:39 AM
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Re: Emotional advice for me, questions rerding this

Please read back what you have stated...
You are rolling within a fear blanket, adding /creating narratives of 'what might happen.' Thus blinding you from other realities...

You need to change your Vantage Point!
Your current vantage point is self-defeating and destructive.

If you cannot break this trend by yourself, you should consider find support services.

Parrots and especially Macaws are highly emotional creatures that also deeply tie into our emotions... It is important for their good health that you are healthy.
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Last edited by SailBoat; 02-14-2020 at 09:43 AM.
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