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Old 04-06-2021, 09:49 AM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

That makes me feel so much better about posting - thank you!! I would love to share more photos. Is it best for me to upload the same way I did in a previous post? I saw it had to be resized, but if someone can direct me to the instructions on posting pics that are viewable/correct size, I will be happy to do it correctly in the future. In the meantime I've shared another pic in the only way I can figure out how!!

Update as of 4/6:

(This is a longish post full of conversations and my emotions - TL;DR - No real updates on Ruby, but now I know why my aunt wouldn't commit to Blu getting a new home.)

I went to visit Ruby (and Blu) yesterday. I messaged my aunt to make sure she was cool with the visit (she has never told me no, but I know that I wouldn't necessarily want someone showing up at my house without touching base first). I'm going to share our text interactions:

Me: Okay for me to visit Ruby today around 4:30?

Aunt: That would be great. Cousin was there with her all night last night and this morning. We left her out, so if you can just put her away when you leave that would be great.


(My thought - who would put her away if I hadn't been able to come over? You are just going to leave her free reign of the house for hours and hours? Not safe for her, and guaranteed destruction to something in the house).

So I go for me visit, and I can tell that her normal routine has been disrupted. She wasn't cranky or anything, but she was a different in her reactions to things and had clearly been given LOTS of treats as she wasn't interested in working very hard for them. (I've been using the treats I bring (raw parrot safe veggies and fruit and unsalted nuts). I use them to encourage her allowing me to touch her cage, and toys, and to access her food and water etc. Building trust mostly, and then I try at least once to use them to get her to let my hand get closer to her so that we can eventually get to the point that she will step up for me).

Anyhow, it was a sweet visit, and she did some ornery things, such as break and steal a toy from Blu's cage and carry it to hers, and then she proceeded to help herself to the shelled peanuts someone (cough cough - Cousin) left open next to her cage. That was an adventure getting her to give up that open bag!!

She only did one test lunge at me, which is progress as she usually test lunges at me several times a visit. Today it was only once, she must be getting tired of my non reaction with a calm "No, no lunging" admonishment.

So, I get her (and Blu) fresh food and water and put them away. Even though Cousin had visited overnight, she didn't find the need to provide fresh water, and the levels were so low they probably hadn't been changed since I was there on Saturday - .

So I get home and here is the text we shared:

Aunt: How did it go?

Me: Good, I could tell her normal routine was disrupted, but that's all part of life. Also, someone left the bag of peanuts opened and she helped herself a bit. Also she got to try raw green beans and liked them, so did Blu. I also brought her a nana. I gave them fresh food and water. Did Cousin happen to find my conure's paperwork?

Aunt: Awesome. I forgot to ask her. She has been out of her cage a long time and I'll be home in the morning to let her back out.

Me: Perfect. Did you and Cousin talk about her options for Ruby?

Aunt: A little, yes. Cousin was shocked that you would foster Ruby. She tried to trim Blu today. She thinks he hates her now haha.

Me: She was shocked? Does she think she will contact the breeder to get her rehomed/resold? I am on a parrot forum, and one of the members felt that Camelot Macaws are in high demand, so her breeder can probably get her a new forever home to help cousin recoup some of her investment.

Aunt: I didn't mention that option yet.

Me: Fair enough. I just want what's best for Ruby. I love working with Ruby, she is smart and her cool factor is 1000% and while I don't have a desire for another pet, especially one that is high maintenance, I would take her for you to give her a home and a more fulfilling life. Another thing, if Blu stays with you, whatever you decide for Ruby, he will need EVEN MORE attention and interaction as he and Ruby are pals and he will be lonely when she is gone.

Aunt: Yes, we did talk about that and I will have to talk to Husband about it. IIf I could keep him I would spoil him, but if he needs to stay with Ruby I would let him, whatever is best for him.

Me: Well, not necessarily HAVE to stay with Ruby, but he would have to go with you to the Lake house, otherwise he will become lonely and depressed and possibly start self harming.

Aunt: Yes, he would have a house at the cabin.


That was the end of our conversation. Sigh. Still no progress. If I'm going to be asked to take Ruby, then I want to just take her!! Selfishly I don't want to drive 45 mins almost every day to see her, and I want to know if it's worth me investing in a perch which I feel would be extremely helpful in her training. (The ones I have for my conures won't hold Ruby).



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Birdsitting to ownership-ruby-shoe.jpg   Birdsitting to ownership-ruby-green-bean.jpg  

Last edited by Scott; 04-06-2021 at 12:12 PM. Reason: enlarged for viewing pleasure
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 04-06-2021, 12:34 PM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

No worries about image size! Technique I use is click on thumbnail as posted to open in new tab. Right click enlarged image (in new tab) and click "copy image address." Return to edit the post, select "go advanced," click on yellow square with mountain silhouette. This is found in grey control panel above dialog box, below and to right of smiley drop-down menu. New box opens to paste image data, click "OK," and save changes. Exact technique will vary by browser, mostly in the area of how you copy image information.

Seems your aunt is master of treadmill discussions, going nowhere at varied speeds! You've identified some benevolent neglect issues and received bland assurances of correction. Now that she knows camelot macaws are in demand, might alter her perception of end game. Not sure if she'll simply "give" you Ruby when other potentially attractive alternatives exist. Or perhaps money really isn't the issue, more about control?
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Old 04-06-2021, 01:19 PM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

makes me sick to my stomach, their attitude and lack of care for these birds
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Old 04-06-2021, 07:34 PM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

Thank you for the pics! She is so beautiful it’s ridiculous. The colors on some species of parrots really leave me awestruck. Like how are they even real??

Now I’m sure you said you also have birds or your own.....how about some pictures of them too???


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Old 04-06-2021, 10:38 PM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

Blu and Ruby are both gorgeous! I hope the best possible solution for these birds is/are found!
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 04-07-2021, 09:55 AM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

Thank you all for responding. I, too, am sick and heartbroken over their behavior. My son and I went over for a visit yesterday. Blu was acting very weird, normally he flies right to me. My aunt said that he hadn't flown to her all day and usually he does. I don't know if he's hormonal, or if he's still upset from the "trimming" session my cousin did on him. He did eventually fly to me and my son, so that made me feel better.

My aunt began telling me some things she did with Ruby to provide more interaction, and how Ruby "beaked" her - again gently, but it was a warning. Which, IMO, is a good thing as my aunt's fear of the unknown made her greatly "fear the beak". The contact help calm some of my aunt's fear.

Based on her comments I asked her if she had now reconsidered rehoming Ruby, that maybe my cousin had committed to coming and spending more time with Ruby, and my aunt was making more effort to get Ruby to trust her.

She said - no, my cousin reaffirmed she wouldn't be spending time at my aunt's as her bedroom is "too hot" in the summer. (WTH???) They have central air and live in a VERY nice, fairly new construction, home.

I said, okay - well, it seems my cousin isn't interested in making any actual decisions regarding Ruby (maybe I'm being too pushy - I tend to be about action when I'm asked to get involved in things). My aunt agreed, and I said - well of course she isn't interested in making a decision - she is in zero pain over this.

My aunt: Zero pain, what do you mean?

Me: She has no responsibilities tied to Ruby. It's like a foster home situation where the parent has visitation rights. She doesn't follow a visitation schedule, meanwhile you are doing the feedings, and cage cleanings, and making arrangements for someone else to feed her when you are at the Cabin. She just gets to pop in whenever she feels, get Ruby all emotional, get the cuddles and affection from her, then swoop right back out for an unknown amount of time. It would be different if she was stopping in here at least daily for a visit and do some cage maintenance, but she's not, you are.

My aunt: Well, I think she feels some guilt.

Me: No, she doesn't. Based on the comments she made to me in front of you on my first visit, she has justified her absence to herself. The only thing she's upset about is the money she has invested that she would like to get back. Which is fine, have her work with her breeder to resell/rehome Ruby and get some of that back while finding Ruby a good forever home. As long as you are doing the work, she doesn't feel any pain and gets only the good things. That's not fair to you, and that's not fair to Ruby.

She was silent but nodded her head. Then she needed to leave to attend her stepdaughter's birthday party. (Did I mention the stepdaughter and her boyfriend live with her, but both hate Ruby and consider her a nuisance?)

So then my son and I spent a little more time with both birds and then put them away. When I put Ruby away she threw a tantrum, lunging at my fingers and acting like she wanted to bite me. It was the worst I've seen from her thus far. I'm sure I'm probably putting human emotions on a bird that aren't accurate, but I imagine she is frustrated that "mommy" hadn't been to visit, and when I put her away she realized that meant "mommy" wasn't going to visit, thus the tantrum. Or, she was just having a bad day - one of the two.

On my drive home my aunt texted me:

Aunt: So I called cousin and had a good chat. I have the answers you are looking for. Now I will just have to have a chat with husband and we will have all of our answers.

Me: Okay, I know you are at the birthday party, so just let me know!

Aunt: Yep!!


So now I wait. I'm going to blame my Taurus nature, but I want her to be the one to initiate the communication. She knows I am unable to go for a visit tonight, but that I was thinking about visiting Thursday. While I hate the idea of not giving Ruby some interaction, I think I'm going to refrain from visiting until she reaches out again.

On a more positive note, I'd love to share pics of my conures!! I wasn't sure it was in bad form to share their pics since we are on a Macaw board, but since I was asked....I'll share away!! Most of my photos of them include me or my kids - I wasn't sure on forum rules on having humans in photos. Several of my photo's were too large to send from my phone, I really have to find a photo hosting site!!



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Last edited by Bekki; 04-07-2021 at 09:57 AM.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 04-07-2021, 03:45 PM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

Well done! And yes, make your aunt initiate contact.

Your sunnies are gorgeous. And this place is pretty relaxed and friendly. Pictures of humans are allowed, birds in the “wrong” forum....just be nice and keep politics and religion out of your posts and you’ll be fine. Even if your interactions with Ruby come to an end, you and your suns should stick around with us!


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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 04-07-2021, 03:46 PM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

Oh and get the tapatalk app for your phone. Makes picture posting dead simple.


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Old 04-08-2021, 12:26 AM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

I'm loving your insight and ability to hone in on operative issues, or to be blunt, cut through the crap with aunt and cousin! But as all know the unwitting pawns of Ruby and Blu deserve clarity and decisive actions.

Did Ruby observe your interactions with Aunt? Parrots pick up body language, heated dialog of strife, and often return the favor with aggression.

Are you lining up for the big reveal with "I have the answers you are looking for. Now I will just have to have a chat with husband and we will have all of our answers."

Beautiful suns, they are quite welcome! No problems with birds + people, only compromising situations with endangerment/abuse/graphic content.
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Old 04-08-2021, 08:33 AM
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Re: Birdsitting to ownership

Well, I didn't visit yesterday, and didn't text. Didn't hear anything from my aunt. This morning I awoke to a text that was a photo of my aunt with my Conures, back when they lived with her.

Me: Awww, that's a good pic.

Aunt: Thanks, I love it. I miss them but I know they have a great home and lots of love. So cousin is home now.

Me: Home to live or home for a visit? Ask her to find the conure's paperwork.

Then I sent a cute video of some macaws dancing with the label #goalsforRuby.

I have received no response. To be fair, she is probably working. I'm not planning to visit again unless invited/asked. I would think she would want to lay out what path they have determined to go down, but she isn't voluntarily sharing anything yet.

On a more positive note, I downloaded the app that I was suggested - it's having network issues right now, but hopefully I can start using it.

In the mean time, here are more of my babies (including my oldest baby, my daughter)....







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