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-   -   Attitudes and responses to other members. (http://www.parrotforums.com/new-members-welcome/31877-attitudes-responses-other-members.html)

Mayden 05-30-2013 06:31 PM

Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Okay, this might seem a bit naggy and horrificly long/repetitive but I'd appreciate people reading and maybe taking it on board too.

This is basically a post about "attacking" others on the forum for actions they've done or thought about doing regarding their fids. There's many examples that have gone round in my time of being on the forum and this is so far my least 'aggressive' forum that I've been on, but it still occurs. So this here is a little lesson in forum etiquette, manners and how to successfully teach someone a lesson about bird care WITHOUT scaring them off - encouraging them to come back for more help if they need it.

I think it's really important to take the approach of "the damage is done, so lets make sure the lesson is learnt to avoid it happening again".

The idea of blaming someone for something they have done regarding their fid because of ignorance is absurd. I appreciate that everyone should read up the best they can before getting a parrot but some things we just have to learn by asking questions or by our own mistakes. The best way we can help people out is for them to ask questions and for us to respond in the best way we can and encourage them to come back if they still don't understand or have more questions - surely this is the best thing for the fid?

I've been on the recieving end from said attackers in the past after rescuing a ducorps cockatoo and housing him in a parrot cage that was (undoubtly) too small for such a large too, but large enough for him to stretch and clamber around ect. The cockatoo was being housed in a travel cage 24/7 at the time, which as most of you know is not adequate. His tail feathers were barbed and matted from the water and bars on the cage, he couldn't stretch except for a wing at a time that got stuck through the bars so in my opinon, getting him out of there in ANY cage as an upgrade was better than leaving him to be sold off to some idiot in said travel cage.

I asked on a forum for help - he was my first 'parrot' (having owned budgie's before) and I wanted to make sure I was doing right by him in every way possible. I posted pictures of him in his cage with his new toys, eating etc and ALL I got back were people attacking me about the size of his cage. Seemingly to completely ignore the story (I was 18, had just been given a sizeable sum of money from my mother and spent it ALL getting him out of there and in that cage with appropriate toys etc) but no, their focus wasn't on me getting him out, it was his cage.

(Link to the cage if anyone is interested - currently Merlin's cage now - Montana Brazil)
Here's a picture of him in it! (Before a ton of toys were added and perches changed to natural wood with bark he can strip etc.:))
https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.n..._6577711_n.jpg

So instead of getting help, I was attacked, made to feel I'd done a horrible thing, ended up in tears and regretting getting him and it temporarily put me off forums or even speaking about him. I only wanted to know if I was going about bonding with him etc, correctly and if anyone could identify which cockatoo he actually was. Instead I was attacked and will never touch that forum again - I learnt nothing, other than people can be incredibly nasty. I appreciate that you may be anxious that a bird is at risk by someones actions but attacking and being aggressive is NOT the way to get somebody to learn what they have done is wrong.

Anyway; moral of my story is - please, PLEASE, do not attack anyone on this forum, berate them, put them down for their actions. They're asking for HELP to improve their birds lives and what is done is done, the best thing you can do for all involved is to offer encouraging words and help them to now do what is best. You cannot change the past, but you can permanently damage the future if you go in all guns blazing. The person will feel attacked by a community and will leave with no answers, just more anxiety and the welfare of their fid is then at stake. Is that really our goal? No, it's not.

I know some do it because they get on their high horse regarding their knowledge on birds. I know some do it out of panic and rush to get their message across. Some just don't realise they're being aggressive or think it's necessary to get their message across. It isn't.

If you think back to your best teachers in life, I'm sure it'll be the ones who took the time to sit with you, explain things thoroughly, point out your mistakes and NOT get angry with you for them, but explain how to go about it better next time.

Please guys, just take into consideration that we are human, we make mistakes and we're all here trying to learn. So let's get rid of all that nastyness, intended or not and encourage others to learn - and come back to learn some more!

:)

BillsBirds 05-30-2013 09:42 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Well put, Mayden!

MissTaz 05-30-2013 10:12 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Thank you so much! I feel so bad when people snap at people who are here to learn. Thank you for your wise words and personal experiences! Cheers!

Triplemoon 05-30-2013 10:12 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I fully agree. I see it happen on all kinds of forums, groups, and the such.

Mayden 05-31-2013 02:49 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by grey782163 (Post 269377)
Bear in mind that tone and inflection, 2 important keys to conversation, are not present in written communication. These have to be inferred by the reader, and the reader's mood can color that inference. So a simple, straightforward response can be interpreted as belittling, scolding, or berating depending on the reader's mood while at the same time can be interpreted as a lighthearted jab by another reader. If there is ever a question as to what the responder meant or how they said it, there is always the option of a PM for clarification.

That's why I think smilies are actually so important in text posts on forum!

Because:

"You really shouldn't be doing that! :p"
is a lot different from
"You really shouldn't be doing that. :mad:"
and really helps to convey a message better. That's why at the end of my text post I put a smiley - and also as the thread icon too as this was not a "I'm really annoyed with everyone" post, more of a "hey guys, lets consider this...!" but I appreciate too that not everybody is a 'smiley' type person. ;)

I do understand what you're saying and I agree, it can often be taken one way when you meant another which is why I think CLEAR, ENCOURAGING messages are important, to further stress that you're not here to scold, but to teach :) Also why I won't be pulling people up on it unless it's blatantly obviously they're being nasty and need to wind their necks in because sometimes it is just miscommunication/understanding that's the problem and nothings wrong with the posts at all.

&thanks all, like I said, I don't see it too much on this forum and more often than not I think it's just a case of people not thinking their responses through properly, jumping the gun and causing the original poster stress. Having experienced it myself, like I said, it's really really horrible. So I just want others to appreciate that actions have consequences and so one blip of lashing out at someone can pretty much ruin their relationship with helpful forums which they and their fid might need.

I rehomed my 'too (which was the plan from the beginning) but I did it on my own with no help or guidance from the forum. Literally spent the day in tears doubting myself over and over because of things they said whilst trying to justify that his cage was adequate for his brief time with me. I was a great foster home for him, he had a blast whilst staying with me and was then moved on to an even better home for him. I did the right thing - I realise that now but at the time all I felt was angry, hurt and so so horrid about myself. I needed help and encouragement, not nasty people berating my every step.

JerseyWendy 05-31-2013 08:50 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
BEAUTIFULLY said, Mayden!!!!

THANK YOU for reminding us what this is all about! :)

We want to help folks, not scare them off or shy them away.

Friendly advice will most definitely go much further than hurtful remarks. :)

Thanks again!!

Kalidasa 05-31-2013 09:17 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
:confused::mad::eek::(:(^^its done exactly that for me. (Scare off) bye

JerseyWendy 05-31-2013 09:36 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalidasa (Post 269508)
^^its done exactly that for me. (Scare off) bye

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Good one, Kalidasa!!! :D

ruffledfeathers 05-31-2013 11:57 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
i think that is why i have learned to overuse smileys in written correspondence. sometimes it IS hard to tell exactly how something was intended.

and there are also so many different opinions on things---cover or not cover, clip or not clip--and they vary from person to person, situation to situation. there is no absolute right or wrong, so no point arguing or offending someone who feels differently for their own reasons.

JerseyWendy 05-31-2013 05:23 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalidasa (Post 269508)
:confused::mad::eek::(:(^^its done exactly that for me. (Scare off) bye

Kalidasa, I now understand. I'm sorry!!! Please don't leave!!!

I thought you cracked a funny at me, I really did. :(

Mayden 05-31-2013 06:10 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ruffledfeathers (Post 269558)
i think that is why i have learned to overuse smileys in written correspondence. sometimes it IS hard to tell exactly how something was intended.

and there are also so many different opinions on things---cover or not cover, clip or not clip--and they vary from person to person, situation to situation. there is no absolute right or wrong, so no point arguing or offending someone who feels differently for their own reasons.

I disagree with clipping in most cases, but I try and put both sides of the coin across to help owners make more informed decisions about things. I'd rather the person had both pros and cons for each and then we can help tailor their decision for their own fids. I think it's a nice system to have together. Work it all out, then tailor it for a great fit! (That applies to everything by the way, not just clippings :))

But thanks again; nice to know my messages arn't going unnoticed. :) Like I said before, not a criticism of the forum, just a friendly reminder. :cool:

henpecked 05-31-2013 07:00 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Thank you mayden, I joined to help out a few birdies. That's my only motive. I'm thankful there's a forum like this that people can turn to for help with their bird. I've noticed you try and help and aren't judgmental , hope i can do the same. Thanks again for keeping the bird's best interest at heart. Something we all should strive for.

Birdlover11 05-31-2013 10:03 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Thank you SO much for this ! This is a great forum and all, but your right, these things do happen. It's always great to hear from the other end, than the accusing.

mtdoramike 06-01-2013 01:54 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JerseyWendy (Post 269652)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalidasa (Post 269508)
:confused::mad::eek::(:(^^its done exactly that for me. (Scare off) bye

Kalidasa, I now understand. I'm sorry!!! Please don't leave!!!

I thought you cracked a funny at me, I really did. :(

It seems someone took something the wrong way:confused:

critterman 06-01-2013 03:03 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Well put Mayden. I also was attacked here on this forum by a couple of people when I had to rehome my 2 greys for serious health issues. I had them for 10 years and they were sisters. It broke my heart to give them away but I had no choice. I had just had my second heart attack and needed emergency bypass and open heart surgery. I had one week to rehome them before going into the hospital for surgery. I had no one who would be willing to care for them while I was in the hospital and rehab. I tried my best to keep them to no avail. Rehome was the only alternative for me. I did it and knew they would be better off than being alone in my home for the 3 months I was in the hospital for surgery and rehab with someone only coming in once a day or so to feed them and change their cages and clean them. I was attacked by a few here who mad me feel like a bad person and a bad bird owner. Not true. I did leave this forum for awhile but recently came back. I must be honest though I am reluctant to tell too much here as I am still worried that others will again condemn me especially since when I get better I got another smaller easier to care for parrot. I don't think anyone has the right to attack or belittle or beat another person down for any reason. I hope this will stop in this forum and remember we are here to offer help not condemnation to others. Again Mayden thanks........it was a well needed topic that should be discussed. Thanks to you for having the courage to do so.

Mayden 06-01-2013 06:34 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by critterman (Post 269976)
Well put Mayden. I also was attacked here on this forum by a couple of people when I had to rehome my 2 greys for serious health issues. I had them for 10 years and they were sisters. It broke my heart to give them away but I had no choice. I had just had my second heart attack and needed emergency bypass and open heart surgery. I had one week to rehome them before going into the hospital for surgery. I had no one who would be willing to care for them while I was in the hospital and rehab. I tried my best to keep them to no avail. Rehome was the only alternative for me. I did it and knew they would be better off than being alone in my home for the 3 months I was in the hospital for surgery and rehab with someone only coming in once a day or so to feed them and change their cages and clean them. I was attacked by a few here who mad me feel like a bad person and a bad bird owner. Not true. I did leave this forum for awhile but recently came back. I must be honest though I am reluctant to tell too much here as I am still worried that others will again condemn me especially since when I get better I got another smaller easier to care for parrot. I don't think anyone has the right to attack or belittle or beat another person down for any reason. I hope this will stop in this forum and remember we are here to offer help not condemnation to others. Again Mayden thanks........it was a well needed topic that should be discussed. Thanks to you for having the courage to do so.

You're welcome. Didn't another forum member take your two greys or am I confusing two other sister greys? (one was slightly plucked?... the name Grace springs to mind?)

I'm glad you're back and hopefully things will go a little smoother this time. What's happened has happened and hopefully you're in a better position to care for you new guy now. I hope that what happened didn't cause you too much stress, the horror of that whilst suffering with a heart condition is just dreadful. (I hope that is all better too now!) It's generally a case of "damned if I do, damned if I don't" as people would probably have condemned you for trying to keep the fids with them getting minimal attention for months etc, suggesting rehoming them, which could have caused a lot of upset for you and your fids too (as did rehoming I imagine!). I think each comment should be taken with a pinch of salt and focus on the positive ones - and hopefully each ends up being a positive one anyway! ;)

chippy 06-01-2013 08:04 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I agree... I think if people are coming and asking, then they are trying to learn and do the best for their birds.

kanundra 06-02-2013 10:14 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I remember joining my first Koi Forum in 2008 being a new owner and wanting to do what was best for my fish. Boy, I soon learned... the guy was literally shouting at me through text. Which was kinda scary, however he did pm me the next morning and apologize. We actually became pretty close friends, (although he's since passed away) and I'm very grateful for the time and help he gave me.

But, I totally understand what you're saying. It's very easy to 'see' only pictures and get 'some' of the info and judge people. As care givers. Be it to Koi or a Fid (as I'm just learning) we all need to strive to help the person and not judge the circumstances. Because you don't always get that full picture, It takes too long to type up, when someone is in full blown panic mode thinking their pet is going to die!

I help moderate one of the best Koi Forums now, and I've learned all that I can about my fish to keep them in tip top shape. I would like to think I'll eventually learn everything there is about my Bobby, and our soon to be rescue Sparky :) But it takes time. And we all need a little helping hand now and then.

:) Thank you to everyone here. I look forward to spending many years chatting to you about our pets.

ConureCrazy 06-02-2013 11:32 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Thank you for the explaining. :) This forum is to teach new and/or questioning owners, and to learn ourselves. I'll admit, when I look back at the first month owning Bella and Zora without this forum, I want to cringe. They were taken care of, of course, proper diet, housing, out time, you know, but my understanding of their limits, body language, and behavior, was completely wrong. Without all of you guys I wouldn't have known what to do. :) Thanks.

WannaBeAParrot 06-02-2013 01:39 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Excellent Mayden.
Sometimes some of the posts ignite that protective parenting instinct which can make a person react and then assess the manner of reaction later.

The best thing is stay focused on the fid. It's all about the fid and how we can help. There's nothing wrong with trying to help a person set on bringing home a bird see that maybe they are not ready to be a parront, but humbly, gently and in a coaching way so that maybe they'll stick with the forum and learn before they bring that birdie home.

azdesertrhino 06-02-2013 07:10 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Excellent thread.

Even though the entire focus is on the care and protection of the FID, what is meant as advice can be easily construed as criticism.

I find this in e-mails a lot. As someone mentioned previously, some of the most important parts of conversation are missing on forums or e-mails.

Facial expression, body language, speech inflection are all missing in written text.

Thanks for posting this although I'VE never over reacted myself, for sure!!:rolleyes::54::54::54::54::54::54:

Mayden 06-06-2013 12:47 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Thought I'd just update my opening piece with a picture of 'Mister' in his cage. It's one of the very few pictures I've got of him and I have it as a little reminder that I did something awesome for a very special, beautiful birdy. :)

As I mentioned in the edit, that pic was taken before we showered him with more toys and swapped out his dowel perch for perches that are 'natural' with stripaway bark to keep his feet in better shape and a little less bored with the beak! This was within his first hour home with me. :)

HusseinBerjaoui 07-03-2013 03:05 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
That's exactly why I'm not posting any picture of my bird in his cage.
But to be franc, I love the people in these forums. They care about our fids more than we do.. Especially you, Mayden!
But I don't understand some people. There is no reason to use the arrogance while responsing to others. I mean, think of how happy you turn both the owner AND the bird when you give positive advices that lead to the development of the relationship between them.

Terry57 05-14-2018 02:23 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I think this is an excellent thread to bump. It takes courage for people to come here to post asking for help, and rather than judgement, they need help with their bird. The birds should be the most important thing, and if someone is attacked they may not come back to read the responses of people who are truly trying to help.
Reading things is so much different than when we can hear a person's voice, and it only helps everyone if we keep that in mind when we type. Also, using all caps is considered in most online circles to be yelling, rather than emphasis, so I think we all should keep that in mind when responding as well.
I know we all just want to help people with their birds, and receive help for our own.

Squeekmouse 05-14-2018 03:21 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I TOTALLY AGREE! THANKS FOR BUMPING THIS!

Sorry... I couldn't resist... :D

Seriously though, I'm glad you did bump this. Text communications always come with potential for misunderstanding and everyone here has strong feelings about some topics, especially about our Fids. But even if someone is making a terrible mistake regarding the care of their bird, the simple fact that they posted on these forums shows their intentions are good and they have a desire to learn and share.

Every person deserves to be treated with the benefit of the doubt, and everyone should strive to treat others as they would wish to be treated.

...and everyone here has made their share of mistakes, right? :)

Terry57 05-14-2018 03:43 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Squeekmouse (Post 727274)
I TOTALLY AGREE! THANKS FOR BUMPING THIS!

Sorry... I couldn't resist... :D

Seriously though, I'm glad you did bump this. Text communications always come with potential for misunderstanding and everyone here has strong feelings about some topics, especially about our Fids. But even if someone is making a terrible mistake regarding the care of their bird, the simple fact that they posted on these forums shows their intentions are good and they have a desire to learn and share.

Every person deserves to be treated with the benefit of the doubt, and everyone should strive to treat others as they would wish to be treated.

...and everyone here has made their share of mistakes, right? :)

I love your post, and the top part cracked me up..lol.

caiquewalk 05-14-2018 06:08 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Wow, this is insanely well said! I am amazed that i only just came across this. Thankyou Terry for bumping it. Also thanks to the OP for this thread if they’re still around. You know sometimes i catch myself treating or judging others badly, then i always regret it after. The best book I have ever read of communication - Dale Carnegie: How to win friends and influence people, is a testament to how much i have improved and would recommend it to anyone.

“Even God doesn’t propose to judge a man till his last days, why should You and I?” - Carnegie

GaleriaGila 05-14-2018 06:29 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Terry, you're the best. I had not seen this thread before, and I'm glad to have read it.
In my experience, this is the absolute friendliest and most constructive parrot/bird Forum, but we aren't perfect, and I appreciate the reminder and call to action.
The guiding light and truest rudder... it's about the birds.
It can be challenging to balance honesty with gentleness, but if our work here helps one little caged darling... somehow, somewhere, someplace... have a better life, then I'm grateful to have participated.

Scott 05-15-2018 12:18 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
What a treasure, Terry! Thanks for bumping so a new generation can read the wisdom.

reeb 06-28-2018 08:50 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I've noticed a bit of hostility recently in some threads... Hopefully people will still feel welcomed and encouraged. I only just saw this, and I hope all members will give this a read at some point.

TiredOldMan 06-28-2018 10:34 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Just a bump to the top. Everyone needs the opportunity to read this thread.

Please
and
Thank You

itzjbean 06-28-2018 10:50 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I admit I can get carried away with my replies.. I find much of it happens in the breeding parrots subforum or when members buy an unweaned baby and have problems helping baby thrive.

I try my best to give advice and help, but there is a difference between asking for help and taking it to heart, changing your mistakes made and asking for help but refusing to take the advice given because you don't think you're doing anything wrong. When it is between life and death for a baby bird, it becomes very frustrating when a parrot owner doesn't realize the severity of the issue until its too late.

caiquewalk 06-28-2018 11:34 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are
not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with
creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices
and motivated by pride and vanity.”

Excerpt from
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
This material may be protected by copyright.

Scott 06-28-2018 11:39 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Thanks for bumping, Dave! :)

It is not always what we say but how we say it. I well know the desire to convey urgent advice while being mindful of avoiding collateral emotions that may taint the delivery.

buurd 06-29-2018 02:11 AM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I would also add, that if you are trying to sway minds on an issue, don't just negate what a person had said. Explain the 'why' behind what you are trying to explain.
You could be a parrot genius, but to a person just posting here who doesnt know you, you re just another person with an opinion.

Explain, gently, why you have an objection to something.
Give the alternatives with information as to why they are preferable.

And also, try to have an open mind and listen. Please dont make the mistake of projecting any preconceived notions you may have onto anyone else, and jumping all over them. There's a lot of ignorance out there when it comes to people treating animals with the respect they're due, and everyone's been guilty of it at some point .

As newbie, my initial reaction is that most people Ive seen post here have been great advocates for birds and respectful of others.

EllenD 07-02-2018 12:17 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by itzjbean (Post 737169)
I admit I can get carried away with my replies.. I find much of it happens in the breeding parrots subforum or when members buy an unweaned baby and have problems helping baby thrive.

I try my best to give advice and help, but there is a difference between asking for help and taking it to heart, changing your mistakes made and asking for help but refusing to take the advice given because you don't think you're doing anything wrong. When it is between life and death for a baby bird, it becomes very frustrating when a parrot owner doesn't realize the severity of the issue until its too late.


Ha Ha Itzjbean, I think we were separated at birth, as we both seem to agree on most topics, and we are both equally-passionate about our birds and in our responses...for good or for bad :16:


For the most-part I've found that on this forum, even when a post becomes hostile, members are typically not disrespectful or nasty, and people are far-more able to express themselves than in a lot of other forums, even if what we are saying is not "popular" or what the OP wants to hear, just as long as we do it in a way that is respectful and not juvenile or just plain ridiculous. And that's a fact that is not wasted on me at all, being a long-time member of other forums where the senior-members cannot "criticize" or point-out a new-member's behavior, mistakes, neglect, etc., for fear that the new member will simply leave and never come back. While that should be a concern, if you can't even respectfully tell a new member who is new to keeping a pet that what they are doing is harmful, dangerous, irresponsible, etc., or telling them that there are no "home remedies" that will help their pet and they need to get their pet to a vet ASAP or they are going to die, then what's the point in the first-place? How much good can you do if you cannot give constructive-criticism? And there are some other pet-forums/communities online who literally do not allow ANY respectful, constructive-criticism of a new-member who has only joined for emergent help. So this forum is unique in this way, and I am grateful and thankful for this...

****What I will say is this (I couldn't not-post a little bit of friction-inducing text, it wouldn't be like me :D)...What I absolutely, positively REFUSE to do (yes, I'm screaming in this particular instance), under ANY circumstance, is to "coddle" an OP who has had the ****s to write about the way they are neglecting and/or abusing their bird. And we have had a bit of that, one recent post in-particular that most are very aware of, and it got ugly (Though had one of the happiest and most beautiful outcomes in history, thank God!). That is the only post that I can remember from this forum that got to that point, and if I'm being completely honest, it happened with good-cause, in my own, personal opinion. Now I'm not condoning some of the words that were used or the names that the OP was called at all, and if I'm being completely and totally honest, I had to step-away from my computer and go snuggle with Kane a bit to calm myself down, or I too would have ended-up posting something that I would have very much regretted and that would have gotten me suspended/banned from this forum. And I was actually quite proud of myself for handling it the way that I did, as i did literally force myself to step-away from the computer and take a deep-breath, and think about how lucky I am to have my birds and the extremely-close bond that I have with all of them, and how happy I am that I am able to understand how special my relationship with my birds is. It's a very foreign thought to me and to most people in this community that there are people in this world who are lucky enough to own a beautiful, highly-intelligent, highly-affectionate parrot, yet they think of them as nothing more than "property"...this is unfortunately very, very common, and it's another situation where I have to check-myself and try to put myself in the other person's shoes/situation, and try to understand where they are coming from...Sometimes this is warranted... But again, I refuse to "coddle" people such as that one, or anyone who is not only admitting to neglecting and physically abusing their bird, but who also state that there's nothing wrong with the way they are treating their bird, that their bird deserves the abuse and neglect they are getting, etc. That doesn't fly with me at all, and never will. Birds cannot advocate for themselves, so it's up to us to advocate for them, to protect them, and to help them when they cannot help themselves...

However, the point is that there are ways to do this that don't involve name-calling, swearing, or puffing your chest out in a showing of dominance. And I've recently just been learning this, at the age of 38...and the reason I've been learning this and actually practicing it on a regular-basis is completely and totally due to my participation in this community...no joke. So for that I will forever be grateful....We're never too-old to educate ourselves and learn from others...

Tami2 07-02-2018 01:41 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I will add this...
I will be a member of this community a year next month.
I lurked, read & learned from this forum for years prior to getting Levi & joining.
My experience has been nothing but pleasant and positive. I was warmly welcomed from the start. Thank you for that. :heart:

I have found that every time I posted a question many members & mods would be very kind and help me try to not only resolve my issue, but understand the why behind it. I have nothing but admiration for this lovely community.

Also, when responses, (that I have read) were a bit harsh I usually agreed with the sentiments.

That’s my two cents, for what it’s worth. :)

Anansi 07-02-2018 03:30 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by EllenD (Post 738045)
...However, the point is that there are ways to do this that don't involve name-calling, swearing, or puffing your chest out in a showing of dominance. And I've recently just been learning this, at the age of 38...and the reason I've been learning this and actually practicing it on a regular-basis is completely and totally due to my participation in this community...no joke. So for that I will forever be grateful....We're never too-old to educate ourselves and learn from others...

Awesome post, especially this portion here. One of the things that I have the most respect for in a person is an understanding that we are all still learning. It's only through this understanding that we all continue to grow as parronts... and as people in general. This community teaches me something new all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tami2 (Post 738061)
I will add this...
I will be a member of this community a year next month.
I lurked, read & learned from this forum for years prior to getting Levi & joining.
My experience has been nothing but pleasant and positive. I was warmly welcome from the start. Thank you for that. :heart:

I have found that every time I posted a question many members & mods would be very kind and help me try to not only resolve my issue, but understand the why behind it. I have nothing but admiration for this lovely community.

Also, when responses, (that I have read) were a bit harsh I usually agreed with the sentiments.

Thatís my two cents, for what itís worth. :)

Worth quite a lot in my book, Tami. Your positive experience here, a year in, is exactly the atmosphere we mods work toward for this community. A place where we can all engage respectfully in dialogue, learn from each other, share with one another, and continue to grow... all via the common thread of our love for the beautiful birds under our care.

GaleriaGila 07-02-2018 05:54 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
I'd say it in every thread if I didn't fear it would get tiresome, buttt...

This is the friendliest, most big-hearted, most tolerant and temperate parrot place online, and I am a veteran of at least five, before settling here.

That's why I was thrilled to have the opportunity to help with moderating, and it's an honor, every day.

Thanks to each of you who make it a joy.

DiscoDuck 07-02-2018 06:32 PM

Re: Attitudes and responses to other members.
 
Quote:

Please guys, just take into consideration that we are human, we make mistakes and we're all here trying to learn. So let's get rid of all that nastyness, intended or not and encourage others to learn - and come back to learn some more!
The number one mistake is that we are human controlled by after the fact emotions instead of boring learning before causing the mistake.


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