New and need help.

I'm sure you've all heard it before and I didn't want to be one of those unprepared new owner cliches but.....

Owned a cinnamon conure for 3 weeks now. Bought her at 2 years old from a couple who sold her due to work commitments.
She's tame and social, sweet and affectionate when she wants to be and a ball of destruction and decibels the rest of it.
I'm not naiive, I knew they were work. Ok maybe I am naiive because she seems to be the boss of us, not the other way round.
I guess I've probably done a lot wrong without intending to.
The problem is, my partner doesn't like her, she doesn't like me and she LOVES my partner.
Shes fully flighed, never been clipped, and won't come near me.
I'm desperate to begin to train her but don't know how if shes never with me.
My partner wants me to sort her out asap. Now im stressing cos hes losing patience.
If i dont get somewhere soon i think shes gonna go for his sake.
I'm such a cliche and feel like a failure. Not the companion bird I'd imagined, yet I know she has the potential to be.

Why does he not like her???

It's difficult keeping parrots and if the rest of the household is not on board I think its only a matter of time before it comes down to "its me or the bird". You don't want that.

What was the agreement you made with your partner that resulted in you getting a bird even though he doesn't like them?

I would suggest a room devoted to the bird except I think its cruel to keep a single bird all by itself.

Do you have an idea what you want to accomplish? Are you hoping the bird can be uncaged and stay away from your partner? Or are you hoping the bird can be caged and quiet?

Hi, thanks for the replies.
I wasn't clear regarding my partner really. He doesn't dislike birds at all. Or pets in general. We have s dog also. He actually thinks she's cute and sweet - when she's being a good bird!
The problems arise when she's being a bit noisy or destructive and I lack the control over her.
As I said, she loves him though and constantly flies to him and on him. And when he wants chill time after work it doesn't go down too well.
So ultimately, its not that he doesn't like her. I think he just preferred his life before we got her and now his patience is wearing thin.
Originally he agreed to the bird as my pet. That it was my thing and up to me to care for it. I've had other pets before, rodents, reptiles etc and I guess they weren't as demanding on him.
What I am looking to get from her is a cool, funny, interesting, interactive pet. She does have an amazing little personality I'm getting to know. I just need to get a handle on the training issues now in order to reach that goal.
I've read tons on the subject so far, so I'm going to start some serious clicker\target training. My main issue now is recall. I need her to come to me on my terms, not hers as i have the issue with getting her away to bed at night and I need to address that.

So do we think I stand a chance here? Or is my little hooligan going to have to go for the sake of a quiet life.
Have I unintentionally trained her too many bad habits? And can I fix them or is it too late?
I don't want her to go and I'm willing to put the time and effort in with her. I'm too aware of the many birds out there that are surrended because their owners took on more than they could handle. I did my research first. I knew they meant commitment and I am prepared for that.
I'm not admitting defeat, but I am admitting I'm new to this and need advice.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.

Hey leelee , welcome to the forum. I'd post in the conure section. loads of good owners there who'd love to help. Thanks for joining to learn more about your new buddy.

Welcome to the forum

Thankyou

Hey leelee!

Welcome to the forum. I can't wait to hear the answers to your questions because similar things are happening at our place. I've got two young Alexandrines who are currently settling in *extremely* well. So well, in fact, that they seem to think everything I own is theirs to eat. That would include clothing, hair, hair clips, hair bands, earrings, ears and children! My word! By the time I've finished training this lot, there'll be no buttons left on the radio or the TV remote or any of the people who live here. As you say, I'll be trying to work on this or that training lesson and the Beaks simply fly up and sit on the fan. Then they laugh at me uproariously (which is mighty unkind, IMHO, considering the nice stuff I'm feeding them).

Try not to be despondent. It takes longer than three weeks for you to sort out your new baby and her issues. While I guess I sound like I'm complaining, I'm really not. When they arrived, my Beaks were really stand-offish and timid. I think the previous owner had been scared of them, because they bit quite badly. Now, I only occasionally get a nip when I've not paid attention *and* they both step up very well on command; say 'Hello' and warble the first few bars of an aria from 'La Traviata'. Barney has recently learned to 'play ball' and both are learning to put beads 'in the bin'.

I'm pretty much a rank beginner as well, but I *so* advise spending as much quiet patient time as you can just talking to Lottie, feeding her treats and getting her used to being touched by you. It's probably quite wrong, but I gained the Beaks' initial trust by shamelessly feeding them treats. Bribery works *so* well in the right context! It's how I potty trained my kids (the human ones) and how I got my dog to come on call. I can't wait till the Beaks are focussed enough to do half what some of the birds here can do.

My own question: *how* do I stop them from eating people's glasses??? I just resign myself to semi-blindness while playing with them, but whenever my sister visits, the Beaks have her in fear of her eyesight by chomping on her specs. It's exhausting, chasing them around going 'stepupstepupstepup' like a maniac while my sister squawks worse than they do!

Betrisher said:

My own question: *how* do I stop them from eating people's glasses??? I just resign myself to semi-blindness while playing with them, but whenever my sister visits, the Beaks have her in fear of her eyesight by chomping on her specs. It's exhausting, chasing them around going 'stepupstepupstepup' like a maniac while my sister squawks worse than they do!

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Thanks so much for your reply. I guess I'm happy knowing that others have been where I am too.
I have patience to do it but I do wanna be rewarded with some results at least.
I will persevere.
As for the glasses thing, lottie does that too tho not quite as obsessively.
If she does things I don't want, like biting at earrings too, I put my hand between her and it and move her away and if i can, distract her with something else. I read you can't scold for bad behaviour, its not like training a dog. So unless there is another miraculous way that I've missed, that's what works for me.

first off clicker training and target training is great! She will always be somewhat noisy she is a bird after all! to minimize destruction make sure she has lots of fun toys to play with and especially get some good forging toys. To get her to bond to you just spend quit undemanding time with her near you while you sit and talk softly to her or read aloud to her while your parter is NOT in the room until she is bonded more to you try not to let her and your partner interact all the time. Good Luck!!

You already got some good advice going on there! I think your hubby will learn to love her over time. I know people who didn't like birds and find them dirty and annoying before and secretly love them in their own way. My family was like that, they like birds now days and they even admit to it now days.

I think hubby already likes her, just on the condition that she's a good bird. I catch him whistling to her, or the pair of them doing a head bobbing dance every now and then.