Hello Everyone,

I am new here, and I have been impressed with the knowledge people share.

The love of my life didn't turn out to be a man. It turned out to be my parrot Harry. I have had him 22 years. I saved him from this awful pet shop. I am 58 years old, disabled, and alone now. But I live in a lovely studio with a mountain view in Reno, NV.

It has a very big bathroom, where I can close the door. Harry and I have spent most of our time in each other's sight. But he is going through Spring mating season. He bullies my cat Alice. He has torn up antique furniture. I keep him flighted because you never know. One day, he might have to escape something. He likes to fly.

Yes, he bites wires, and I have to cover everything, and put my antiques away. I spend a lot of time at the computer, which he would rather me spend paying attention to him, at his whim. I gave him the bathroom, cage, toys everywhere, toilet closed after use. No window. I have three windows in my main room, where he comes out and plays.

He eats seeds from the Great Companions catalog, along with fruit pellets, and he insists on a peanut a day. I do whatever he wants.

I am having more trouble taking care of him than I used to. He goes through spring mating season, and does not understand that I can't have children with him. He'll play quietly in my main room when he has it to himself because I am in the bathroom. For baths, we always take them together. I have a spray bottle on the bathtub rim.

But he's getting aggressive, and my inability to clean up after him as well as I should, is creating sanitation problems. This is my fault, I know. But I am having a hard time. I think he has too much power. Birds are amoral. They are their own gods. :-)

For my health, it would be a good idea to rehome him, but I wouldn't trust anyone with him. The idea that I'd be leaving him somewhere and walking out forever, for my own benefit, is impossible. I wouldn't survive it.

I had a cleaning service, but he took one of my pearl earrings out of my jewelry drawer, which I had accidentally kept open, threw it on the floor, I didn't notice, and the next day when I went to put them on, one was gone. I fired the cleaning service.

I'm not sure what kind of help to ask for. I will not abandon him. Maybe my friends half a mile away can take him a week per month, so I can clean my house?

I'm in a muddle, but I love him more than my own life.

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Barbara
Mate of Harry

Hello and a warm welcome to you and Harry! Your companion sounds like quite the character! I'm sorry you are having relationship issues. Twenty two years is very impressive, I hope you can find a happy solution for the current problems.

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"She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot." Mark Twain

Welcome, there are many here that can fully relate to your situation!

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..David..

Welcome Barbara and Harry, thanks for joining! Your relationship with Harry sounds like a classic case of over-bonding. I suggest this without malice or judgment, as many of us can relate!

Your health and Harry's are intertwined, so you ought take care of your basic needs. Can you sequester him to a small day-cage to tackle some of the cleaning, bit by bit? If not, perhaps trying the services of a bonded and ethical cleaning service?

Longer term, is it possible to teach Harry to self-entertain? Perhaps your nearby friends can take him for short periods, to give yourself time to recharge? A bit of separation in small doses would be healthy for both!

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Yes and yes to what Scott said. I am quite sure with something like these adjustments in place, things would settle and you might have many more happy years together. Please let us know how things go!