My conure is starting to become really aggressive. Help!

Bella19

New member
Apr 20, 2018
1
0
I've had my conure for about 5 months and he use to bite in the beginning but not too hard. I could handle the pain and I would never flinch. I made the biggest mistake today with him because I was having a bad day. I feel he's getting too cocky from being out so much and when he is out he needs my attention which I try not to give all the time because then he cries when I leave the room or don't pay attention to him. A couple days ago I was getting ready to leave and he saw me putting my shoes on while I was talking to my boyfriend. Normally he just cries but this time he was screaming. I stopped talking and turned around to face him and he stopped. I try to continue talking to my boyfriend and he started screaming over and over again until I stopped. So like I said I think he's getting too cocky and comfortable. I let him out of his cage and he jumps onto me beyond happy to see me but today was different. I stayed home from school today and took him out early. He was on the top of his cage and I had to put him back because I wanted to get something to eat. As soon as my finger went up and bit down hard enough to break my skin so I was like screw it and I walked away. I was getting so worked up and angry I had no idea what to do. When I first got him from his previous owner he only bit a little hard but I could take it. So I head back to him and he's already looking fiesty like he's gonna bite so I get beyond angry and did something so stupid. I know he's afraid of drums sticks or any stick for that matter so I held it up by him because he was attacking me and I didn't know what to do. I wanted him off the cage and to realize he was wrong but now he just fears me. I got him back in his cage with a lot of biting happening. I covered his cage and ignored him. 15 minutes later I came back and stuck my finger towards him and said "up up." He literally had his neck pushed in to his body. Fluffed up and he was trying to take a chunk out of my hand. I was so afraid to even let him bite and just take it. For the past couple hours I've been sticking my hand in and if he bites I shut the cage and leave the room. He cries when I leave like he wants me there but then I'm back at his cage asking him to step and he looks like he's possessed. Im getting really annoyed. I've tried so many things. I can tell he's tense when I come up to his cage so this time I though why not beat box or make a tune he likes. So he changes his evil looking posture and is dancing. He looks so happy and I go to open the cage and he changed completely. I tried this again with my hand outside of the cage and hell still bite me as hard as he can through the bars. I don't know what to do. Treats will not help. I feel like I killed our trust by doing positive punishment. I don't know where to go from here. He's a year old and has been nippy inside his cage and on my boyfriend sometimes but never ever this bad. Normally he'll stop biting because he knows I won't give him attention. What do I do? And I'm not gonna ever involve anything that scares him. I was just super impatient and I honestly shouldn't have been because I think I broke him.
 

itzjbean

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2017
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2 cockatiels
I am sorry to hear you are having issues with your young conure. Know that these things do happen, and your frustration is understandable. He sounds like a tantrum-throwing toddler who isn't getting his way as he used to. The biting should not have been tolerated when you got him and now it seems he is overstepping his boundaries and does not have manners.

Mistakes have been made but if you are committed, I believe you can salvage your relationship with your conure.

You will likely have to back up to square one with gaining his trust again. Here is a great link to read -- Tips for Bonding and Building Trust

You will need to work on your attitude around him. If you are frustrated and impatient, he will pick up on that. So, take a deep breath. Calm down. Know that this will be a long process, maybe weeks or months for him to figure out. Keep him contained inside his cage for now until the biting is resolved as he cannot be trusted outside the cage without biting, so he should be kept in if you want this to work. Him being contained will give you more control over where he is, will keep you from being bitten and will enable you to work with him closely without him flying away. Being outside the cage is a privilege he needs to learn that only when no biting occurs should he be taken out. He just needs to learn manners is all!

Also, being able to be by himself and play without you independently is very important. Does he have a large cage to spread his wings, lots of toys? Foraging toys could help keep his mind busier when you have to run errands or go somewhere outside the house.

Keep us updated!
 
Last edited:

Squeekmouse

Well-known member
May 31, 2017
840
337
Illinois
Parrots
Yoda, Green Cheek Conure - Trigger, Congo African Grey
Your conure loves you, to him you are his whole world. You're his mom, his playmate, his flock, his everything. He's very intelligent and very devoted, he's not like a cat or a dog, and nothing like a hamster. Try to keep that in mind when you look at him.

He's also very young, and like any 2-year old he will do whatever he needs to do to get attention. When he screams, you look at him and respond to it. So he screams when he wants your attention. He's also afraid of you and miserable because you've scared him so badly. Now he's confused, are you a predator and a threat or are you his mom, his flock, his whole world? How can you be both to him? It's a no-brainer which one you WANT to be, right? So keep that in mind when he frustrates or angers you. NEVER be the predator, never be a threat. If you are his mom and his flock, then you should do like a conure mom/flock would do to a fellow conure that misbehaves. Squawk in pain (yell No or Ouch) and put him down on a perch or floor. Walk away. Stop about 10 feet away or so, and let HIM come back to you. That's his way of telling you he's sorry and still loves you. If he doesn't come to you, he might just need to go back in his cage for a while to calm down. Be gentle when you pick him up, use a perch if possible. Don't scare him.

When you want to take him out and work with him (DO THIS OFTEN!!!), approach slowly, speaking sweetly and calmly. Hang around outside his cage for a while until he calms down and stops screaming. Don't take him out when he is screaming, don't even LOOK at him when he is screaming. DO say in a calm, nice voice "I'm here. It's Ok. You're safe". But otherwise leave him alone and don't interact. He's calling out to you for two reasons: 1. To get attention. 2. To call out to his flock and make sure his flock is ok and can get back to him.

Once he calms down, move slowly, if he freaks out from your hand, take him from his cage with a perch. Take baby-steps. You need to re-earn his trust. Itzjbean's advice is good, and that link is gold: Tips for Bonding and Building Trust

Good luck, we're here to help!! Don't give up!! Don't get angry!!
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
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San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Welcome to the forums, and thanks for a thorough introduction. We all make mistakes, so consider this a crossroads with two distinct choices. If you feel it is possible to attempt a "reboot" of the relationship, there are many techniques short of re-homing. The previous posts by "itzjbean" and "Squeekmouse" give excellent advice!

I'd also recommend this thread: http://www.parrotforums.com/macaws/56384-big-beak-o-phobes-guide-understanding-macaw-beaks.html While the subject is macaw beaks, the psychology and strategy of beak usage is similar. The main difference is smaller parrots are often quicker to bite hard rather than warn.

Good luck, and please keep us updated. I would also suggest you create a similar post in the Behavioral Forum to attract more responses: Behavioral - Parrot Forum - Parrot Owner's Community
 

T00tsyd

Well-known member
May 8, 2017
1,256
862
UK
Parrots
Green cheek conure - Sydney (Syd) Hatched 2/2017
I too have a conure who can change in a second from an angel to a devil and I think it's only fair that you should also be given time to trust again.

Last time Syd drew blood from my cheek I vowed he would be caged for ever I was so hurt and upset. I didn't see it coming at all. After I calmed down I left him in his cage for 2 days. I even shortened the trips from his sleep to his day cage and vice versa. I just didn't trust him. Having said that I then went back to basics. He is never out all the time anyway because although I am home all day I didn't want a bird to be that much in my face, but I always chat to him. For those 2 days I was a bit reserved. I did the necessary but not a lot more. On the 3rd day I was feeling better and had given treats etc through the bars and there was no sign of aggression or fear and although we are now back to 'normal' (he's on my shoulder now) I am much more aware of monitoring him and trying to gauge his body language.

Go back to basics as if he has only just arrived. Chat to him, offer treats occasionally but don't spoil him. You both need to adjust and you both need time. Any behaviour that is not acceptable (including any biting even gentle) wait until he stops before interacting with him. If he's on you put him down preferably not above your head height.

You can both recover from this, stay calm, stay focused and don't rush and you will end up with an even better relationship because this time you will be able to reset the boundaries better for both of you.
 

MonicaMc

Well-known member
Sep 12, 2012
7,960
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Mitred Conure - Charlie 1994;
Cockatiel - Casey 2001;
Wild Caught ARN - Sylphie 2013
The only bite that can't be rewarded is the bite that never occurs.

By "allowing" your bird to bite you, you are teaching your bird to bite.



Start with target training through the cage bars and teaching him what you want to do. Use his favorite treats as rewards. Learn how to avoid getting bitten or redirecting the bite into a more positive interaction.
 

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