Really apprehensive

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
I know a lot of people never leave the area that they've been raised in, but in my 30 years, I've lived all over the country. I've spent the last 5.5 years in Seattle, where my husband has been stationed. I've usually only ever had curiosity and excitement about the next place we go. But right now, I'm more scared than anything and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Hubs is in the process of getting out of the Navy (it's a loooong story) and just yesterday accepted a job offer in the Phoenix area of Arizona. We could be there as early as late July.

The reason I'm scared is because of the extreme laws that have recently been passed against women in AZ. Apparently, now a woman is pregnant 2 weeks before conception! I mean, that's just crazy! They want to allow employers to fire women for using birth control simply for preventing pregnancy. I mean, I was born almost a decade after Roe v. Wade, I don't know what it's like to have my reproductive decisions made for me. I seriously don't understand what gives lawmakers feel as though they have the right to make life-altering decisions for WOMEN (no repercussions for the men that I've seen, stupid double standard) that they don't even know?

So now the more I look into things down there, the more I'm freaking out about moving there. I'm a Feminist, but I'm not the stereotypical one, so the idea of getting down there and then suddenly not being able to have access to birth control freaks me out. Of being treated like a second-class citizen, of my daughter being treated as though she's a second-class citizen simply because she has ovaries, is freaking me out. Now I'm balking at the idea of moving there when I was so excited.

I'm just being crazy, aren't I?
 

jaimmorr

New member
Jul 21, 2011
381
0
USA
Parrots
Ricco - Goffin's Cockatoo
Wow... I didn't know that.

That's ridiculous. I'm pro-life, but I'm also pro-birth control. If we take away birth control, there are going to be way too many unwanted pregnancies (even more so than now) and then those unwanted children are going to be the subjects of abuse and neglect.

This is a heavy subject, but I don't think you should take moving there lightly... Is there any way that maybe your husband will get a job offer somewhere else?

On the upside, Phoenix, AZ has the lowest priced real estate right now! :)
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #3
Yeah, Real Estate is pretty kick ass right now, but we're probably not buying for another year or two. We're not in a position to buy between now and July.

It's possible he could get an offer somewhere else, but the benefits for the company far outweigh over most. He hasn't even gotten his firm release date yet (he's getting out early, like I said, long story) but once he does, he could have other offers. He keeps saying "Nothing says I have to go there, I can retract my acceptance if something better comes along", but honestly, unless we want to go to SE Tennessee or Georgia (both states that are off their rockers, particularly GA with their "Women must expel miscarried pregnancy with no medical interventions because that's what livestock do" law...) it may be the best offer we get, at least in time for us to be out of this place (we live in Military Housing, so once he's released, we have 30 days to move and there's no logical reason to stay in Seattle and we can't afford to put first, last and security just to pick up and move a month later and do it all over again).

I'm just really getting worried. I'm also pro-life, for myself but I'm not anti-abortion or anti-birth control for anyone. We don't live in a perfect world, and those things have their time and place. Hubs and I used to love this country, it's why we joined the military (yes, I was in too) but now we're seriously contemplating jumping ship and looking for employment outside the US.

I should add that I have no medical reason for using BC by AZ law standards. I can technically get pregnant, we simply don't want another biological child or for me to endure any more miscarriages (I've had 3). I can't seem to carry beyond the first 8 weeks since our daughter's birth (another looong story). Last known pregnancy, I had to have a D&C.
 
Last edited:

suebee

New member
Jan 13, 2011
2,394
3
no your not crazy, and your views will be rather forward thinking for those that have been born an raised there

i have read some rather crazy american laws, but 2 wks prior to conception??

On the upside, Phoenix, AZ has the lowest priced real estate right now! :)
i wonder why?? lol

on a personal experience point of view, you will be seen as some kinda strange with your forward thinking ideas, the younger generation of women will agree, the older generation be calling your views crazy!

i know all to well what it is like to change ppls perceptions, but if the laws already against you, patience is not an option

but this is my opinion, unfairness of any kind really get up my goat!
 

jaimmorr

New member
Jul 21, 2011
381
0
USA
Parrots
Ricco - Goffin's Cockatoo
Yeah, Real Estate is pretty kick ass right now, but we're probably not buying for another year or two. We're not in a position to buy between now and July.

It's possible he could get an offer somewhere else, but the benefits for the company far outweigh over most. He hasn't even gotten his firm release date yet (he's getting out early, like I said, long story) but once he does, he could have other offers. He keeps saying "Nothing says I have to go there, I can retract my acceptance if something better comes along", but honestly, unless we want to go to SE Tennessee or Georgia (both states that are off their rockers, particularly GA with their "Women must expel miscarried pregnancy with no medical interventions because that's what livestock do" law...) it may be the best offer we get, at least in time for us to be out of this place (we live in Military Housing, so once he's released, we have 30 days to move and there's no logical reason to stay in Seattle and we can't afford to put first, last and security just to pick up and move a month later and do it all over again).

I'm just really getting worried. I'm also pro-life, for myself but I'm not anti-abortion or anti-birth control for anyone. We don't live in a perfect world, and those things have their time and place. Hubs and I used to love this country, it's why we joined the military (yes, I was in too) but now we're seriously contemplating jumping ship and looking for employment outside the US.

I should add that I have no medical reason for using BC by AZ law standards. I can technically get pregnant, we simply don't want another biological child or for me to endure any more miscarriages (I've had 3). I can't seem to carry beyond the first 8 weeks since our daughter's birth (another looong story). Last known pregnancy, I had to have a D&C.

That thing about GA.... Just wow. I didn't know that either. I live in the USA and I am planning on moving to New Zealand within the next 6-10 years, if all goes as planned. No offense to anyone that loves the US, but I just don't. I've wanted to leave the country as soon as I started learning about this one.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I know that's tough. <3
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #6
I'm really starting to not want to go. The more I think about it, the more depressed I think I will end up while there, instead of my depression being relieved as has been the theory.

I can't keep my mouth shut and I don't care who hears me. This doesn't bode well AT ALL in that I will offend most of the long-time residents there and most likely end up very very lonely because I won't change who I am, and what I believe, just to "make friends". It's not that I'm a closed person, to the contrary, I'm very open to new ideas and concepts, but it doesn't mean I'm going to change my mind (not that it has never been changed, for it has).

I just see myself being miserable because I don't have full control over my own reproductive health, think that a large majority of their laws are crazy, unnecessary and downright wrong and I won't be making a lot of friends. Not to mention, I'll be thousands of miles away from anyone who understands me. Seattle was hard enough and I fit in around here fairly well.
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #7
That thing about GA.... Just wow. I didn't know that either. I live in the USA and I am planning on moving to New Zealand within the next 6-10 years, if all goes as planned. No offense to anyone that loves the US, but I just don't. I've wanted to leave the country as soon as I started learning about this one.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I know that's tough. <3

It just passed last month. THAT'S the even crazier part!
 

jaimmorr

New member
Jul 21, 2011
381
0
USA
Parrots
Ricco - Goffin's Cockatoo
I'm really starting to not want to go. The more I think about it, the more depressed I think I will end up while there, instead of my depression being relieved as has been the theory.

I can't keep my mouth shut and I don't care who hears me. This doesn't bode well AT ALL in that I will offend most of the long-time residents there and most likely end up very very lonely because I won't change who I am, and what I believe, just to "make friends". It's not that I'm a closed person, to the contrary, I'm very open to new ideas and concepts, but it doesn't mean I'm going to change my mind (not that it has never been changed, for it has).

I just see myself being miserable because I don't have full control over my own reproductive health, think that a large majority of their laws are crazy, unnecessary and downright wrong and I won't be making a lot of friends. Not to mention, I'll be thousands of miles away from anyone who understands me. Seattle was hard enough and I fit in around here fairly well.


I was going to say... It sounds like you belong in Seattle/Portland/West Coast... That's where we were going to move (Seattle) until plans changed and I decided to go to college for a 6-8 year plan instead of just a 2-4 year.

But you never know. I live in a very small town in Indiana. From the outside, it looks/seems like the people here are VERY closed minded and rude. And most of them are. But then you find a gem in the middle of where you didn't think you'd ever find it, and you do find friends.

I really hope everything works out for you. :)
 

suebee

New member
Jan 13, 2011
2,394
3
but ppl here have accepted me, and all my oddnesses :)

but there is no law that disagrees with my core beliefs

my view on life is, never say never and we always have a choice or options, as long as we have patience
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #10
I'm really starting to not want to go. The more I think about it, the more depressed I think I will end up while there, instead of my depression being relieved as has been the theory.

I can't keep my mouth shut and I don't care who hears me. This doesn't bode well AT ALL in that I will offend most of the long-time residents there and most likely end up very very lonely because I won't change who I am, and what I believe, just to "make friends". It's not that I'm a closed person, to the contrary, I'm very open to new ideas and concepts, but it doesn't mean I'm going to change my mind (not that it has never been changed, for it has).

I just see myself being miserable because I don't have full control over my own reproductive health, think that a large majority of their laws are crazy, unnecessary and downright wrong and I won't be making a lot of friends. Not to mention, I'll be thousands of miles away from anyone who understands me. Seattle was hard enough and I fit in around here fairly well.


I was going to say... It sounds like you belong in Seattle/Portland/West Coast... That's where we were going to move (Seattle) until plans changed and I decided to go to college for a 6-8 year plan instead of just a 2-4 year.

But you never know. I live in a very small town in Indiana. From the outside, it looks/seems like the people here are VERY closed minded and rude. And most of them are. But then you find a gem in the middle of where you didn't think you'd ever find it, and you do find friends.

I really hope everything works out for you. :)

I actually don't like it here. I can't handle the weather, even the summers are too freaking cold for me (and I lived in Maine for crying out loud!). The people are horrific drivers (and I've driven all over the US!), it rains almost every day from October-April and yet no one knows how to drive in it... I could go on and on. It's mostly the people though. While most are like-minded to myself, it's impossible to make friends here and I'm a very outgoing person. My friends back home were shocked that I had so few local friends because back home, I was the social butterfly. I knew everyone!
 

jaimmorr

New member
Jul 21, 2011
381
0
USA
Parrots
Ricco - Goffin's Cockatoo
REALLY?! That surprises me! Well, not the weather part LOL

A big majority of our friends moved to Eugene, OR and they loooove it. We miss them dearly, too. :(
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #12
REALLY?! That surprises me! Well, not the weather part LOL

A big majority of our friends moved to Eugene, OR and they loooove it. We miss them dearly, too. :(

Oregon is significantly different from Western WA and Western WA is significantly different from Eastern WA. The people in the greater Seattle area are the whole reason you hear of the "Seattle Freeze". It's NOT a myth! It's very much alive and well. I've met several people from OR, and a friend who lives down there has introduced me to several of her friends and I find those that reside in OR or close to the border and spend a lot of time in OR are much more relaxed, open and friendly.

It's beautiful here (nature-wise) but I'm ready to leave. Just not sure I like my so-far only option.
 

caliopi

New member
Jan 30, 2010
234
Media
1
2
Melbourne, Australia
Parrots
Eclectus Parrot
King Parrot
I am in shock, I can't believe such laws exist in a country like America! For the record I am very much pro life but also hugely favour birth control. I don't like abortion but I believe everyone is entitled to make their own choices, this is purely my belief and I would never force my opinions on others and have several close friends who have had terminations. I will say while I believe anyone can have an unplanned pregnancy and choose termination, no problem with that but I do draw the line at this being used as the sole means of birth control ( someone having numerous terminations because they couldn't be bothered using BC). To think that people can be fired for using BC just flaws me. Here most employers would welcome it as it means less maternity leave having to be paid!
 

Ginkai

New member
Mar 20, 2012
168
0
Brisbane, Australia
Parrots
Eastern Galah - Suki Lala 10 months old
Greyhound Cross - Max 7 years old
Great Dane Cross - Marque 2 years old
Rats -Lola 1yr old, Tsuyu, Enya, Fury all 6 months old, Cookie 8 weeks
Move to australia guys! None of that crazy stuff happens here. We even had a female prime minister. Woman have almost totally equal rights and birth control is very encouraged here. I wouldn't be able to survive in these places your talking about as I am also feminist, pro-life and pro birth control.
 

HalfInsane

New member
Dec 23, 2011
420
0
British Columbia, Canada
Parrots
Pixel: female senegal, hatched Dec 15, 2011
Woah. Woah... seriously? I know Canada is pretty liberal compared to the States. But I can't believe that. I knew the Catholic church was not okay with birth control, but a whole state? I can't fathom it.
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #16
Yeah. Its really disheartening. I respect everyone's right to their own personal views and beliefs as long as it doesn't dictate government policy (such as this does, IMO) or is unwillingly put upon those who do not share those beliefs. Keep religion out of politics, is my motto.

See... how am I going to fit in down there?? :(
 

luvmytooo

New member
Dec 22, 2011
1,914
1
New York
Parrots
*Yoshi* Goffins Cockatoo
* Rosie*Rose Breasted Galah
*Stella*Hyacinth Macaw
*Baby*Catalina Macaw

*Multiple Parakeets*
WOW !!! That is something I didn't know ! It sounds so barbaric IMO.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this :(
Maybe if you do go , you may not have to stay for very long , your hubby could get a offer somewhere else .
 

HalfInsane

New member
Dec 23, 2011
420
0
British Columbia, Canada
Parrots
Pixel: female senegal, hatched Dec 15, 2011
Yeah. Its really disheartening. I respect everyone's right to their own personal views and beliefs as long as it doesn't dictate government policy (such as this does, IMO) or is unwillingly put upon those who do not share those beliefs. Keep religion out of politics, is my motto.

See... how am I going to fit in down there?? :(

I 100% agree. But I'm sure not everyone there is a crazy fanatic; you'll meet some people you get along with. They may not agree with you on everything, but if you can agree to disagree and leave politics out of matters, you should be okay. Besides, there's gotta be someone there who feels those sorts of laws are dated/backwards! All the same, best of luck.
 
OP
KatherineI

KatherineI

New member
Mar 27, 2012
979
Media
1
0
Seattle, WA
Parrots
Loki (GCC) Sugar (Goffins)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #19
Thanks guys. It just burns me up that they're doing things like this and I have no control over it and yet it affects me, ya know? And it's worse when you feel stuck :(
 

Remy

New member
Jul 13, 2011
1,905
1
California
Parrots
Darcy (Golden-Collared Macaw), Puck (Caique - RIP)
That crap PASSED? I can't believe it. I remember reading it a while back. I was considering a college in AZ, but that makes up my mind for good. I don't even use birth control (well, I use a barrier, but that's it), but I think it should be available.

Maybe you could have somebody ship it to you from out of state. How good does your current doctor know you? Some doctors are cool and will do stuff like that, especially if you have been seeing them a while. I know a naturopath who used to smuggle some herb to her patients while it was illegal (it later got re-legalized, whatever it was). Or maybe you know a nurse who could help you out? I wonder if you could order it from one of those online pharmacies. For some of them, you just have to have a record of a recent check up, and a good explanation, and you can order medication. If they won't ship to you, maybe you can ship to an out-of-state friend who can ship it to you. You could totally manage to smuggle in some birth control.
 

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top