faeryphoebe1
New member
Warning: this is long.
I have no friends, no one to talk to, so I hope that I don't offend anyone by posting this here.
I've been in an abusive relationship for years. Believe it or not, I didn't realize that I was in an abusive relationship until recently.
The abuse began to escalate last year after I found out that my husband was having an affair. He has promised many times to stop hurting me. Sometimes months will pass and he's fine, until out of the blue he loses his temper and things get ugly.
Well, last night was one of those times. I got off work at 2:30 am and went to buy a few groceries. I bought some food for the family as well as strawberries, grapes, lettuce and carrots.
Everyone was sleeping when I got home, so I brought the groceries in from my car and it was about 3:30 am. The kitchen was a mess, so I had to tidy it up a bit so that I could make room for the groceries. I threw out the garbage, cleaned my hands and was washing the fruits and veggies when he startled me by stomping into the kitchen.
I should digress by saying that when I get home, I usually go and close the bedroom door so as not to wake him, but not last night. I was happily washing the grapes and strawberries when he came blazing in, screaming, saying that I was making too much noise. He began slamming cabinet doors and telling me that his sleep had been interrupted.
Suddenly, his eyes averted to the fruits and veggies and he began screaming more loudly, saying that I wasted our money on feeding the parrots. Trying to explain to him that the kids and I also eat these foods didn't help.
I guess I went too far by telling him that I wasn't exactly painting the town red with money on new clothes, new shoes or a new hairdo.
Well he grabbed me by my head and screamed in my face. When he let go, I walked away and stood facing him with my back to the kitchen sink. He then grabbed my shoulders and pushed me hard against the tile counter until I screamed from the pain. He let go and apologized while I sat sobbing on the floor.
He gave me some b.s. story about how he had suffered a mini stroke but didn't want me to worry, so he didn't tell me, and since he was super stressed and I had pushed all the wrong buttons, he had lost control. I just sat there stunned, in pain and grateful that our kids slept through it all.
I've tried to leave before. He hides my keys or physically restrains me. I could move in with my mom but she's a very controlling, a religious fanatic and is also quite mean, although not physically abusive.
I think my only choice (to be able to be on my own) is to pull my kids out of private school so that I can support the 3 of us on my sole income. The home locks can be changed when he's at work. The big thing stopping me is that FINALLY my kids are in a special needs school for ADHD. It's expensive but it's helping them a lot. Unfortunately, the public schools in my area have a lot of gang members, so if I pull the kids out of their school, I prefer to home school them, which my mom is very adamantly against.
I feel torn, hopeless and pretty worthless. My kids, fids and pets are the only ones who bring joy to my life. I feel trapped, embarrassed and stupid. And my back is really hurting.
I have no friends, no one to talk to, so I hope that I don't offend anyone by posting this here.
I've been in an abusive relationship for years. Believe it or not, I didn't realize that I was in an abusive relationship until recently.
The abuse began to escalate last year after I found out that my husband was having an affair. He has promised many times to stop hurting me. Sometimes months will pass and he's fine, until out of the blue he loses his temper and things get ugly.
Well, last night was one of those times. I got off work at 2:30 am and went to buy a few groceries. I bought some food for the family as well as strawberries, grapes, lettuce and carrots.
Everyone was sleeping when I got home, so I brought the groceries in from my car and it was about 3:30 am. The kitchen was a mess, so I had to tidy it up a bit so that I could make room for the groceries. I threw out the garbage, cleaned my hands and was washing the fruits and veggies when he startled me by stomping into the kitchen.
I should digress by saying that when I get home, I usually go and close the bedroom door so as not to wake him, but not last night. I was happily washing the grapes and strawberries when he came blazing in, screaming, saying that I was making too much noise. He began slamming cabinet doors and telling me that his sleep had been interrupted.
Suddenly, his eyes averted to the fruits and veggies and he began screaming more loudly, saying that I wasted our money on feeding the parrots. Trying to explain to him that the kids and I also eat these foods didn't help.
I guess I went too far by telling him that I wasn't exactly painting the town red with money on new clothes, new shoes or a new hairdo.
Well he grabbed me by my head and screamed in my face. When he let go, I walked away and stood facing him with my back to the kitchen sink. He then grabbed my shoulders and pushed me hard against the tile counter until I screamed from the pain. He let go and apologized while I sat sobbing on the floor.
He gave me some b.s. story about how he had suffered a mini stroke but didn't want me to worry, so he didn't tell me, and since he was super stressed and I had pushed all the wrong buttons, he had lost control. I just sat there stunned, in pain and grateful that our kids slept through it all.
I've tried to leave before. He hides my keys or physically restrains me. I could move in with my mom but she's a very controlling, a religious fanatic and is also quite mean, although not physically abusive.
I think my only choice (to be able to be on my own) is to pull my kids out of private school so that I can support the 3 of us on my sole income. The home locks can be changed when he's at work. The big thing stopping me is that FINALLY my kids are in a special needs school for ADHD. It's expensive but it's helping them a lot. Unfortunately, the public schools in my area have a lot of gang members, so if I pull the kids out of their school, I prefer to home school them, which my mom is very adamantly against.
I feel torn, hopeless and pretty worthless. My kids, fids and pets are the only ones who bring joy to my life. I feel trapped, embarrassed and stupid. And my back is really hurting.