need some opinions

I was in a discussion with a friend and the subject of depression came up.

My friend believes that depression is like the flu and that you have to want to get rid of it and no one but yourself can cure depression.

Personally I think depression is a mental illness that can be managed with the right combination of medicine, counseling and keeping chemicals in balance. I think depression can be a life long illness and cannot just be "cured" if the person decides they don't want to be depressed anymore.

I have suffered from depression most of my life. There have been times I was able to manage it though lifestyle, there have been times when I needed medication and there have been times where I needed more intervention though counseling. I feel strongly that depression is a mental illness that cannot be cured.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.

Oh I don't doubt some major symptoms needs medication to control it a bit better. But I feel everyone knows what they're doing even under stress in depression mode. I've been there before as I had a rough childhood being abused and all. But even under medication I knew what I was doing. I've taken myself off meds since 2001 after some medication side effects start popping up. I wanted to take control of my life so I got off the meds, at first I had withdrawal symptoms but I dealt with it. I learned to control my emotions to a certain extent except I do get emotional easily. I did not like how I was like under meds as it turned me into a cold person. Today I am in full control of my life and deal with everything accordingly. But to have someone who you can talk to really helps to eliminate a lot of the stress plus you need to be strong within and willingness to help yourself is the only way you can get better.

I have the same view- that depression is a mental illness that can't really be cured...you just have to figure out how to "manage" it. I have dealt with major depression for at least 10 years, if not more. I have tried several different medications; some work better than others, but they always changed ME (if that makes sense?). The last time I took medication for it, I was taking two different meds which ultimately led to me having a grand mal seizure in the middle of Costco with my baby strapped to my chest. My husband was there, and there just *happened* to be two ladies in the same aisle that had finished seizure training the day before.

So, since then I have not and will not take any more medications for my depression. I find other ways to cope; I try to make it a point to do things every day that make me happy, that bring me joy and peace....some days are harder than others, but with a strong support system it's do-able.

Each depression is different. Not one person is the same from the next one. Some fight depression their entire life, some try and cope without meds, others try with meds. There is never a guarantee that the first meds will work, OR the second or third for that matter. It is all trial and error, as SO much is still learned about the human psyche, and how different drugs affect people differently.

After losing my mom, and after having had a rather traumatic experience in my life on top of losing my mom, I became quite depressed. And I was unable to "snap" myself out of it. I sought help and was put on antidepressants. The doctor told me I had to give the meds at least a month before reporting back. Well, within that month I turned into a zombie. No joke! I felt NOTHING. Neither happy nor sad. Absolutely nothing. There were other side effects as well, which I won't discuss, but to make a VERY long story short, the meds messed me up. I was put on different meds - same story. So we tried yet a third different prescription - deja vous all over.

The doctor and I tried for almost a year to get the right drugs to do their job, but after living in Zombiland for an entire year, I had enough.

Unfortunately some of the side effects caused by those antidepressants never went away.

But, I am once again back to being all over the place. I am a very emotional person. When I'm happy everyone knows it. The same goes for the other extreme.

Whether depression is an illness or not is not debatable. It's in the med books. There's no question that it's an illness and you can't will it away any more than you can any other illness.

How it should be treated is a different story. What works for one person doesn't work for others. I've known people who've had great success with meds and others who did better with counseling and some who did best with a combination.

If anyone tells you that you can cure yourself by thought alone I'd dump that friend.

I was diagnosed with what was then called manic depression when I was 12 years old. In my teens, I took Lithium, which did to me what Wendy's meds did to her - I was numb, wasn't happy or sad. A zombie.It was horrible. As soon as I was old enough I stopped taking the meds, because for me taking them was worse than dealing with the depression. I was fortunate, I was manic far more than I was depressed. The highs were great, nothing could get me down. But the lows, as I am sure you know, were horrendous.

I also heard the same thing you were told - my friends used to tell me to just snap out of it, as if I had a choice in how I felt. To me there is no question that depression is a mental illness, and what works for one person does not work for the next. I do think that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain that medication can help sometimes. I think it is up to the person who is suffering to decide if the side effects are worth it.

As I got older, my mood swings slowed down. They still happen, but not as frequently as when I was younger. Thank goodness for that.

People who have diabetes are not questioned when they need medication, nor are they told that they can cure themselves. Unfortunately there is still a double standard where mental health is concerned.

I have to say it! It feels so darned cosy, reading this thread! I am not alone! Love you guys! <3 <3 <3

Anxiety struck me when I was fourteen years old. Without any way of learning to control it, depression soon followed and has been a part of my life ever since. I'm guessing the black days that followed the births of both my children were PND, but no one discussed it with me so I'll never know. I've taken meds for - hmmm - twenty years now. They keep a hat on the depression. Mostly. I mean, I'm not sad or distressed or anxious. What I am is - nothing. Numb. Empty. Blank page. Reading this thread has made me realise the meds have indeed turned me into a zombie! I'm going to have a big think about this and see if I might make some changes there.

The other thing is that I eventually agreed (after fifteen or so years) to see a therapist about my anxiety. My word. What a difference that made! It only took me three sessions to be able to manage a loathsome and debilitating anxiety that had stopped me from basically going out and living my life. FIFTEEN bloody years I wasted and within three weeks, I was able to control the anxiety and conquer it. It's not gone: I don't expect it ever will be. The difference is, I know I can manage it to a level where I'm not worried by it. FREEDOM!!!

The last comment I'll make is that my depression completely left me three times in my life. The first was the day I left home to go to Uni (four hundred miles away). I was too busy and engaged to even think of how I felt! The second was the day I got my job as a computer consultant for an Apple agency. Again, I was too busy and productive to even pause. The third time was when I married (at the advanced age of thirty-eight). Each of these periods were times of great change and thought and planning. Somehow, I think my brane was rewiring itself in a way. What always brought the depression back was things that destroyed hope. So, an unplanned teen pregnancy; the loss of a relationship and then the loss of my darling Dad to throat cancer.

I firmly believe there's an expectation in modern living that everything should be plain sailing every day: there is no sad; only happy. In older times, people expected life to be tough and they weren't surprised when it got darned nigh impossible. What did they do? They worked harder! These days, we don't expect to raise a sweat in our working day. We expect long periods of leisure. We expect the sun to shine all the time. So, in my mind at least, a lot of relief has been gained by accepting that life isn't always sunny, but the sun will surely rise again.

My heart goes out to all of you who suffer the Black Dog of depression: it's not something anyone would choose for themselves, but it can be managed or improved. You just have to be willing to try and try again.

PS. Just thought I'd add: for those of you who have never had depression, it's not sadness. It's a gradual lessening of certain pathways in the brain until a point is reached where energy levels are at a ground-breaking low and optimism is no longer possible. Oftentimes, sufferers sleep all the time. Others can't sleep at all. Focus and concentration are impossible, memory lapses occur, mistakes are made and, rather than being sad or angry or 'low', people report they feel nothing. Just... nothing... if it's combined with anxiety, other charming symptoms happen. Digestive upsets, skin rashes, loss of hair, loss of appetites, loss of motivation - all these are part and parcel of depression. So, if someone you know has depression, please don't ask them to 'snap out of it'. Don't you think they would if they could?

One thing I'd caution anyone who is taking meds and intends to stop, please, please, please advise your doctor so they can tell you the way to wean off them. Cold turkey can cause a world of hurt with some meds.

I was so caught up when typing my previous response, I forgot to mention something that I wanted to.
I think therapy and counseling can be very beneficial. I was an inpatient in a mental hospital at 14 for 8 months, but that time the therapy didn't help at all...In those days they were more interested in keeping you drugged up instead of counseling. However, when I was in my early thirties, after multiple suicide attempts I did seek therapy again and I found it quite helpful. The therapist was able to help me learn more about myself and my triggers, so to speak. He was able to help me to make changes in my behaviour when I was in a depression that made it a little easier to deal with.

Thank you for starting this thread, it is wonderful to not feel alone in this.

True depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, someone who thinks it's like flu has clearly not taken the time to educated themselves about what depression actually is.

My best friend is great when she's taking her depression pills, but when she's not she'll feel really depressed and even start crying and she has no idea why. She usually calls me and we hang out so I can distract her and so she doesn't have to be alone with those dreadful feelings.

As I figured the majority of people that have experienced depression and people that are familiar with the disorder believe that it IS a disorder that cannot be cured but can be managed. Whether it be though medication, counseling, diet, using a light box, what ever is prescribed that works the condition can be managed. Sometimes it feels like some kind of guessing game and have to try to see what will work. Trial and error until that sweet spot is found.

I can totally agree with some medications stripping away part of your personality hence what I call the zombie effect. Zoloft did that with me and I could not write and be creative while taking that. I had to be taken off of it for a sleep disorder test and I was amazed how much that drug stripped me of my personality. I felt "flat lined" no ups and no downs. This past fall/winter when I fell into such severe depression I was suicidal I ended up in a day program for three weeks. I knew they were going to want to put me on a antidepressant and I voiced very strongly what zoloft and their kind did to me. I explained to them although I understood I needed something I didn't want to go back on that class of drug. My doctor suggested a totally different class of drug that is Bupropion. I take a generic version of Wellbutrin a drug used to help people quit smoking. Just bizarre huh? For me this class of drug does not strip my personality and has helped me get back on track with my depression. I also was getting a lot of help though the day program and was taught a lot of different skills dealing with depression and ways to help myself move on with my life (I suffered a traumatic event in early November). I am probably sharing too much personal information on a public form but if I can get information that is useful to help someone else I do not mind sharing.

This year my depression was the worst it has ever been. There have been years where I was able to manage it myself, there have been years I have had to go on medication but this year has been the worst for me and I almost didn't make it. Depression is nothing to fool around with and play guessing game on your own. I feel the older I get the worse it is for me to "handle it on my own" and I have to seek outside help for it.

And I'm GLAD you seek help!!!! Sometimes with certain people that are stubborn, they won't admit to it and refuse to seek help as everyone around them suffer for it. Or they would go into the deep end and doing something they would regret. By seeking help you face that you have an issue that needs help with.

Do you have someone close to you that you can talk to???? By talking it out with someone that will listen, it will help to eliminate a lot of the stress. If not, you can always prvt me and I'll listen as I'm a good listener. And I can do phone calls too, but usually after midnight when I'm able to.

For right now you need to try to listen to some soft music and practice meditation. Proper exercise will help you with a lot of the issues too as well. The food you eat will matter as well so try to eat healthy. Then when you relax, take a hot bubble bath and burn some vanilla candle to relax yourself as it soothes you.