So frustrated!!!

Kinny · Mar 8, 2014

So I went to the Hospital a few days ago to get checked out (pregnant with #3) and the Midwife talked to me like I was not only a first-time-Mum but a stupid one! (first time mums in the first place should not be treated as silly or stupid anyway) I know exactly what the CTG machine does, I know exactly what noises it makes means.. I know a great deal about what happens in pregnant womens bodies and what things mean... and I just needed one thing checked but she refused to check it!!! I could be in preterm labour but because baby is ok and the medication I'm taking is keeping the tightening of contractions under control, apparently I'm perfectly ok... Even though I'm getting nearly every other preterm labour sign! But no.. apparently I'm ok.. I even told her that with my last pregnancy the ONLY POSSIBLE way the Doctors/Midwives could tell if I was in labour was to check my cervix.. but this Midwife said since my belly isn't FULLY tightening (my belly starts to tighten but due to meds working they don't get very far...and even though I had the low back pain waves and other things every 5 minutes)..I'm fine. Nothing to worry about...

*eye twitches* ARGH! And that's not even everything going on!

Sorry but I just have to let it out! I'm too frustrated!!!

Sterling1113 · Mar 8, 2014

Oh no...!!! I'm almost 6 months along with my first, so I hope nothing like that happens, because I won't know what it means!! Eeeeek.
But I agree with your point. You've been through it TWICE, this isn't something that's lightly forgotten.. hehe. Hopefully though everything turns out okay- maybe talk to another specialist just to get an outside opinion? Sending happy thoughts your way, and wishing you a happy and healthy, full-term baby.

Kinny · Mar 8, 2014

Sterling1113 said:
Oh no...!!! I'm almost 6 months along with my first, so I hope nothing like that happens, because I won't know what it means!! Eeeeek.
But I agree with your point. You've been through it TWICE, this isn't something that's lightly forgotten.. hehe. Hopefully though everything turns out okay- maybe talk to another specialist just to get an outside opinion? Sending happy thoughts your way, and wishing you a happy and healthy, full-term baby.

I'm 6 and a half months ^^ Yay so close! I'm sure you'll be alright

My uterus is just silly (Severely Irritable Uterus), so I'm just one of the 'lucky' ones... *eye twitches again*

Exactly! That's not a bad idea actually... Just finding someone else to talk to who knows my history would be rather difficult.

Thankies. ^^ .. IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING! *shakes fist in the air*

Well I don't think I can ever be as stressed as my last pregnancy at 23 weeks when my previous Doctor thought my waters had broken and the first thing she said when she entered my Hospital room was "Your baby is going to die." ..... ..... Ended up having him full term

But oh goodness, After that I don't think anything could ever upset me quite so much - so I guess that's a good thing..? My stress will only go so far...

Sterling1113 · Mar 8, 2014

Oh lord, someone who reacts like *that* in an emergency should NOT be a healthcare professional, especially not one tending to hormonal, emotional, pregnant women!!
I haven't had any physical problems yet, (No morning sickness, cramping, swollen joints, etc) but my anxiety has been through the ROOF! So I guess it evens out, eh? Can't have my cake and eat it too... (Cause I'll cry about being fat and swelling up like a balloon..) Hehe. I can totally identify with you though(in a less experienced way) hehe.

MangieSun · Mar 8, 2014

That is ashame. I am mom of four plus had two early losses. I have an irritable uterus as well and have to be on meds about 14 weeks on. My contractions even on the meds changed my cervix. I had preterm labor issues twice (held labor off until term tho) but even with meds on preg number three, I went for my regular appointment at 36weeks and was walking around at 6cm dilated. I was sent to l&d and delivered after they broke my water. Luckily I had an amazing doctor who never brushed me off. And it's a good thing because I would have surely delivered in the car at some point.

If you have no reason to think your water is broken then i'd ask for an internal check. Or an ultrasound to check for cervical thinning. It's not cool to keep you worrying.

Kinny · Mar 8, 2014

Sterling1113 said:
Oh lord, someone who reacts like *that* in an emergency should NOT be a healthcare professional, especially not one tending to hormonal, emotional, pregnant women!!
I haven't had any physical problems yet, (No morning sickness, cramping, swollen joints, etc) but my anxiety has been through the ROOF! So I guess it evens out, eh? Can't have my cake and eat it too... (Cause I'll cry about being fat and swelling up like a balloon..) Hehe. I can totally identify with you though(in a less experienced way) hehe.

Indeed! A few people have said I should report her (as she was not very nice on multiple occasions) but some other women really like her, so I guess I was just the unlucky one that she, for some reason, despised?

YAY! LUCKY YOU!

Ah... making up for the physical relaxation by being mentally NOT-relaxed ay?

Anxiety is no fun! LOL! I'm already complaining here and there, "Oh look at all this FAT!!" and I'll grab a tiny amount of fat I gained from the last pregnancy.. ^^ *hugs*

MangieSun said:
That is ashame. I am mom of four plus had two early losses. I have an irritable uterus as well and have to be on meds about 14 weeks on. My contractions even on the meds changed my cervix. I had preterm labor issues twice (held labor off until term tho) but even with meds on preg number three, I went for my regular appointment at 36weeks and was walking around at 6cm dilated. I was sent to l&d and delivered after they broke my water. Luckily I had an amazing doctor who never brushed me off. And it's a good thing because I would have surely delivered in the car at some point.

If you have no reason to think your water is broken then i'd ask for an internal check. Or an ultrasound to check for cervical thinning. It's not cool to keep you worrying.

Oh my.. I needed to go on the meds at 15 weeks but apparently I wasn't uncomfortable enough. Oh dear, see that is what I am concerned is happening at the moment.. I feel far too 'open'. (maybe a little TMI..) When I walk around today I have to slightly waddle because I feel so 'full'. Oh so lucky! My new Doctor is FAR better than my last, but i still don't think he takes me quite seriously enough.

I keep worrying that my waters will break but with both previous pregnancies they had to be ruptured by the midwives, so I think I may have very strong waters. Mmmm... I still feel paranoid though..

MangieSun · Mar 8, 2014

. I know the paranoid feeling well. But if you are really concerned you have every right to go to an emergency room. Better safe then sorry and sometimes we ladies know our bodies far more than any doctor.

MomtoPercy · Mar 8, 2014

You SHOULD report her, the bloody cow!

I get SO upset when I hear stories like this - we trust these people to look out for us and to be treatted like that is inexcuseable! Grrrr...

Irrispective of her opinion, EACH pregnancy is unique and a mother KNOWS! My mom tells me I almost died in utero because a nurse brushed mom's concerns aside. Mom was in early labour and already in hospital waiting for things to progress. She kept on telling the nurse that 'something is not right' (I was also a first baby) butt the nurrse kept saying 'just relax, this is your first child, you don't know anything'. WELL, when the doc eventually arrived and lifted the blankets, mom was lying in a pool of blood and he couldn't hear my heartbeat. Turns out - had the umbilical cord around my neck and couldn't come out of the birthing canal at all. The doc fortunately did what was necessary and I survived (obviously

) but I was born "dark blue" according to mom and even being abig baby of 8lb I spent a long time in an incubator to make sure I was ok. I am glad to report, the doc had that nurse fired and scrapped from the medical roll.

I didn't want to hijack your thread with my life story

but I wanted to illustrate that med profs don't know the way a mother KNOWS. Insist they check and if it is nothing, fabulous.

Good luck!

Sterling1113 · Mar 8, 2014

MomtoPercy said:
You SHOULD report her, the bloody cow! I get SO upset when I hear stories like this - we trust these people to look out for us and to be treatted like that is inexcuseable! Grrrr...

Irrispective of her opinion, EACH pregnancy is unique and a mother KNOWS! My mom tells me I almost died in utero because a nurse brushed mom's concerns aside. Mom was in early labour and already in hospital waiting for things to progress. She kept on telling the nurse that 'something is not right' (I was also a first baby) butt the nurrse kept saying 'just relax, this is your first child, you don't know anything'. WELL, when the doc eventually arrived and lifted the blankets, mom was lying in a pool of blood and he couldn't hear my heartbeat. Turns out - had the umbilical cord around my neck and couldn't come out of the birthing canal at all. The doc fortunately did what was necessary and I survived (obviously ) but I was born "dark blue" according to mom and even being abig baby of 8lb I spent a long time in an incubator to make sure I was ok. I am glad to report, the doc had that nurse fired and scrapped from the medical roll.

I didn't want to hijack your thread with my life story but I wanted to illustrate that med profs don't know the way a mother KNOWS. Insist they check and if it is nothing, fabulous.

Good luck!

Wow, I guess I feel really lucky that the woman I'm adopting my boy to is my nurse, so she has no reason not to listen to me if I say something is up. Hopefully things will go smoothly (For both our sake's!) :52:

Kinny · Mar 8, 2014

MangieSun, thanks

i think I will call the Dr... My headache is worse and the pressure is immense. Not really helping to keep me relaxed -_-

MomtoPercy... Well she immediately began explaining all the different ways my son would die.. Like how I'd have to push out a dead child, he would die while i pushed him out, he'd survive the childbirth then die in my arms or in the NICU..etc. Was NOT pleasant..and my poor husband walked into the room to see me crying my heart out. The doctor at first wouldn't even fly me to the best hospital in Australia because " they probably won't accept you." She gave up on my son, but i kept going and got that flight regardless.

I don't know what to say... O.O except MY GOODNESS HOW TERRIFYING! And how glad I am that you were saved! *hugs* Silly nurse >.< Very good point.

Oh Sterling that is a relief!

Kinny · Mar 9, 2014

Heading up to the Hospital to get PROPERLY checked this time. Yay! Don't stress about me. You can stress ONLY if i tell you something's wrong.. Deal? ^^ Very goodly.

Kinny · Mar 9, 2014

Please excuse me while I scream in complete and utter frustration ^^ *turns and screeches*

Proper check over - pssh! Popped me on the CTG.. No contractions, baby having a party, but that wasn't my concern. Had an older midwife say my cervix is fine, i asked how she knew without checking it. She said because I'm not having any tightenings. -_- My waves if low back pain are from baby moving same reason for the increasing and sudden pressure (what rubbish!!! I KNOW those pains.. This is NOT that!) She refuses to do a cervical check because I'm not having proper tightening contractions. She called my Dr and told him it was just the Irritable Uterus and anxiety *snarl* of COURSE I'm anxious! I could be going into labour or close to it and you're not treating me properly! *shows you all an image of a cauldron with boiling water about to overflow* this...is me. >=[ ..and that's the short story.

GRAARGH!!! KINNY. NO. HAPPY.

Sterling1113 · Mar 9, 2014

Oh nooooo, no luck elsewhere with a good check?

So I'm allowed to stress about you now, right?

I wish I had some advice, but I'd have no idea what to do .___."
Just.. keep an eye out for anything severely different/wrong? Then high-tail it to the ER and send out a big fat "I TOLD you something was wrong!" to the doctors that said otherwise. I'll sign it too. Hehe.
Best of luck, hope you can relax sometime soon! D:

Kinny · Mar 9, 2014

Not really... Not unless i demand it aggressively :/
Haha, no, no you're not! ^^ I've been thinking the same thing.. If anything DOES happen, that Midwife will be in trouble.. *eye twitches*

Thanks

I'm going to call the hospital where i had both my other children (because they are AMAZING!) and ask the midwives there what they think i should do, since theres only 2 midwives here who i can trust, and even then they aren't nearly as experienced.

MomtoPercy · Mar 9, 2014

OK, I've only had one baby and it was 18 years ago so maybe I'm not experienced enough or maybe I've forgotten...

But, I don't remember that an active fetus causes "waves of back pain"? My baby was BIG (the 2nd biggest baby ever born at that hospital) and very active and I never had waves of pain. A sharp pain in the ribs or bladder when he did some karate in there but not 'waves' (which btw, sound A LOT like contractions to me!).

I am amazed and horrified that, considering your history, they are dismissing your concerns without doing a check!! My eye is also twitching .... And my "b*tch-slappin' hand too!

Please do contact that other hospital and hear what they advise.

Good luck!

Sterling1113 · Mar 9, 2014

Hehe, these doctors better be careful, Kinny's gonna come back with an angry mob of PF mommas to knock some sense into them..:54:

Kinny · Mar 9, 2014

No, MomtoPercy.. You are correct. It doesn't cause regular waves of low back pain. Yeah..only I'm no longer having tight contractions. But the pressure has increased, i kept waking up last night with urges to push.. But today the urges aren't as intense and are further apart. I hate my body -_- lol. Oh wow! How big was he!? Oh yes.. My last child (son) was always kicking my cervix and ribs... They are so kind to us aren't they?

Hahahaha sterling

MomtoPercy · Mar 9, 2014

Kinny, my baby weighed 4.85 kilograms at birth....natural delivery too :54: I HATED my doc for not giving in to my pleas for a ceasar but having had an overectomy a few years back (similar op to a ceasar but without the uterine cut), I'm very glad he stood fast. Recovery was hellishly painful after the overectomy - I can't imagine having to deal with a baby AND that pain

.

The biggest baby born in that hospital was a 5 kilo beast of a GIRL!

Kinny · Mar 10, 2014

WOW!!! And i thought my 4.05kg girl was big!!! O.O ... That pain sounds awful!

What a giant little girl! :O please tell me it wasn't a natural delivery..

Well! Finally got a hold of a midwife at the hospital i had my previous 2 at, (WCH) And that midwife told me to go to the Hospital here - and to not even bother calling them first - then demand to see a Doctor and have the Doctor perform a cervical examination. She said midwives aren't allowed to do an exam on their own, a Doctor must be present. She told me to stand my ground, and that a CTG would be useless as it does NOT show what my cervix is doing. And they need to know now if my cervix is dilating because if it is they need to organise my transfer to them. Because if nothings organised they may not have room for another premature baby. She said my concerns are completely genuine and even a tiny urge to push even just a couple of times - along with everything else going on - warrants a thorough cervical check.

Finally! A good midwife! *is pleased* now to actually be demanding... :S

Sterling1113 · Mar 10, 2014

Best of luck!! Let us know how it goes! Stomp your feet and go on a hormonal rampage! You can do it hehe.

So frustrated!!!

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