Etiquette questions- members who haven't been on in a while?

Kiwibird

Well-known member
Jul 12, 2012
9,539
111
Parrots
1 BFA- Kiwi. Hatch circa 98', forever home with us Dec. 08'
So, there are a couple members who used to be very active on here (and who's posts I found valuable and liked following their birdies) who I haven't seen around in a while:(. They aren't banned, and a few of their profiles show they have logged in, just haven't been posting. Since I don't know why they haven't been on, I don't want to be rude and send them a PM asking whats up if they're having some kind of family issue or be too nosy and PM a moderator to ask either. I am kind of concerned though and wonder how they and their flocks are doing. What would be the proper way to approach seeing how they're doing in your opinion?

Edit: I also don't know if they may have posted something "offensive" or someone else said something rude to them or whatever that I missed before it was deleted...
 
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SilverSage

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Sep 14, 2013
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Columbus, GA
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Eclectus, CAG, BH Pionus, MaximilianÒ€ℒs Pionus, Quakers, Indian Ringnecks, Green Cheeked Conures, Black Capped Conures, Cockatiels, Lovebirds, Budgies, Canaries, Diamond Doves, Zebra Finches, Society F
I can't speak for others, but if I were the member in question I wouldn't be bothered by a polite question asking if everything is ok :)
 

DallyTsuka

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Mar 19, 2011
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Ontario, Canada
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Dallas and Tsukasa (Cockatiels)
Mango and Munchlax (Peach Faced Lovebirds)
i disappear from time to time myself, i would personally find no issue with a polite message :) just "hey, how are you? havent seen you around in awhile, hope all is well!" sorta thing
 
OP
Kiwibird

Kiwibird

Well-known member
Jul 12, 2012
9,539
111
Parrots
1 BFA- Kiwi. Hatch circa 98', forever home with us Dec. 08'
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Thanks! I just didn't want to seem nosy or intrusive, but I really did wonder where these members went (?)
 

getwozzy

New member
Feb 26, 2013
7,218
7
Oregon
I have sent a member a pm before -a "hey haven't seen you on in a while, hope all is well" kind of message... I don't see anything wrong or intrusive about it.... It shows that you care [emoji4]
 

strudel

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Sep 30, 2013
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I posted a thread asking about somebody I noticed "missing". Got a reply from somebody else with some info.

I don't think there's anything wrong with telling members that they are missed, (even if they had stopped posting because they'd "got the hump" over something, whatever it might have been wouldn't have involved EVERYBODY).
 

Featheredsamurai

New member
Aug 24, 2011
4,172
19
California
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African Greg
2 cockatiels
hah! I would do just that. Be off for a long time. but occasional popped in and looked around and see whats going on. I'd rarely comment on anything. Was just very busy with life. But asking how things are going is a great way to break the ice.

I think people sometimes need a break from the internet. And that's a good thing, but it's also ok for us to worry about someone we feel is a friend. Even if we have never met them in person before :)
 

strudel

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Sep 30, 2013
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I think people sometimes need a break from the internet.
Also, when you are a "noobie" to the subject of a forum, you tend to post a lot of questions and that need to ask or seek reassurance can settle over time, when you think you know what you are doing a bit better, or don't worry so much that you are going to kill/ruin/whatever your pet/whatever.
 

SilverSage

New member
Sep 14, 2013
5,937
93
Columbus, GA
Parrots
Eclectus, CAG, BH Pionus, MaximilianÒ€ℒs Pionus, Quakers, Indian Ringnecks, Green Cheeked Conures, Black Capped Conures, Cockatiels, Lovebirds, Budgies, Canaries, Diamond Doves, Zebra Finches, Society F
Also, sometimes something may have happened that put a bad taste in the person's mouth about something, and they may or may not be eager to post again. Sometimes a friendly message would be perfect to smooth things over, whether you were involved or not. Plus, personally, I love knowing that there are other people out there who care about my birdies :)
 

MikeyTN

New member
Feb 1, 2011
13,296
17
Antioch, TN
Parrots
"Willie"&"Lola"B&G Macaw,
"Dixie"LSC2, and "Nico" Scarlet Macaw.
Perhaps they've been too busy to post like me....I work a lot to begin with, but summer time I am just way too busy with all the yard work, building things, etc etc. So I just pop in and out not posting. Plus I do some rescue and training, etc. That keeps me very busy at times as well....
 

pycthedragon

New member
Jun 13, 2014
136
1
michigan
Parrots
Cream, Cookie and Baby, peach faced lovebirds
Sometimes I find myself lurking on other forums. Sometimes people will post less depending on how they either feel about the community, focusing on life, or just looking for information and the appeal of showing off their bird (or whatever other content) wears off.

From what I've seen the community seems pretty nice here (much better than other places I've seen on the internet... you wouldn't believe some of the things people say elsewhere o_O) so it's probably that they are busy or don't have anything to say.
 

Dopey

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Apr 18, 2014
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Maryland
I feel bad posting somtimes becasue I no longer have any parrots and miss them. For health reasons it is not in the parrots best interest or me for me to have parrots. BUT I love this place and I'm addicted to the people and the parrots on here. The spiders...not so much. :D
 

JerseyWendy

New member
Jul 20, 2012
20,995
24
So, there are a couple members who used to be very active on here (and who's posts I found valuable and liked following their birdies) who I haven't seen around in a while:(. They aren't banned, and a few of their profiles show they have logged in, just haven't been posting. Since I don't know why they haven't been on, I don't want to be rude and send them a PM asking whats up if they're having some kind of family issue or be too nosy and PM a moderator to ask either. I am kind of concerned though and wonder how they and their flocks are doing. What would be the proper way to approach seeing how they're doing in your opinion?

Edit: I also don't know if they may have posted something "offensive" or someone else said something rude to them or whatever that I missed before it was deleted...

April, please don't ever hesitate to contact one of the mods if something is on your mind, no matter WHAT, and no matter WHO. :) If it's something we CAN help you with, I assure you, we will. Now IF something has gone on behind the scenes that we may not be able to discuss, then we'll let you know just that (without the details, of course). :)


...

I think people sometimes need a break from the internet. ...

For sure. I know from personal experience I can 'burn out', and then it's better to take a break. :54:
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
From what I've seen the community seems pretty nice here (much better than other places I've seen on the internet... you wouldn't believe some of the things people say elsewhere o_O) so it's probably that they are busy or don't have anything to say.

This + 1000% :)

My experiences on various aviation and automotive forums makes this a nice place to forage with like animal-minded folks. The toxicity that brews at some sites is breathtaking. When some folks get behind a keyboard......
 

Timothy

New member
Aug 16, 2014
475
0
Port Richey, Florida
Parrots
Blue & Gold Macaw [Maya] // Sun Conure Baby [Zippo] // 2 Lovebirds [Nibblet & Nellie]
but it's also ok for us to worry about someone we feel is a friend. Even if we have never met them in person before :)

I have been a gamer for years, and ive made quite a few friends over the internet, which expanded through social media (When that came around)
i am still close friends with 2 people, who i have known for 10 years over the internet, and have never met in person. (Though that is changing next summer, going to have him and his wife stay for a week or so as a sort of vacation)

So for sure, friends can be made over the internet. whether you meet them in person or not. (Its bad these days, kids wil have their friends over and text each other anyway, even in the same room)
 

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