Talking Someone into Doing the Right Thing for Timneh African Grey

I'm still new here, so not sure if I am posting this in the right section but here is the situation I would like some advice on handling...

I can't name names because they own a company I use on my property (they are approved vendors with the company I work for) They have always seemed like great people and I like working with them, but they have a Timneh African Grey that they are not treating right. It has food and water daily so they are not breaking the law, but...

They got him 25 years ago as a just weaned 8 month old baby. He was a birthday "gift" for her husband who had always wanted a "talking parrot" He used to live in the family room and the whole family spent tons of time with him. He spent every evening out with the family, ate with them, played with them and was getting tons of attention.

They told me about him a couple days ago when they came to do some work on the property and they saw Zilla (her cage is about 4 feet inside my living room from my office door which I leave open during the day so her and I can have our conversations)

About 8 or 9 years ago they got a puppy who was always trying to get to the bird so they moved the bird upstairs into a spare bedroom after it bit the puppies nose one day. He has lived in that room alone ever since. She said she gives him fresh seed and water every morning and cleans his cage a couple times a week, but other than that no one spends any time with him anymore!!! Their son works graveyard and complains the bird screams all day and he can't sleep. She is now the only one that can do anything with the bird and everyone else is scared of him because he bites them when they even try to do anything with him, so they don't try. He only gets out of the cage when she is cleaning it, and then only for the time it takes her to clean it. She says if she has any "extra" fruits or veggies she "sometimes" makes the hike up the stairs to give him a couple, but that only happens maybe once a week or so.

They said they have talked about getting rid of him a couple times in the last couple of years, but they just "can't tear themselves away from him"

This has nothing to do with me wanting him, I don't think I am in a position to take on another bird right now. I have to think of Zilla first and do the best I can for her. But I want to do something for this bird (it breaks my heart to know he is living like this)

How can I approach the subject with them without offending them or over stepping professional boundaries? I would love for them to get the point and start treating him right again and if they can't do that, then find him a home where someone would treat him right.

He is 25 years old and deserves to be part of a loving home with people who will treat him right! He still has a long life left and in my opinion he is being abused!

Less than ideal, yes.

Neglected, probably.

Abused? Doesn't sound like it. We throw that word around too loosely.

I've seen abused. Not getting enough attention is neglectful.

That's actually fairly similar to the situation Iris was in. She was visited and fed (correctly) and watered and kept clean, but she too was in an upstairs bedroom with limited interaction, besides the eclectus she lived with but didn't like. It wasn't abusive at all, just benign emotional neglect. She's still very shy, and just likes to hang out and observe. The screaming and biting wasn't an issue with her, and yes, this bird could use a better home.

I know someone with a lorikeet that they keep covered a lot and she's a biter and stinker apparently and I told the owners if she ever needs a home to call me. But that's all you can do.

The sad part of this is it seems that they once loved and cared for him, and now he has just become a habit. If this was a 3 year old child who was kept in a bedroom with very little human contact, was only fed McDonalds except for once a week, this would not be considered to be an acceptable or humane situation. I hope they either realize that they do love him, and make him a part of the family once again, or that they find someone who will love him and give him the attention and love he so richly deserves.

I agree with Birdman on this one. Maybe you could gently suggest if they spent more time with him/her and made him/her part of the family that the bird would most likely scream less.

Though seed and the occasional veggie isn't ideal I literally had a coworker who fed his lory sugar cookies as the main part of his diet. I'd rather see a bird eat seeds than literal junk food.

You might also suggest to them that you could help them if they ever do decide he/she needs a new home.

I really want to start a conversation with them about his care and needs, but it's not a situation where they are just friends or acquaintances, they are business contacts, so I have to be careful about how I do it.

And I don't want them to think I just want them to give him to me. That is not my intention. I have Zilla and she has to come first. My heart says I could take on another bird (I would love to have several), but my brain knows I have to put Zilla first.

I would love for them to make him part of their family again, so he could live out the rest of his life with the family he has known and loved his whole life and be happy and healthy.

Amanda, I agree, technically speaking the bird is not being physically abused, but you knew that already. When you consider how intelligent the bird is, and that he was once treated as a family member and is now exiled upstairs with very little interaction, then it's a very sad situation to say the least. I understand why it's upsetting for you, and the circumstances make it tough to do anything other than watch. I don't know what you can do, unless you discuss it with the owners in a way that won't offend them. I commend you for thinking of Zilla first.

I would agree the Grey is subjected to benevolent neglect but there is always the chance a rehoming could place him in far more unsatisfactory circumstances.

A careful reading of the OP suggests the present owners may be open to an "easy way out". They broached the subject having seen your parrot and discussed life without their Grey. The inability to "tear themselves away" may simply be an emotional artifact without depth.

My suggestion would be to consider whether this bird is the right addition to your home without compromising Zilla's needs. If so, maintain a friendly dialog and evaluate whether they are once again contemplating rehoming him - they may perceive you as ideal as they would maintain contact with the Grey given the business relationship.

If not, it may be best to emotionally disengage knowing that sadly too many unwanted parrots endure worse conditions.

Scott said:

I would agree the Grey is subjected to benevolent neglect but there is always the chance a rehoming could place him in far more unsatisfactory circumstances.

A careful reading of the OP suggests the present owners may be open to an "easy way out". They broached the subject having seen your parrot and discussed life without their Grey. The inability to "tear themselves away" may simply be an emotional artifact without depth.

My suggestion would be to consider whether this bird is the right addition to your home without compromising Zilla's needs. If so, maintain a friendly dialog and evaluate whether they are once again contemplating rehoming him - they may perceive you as ideal as they would maintain contact with the Grey given the business relationship.

If not, it may be best to emotionally disengage knowing that sadly too many unwanted parrots endure worse conditions.

Click to expand...

Exactly.

You don't want him to go from this to, say a flipper or a hoarder...

Uprooting a CAG or a TAG, especially if it's done multiple times after being in a long term stable situation can be very stressful, and can trigger plucking disorders.

Especially if you can't take him...

What exactly are you prepared to offer them? If you can't add anything, or take the bird off their hands should they choose that option, then all you do is potentially upset everyone. (Including your employer.)

I think my best course of action is just to talk about Zilla and her progress and how awesome she is everytime I have the opportunity (not like I need a reason to do that!). They have shown interest in her. And I didn't even know they had a parrot until they saw her on Monday when they were here for some work I needed done.

If things go the way I hope they will maybe I can just get them interested in their bird again. Maybe seeing Zilla and hearing about her will get them wanting to get their bird back into their daily lives again.

While talking about Zilla I can ask questions about their bird, what was he like as a baby (I have not had a baby bird since my parakeet) His personality, favorite foods, and things. Just feel it out and see how it goes. Maybe just opening up a line of communication with someone who has a parrot (me) will spark their interest in him again.

I am also going to recommend this forum to them, by just telling them in conversation how much help I have gotten here and how much fun I have reading the stories from people about their birds.

If they end up wanting to give him up, I would of course take him before I let him go anywhere else. But my ultimate goal is to get them to be a "flock/family" again if I can.

The oblivious answer is to have them join the forum. What better way to make them aware.