Coming to terms with myself.

All you people with your fids. I've been wanting a fid for over 10 years; ever since I was 8 years old in fact, and now, coming to terms with myself today, even if fiance landed job tomorrow(more on that later) I would still realistically be another 18-24 months at the very least before I would be in the position to finally own a bird. I am waiting until I am in my own place, where I would have control of every situation. Not gonna rush out and buy a bird just because I have a lot of extra cash right now. Well not a lot, but my bills are minimal right now. Nor do I begrudge ANY of you, I just am so patiently waiting to share in the joy.

I guess I need to get this out or I'm gonna go nuts with all the thinking about it.
Right now, I'm living with my fiances mom and her bf, and fiance with my cat, our long-term plan is to move out, get our own apartment, but for that, fiance needs to finally get a job, he's looking, somewhat. I'm not gonna push him because he's not gonna be happy with his lot if its not something he wants to do for himself. I'm not angry about this, I was in the same position myself about 18 months ago, did not have that drive to find a job. Then one day it clicked, and I went out and got a job and I've held the same job since.

While I know its gonna take a bit for us to be financially ready to move out, even if he landed a job tomorrow, the time has come for me to finally, finally take the big girl step and... get a car.

My logic: My position at work is basically a Manager, I have the opportunity to co-own/manage a family owned restaurant that I've been working at for the past 18 months. I love working here, love the food, love the people. Its definitely my type of work, especially since I have a great hobby and love for cooking. However, right now my hours are limited mainly because my most reliable source of transportation, is the city bus. Right now it takes me an hour and a half to get to work, I often leave two hours early just to make sure I get that bus. Where does that leave me? Leaving at 10am, just to get to my noon shift on time. I do this there and back five days a week.
Now, while I'd like to work more hours, my boss knows I don't have a lot of flexibility, and such a long commute is very tiring, the last thing he wants me to do, is overwork myself.
I've come to the conclusion I need to start working towards a car, what does it mean for my other dreams? That fund I was setting aside for a future fid, is gonna be transferred over to that. I have to. I cannot get more hours without driving myself, yet giving up my "birdie fund" is gonna set me back on a decade+ long dream I've held most of my childhood. I know it needs to be done, but I have a hard time doing it. However, I know that once I get that car, I can work more hours and save more money... yes? I'm hoping so. I also need to start putting aside funds for moving expenses for when the time comes, which means slower progress on the fid fund. Its a good thing I don't plan on rushing anything. Saving money before I'm even ready to buy a bird, leaves my options wide open to what type of parrot I want.

Speaking of that, my options. I got a good deal excited meeting my first amazon at the bird store, and I admit, I spend a lot of time on the Amazon forum reading about these wacky birds I decided I want an amazon someday. Perhaps as my first bird? Absolutely not. I know better, I know I should not push the odds in buying a naturally loud and feisty parrot, full well knowing I am gonna be in an apartment setting for sometime unknown as well as have housemates. Its a little different when you're in a house, you get an amazon, things go south and you have to move to an apartment. Not to mention I am completely new to parrot-keeping, other than the hours and hours and hours of research I've done online, still a poor substitute for actually interacting with them. Pionus is still highest on my list, and quite honestly after meeting a couple in person, is a bird I would be perfectly happy with. While an Amazon, I may love him to death, but my housemates and neighbors may not. I rarely think of just myself when it comes to animals and how others will react to them. I was the same with my cat.

Other thoughts to the car I was having issues accepting that I need, if I have a car I'll have a much better time transporting my fid, especially since there is only ONE avian specialist in my area, and she is a 35 minute drive away. In the long run its just better I'm able to drive around. Especially when I have such a sensitive animals like a parrot. I've taken my cat in his carrier on the bus before. He didn't mind, but carrying him in his carrier to the bus stop was a project.

Well, I just needed to get this out, I still have fully come to terms with this. But eventually I'll get over myself, I just keep giving myself pep-talks about it. I also need to take advantage of my blessedly easy situation. Living basically for free under someone else's roof, who feeds me and lets me use all the water/heat/electricity I want without making me pay a dime. I should get all my big goals(except the bird) done now while I don't need to pay bills. >.<

Edit: OMG, wall of text, sorry D:

First, know you are absolutely doing the right thing waiting. That right there tells me you grasp the level of commitment a parrot is and are dedicated to providing your (future) bird a good life. Theres no competition on who gets a bird soonest. There will always be babies and rescues in need of good homes too. If you can't provide proper care at this time, thats not shameful or wrong, it is what it is. I hate to put it this way, but pets are LUXURIES. No one "needs" a pet and when you don't (yet) live on your own, have a car to get to work, have a savings ext... getting another animal to care for should be low on your list of priorities in life at the moment. When you learn to set goals and prioritize, the good things in life will follow suit.

For example, 6 months down the road lets say you've saved enough to buy a car. Now that you have said car, you can (as you said) spend less time commuting, work more hours or get a second part time job and can finally move into your own place with your extra wages! And once you're more independent and have gotten your essentials for living on your own, then you can saving for a bird and (possibly) get some hands on experience with real parrots by volunteering at an avian shelter without needing to take one home until you're ready

Also try to keep in mind (2 of my favorite quotes), "good things come to those who wait" and "patience is a virtue". I know just how hard it can be when you're mentally and emotionally ready for things that are still far off in your financial future:31: It is really, really tough to do the right thing and not rush, to save up and to be patient rather than get yourself in a financial (or worse) mess. The future is always unpredictable. I have been trying to upgrade Kiwis cage for a long time, but things just keep coming up. I finally got a good chunk saved, and hubbys car broke down. Unfortunately, he needed a running car more than Kiwi needed a fancier, palatial cage (his is fine). Glad we didn't rush out and buy a cage on a credit card or something, or we'd be up a proverbial creek without a paddle right now trying to pay off a luxury (cage) and a necessity (car). It was a setback to getting the cage, but a very good thing we had the money to repair the car and din't have to make payments or eat beans and rice for the next 3 months! It's frustrating, aggravating and makes you feel bad about yourself and your situation sometimes. You just have to remember, eventually you WILL get a bird if you truly desire to own one. And when you bring that bird home with the knowledge you can truly provide lifetime care, it will be a million times more amazing than had you rushed and got into a situation where you were forced to rehome. Keep up the good work, research and planning!

Thanks, that helps a lot actually. When I really want something I devote my whole heart and mind to it. Sometimes I spend 8-10 hours a day reading up on here about parrots or researching the internet, before I even notice I spent so much time perusing one particular subject. I even surprise myself with the depth of my passion for companion birds. I'm also truly feeling that when I do go back to school for veterinary medicine, I should go ahead an specialize in avian. Not only do we need more avian vets in this area, I think it would provide me with a lifelong satisfying career doing something I love, working with birds. :3

Two thumbs up!!
It's great that you're taking your time and being realistic. I know what you mean; I really want to buy a Galah Cockatoo right now! But I simply can't. I have other priorities at the moment. When those are taken care of, then I will begin searching for my Galah.
And I spend way too much time researching on the computer....I can't stop learning.
And I was lucky enough to actually handle a few Galahs at the Parrot Fair, so I know how loud they can be and what kind of sounds they make. And I happen to be okay with their noise level.

I think you could begin searching for the species you want to bring home one day. Try to find local Avian rescues, breeders, bird shops, and bird fairs. You will be able to handle many different species and find out which parrots you like. That's what I did, and it helped me a TON. Even now that I know which species I'll be bringing home in the next six months, I enjoy handling other species; it allows me to learn more about handling larger parrots (which is what I'll be bringing home).

I wish you luck on your journey!

There is an avian rescue a couple miles from my house. I was planning on checking it out, but too often I'm so tired on my days off. perhaps in January, when I get my month vacation from work.