Grandma Update

Amanda_Bennett

New member
Sep 27, 2014
1,272
2
Gresham, OR
Parrots
Zilla 29 Y.O. Orange Wing Amazon
She passed away this after noon about 5:30pm.

My Mom was with her but I didn't make it in time.

Feeling really guilty for not being there. I had appointments this morning and then ran errands. Had just gotten home from the grocery store when Mom called to tell me to hurry. I had planned on going tomorrow and spending the majority of the day with her.

Zilla got no out of cage time today and is super mad at me. I very unceremoniously dumped her fresh dinner in her dish gave her a treat and was out the door 15 minutes after getting home with the groceries. She was already asleep when I got back and refused to come out, she just wanted to be covered up and left alone.
 

RavensGryf

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Jan 19, 2014
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College Station, Texas
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Red Bellied Parrot /
Ruppell's Parrot /
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English Budgie
Amanda, I'm very sorry to hear of your grandma's passing... Losing a close loved one is one of the toughest things on earth to endure. I pray that you and your mother find strength and peace during this difficult time.

Poor Zilla had no idea what was happening... These schedules happen sometimes, and my birdies just roll with it ;).
 

Allee

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Oct 27, 2013
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U2-Poppy(Poppy lives with her new mommy, Misty now) CAG-Jack, YNA, Bingo, Budgie-Piper, Cockatiel-Sweet Pea Quakers-Harry, Sammy, Wilson ***Zeke (quaker) Twinkle (budgie) forever in our hearts
Oh Amanda, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Deepest condolences for you and your family. Please don't agonize over not being there, you had no control over the circumstances and no way of knowing. I'm glad you're mother was with her as hard as that must have been for her.

Zilla may have been miffed, but she will forgive you be sunrise. In my personal experience animal companions are wonderful grief counselors. Zilla will be there for you and you won't have to say a word. Hugs to you, My Friend.
 

Terry57

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Nov 6, 2013
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Amanda, I am so very sorry. I am glad your Mom was able to be there with her, and your Grandma had you there with her in her heart.
Zilla will forgive you and be a comfort to you, I am sure.
I am also sure that Sunny was there to greet your Grandma today.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

Bundiibird

Active member
Mar 9, 2013
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Bundiibird - Alex - hatched 31/08/09
& Millie - BFA - hatched 29/10/14 & Willow - CAG - hatched 30/10/19
Amanda, so very sorry to hear about the passing of your grandma. She is now at peace and I am glad that your mom was there with her at the time. You were not to know that it would happen at that point, and I am sure your grandma knew that you had her in your heart.

Zilla will be fine by morning. Please do not put any additional stresses on yourself at such a hard time. Zilla will be fine and she will provide you with plenty of comfort in the days/weeks to come.

Many hugs to you and many condolences to your family. :(
 

LeaKP

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Aug 11, 2014
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So sorry Amanda, it's never the right time to lose a loved one. Don't beat yourself up.

Thinking of you!
 

Sunset_Chaser

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Sep 25, 2014
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Minnesota
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Sorry for your loss, please don't feel guilty about not being there. I'm sure your Grandma knew you loved her. She is in a better place! Thinking of you and your family!
 

DoodlesMom

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Nov 25, 2014
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Phoenix,Arizona
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GCC >Doodle
Amanda, find comfort knowing your Mom was there at her passing and Grandma is re-united with family who also passed. She is looking down at her precious grand-daughter with love.

Zilla will understand, animals have an uncanny sense of knowing our hearts and feelings....she'll be a comfort at this time.

My prayers are with you and your family. Hugs to you.
I'm so sorry. Marianne
 

Ann333

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Jan 8, 2015
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New Mexico
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--PUMPKIN - male YS GCC. Hatched Halloween Day 2014. Came home Jan. 4, 2015. Started talking in July '15!

-BUTTERNUT- female TYS GCC Hatched in late Jan. 2016 and came home March 14, 2016
I'm so sorry. Thoughts sent your way.
 

4dugnlee

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Apr 27, 2014
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So sorry for your loss. Know that your grandma is in a much better place and is not suffering any longer. Zilla will come around...you'll see. Prayers your way for you and your family.
 

Dopey

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Apr 18, 2014
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Amanda - I am so sorry for your loss. I know that it is easy for you to feel guilty but believe me...if your Grandmother had wanted you to be there to say goodbye she would have waited for you to get there. I've seen it happen. Another thing to consider is that her bird may have known her time was coming and left this earth ahead of her so that you and your mom wouldn't have to worry about taking care of him when her time came.

Prayers for you, your mom, your family and her friends. God is with you.
 
OP
Amanda_Bennett

Amanda_Bennett

New member
Sep 27, 2014
1,272
2
Gresham, OR
Parrots
Zilla 29 Y.O. Orange Wing Amazon
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #19
Thank you all for being out there for me, this is such a hard time. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but that's the hard part...All the "what if's" and "why didn't I's"

Mom is taking it really hard and I am so worried about her. Her health hasn't been the best lately and she already wasn't taking care of herself right, now she is beating herself up for not being there sooner and not doing more.

Mom's siblings (all except one) are being total jerks, blaming Mom for not calling them sooner so they could be there. Only the one who is being nice and understanding has even visited Grandma in the last 4 YEARS! The other 3 plus my brother and cousins haven't even seen her in almost 5 YEARS! Yet they are blaming Mom (and me) for not telling them how bad Grandma had gotten lately. Mom and I have both called, emailed, private messaged on facebook, and texted them over the last couple of years and told them she was getting worse and wouldn't be with us much longer. They all know about every hospital trip, every fall, every health issue, we kept them informed even when they didn't seem interested.

I understand they are grieving and everyone grieves differently, but this is just unreal.

On a lighter note...Zilla was back to herself this morning and wanted morning loves, until I hugged her, then she squawked at me and gave me that "look and ran to my shoulder, preened my hair for a minute and then demanded her breakfast be served!
 

Dopey

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Apr 18, 2014
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Leave it to an animal/bird to get us back on track...and quickly.

I'm sorry that your family has responded the way they did. It is their guilt that they are reflecting to you. In time they will see it and apologize. Try and let go of the what if's. You were there for her. Jeez - you visited twice a week. Kudos for you and your mom doing that much.

Amanda - try to remember the good things that you did. Keep repeating those things. Write them down and post them on your walls if you have to. My mom died over 6 years ago and I still think I could have spent more time with her. There are lots of things I wish I had done differently but I didn't. Change those things you wish you had done differently for your mom - if you can. If not, let them go.

We all love you here.
 

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