"My Resume" (humor)

RavensGryf

Supporting Member
Jan 19, 2014
14,233
190
College Station, Texas
Parrots
Red Bellied Parrot /
Ruppell's Parrot /
Bronze Winged Pionus /
English Budgie
Okay, so I know this is corny, but it still makes me laugh...

MY Resume:

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice Factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center , but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a
job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
 

BIRDIGIRL

New member
Jan 25, 2016
1,506
44
Mayo Ireland
Parrots
Rodney Blue Fronted Amazon
RIP Mr Biggles White Fronted Amazon , Elsa and Little Nellow the Lutino Budgies, Lady Primrose a Pied Budgie and English Budgies Houdini Popeye and Olive
Ha ha Love it :) :)
 

Anansi

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 18, 2013
22,301
4,211
Somerset,NJ
Parrots
Maya (Female Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Jolly (Male Solomon Island eclectus parrot), Bixby (Male, red-sided eclectus. RIP), Suzie (Male cockatiel. RIP)
Hahahahahaha! I see you share Terry's love of puns! You're such a nut!

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Aquila

New member
Nov 19, 2012
1,225
1
Philadelphia
Parrots
Sydney - Blue Front Amazon
Gonzo - Congo African Grey
Willow - Cockatiel
RIP:
Snowy, Ivy, Kiwi, Ghost - Parakeets
Berry - Cinnamon GCC
I think Mark might get a kick out of this too! :D
 

Allee

Well-known member
Oct 27, 2013
16,852
Media
2
212
Texas
Parrots
U2-Poppy(Poppy lives with her new mommy, Misty now) CAG-Jack, YNA, Bingo, Budgie-Piper, Cockatiel-Sweet Pea Quakers-Harry, Sammy, Wilson ***Zeke (quaker) Twinkle (budgie) forever in our hearts
Thanks for the giggles, Julie! You're right, Terry will love this!
 

Taw5106

New member
Mar 27, 2014
2,480
25
Texas
Parrots
Buddy - Red Crowned Amazon (27 yo)
Venus - Solomon Island Eclectus (4 yo)
Buzz CAG (2 yo)
Sam - Cockatiel 1997 - 2004
Tweety - Budgie 1984 - 1987
Sweety - Budgie 1985 - 1986
LOL! Love it!


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