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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 10:49 AM
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My perspective on my birds lives

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I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.

Last edited by Oli; 03-16-2017 at 10:54 AM.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 12:15 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Quote: Originally Posted by Oli View Post
I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.
^^^^^^ Thank You! ^^^^^^

While understanding the complex realities of another person's life is impossible in an online venue, we all wish the very best for the OP and her birds. I hope Oli's superb insights will resonate on a peer-to-peer basis.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 12:24 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

My response exactly. You need to remember things you have said prior, such as "My parents are responsible for the bird's financially" and "I can only take them to the vet when my parents say it's OK, and they didn't". But I'll say it once again, if you don't have an income to pay for vet care for your birds that isn't your fault. What is your fault is the lying, the not realizing that your birds are in danger and cannot ever get help, yet you just want them so you'll keep them, and the whole "My birds calm me down when I'm feeling bad, they destress me at the end of the day, so I should have them" stuff. You don't realize what you sound like, which is a 16 year old kid that hasn't grown up yet. And again, that's OK if you're only responsible for yourself, but unfortunately you're in a situation where you're responsible for other living creatures, at least in some way. And you shouldn't be. That's the bottom line.

And I'd think twice before you start assuming you act like you know how other people feel about things, how no one could ever feel as badly as you, that you've been through things that we could never understand, etc. That's a dangerous area to get into and has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you cannot be responsible for your own pets right now. You seem to have no sense of empathy for others at all, which is a separate problem from not being able to take care of your birds or to keep them out of danger, but then again it's not, because you aren't able to feel badly for your birds either. You loving them and playing with them and wanting what is best for them was never in doubt, but you can't pay for vet care with love. That's a hard fact to learn in life, that just because you love a pet or even a child, that doesn't mean you are able to take care of them or should have them in the first place.

Trust me, whether you think anyone can feel as badly as you do about having to rehome your pets or not, you're very, very wrong. About 2 years ago at the age of 35 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to stop working. I had to have 3 major surgeries over the span of a year, ran through about $60,000 of savings paying bills and for medical stuff, prescriptions, copays, deductibles, I just bled money. And worst of all I had 2 dogs and multiple birds that I could hardly get up to feed. If not for my mom who had just retired and who lives 10 minutes away from me, I would have had to rehome all of my pets. And I started calling people I knew who loved animals and who had bird experience. I had already secured a place with a woman I work with for my pug of 14 years to go, and my new cattle dog puppy who I had only had for a few months before suddenly being diagnosed, she was going to my cousin. Rehoming my birds was heartbreaking because they would most likely have gone to people I didn't know, who I couldn't visit, and who I would not get them back from IF I recovered. I actually did say to myself "They make me feel so much better, they're my family, I should not have to rehome my family because I've gotten sick by no fault of my own". But I made arrangements anyway because I couldn't walk my dogs, I couldn't clean my bird's cages out, I was sleeping all the time, and I had run out of money so if they had needed a vet I would have had to borrow it from someone. I could no longer be responsible for my pets. Whether it was my fault or not wasn't the point, the point was that regardless of whether it was my fault, regardless of how much it hurt me, killed me actually, it just wasn't fair to them. It broke my heart and I seriously did not care if I died at that point, my life was ripped apart by something that I didn't cause and I had nothing to do with. The only things I had that couldn't be taken away from me were my guitar, my saxophone, and my music...And I say this after selling 6 guitars from my collection to pay my bills so I didn't lose my house...I still miss that 1966 Harmony Bobkat H-15, man, the next extra $600 I come across I'm going straight on eBay and buying another one to restore! God I loved that guitar! And my 1974 Univox HiFlier Phase 3 in natural finish. It was mint. They're all gone. But I have a roof over my head, I still have a nice car to drive, and I managed to keep my professional model Yamagisawa Alto Sax, my 1996 Kurt Cobain Signature Fender Jaguar, and my 2003 Gibson Les Paul Special in TV Yellow...And my music, they couldn't take that away. But losing my family, that thought shattered me. I spent many days and nights vomiting, maybe from the treatments or the medication, maybe because I knew that I was soon going to have to give my family up to homes that could care for them properly, who could pay for vet care, who could walk the dogs every day and clean out the bird cages weekly. I just couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried. And I lived completely alone except for my pets, so I was going to be alone, by myself, with this disease...If not for my mom being willing to move into my house temporarily to take care of my pets and she and my step-father being willing to pay my bills for a while, well I would have lost them all. I prepared to lose them all, I made plans.

So don't you dare tell the members of this forum that we don't understand what you're going through, or that the pain you're experiencing about finally having to face the reality of your situation is like our pain times one hundred. I could have easily said the same to you, but I didn't because this isn't a competition. My pain was every bit as real and as strong as yours, I promise. The difference is that you are 16 and I was 35, and I wanted what was best for the family that I cared about, rather than wanting what was best for me.

"Dance like nobody's watching..."
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 12:58 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Oh EllenD, sweetheart...and I can say that, I'm from the south...thank you for sharing your story. It's making me cry all over my keyboard. I've had difficulties, but nothing resembling that. In the end, life distillate down to that essence: love. It doesn't matter what car, what house, what nice clothes I have. What counts are the simple things: am I healthy? Am I loved? Are those I love healthy and well? Health isn't under my control, so I can only be grateful when it is good and fight when it is not. Love is the only thing I'm responsible for: to create it when it's missing, to lavish it on all, and to accept it back no matter how unworthy I feel. I wish I could physically push this feeling I have right now through the screen, through the air, and out of your own screen. I can't, so please know that right now you are loved so hard I can hardly breathe. Thank you again for cracking open the door for me, so I can look inside and remember oh yes...that is the place I belong...
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 01:09 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

I am glad that you decided to re home/foster your birds out. it will be hard at first. But just think they will have a good life and someone who can afford vet care. Maybe you could ask to receive pictures or videos of them. Years ago I had to give up a bird and I cried alot but I also knew he was going to a better place with other birds to keep him company. It helped to always know my bird was safe, loved and spoiled. You made a sacrifice for the birds, you put your feelings aside for their feelings and their life. YOU are being responsible by recognizing that they need more than you can give right now. Later down the road you could always get another bird when the time is right.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 01:17 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Quote: Originally Posted by Oli View Post
I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.



She is taking them to a vet, but that doesn't stop it from being contagious. It's spreading like wildfire.

I'm getting a weekend job, I'm doing drivers Ed in May, I'll be able to care for my birds financially, and I'll be able to get them to a vet once I get my license and my own car (which is happening before Fall).

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

They saw went to an emergency vet over the weekend, they are going to a new home, what more do you want?


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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 01:17 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Quote: Originally Posted by ParrotLover2001 View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by Oli View Post
I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.



She is taking them to a vet, but that doesn't stop it from being contagious. It's spreading like wildfire.

I'm getting a weekend job, I'm doing drivers Ed in May, I'll be able to care for my birds financially, and I'll be able to get them to a vet once I get my license and my own car (which is happening before Fall).

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

They went to an emergency vet over the weekend, they are going to a new home, what more do you want?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk





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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 01:21 PM
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Oli Oli is offline
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Quote: Originally Posted by ParrotLover2001 View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by Oli View Post
I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.



She is taking them to a vet, but that doesn't stop it from being contagious. It's spreading like wildfire.

I'm getting a weekend job, I'm doing drivers Ed in May, I'll be able to care for my birds financially, and I'll be able to get them to a vet once I get my license and my own car (which is happening before Fall).

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

They saw went to an emergency vet over the weekend, they are going to a new home, what more do you want?


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


You are taking our concerns as attacks. Please understand that your past of lying, and your previous behavior only calls for concern of your birds well being. I'm glad you're getting a job, and I'm glad that you're learning to drive. Good for you. As I've said before, the problem is clearly within yourself- as you have a lot of growing up to do before I feel that you're ready to take responsibility for the bad things that happen to these animals.
I hope you understand that this is not an attack, it is only concern and observational advice.

As for your friend, please advise her to quarantine her sick birds away from her healthy birds.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 02:13 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Quote: Originally Posted by Kentuckienne View Post
Oh EllenD, sweetheart...and I can say that, I'm from the south...thank you for sharing your story. It's making me cry all over my keyboard. I've had difficulties, but nothing resembling that. In the end, life distillate down to that essence: love. It doesn't matter what car, what house, what nice clothes I have. What counts are the simple things: am I healthy? Am I loved? Are those I love healthy and well? Health isn't under my control, so I can only be grateful when it is good and fight when it is not. Love is the only thing I'm responsible for: to create it when it's missing, to lavish it on all, and to accept it back no matter how unworthy I feel. I wish I could physically push this feeling I have right now through the screen, through the air, and out of your own screen. I can't, so please know that right now you are loved so hard I can hardly breathe. Thank you again for cracking open the door for me, so I can look inside and remember oh yes...that is the place I belong...
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, it really does mean a lot to me. I'm a very blessed person, I'm surrounded by good people that care about each other and that can brighten my day with simply words. And for the most part I'm healthy now, and for that I'm very thankful. I was very lucky in that it was caught extremely early, only because I had been dealing with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis since the age of 16, so I was monitored closely with ultrasounds and biopsies, otherwise I would not have been so fortunate. Most women aren't monitored and if they are diagnosed with cervical or ovarian cancer it's usually very advanced by the time they are aware of it. So I'm grateful for a lot of things, mostly right now I'm grateful to be able to talk to the people in this forum. We share a love of our birds but also a love of life and of each other. It's rare that an internet forum has members that can talk to each other the way we do.

I only posted my story to make a point ParrotLover2001, again you have taken it as an attack against you. The point I was trying to make to you, or multiple points, have apparently just gone right over your head once again. You need to not make assumptions about how other people feel, what other people have gone through, and most importantly you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself because it gets you nowhere and only makes things worse for yourself. I also had to learn that lesson because I too would just keep asking why this was happening to me. I told people that they couldn't possibly understand what I was going through and that my pain was far above anything that they had ever possibly felt. That is until I was in the hospital and saw 5 year olds undergoing chemotherapy and their parents losing their homes, cars, everything they owned because they had to stop working to take care of their sick child. There's nothing that will kick you in the butt faster than watching a young child that is dealing with a fatal disease. I was also trying to make you see what is important, and it's not you keeping pets that you cannot be responsible for in order to make yourself feel better with total disregard for their well-being. I too thought I deserved to be able to keep my pets while I was going through hard times, after all that is when I needed them the most. But then I thought "What will I do if one of the birds get sick? What if one of the dogs hurts itself? How will I even get them their shots?" In essence I had to say to myself "Yes, my pets are my family and they do make me feel better, and I do deserve to be able to keep them. However, they deserve to be secure, healthy, and happy. Their well-being should not be second to my feelings". And my pets had never had any horrible accidents or been in a home where other people were purposely trying to harm them or kill them. I decided to put their lives and their needs above my own, even though I was going through hell and back myself. The ability to put others that you care about before yourself is something that comes with maturity and life experience.

I think the bottom line in your situation is that if you add up all of the reasons you cannot be responsible for taking care of your birds, all of the things that you cannot control being your age, it's a very long list of valid reasons you should not have pets right now, but these reasons combined aren't the main reason you shouldn't have them. Not being able to financially afford their medical care, not always having that support from your parents with whom you live with, having siblings constantly out to hurt and kill them and your parents seemingly not trying to stop them, all of these reasons should be more than enough for you to say to yourself "Wow, I really have had a lot happen to my birds, I've had more than a couple die for various reasons, they are in danger all the time and I can't afford to get them help when these things happen...I really should get them into responsible, loving homes, because I really do love them and want what is best for them". And still these are not the main reason you shouldn't have any pets that must rely upon you for their well-being right now, but rather the fact that you need to learn to be responsible for yourself first. If you can't take care of yourself, how in the world can you take care of another living creature, let alone 4?

You need to work on yourself for a while, work on growing up, maturing, and not only learning how to be in control of your own life but be able to control it without depending on anyone else financially and otherwise. I too commend you for getting a part-time job, which is certainly the most you can handle while doing school work and everything else a teenager has going on. But I commend you more for finally being a responsible person and actually doing something that is good for your birds rather than doing what is good for you or what you want. Getting your 4 birds into homes that can take care of them, provide for them, and keep them safe and out of harm's way is not only the responsible thing to do, but it's a big step towards maturity. For the first time you'd be putting yourself second and the lives of the creatures who depend on you first. That's a big deal.



"Dance like nobody's watching..."
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 03-16-2017, 03:56 PM
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Re: My perspective on my birds lives

Ellen, it's a great privilege to know you and be counted as a member of our community along with you.
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