PFA- Parrot Food Addiction

So I've decided to try something fun. See how many of our Fids join in to the PFA meetings and share their 'addiction'. My Fid volunteers to go first

*Green Cheek Conure steps up onto Preaching Perch*

(No need for microphone cause we all know birds are LOUD enough)

*lifts right wing*
Hello everyone! My name is Conlan and I have a Food Addiction problem.

I'm addicted to Islay's Chipped Ham. Every time I hear a bag crinkle or see mom with a sandwich I NEED to see if my ham is on there. I go crazy bashing around in my cage to get out, I will scream like a banshee, and I will climb from any place to inspect if my ham is present... And if it is??

*jumps up and down* Boy O Boy!! I rip into the bag or take giant chunks from the sandwich before anyone bats an eye! Never mind the bread or anything else. The ham is where it's at!

*looks down sadly* Mom says I shouldn't and can't have it. Too much salt, she says. Too much fat, she says. She takes it away from me and puts me in time out.... But I never learn my lesson.

It's just SSOOOOOOOOO hard to give it up. Now I'm not even allowed to be hanging around when the groceries are being put away because today mom caught me chewing into the bag on the counter while she sorted everything out. (Don't worry we were alone). I got into so much trouble... But that piece I got was so good

*looks into forum crowd* That's my Food Addiction....Anyone else wanna share their story?

Salty: Hello, My name is Salty, and I am a Food Addict. I have PFA
Audience: Hi Salty
Salty: Not only do I have PFA, I'm a cannibal. My kingdom for a chicken bone. The hard chewy outside with the lovely marrow on the inside. SO sweet and warm. I dance at the smell of any kind of chicken. Crunch, crunch, and scooping out that sweet marrow.
Audience: Stop, stop, your killing us!
Salty (looking down, at his out stretched wings, as if holding a baby): What's that you say?? Eat you now? Oh, I shouldn't. But your soooo tasty. No one will know. Oh, yes!
Salty jumps off podium and parrot waddles out the door,saying "Chicken, bracccck, Chicken!"
Audience: OK who is next?

Hello, I am Chicken

*Glares accusingly at Salty*

I have a PFA. Well, okay, not one.

*Glances down, shuffling awkwardly*

Okay, not even two or three. It's all the food. All of the human slave's food anyway. I just can't help it. I am not even sure if it is the food I want.

*Sighs*

Okay, I admit it, it's the food. All of it TASTES SO GOOD! I need to have whatever my slave is eating, I don't even care what it is! Sometimes I try to be tricky and just sneak a bite. Sometimes that doesn't work, so I just takes it! If the slave won't let me take it nicely, I will TAKE IT BY FORCE!

*Breathing heavy, Chicken looks around wild-eyed, while everyone backs up slowly*

Then the slave makes me sit on the floor. I really just don't understand the floor thing. I think it is supposed to be a punishment, but I just go eat the weird looking furry creature with no-wing's food. The slave gets mad about that too. Am I supposed to starve when I am not in my house?

*Again composed and dignified*

Well, that is my PFA. It is all the foods that are not my own.