guilt

Owlet

Well-known member
Oct 27, 2016
2,752
1,887
Colorado
Parrots
Lincoln (Eclectus), Apollo (Cockatiel), Aster (GCC)
this is more of a vent than anything else I just need to get it off my chest and maybe if you all have any advice..?

Basically all of June I was in and out of the hospital and it was really stressful. My parents were able to give the birds their basic needs (food, water) but nothing else. In the beginning of July I started a new job that takes me out of the house for most the day as my commute is longer than I normally would like (45min one way) so I have even less time with the birds and recently I had to start an intensive treatment program that leaves me absolutely exhausted and I end up just sleeping for the rest of the day and the day following. I feel like I'm failing the birds i havent been socializing with them as much as i would like and I've been slacking with cage cleaning and I dont know when things will get better
 

T00tsyd

Well-known member
May 8, 2017
1,256
862
UK
Parrots
Green cheek conure - Sydney (Syd) Hatched 2/2017
I am not an expert on your birds in this situation but I do think you could ease up on yourself. The more you stress the longer you will feel like you do. Take a deep breath and try hard not to worry. Take one day at a time, you can only give what you have. If your parents were able to give the basics would they still help on the cleaning front?
Sometimes you just have to ask. Don't punish yourself, your birds know that you are there and they are there for you. At least they have company with each other.

Your job is to get well. Take care.
 

chris-md

Well-known member
Feb 6, 2010
4,354
2,131
Maryland - USA
Parrots
Parker - male Eclectus

Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
Very very well said above!

You’re going through something right now that is beyond your control. Birds will be find when you’re ready to get back to business, so to speak. You shouldn’t feel back about doing what you have to to feel better.

Wishing you the best of health in the coming weeks!
 

Inger

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Mar 20, 2017
3,400
831
Everett, WA
Parrots
Bumble - Pacific (or Celestial) Parrotlet hatched 02/19/17
Everyone beat me to it. Take care of yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over what you can’t get done. They know you love them and they love you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Laurasea

Well-known member
Aug 2, 2018
12,593
10,702
USA
Parrots
Full house
Owelet I hope you feel better, all of us go thru life changes and time issues.

I certainly understand the sucky part of being in hospital and getting treatments st the hospital... it’s hard on mind and body. Sometimes my birds did fine, sometimes the got loud and pissed. But we all got through it. Never hurts to tell them what’s going on, somehow ( I feel) they understand, whenever I explain stuff it seems they feel better about the situation.

Long commutes is how I ended up moving to Florida! I just couldn’t deal with all that time wasted. I hope you can find a work around for that
 

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,658
10,038
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
Truly wonderful advise above!!!

Spending the time you have is what they will want! Remember, they connect into our emotions, so target distressing, everyone will be more comfortable.
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,792
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Do the best you can and try to enlist your parents for a bit more relief. This bump in the road shall pass and you'll make up for time lost with Lincoln and Apollo. They know your heart and offer unconditional love.
 

noodles123

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
8,145
472
Parrots
Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
So, I would be the same way because I feel guilty about practically everything (lol). BUT, that doesn't mean that either of us should.

Think of it this way- if you hadn't gotten the help you needed, I imagine it would have been really bad, right? I mean, you don't have to share details, but generally if you go inpatient it is because the alternative is too dangerous.
If you didn't get treatment, you could have ended up in a situation far worse for your birds, so if this temporary "rough" patch is what it takes for you to heal and make the rest of their lives better in the long-run, then that is far better than the alternative!

New jobs are always super stressful (on top of everything else) so I am sure you are drained- I did a 45 minute commute for about 6 months to a new job and it was rough as heck...You have a lot on your plate, but it honestly sounds like you are doing a pretty dang good job, given all that you have been through recently!

Try not to beat yourself up...(easier said than done, from the queen of unnecessary guilt herself lol) BUT from an outsider's perspective, you have nothing to feel guilty about, even though I totally empathize.

Hope it gets easier for you!
 

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