Parrot Forum Header Left  
Go Back   Parrot Forum - Parrot Owner's Community > Community > Off Topic

Off Topic Post here for non parrot related topics

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-16-2020, 09:37 AM
Owlet's Avatar
Senior Member
Parrots:
Lincoln (Eclectus), Apollo (Cockatiel)
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Colorado
Thanks: 650
Thanked 3,339 Times in 1,251 Posts
Owlet is on a distinguished road
guilt

this is more of a vent than anything else I just need to get it off my chest and maybe if you all have any advice..?

Basically all of June I was in and out of the hospital and it was really stressful. My parents were able to give the birds their basic needs (food, water) but nothing else. In the beginning of July I started a new job that takes me out of the house for most the day as my commute is longer than I normally would like (45min one way) so I have even less time with the birds and recently I had to start an intensive treatment program that leaves me absolutely exhausted and I end up just sleeping for the rest of the day and the day following. I feel like I'm failing the birds i havent been socializing with them as much as i would like and I've been slacking with cage cleaning and I dont know when things will get better
__________________
Looking for art of your avian friend? Click here!
Lincoln adopt date: 11/21/2016
Apollo hatch date: 10/13/2018
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Owlet For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Laurasea Supporting Member (07-16-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020), T00tsyd (07-16-2020)
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-16-2020, 09:45 AM
T00tsyd's Avatar
Senior Member
Parrots:
Green cheek conure - Sydney (Syd) Hatched 2/2017
Join Date: May 2017
Location: UK
Thanks: 564
Thanked 1,571 Times in 545 Posts
T00tsyd is on a distinguished road
Re: guilt

I am not an expert on your birds in this situation but I do think you could ease up on yourself. The more you stress the longer you will feel like you do. Take a deep breath and try hard not to worry. Take one day at a time, you can only give what you have. If your parents were able to give the basics would they still help on the cleaning front?
Sometimes you just have to ask. Don't punish yourself, your birds know that you are there and they are there for you. At least they have company with each other.

Your job is to get well. Take care.
Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to T00tsyd For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), bigfellasdad (07-16-2020), chris-md Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Inger Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Laurasea Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Owlet (07-17-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020)
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-16-2020, 10:10 AM
chris-md's Avatar
Supporting Member
Parrots:
Parker - male Eclectus Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Maryland - USA
Thanks: 1,932
Thanked 7,149 Times in 2,683 Posts
chris-md is on a distinguished road
Re: guilt

Very very well said above!

You’re going through something right now that is beyond your control. Birds will be find when you’re ready to get back to business, so to speak. You shouldn’t feel back about doing what you have to to feel better.

Wishing you the best of health in the coming weeks!
__________________
Join Parker and all his Rover.com dog boarder friends on https://www.instagram.com/parker.the.parrot/
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to chris-md For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Inger Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Laurasea Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Owlet (07-17-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020)
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 07-16-2020, 04:58 PM
Inger's Avatar
Supporting Member
Parrots:
Bumble - Pacific (or Celestial) Parrotlet hatched 02/19/17
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Everett, WA
Thanks: 9,016
Thanked 6,660 Times in 2,223 Posts
Inger is on a distinguished road
Re: guilt

Everyone beat me to it. Take care of yourself. Donít beat yourself up over what you canít get done. They know you love them and they love you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Inger For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Laurasea Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Owlet (07-17-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020)
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 07-16-2020, 05:43 PM
Laurasea's Avatar
Supporting Member
Parrots:
Neptune blue quaker (MIA), Ta-dah GCC female, Penny quaker female, Pikachu quaker unknown, Orbit quaker unknown, 2 parakeets males, Burt The Burd GCC RIP
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: USA
Thanks: 21,428
Thanked 18,146 Times in 6,116 Posts
Laurasea is on a distinguished road
Re: guilt

Owelet I hope you feel better, all of us go thru life changes and time issues.

I certainly understand the sucky part of being in hospital and getting treatments st the hospital... it’s hard on mind and body. Sometimes my birds did fine, sometimes the got loud and pissed. But we all got through it. Never hurts to tell them what’s going on, somehow ( I feel) they understand, whenever I explain stuff it seems they feel better about the situation.

Long commutes is how I ended up moving to Florida! I just couldn’t deal with all that time wasted. I hope you can find a work around for that
__________________
"When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear. "Thomas Sowell
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Laurasea For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Owlet (07-17-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-16-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020)
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 07-16-2020, 06:30 PM
SailBoat's Avatar
Supporting Member
Parrots:
DYH Amazon
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Western, Michigan
Thanks: 50,333
Thanked 30,590 Times in 10,377 Posts
SailBoat will become famous soon enough
Re: guilt

Truly wonderful advise above!!!

Spending the time you have is what they will want! Remember, they connect into our emotions, so target distressing, everyone will be more comfortable.
__________________


In each Morning's early light; there is a promise, an Amazon makes!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SailBoat For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Owlet (07-17-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020)
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2020, 01:14 AM
Scott's Avatar
Super Moderator
Parrots:
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo / RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Thanks: 108,641
Thanked 55,233 Times in 18,573 Posts
Scott will become famous soon enough
Re: guilt

Do the best you can and try to enlist your parents for a bit more relief. This bump in the road shall pass and you'll make up for time lost with Lincoln and Apollo. They know your heart and offer unconditional love.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Scott For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), Laurasea Supporting Member (07-17-2020), Owlet (07-17-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-17-2020)
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2020, 12:14 PM
Senior Member
Parrots:
Umbrella Cockatoo- 13 years old
Join Date: Jul 2018
Thanks: 6,698
Thanked 12,821 Times in 5,210 Posts
noodles123 will become famous soon enough
Re: guilt

So, I would be the same way because I feel guilty about practically everything (lol). BUT, that doesn't mean that either of us should.

Think of it this way- if you hadn't gotten the help you needed, I imagine it would have been really bad, right? I mean, you don't have to share details, but generally if you go inpatient it is because the alternative is too dangerous.
If you didn't get treatment, you could have ended up in a situation far worse for your birds, so if this temporary "rough" patch is what it takes for you to heal and make the rest of their lives better in the long-run, then that is far better than the alternative!

New jobs are always super stressful (on top of everything else) so I am sure you are drained- I did a 45 minute commute for about 6 months to a new job and it was rough as heck...You have a lot on your plate, but it honestly sounds like you are doing a pretty dang good job, given all that you have been through recently!

Try not to beat yourself up...(easier said than done, from the queen of unnecessary guilt herself lol) BUT from an outsider's perspective, you have nothing to feel guilty about, even though I totally empathize.

Hope it gets easier for you!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to noodles123 For This Useful Post:
1oldparroter (07-17-2020), AmyMyBlueFront Supporting Member (07-18-2020), Flboy (07-19-2020), SailBoat Supporting Member (07-17-2020), Scott  (07-17-2020)
Reply

Lower Navigation
Go Back   Parrot Forum - Parrot Owner's Community > Community > Off Topic

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Guilt over a passed bird Ziel Bereavement 13 01-19-2020 05:37 AM
Guilt/Shock/Sadness Crash_Davis Bereavement 16 09-23-2018 09:18 AM
The look of guilt and shame Kiwibird Amazons 12 10-05-2016 09:15 AM
Guilt over Wing Clipping Roanoke General Parrot Information 14 11-30-2015 08:31 PM
less guilt yellow cake gracebowen Off Topic 6 05-27-2015 01:20 AM



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.