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Old 02-22-2011, 07:42 PM
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Putting it all out there.

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Alright... I don't know how appropriate this is for this forum; I am in the off topic section though.

Last Thursday I made a choice in my life that has altered it for ever. The last six days have been rough; I don't wish I could take it back though because it was well past due time.

For those of you who didn't know, I am twenty-three-years-old, just out of the Navy, and now going to college to become a Spanish teacher. Super excited about that. I am also gay, and was a closet gay to the majority of my family up until last Thursday.

I decided it was time for my family to know and so I drank a little to get my tongue running and put it all out there.

The outcome to this so far: I haven't talked to or seen my mom since Friday, my dad can't look at me and only talks to me if he must, and I receive very frustrated texts from family members. I have not been kicked out of their house yet but I don't think the whole thing has set in yet. I am very frustrated and wish that something like this was more socially accepted. In fact, if there was nothing in the Bible against it, my family wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

I think I am handling their reactions well... But I haven't talked to my oldest brother yet. He, I already know, is going to rip in to me.

Keep me in your prayers or whatever faith you have...
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Old 02-22-2011, 07:56 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Hey,

Can I just say that I am proud of you! Good for you, it's hard right now, but I know you will get through this. Plus, as hard as everything is right now, you must be relieved that you no longer have to hide this one thing from your family?

-Evie
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Old 02-22-2011, 08:25 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Kudos to you!! I am sure that carrying this secret has really weighed on you! You have accomplished what so many can not. What your family does with this news is their business. They can love you for who you are as you are no different a person then before they knew. Or they can walk away and lose a very important part of their lives. You have no control over them and they have no control over you. I bet with time you will see them come back around. Be patient and live your life to the fullest!
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:22 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Good for you! It is hard now but they will accept it. They probably already knew and just wanted to keep their heads in the sand and are sore that you've made them face it. So be it. It will take some time but they will come around. I've heard of some fierce advocates for gay rights who were opposed to them before a close family member came out. You have a lot of support from people you don't even know at this time, even if it doesn't feel like it. Better to live your life openly and honestly. Nothing but support and good thoughts your way.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:51 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Thanks guys. I kinda figured that I would have some support from you guys. Which makes me feel a lot better, and I have never met any of you guys. lol. My calculations were wrong though... Its only been four days. My days have been all messed up lately. I got home tonight though and my dad and brother were watching Glee... I should have left at that point. After my brother left I was finishing up some pizza and I was going to go downstairs and go to bed. My dad paused the show, told me that he was going to talk to all my other siblings, all of whom support me, don't necessarily agree with it, but support me in this, aside from my oldest brother whom I have not told yet. And I am not sure if he knows or not. But he told me he was going to talk to them on how to basically [fix] me. His exact words I believe were, "how to deal with this, and how to deal with you." I am twenty three, I pay rent here, and he strongly believes it is a choice on my part; I do not believe it was a choice. I was six-years-old wanting a boyfriend... If it comes down to it, I have other places I can move to. Living here is not my only option until I am supposed to move to AZ anyways. Again, thank you guys.
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Old 02-22-2011, 10:40 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

All you can do is stay true to yourself....stay strong. I know it seems like they will never come around but after their shock wears off (and their need to "fix" you) they will come around. If they don't...or take longer to come around than they should, at least you were honest with them, and you have to feel pretty damn great about that!
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Old 02-22-2011, 10:49 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

You do not need fixing! You are perfect the way you are. Your family may never accept who you are or understand it. Unfortunately you also will have to accept this. Be true to your self and if it means moving out look at it as the beginning to a new adventure! It is sad that society feels this is a choice. Stand strong and be happy!
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Old 02-22-2011, 11:06 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Good on you! They can't fix you, being gay isn't a choice, or a 'phase'. Tell them that you were gay before you told them, so nothing has to change.
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Old 02-22-2011, 11:55 PM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Congrats! The only thing that should be living in a closet is clothes.

I remember my mom sitting me down when I was young and saying "be who you are, it doesn't matter if your gay, straight or in between just be yourself and love yourself no matter what." words to live by.

I'm sorry your going through a hard time right now but it will get easier. If nothing it probably feels great to be open about it with people who love you and will eventually come to accept and support you.

Congratulations again *HUGS*
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Old 02-23-2011, 12:15 AM
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Re: Putting it all out there.

Good for you!!!! I'm very proud of you!!!! I came out to my family when I turned 18, but I wasn't living with them cause I moved away before telling them. We weren't getting along anyway, years later they finally accepted it when I moved back. I'm here if you need someone to talk to!!! I'm adding you on facebook right now, you can see my pets pics there!!!
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Last edited by MikeyTN; 02-23-2011 at 12:17 AM.
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