Our family loves birds, but almost seems like it isn't meant to be :(

Well, let's say 5 months ago, we got a baby lovebird.
We named it Tiko, and it instantly became best friends with my wife.
It went everywhere with her, and at night, she'd wrap it up in a little
flannel blanket, and snuggle him in bed.
In the morning, he would follow her to the kitchen, have breakfast,
and sit on her, or near her.
We left his cage door open, and he basically used the cage to eat and poop. Didn't spend much time in there, but it was there if he wanted it.
A few times we went away for the day, we'd come home and he'd be in the cage, so I guess when we left he didn't like being out in the open as much.

Every morning, when the kids left for school, he'd stand at the corner of the table by the door, and make funny noises to them. When they'd be coming home, when he heard the door he'd immediately run to them and cuddle and visit.
Every evening you'd see him sitting with our son watching TV, or playing barbies with our daughter.

My wife would take tiko, shove him in her boobs, and take him shopping. He loved it. In fact, he would jump in on his own. He would also go in pockets, or anywhere to cuddle. If anyone thinks any of this sounds cruel, I assure you I've seen a few pet birds, and this was the friggen happiest bird I have ever seen. He brought so much love and happiness to everyone. It's hard to explain, but we've had pets before, and none came close to the complexity, attitude, and love of this little lovebird.

About 3 months ago, he started really "burrowing" once in a while. He had a blanket in his cage, and he'd burrow under it. He'd burrow under our blankets in the bed, anything he could find, he would go under it, thinking he's sneaky and nobody could see him. I don't know if this was an age or hormone trait, or a playful action, but he was burrowing lots.

Unfortunately, our daughter accidentally jumped on a blanket one day, and instantly killed him. My wife cried uncontrollably for 3 days. Our whole family felt ripped apart, and there was nothing we could do about it.
Yes, if he would have been in the cage, he'd still be alive. I realise that.... but in a way I feel like thats saying "if we never leave our house, we'll be safe"... while true, leads to a very limited lifestyle.
The reason tiko was so great, is purely because we let him live in the house, and treated him like a family member. I feel that even though his life was short, it was good. He lived better than many birds, was loved much, and loved us back too.

We got another lovebird, but it was not as tame, and tries to bite the crap out of anyone who goes near the cage.
She's older, and doesn't seem to want any touching.
We kept her though, a beautiful bird, but just short on expectations.

2 days ago, we bought a hand raised cockatiel baby. Brought it home, cuddled it, everything was good. Still eating formula from the dropper 3 times a day. She didn't want to eat, so we kept trying, and trying, and trying. Little bit by little bit, she started eating. I wasn't too concerned, I know when birds go to a new home, they can take a few days before they relax and eat properly. But anyways, by last night, she was gobbling food from the dropper, and eating millet spray pretty good. I tried to put her in a cage last night, because I wanted to train her with the cage, so she'd learn that theres always food and water in there. She didn't want any piece of it, as soon as I tried putting her in, she freaked out and flapped her wings, and avoided at all costs me putting her in.
I finally tried harder, and once inside the cage, she just banged around almost hurting herself. So I took her out, we brought her to bed, and she went to sleep.

This morning, my wife was feeding her on the kitchen table, and when the kids got picked up for school, she just looked at the door, got up, and flew away. I don't know how well 8 week old cockatiels are supposed to be able to fly, but she took off. Made a few circles around the neighbors house, and hit the ground.
My wife found her after 20 minutes, and approached her, but I think the crunching snow (yes snow, and it's supposed to snow more tonight) scared her... she took off again, flew down the street, and we can't find her.

Nobody saw exactly where she went, and we've been looking for hours and hours. It's cold out, ground mostly snow covered, lots of half frozen puddles.
I can't believe she can fly that good with clipped wings. I expected maybe she would be able to "flutter" down or maybe maintain altitude, but she flies like a rocket ship. BUT, she gets tired fast it looks like.

We've been looking for hours, but no signs yet. We've covered a 3 block radius. I feel like if we can't find her inside that, theres no point, as she could be anywhere.
It is so much work looking through yards and everything.

Any suggestions? We tried walking around playing a cockatiel flock call, didn't do anything. We looked through peoples yards, under scrap piles, truck boxes, trees, rooftops....

It's supposed to get pretty cold tonight, and snow. I think if we can't find her soon, theres no way she'll last the night.

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your lovebird.
Addressing that section, it sounds like you got another in hopes of having the same bird again. Every bird is unique, lovebirds especially. When you bring home another bird, you have to be willing to learn and accept their individual personality 100% and understand that no matter how hard you try, you'll never have another Tiko.
You can have another bird that you share a fantastic bond with, don't get me wrong, but no two birds are the same.
Addressing the missing Cockatiel, when I had my 'tiels, they would talk(chirp) at any sort of cloth that was draped over my hand. Blankets, towels, wash cloths, etc. Does she do that? When my grandma accidentally let my 'tiel out a few years ago I walked around the neighborhood with his favorite quilt draped over my shoulders (Sounds crazy, I know.) but sure enough he saw me and started calling for me, and I was able to find him based on his sounds.
Wishing you the best of luck. Sorry your family is going through so much.

Sterling1113 said:

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your lovebird.
Addressing that section, it sounds like you got another in hopes of having the same bird again. Every bird is unique, lovebirds especially. When you bring home another bird, you have to be willing to learn and accept their individual personality 100% and understand that no matter how hard you try, you'll never have another Tiko.
You can have another bird that you share a fantastic bond with, don't get me wrong, but no two birds are the same.
Addressing the missing Cockatiel, when I had my 'tiels, they would talk(chirp) at any sort of cloth that was draped over my hand. Blankets, towels, wash cloths, etc. Does she do that? When my grandma accidentally let my 'tiel out a few years ago I walked around the neighborhood with his favorite quilt draped over my shoulders (Sounds crazy, I know.) but sure enough he saw me and started calling for me, and I was able to find him based on his sounds.
Wishing you the best of luck. Sorry your family is going through so much.

Click to expand...

I don't know if she would like a towel, but we'll try it. We just had her for almost 2 days, so don't really know much about her yet.
And she has a baby squeek, not any kind of chirp, so very quiet. We still can't even find her, Haven't even seen her for several hours now. She's little, scared, and cold.
I still can't believe she flew right over the rooftops. We did not see this coming.

And about tiko, I know another bird will never replace him, but we think that with a lot of love and training, there are many types of birds that will give us that extra family member.

parkland said:

Sterling1113 said:

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your lovebird.
Addressing that section, it sounds like you got another in hopes of having the same bird again. Every bird is unique, lovebirds especially. When you bring home another bird, you have to be willing to learn and accept their individual personality 100% and understand that no matter how hard you try, you'll never have another Tiko.
You can have another bird that you share a fantastic bond with, don't get me wrong, but no two birds are the same.
Addressing the missing Cockatiel, when I had my 'tiels, they would talk(chirp) at any sort of cloth that was draped over my hand. Blankets, towels, wash cloths, etc. Does she do that? When my grandma accidentally let my 'tiel out a few years ago I walked around the neighborhood with his favorite quilt draped over my shoulders (Sounds crazy, I know.) but sure enough he saw me and started calling for me, and I was able to find him based on his sounds.
Wishing you the best of luck. Sorry your family is going through so much.

Click to expand...

I don't know if she would like a towel, but we'll try it. We just had her for almost 2 days, so don't really know much about her yet.
And she has a baby squeek, not any kind of chirp, so very quiet. We still can't even find her, Haven't even seen her for several hours now. She's little, scared, and cold.
I still can't believe she flew right over the rooftops. We did not see this coming.

And about tiko, I know another bird will never replace him, but we think that with a lot of love and training, there are many types of birds that will give us that extra family member.

Click to expand...

My conure, Kiwi, she's clipped (A full clip, at that. Not a half-clip) and she still flies around with ease. Given, she wears out easier, but she can gain altitude nonetheless. It was a shock to me, too.
And you're definitely right, with enough TLC you can definitely have a wonderful bond between your family and your fids. Just don't expect it right away. It just adds disappointment to you, and stress on the bird, because he/she doesn't know what they're doing wrong.
Hopefully you'll hear of your baby soon, with the cold, I'm willing to bet she's sitting still somewhere.

Sterling1113 said:

parkland said:

Sterling1113 said:

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your lovebird.
Addressing that section, it sounds like you got another in hopes of having the same bird again. Every bird is unique, lovebirds especially. When you bring home another bird, you have to be willing to learn and accept their individual personality 100% and understand that no matter how hard you try, you'll never have another Tiko.
You can have another bird that you share a fantastic bond with, don't get me wrong, but no two birds are the same.
Addressing the missing Cockatiel, when I had my 'tiels, they would talk(chirp) at any sort of cloth that was draped over my hand. Blankets, towels, wash cloths, etc. Does she do that? When my grandma accidentally let my 'tiel out a few years ago I walked around the neighborhood with his favorite quilt draped over my shoulders (Sounds crazy, I know.) but sure enough he saw me and started calling for me, and I was able to find him based on his sounds.
Wishing you the best of luck. Sorry your family is going through so much.

Click to expand...

I don't know if she would like a towel, but we'll try it. We just had her for almost 2 days, so don't really know much about her yet.
And she has a baby squeek, not any kind of chirp, so very quiet. We still can't even find her, Haven't even seen her for several hours now. She's little, scared, and cold.
I still can't believe she flew right over the rooftops. We did not see this coming.

And about tiko, I know another bird will never replace him, but we think that with a lot of love and training, there are many types of birds that will give us that extra family member.

Click to expand...

My conure, Kiwi, she's clipped (A full clip, at that. Not a half-clip) and she still flies around with ease. Given, she wears out easier, but she can gain altitude nonetheless. It was a shock to me, too.
And you're definitely right, with enough TLC you can definitely have a wonderful bond between your family and your fids. Just don't expect it right away. It just adds disappointment to you, and stress on the bird, because he/she doesn't know what they're doing wrong.
Hopefully you'll hear of your baby soon, with the cold, I'm willing to bet she's sitting still somewhere.

Click to expand...

So the last we saw her, she circled a tree and headed downward. We looked all around that area, but are you thinking she's just eluding us somewhere there?
If it's cold, they're inclined to stay in the same spot?

It's about 10 above in daytime, and below 0 at night. a bit of melting and freezing going on, but it's cold.

parkland said:

Sterling1113 said:

parkland said:

I don't know if she would like a towel, but we'll try it. We just had her for almost 2 days, so don't really know much about her yet.
And she has a baby squeek, not any kind of chirp, so very quiet. We still can't even find her, Haven't even seen her for several hours now. She's little, scared, and cold.
I still can't believe she flew right over the rooftops. We did not see this coming.

And about tiko, I know another bird will never replace him, but we think that with a lot of love and training, there are many types of birds that will give us that extra family member.

Click to expand...

My conure, Kiwi, she's clipped (A full clip, at that. Not a half-clip) and she still flies around with ease. Given, she wears out easier, but she can gain altitude nonetheless. It was a shock to me, too.
And you're definitely right, with enough TLC you can definitely have a wonderful bond between your family and your fids. Just don't expect it right away. It just adds disappointment to you, and stress on the bird, because he/she doesn't know what they're doing wrong.
Hopefully you'll hear of your baby soon, with the cold, I'm willing to bet she's sitting still somewhere.

Click to expand...

So the last we saw her, she circled a tree and headed downward. We looked all around that area, but are you thinking she's just eluding us somewhere there?
If it's cold, they're inclined to stay in the same spot?

It's about 10 above in daytime, and below 0 at night. a bit of melting and freezing going on, but it's cold.

Click to expand...

Most of the time, instinct tells them to find a tree to hide in. When my 'tiel got lost, the blue jays and black birds chased him from the trees, so I found him on the ground against a tree trunk.
Being so young, unless she caught an updraft, she could very well be on the ground. Since you said she flew for a bit then went down, she's probably weak and cold and doesn't have enough energy to get to the top of a tree. Check in and around bushes, anything she could climb(chain link fences, etc) porches, anything that she could climb or get under to be a 'safe spot'.
Poor baby.

Sterling1113 said:

Poor baby.

Click to expand...

Indeed.

I can't understand why we can't find her. I also don't think she would'nt move unless scared, and we saw where she went down roughly, but just can't find her.
It is very possible she flew somewhere else when we weren't looking. Who knows.

Have you talked to the neighbors? I am so sorry the tiel flee off and your lovebird, you had amazing interaction. You and your family are a true flock. I hope and pray you find your tiel. Don't give up!

Well after lots of looking, and looking and looking, nothing.
It's -10, and windy, she's either in someones house, or has become a bird-sicle.
I don't think anyone would have her, we talked to so many people today, theres not much chance of anyone not knowing she was missing.

If she wasn't only here for a day, I'd be thinking maybe she'd come back, but obviously she was just spooked and freaked out about changing homes, so I can't see her even thinking of returning.

How cold can one of these birds survive?
Is there any point in looking for her tomorrow?
Or was it pointless 30 minutes after she flew out the door?

I know they say "better to love then lost than never loved at all", but that barely seems to be the case sometimes.

Depending on how much she was clipped in the first place as there's different clips that still allows them to glide or fly just fine. When baby tiels gets spooked they will fly fly fly! That is their instinct. They will land somewhere and keep still and not make a peep. I hope you will find her soon cause at that temperature she is not going to last.

I sense a bit of "let nature be nature" in your approach. Now, the upside is, of course, letting each member of your family be in charge of their activities. And with that comes the reward of growth. But these are birds. They do not respond to the intellectual hierchy of the human order. And, as a result, it's imperative that we A) know what we're doing as conservators, and B) anticipate-through research- the needs of our charges.

I agree.
It is hard though, because it's sort of a balancing act between what the bird likes, and whats safe.

Well, the one cockatiel is gone, either frozen, or grabbed up.

In the instance of the cockatiel escaping, I guess we shouldn't have presented the opportunity. We didn't worry at all, because her previous actions and attitude made us feel like she would never do that. I guess what I'm saying is that she didn't give us any reason to worry she might do that, but we should have waited a lot longer to even judge what she was capable of.

Does anyone think it's a good idea to take birds outside for a few minutes being held, just so they can see how cold and miserable it is out there?
Or will they just forget the temperature, and notice all the excitement and not get the point of danger?
Or what about the stove? What if you hold your bird close; not enough to burn, but enough to feel the heat, will they learn that it is a hot dangerous place, or is that not something they would pick up easily?

I know I read about people saying it was good to show birds hazards like windows, so they don't accidentally hit them, so what hazards can you show a bird, and how do you go about making sure they get the point?

For example, if I show my bird the stove, and put him close enough to feel heat, but not harm him, is he going to get that it's dangerous, or maybe he'll think it is the most awesome warm place ever, and try to go there?

Let's say a pizza is baking in the oven, the stove top is pretty hot to the touch, but not burning hot, if a bird tries to go on it, or lands on it, will it be better to chase them off and tell them 'no', or leave them till they feel the heat and fly off, learning on their own?

One thing I noticed, the cockatiel that took off on us, had her wings clipped, and the other one we have isn't clipped at all, and he is a lot more gentle and confident with movement. When he goes on our shoulders, he is able to flap 2 or 3 times, and jump up without any scratches or anything, and really confident about it. The girl with the clipped wings, was more eager to claw and scratch. I don't know if this is mostly to do with one being a girl, and one being a boy, or the clipped wings difference.
Also the boy with non clipped wings actually uses his wings like hands, it's really funny, I've never seen a bird do this. Say he is climbing off something, he will grab it with his wings, and slide down kind of. Other birds I've seen would sort of flutter away from the object and descend, but he kinda holds on and slides down.

This cockatiel was supposed to be friends with the one that took off, but looks like he'll be a loner for now.

Birds, if acclimated, may be able to sustain below freezing temperatures. Birds not accustomed to extreme temperatures may not fair as well.

If it were me, I'd continue looking for at least two more days! Go around and talk to neighbors! Ask if anyone has seen or heard of an unusual bird around!



My first cockatiel, Casey, is flighted. She's a pretty confident bird and will fly to my head, hands, arms or shoulders. (or any other part of my body she deems worthy enough to land on!) Once she lands, she doesn't madly flap about at all.

Fear changes the situation. When startled or they perceive they are in danger, the behavior becomes unpredictable. One thing you can do is get them used to flying back to you. Our first bird didn't know how to get back to us. We taught him and if he escaped, which he was very good at, we knew he could fly back down to us.