Moral conundrum between birds

At the moment I have an 8 year old congo african grey. She has never been entirely tame due to her past owner who didn't take very good care of her and therefore has a slightly habitual chewing problem. Now don't get me wrong, I love this bird but I feel like the personality that comes along with these birds isn't the right bird for me. I've been looking at macaws, specifically blue and golds/greenwings/catalina. I honestly think that the personality that comes along with these birds is a better match for me. The problem is that due to my living situation I can only have one bird. I really don't want to get rid of my current bird, but I feel like there is someone out there who can take the personality that comes along with african greys better than I can. I really hate the fact that I'm even considering getting rid of a bird just to get another, but I honestly feel like this bird is not a good match for me, as much I love her and take care of her. Anyone have any thoughts or ideas?

What drew you to a grey? Each species requires a lot of research, as long as you say that your grey's personality would be better suited to someone else, what made you choose her in the first place? Unless you've had hands on experience with a particular species before, it's always a good idea to interact with a representative of the species prior to purchasing ( a rescue, friend's bird, bird store etc) Not knowing your situation I am NOT judging or anything. Just curious.

What if you don't like the macaw either?

Unfortunately it happens. Some pets are just not good matches with the owners or their families. You see it with fur babies and birds. Sometimes it's the characteristic of the pet but sometimes it's just the pets personality that doesn't blend well. I know that there's a lot of people that believe in forever pets, which I do if the match is correct and the bonds are there. I never let a pet rehome to a lesser home than mine and make sure the personalities blend and they bond. I've done rescue/re-homing of dogs and cats for years. I do make sure that I have improved their lives and helped the pet be better than they come to me. Re-homing done correctly and for the right reasons..... So, make sure this is what you really want, for the right reasons because there's nothing worse than regrets.....

It's very hard to know whether you are rationalising "dumping" a "problem" or not.... It really depends on the circumstances and what you can find as an alternative. In the right circumstances, I'd give somebody up to someone else. For example, if I had a bird with a few "issues" and somebody like birdman or a professional trainer wanted them and would work with them to make them "better", I'd let them go.

I don't know enough about the birds you've mentioned to know whether I'd get another.

In dogs, if I'd taken on a dog that I couldn't keep up with, I'd let somebody who wanted it and had a bigger property or more time spent exercising have it, but I wouldn't swap a german shepherd for a border collie, I might consider an elderly chihuahua instead.... Otherwise, if I felt the need to rehome somebody whose needs would be better met elsewhere, I wouldn't get anyone else.

I guess my first thought is how much work you've done with her to get past issues caused by prior mistreatment? I do sympathise with what your feeling - my galah was a rehomed bird that I took on around the same time as a few others on the forum took on baby galahs, and it was hard reading other people's posts about their happy, confident babies whilst I tried to coax my miserable specimen out from the back of her cage. But slowly but surely we made progress and two years on, she's not perfect but she's done so well and I'm so proud of her. You talk about the bird not being properly 'tame' - it comes with time and work, but it can take years rather than months to undo psychological damage in mistreated birds, and your grey may still have trust issues to address.

It may be the bird has issues that you don't feel you have the skills to deal with and if that's the case I wouldn't feel bad about moving the bird to someone with more experience - but you need to take the time to place the bird carefully with the right person if that's the route you go down. Rehoming to the right person is very different to selling the bird to the highest bidder on Craigslist in order to pay for the bird you prefer: the former is responsible, the latter would be unforgivable.

The other thing worth saying is that dream birds don't always work out the way you expect either. I don't know of any species that doesn’t come with negative qualities as well as positive ones, cuddly babies don't always end up as you expect them once puberty kicks in, and it's risky to think if one species didn't work out for you another one is going to be perfect.

Jayyj said:

whilst I tried to coax my miserable specimen out

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Alice! Shut your ears, darling, she's not talking about you.....

I also think it's a mistake to think that there's such a thing as a species character that you'll be sure to get if you get that type of bird. Another macaw might not be like Fargo or birdman's birds or any others that you see and admire...

My vet has a clinic cat that I love. He's special. They got another of the same breed and she's nice enough, but she's not special like the other one. I used to say that I'd like a cat of that breed, but really, I'd just want that particular cat. Even if you made a decision that things would be "better" with somebody else, you don't know that to be true.

Each of us with galahs has a different bird. Getting a "galah" (or macaw, or anything) isn't getting the same thing as what somebody else has with their individual.

I thought just like you did when I recently got my greenwing macaw. I read other people's posts about how great they were and how cuddly, etc. Fell in love with pictures of other birds cuddling up to their owners. Watched videos of macaws having the best time with their people. I ordered one and it recently arrived. The reality for me was very different. She did not arrive tame, well socialized, or happy to see us. She seemed quite ready to rip some fingers off if she could reach them, actually. The point is every bird is different, every situation is different. Getting a new bird if you can't handle the one you have won't be a magical cure. I have had and loved so many species of birds over the course of my life so imagine my surprise when I got one that seems to detest all of us. I've never had this problem with any other type of bird in my life, they always loved me in the end. Our dream bird hates us right now. What is to be done about that for me or for you? Work on it. Figure out the problem and fix it. I know I can reach this bird if I'm willing to put in the time and effort. Having a parrot is like having a long term commitment like a marriage. They take work, the relationship must be developed over time. You can't stop trying to be a good owner any more than you can stop being a supportive mate for another human being. If you do the relationship breaks down and dissolves. I just ordered some training DVDs to figure out what we're doing wrong because there has to be a reason this isn't working out any better than when she first arrived. I have a clicker on the way to start clicker training with. I'm not giving up on her. I'll do my part to the best of my ability. Maybe if you work with your bird you might have the relationship you've always wanted. I don't know, I can't speak from a position of knowing whether or not that will work. All any of us can do is try our best and hope things will work out. Good luck to you on whatever you decide to do. I know you'll figure out what's best for you and for your bird.

How long have you had your AG?? It takes a while for them to adjust especially if they have been mistreated in their previous home. My BFA took 2 months before she would come to me and step up to me...now she's great! (with me). My U2 took 4 full months before she would step up to me. Some take shorter or longer time frames to adjust and trust. I don't think getting rid of your grey to replace it for a mac would be a good idea. There's no guarantee that a big mac will be any better match for you.