Honest opinions needed

Hi all I'm writing this thread with a heavy heart but I need honest opinion
please say what you want to I will take nothing said as an insult but said with love and caring for our beloved birds

As some of you know I adopted a 6yr old moustache parrot last week
yes I have only had him 1 week

He came with a mate ( also s male ) who I was told he liked but was not overly attached to and he was still very happy to have human contact

Well I think I was a little mislead
he is totally totally totally bonded to this bird

I know he needs an adjustment period but he is a total monster
he lunges and bites with vengance ( never failed to draw blood )
I do my best not to react and to get him to step up sometimes yes others no
he has injured his mate thru biting him trying to get him away from me

If I get him out alone he wants nothing to do with you and constantly flies back to cage or bites and attacks you if he can't see the cage

If I get the older bird out he happily steps up calling constantly to his mate
he feeds him preens him and even does mating dances to him

Mikki the older bird is being worn out by his constant pestering
I feel horrible as he has only just come to us but I'm thinking. Maybe I should contact a good breeder I know Anc do a swap for a baby or such

I feel terribly like I'm letting both him and myself down but I just see no hope for this situation

Mikki has bonded with us all and my sons are just in love with him ad he's a placid old soul so we would keep him and sell/ swap Merlin as a breeder

I should mention also I don't have the time , space or money for seperate cages however the cage I do have is very large 90cm square

Your opinions please. What do I do ????

a week is much too short a time to make this kind of decision IMO. The birds need time to adjust, and a week's really not enough. It took a week for Buddy to be willing to step up all the time for me, and she's one of the best socialized, most gentle and easy going birds I've encountered. Period. I really think you may be both jumping to conclusions, and pushing the process too fast. If the birds really are bonded, as they seem, then Merilin is having to adjust not just to a new place and flok, but to the competition you are providing for Mikki's attention. This is a big change for a bird.

think about it this way: you are emotionally a teenager, and mentally a toddler, both you and your girlfiend move to a new town where you don't know anyone and you don't know where anything is, then your girlfriend meets a new best friend who is male. They spend all their time away from you together. Although the relationship may indeed be fully platonic, are you going to be OK with it in a week? How about a month?

the comparison isn't that much of a stretch. You are going to be grumpy, testy, and possibly act out violently.

I think this is exactly what is happening here, in bird terms...

both birds need time to adjust, and to settle into the household. This means getting a chance to just be birds in the new environment before you try to make them be your friends and companions.

read some of Von's posts about Cal and try to take it to heart. The kids may love Mikki, you may love Mikki, Mikki may love you all already, but Merlin obviously has a different opinion and perhaps a little space is needed for them to just Be Birds in a new place before too many demands are placed on their little feathered heads.

patience, nothing good ever happens fast while training birds.

I'm fully aware of not rushing things and I'm not pushing them to do anything they are unhappy with
what am i meant to do though I can't take mikki out and leave Merlin in the cage or he starts to pluck instantly
and I can't take him out as he takes chunks out of me
I have tried to sit next to the cage holding mikki while Merlin is shut in all he did was lunge at cage bars scream insesantly and start plucking

I'm trying my hardest but I can't see how as a human I can bond with him when he is already bonded to his own kind

I must stress it is only him who is in love with mikki . Mikki would rather be without him

Just me being nosy, as I have never owned two birds at once.

Maybe Mikki can help you train Merlin? Don't take Mikki away from the cage for a while...long enough for Merlin to at least adjust to the change of scenery.

I'm thinking Merlin is just less adaptable to change than Mikki. Mikki is the only familiar thing he has right now, so when you "threaten" to take that away, he freaks out. Maybe Merlin will eventually learn you are not the devil, by watching how Mikki looks forward to your cage visits. And hopefully, you can proceed from there.

Maybe it will just take some more time. I hope it gets better. That's a tough situation, I'm sure. Hang in there.

I have had my sun a couple months now, he still hates me and loves the wife.....oh well, I will wear the glove from now on, he realized he cant hurt me thru it and he stopped biting it, but if I take it off he will bite me lightning fast!!!

I have tried holding millet and such through the bars or even just sitting and talking to them both any time mikki comes near to me or even moves 1 step towards me he bites mikki for daring to show me attention and runs up the cage trying to attack me

I'm still holding out hope but right Now I can't see much light at end of tunnel and that already breaks my heart as this Is not at all what I wanted for these birds
I wanted to be there forever home living happily with our family enjoying life with a human flock with all the love and kindness I can offer
I can give that to mikki for the years he has left but Merlin I'm just not sure :,(

Aww thankyou Jawz, I'm glad you think I could be of help to someone.

Dj, in all honesty.....it IS a case of time and patience. I can fully understand. I once "rescued" and tamed 2 cockatiels who lived together. Basically, a friend wanted to have them from a "friend of a friend" who didn't interact with them which led to this situation. They asked me (she who is not scared of bites and tantrums lol) to see if I would work with them for a month or so before my friend adopted them permanantly. (With me so far??? ha!) My friend had no experience but was willing to love them and care for them. They are still with her now over 5 yrs down the line and she'd not part with them for anything.

The "nice" one was Charlie, the "bad tempered" one was Barney. Barney picked on Charlie, biting his feet and wings. Neither had had enough human interaction and clearly the previous owners had just given them up as a loss. I considered seperating them, but this wasn't the objective and wasn't my decision to make so I had to find a way round that.

Charlie bit but not as hard so I worked with him first. I basically taught him the basics of step up and then found that Barney followed suit. This was inside the cage so they were together. When I felt comfortable that they would be ok outside the cage, I took them into the smallest room of my house in the cage and took them out one at a time and sat them both on the cage. I then worked with Charlie while Barney stood there looking put out and annoyed!

I continued to do this every day because it seemed to work. They weren't without eachother, Charlie was coming on in leaps and bounds and Barney was becoming inquisitive. When they went back into the cage, eventually (after 4-5 sessions if memory serves me) Barney stopped attacking Charlie. One day relatively soon after, I put out the stick for Charlie to come and be fussed and treated and Barney hopped on! I stroked Charlie and told him he was clever and he stayed on the cage while I worked with Barney. He took the treat and I had his full attention. I told him he was clever and managed to stroke him for quite a while before he bit me - it wasn't as hard as the previous times.

I had them for around 5 weeks and was sorry to see them go (Selfishly, I couldn't cope with doing a similar thing again and then giving them up). Charlie was the still the darling but Barney had become tolerant and happyin his own way. They both flew to me on command, could be stroked and Barney only ever bit if you ignored his body language. They took brilliantly to clicker training.

I believe that the behaviour was simply caused because they had been stuck in a cage with noone sure what to do. It goes without saying that before I took on this temp. fostering I read EVERYTHING I could get my hands on so I knew what I was
letting myself in for - and that method STILL wasn't full proof.

Barney and Charlie were 2 different birds with 2 different sets of needs and 2 completely different personalities. One was dominant, the other not. One understood I was kind almost immediately, the other was suspicious.

The bottom line was I HAD to train them both and what works for one may not work for the other. They were individuals and had to be treated as such. I'm pretty sure Charlie would always be anyones favourite because he was a really sweet bird. Barney had his own merits though such as doing a funny "bum sway" dance when you came to the cage for "out" time lol. He was never going to be like Charlie but that was fine because he was Barney.

I hope that helped in some way for you. My bottom line is this. You take on pets of any type knowing their personalities and needs are all different. You've said yourself you can't trust what the previous owners of Mikki and Merlin have said. I URGE you to give this 4-5weeks like I did. You don't even have to try my idea but listen to your birds. Turfing Merlin out and away from everything he knows just because he can't live up to expectation seems awfully harsh to me. He will never be like Mikki but you CAN make him happy and if that's not what half of pet ownership is, then I don't know what is. You can learn to love him for him. Don't be yet another person to give up on him just because he's not Mikki. Please.

If you want someone to help you through this then I offer my services whole heartedly. You can message me anytime you like and we'll "do this together". I'm certainly not an expert, I learn every single day and when I got Cal, I remembered precisely nothing of what I did with these pair and my own budgies before them!!! My mind went blank! I don't claim to know much about anything but I'm feeling like you feel a bit lost and my offer is there if you want to take it. If not, I won't be offended. I just hope all 3 of you can be happy and delighted with eachother and life however that comes to be.

What a lovely offer, Von! Dj, it can't hurt to try it... for a little longer.

Von you sure are a darling.
Take on the offer, Dj, be patient and just try a little longer.
If this helps you out a little ............
I have got two teenager sons and Mishka, I have somehow managed to keep them all

Von, lovely advice. I couldn't have said it better.

You just gotta love it when people go out of their way to help others, makes me proud to be associated with such bird brains such as you :09:, and thank you Von for not wasting any time as a new member making your presence felt

Thankyou von I will definatly take your offer

please everyone don't think I'm giving up on them already as I'm not and I really do hope things can work out for the 3 of us
I'm just so lost as to where to even begin


Where do I start please I can't sit next to the cage and talk to them as any time mikki makes a move toward me Merlin attacks him
if I want to get mikki out I have to make sure he is at top of cage and Merlin at bottom and work very quickly to get mikki out before Merlin races up top taking a chunk out of mikki and me in the process
he then screams bloody murder starts lunging at the cage and pulling his feathers out

I'm so lost and it does break my heart I only want what's best for these birds

Okie coke, lets see if we can solve this together then and I'm sure other members will be super helpful on the road too!

Think of this as an adventure and above all FUN and REWARDING!!!

It's just jealousy. Think of it from Merlin's point of view. He's yet to understand the joys of a kind, attentive owner. He wants attention from Mikki because he doesn't know how good it can be from you. Mikki's ahead - he knows humans can be great!

Have you tried doing step up with a stick INSIDE the cage? It's great because both birds have no choice but to feel your presence and Merlin can't attack Mikki if you're essentially in there too. I think he'll be too busy watching the stick!! It'll also stop you being bitten. If both fly away in fright or you feel you're not getting a good reception, just hold your hand in there with the stick and don't move it. This is all getting them used to you being around. Work with Mikki first. If Merlin by chance attacks Mikki, work with him instead as it could be a dominance thing. Just like any animal there's a hierachy and you have to embrace that. Keep switching between the pair, talking calmly, cooing, smiling....

Don't give up because it's all distraction and will take a good few sessions to sort out! Listen to what they're telling you. If Merlin sits and shakes and generally looks put out - that's ok! He's observing as well as being a grumpy bum! If Mikki wants to just sit beside you through the bars, let him! Reassure with your voice all the time when your hand is in the cage. Keep calm, let them feel there's all the time in the world and no matter what goes on in that cage, you're still there, you're staying and you will continue to babble on about rubbish for as long as it takes them to settle down.

Nothing much will happen at first except a possible mad flurry of flapping birds and aggression on Merlin's part but it WON'T be quick, you've got to teach Merlin a new way of life and if someone tried that with you A) You'd be WELL annoyed and B) It'd take you quite some time to adjust!!! Try to bear that in mind

There's no time limit on sessions but it can't be too abrupt. I used to sit with my arm in the cage babbling rubbish for at least 15mins-half hour. You don't want to tire them out but the longer you spend with them, the quicker things should progress. You'll probably have to do this every day for a week to see a marked difference in behaviour.

If this sounds good to you and you want to give it a bash - let me know what happens on the way and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised! I certainly hope so!

Thankyou for not giving up on him! xx

theres till hope, interact not with just 1 parrot but with both of them, if he bites u, bobby told me to use clicker training so his negative action becomes less and he will be tame, just step by step, dont rush things