I have to leave him - Help Me :(

bondanind

New member
Feb 18, 2017
8
0
Hi.
A few months ago I asked here about our parrot having stress problems.

We have Alexandrine, I (33yo) raised him since he was 3 weeks old. He is now 14 years old.

He didn't have an easy life, at 4yo he escaped and was found, then was neglected for a few years by me, but lately I did a huge mistake.

In the past 2 years I was working from home, programming, with him in the same room. During this period, he became my best and most loyal friend.

It's only me and him everyday from morning to evening.

The only person he see is me, and he became really needy. I can not go to shower, or go out without seeing him crying and going crazy. He became stressed , obsessed with me, and pulled some of his feathers. But still happy when i am there.

The only thing he wants from me, is to keep playing with him. Everyday.

Now, within 20 days, I have to leave the country for 5 months, or even 7.
I am going to be sad, but most importantly I can't stand the fact that he is going to miss me so badly, wondering why I left him.

I am crying now writing this to you. He is my best friend in this life, and I don't know how to tell him that my mom will take care of him. That I still love him.
:(


I am afraid he will become too depressed without me, but maybe, maybe I am wrong and he just need a break from this craziness. I also had 2 bad years, and maybe he also feels that.


My mom loves him and will be with him half day, everyday, but she cant take him out of his cage because sometimes he fly around and she is getting nervous.


What should I do ? You think it's good for him taking this break from this madness with me? or you think he might become too sad? :(

Do they adapt?
Should I do this at once, or gradually ?

I love him so much.
:green1:
 

itchyfeet

New member
Nov 1, 2014
1,013
7
Middle Earth
Parrots
Ethyl the cockatiel, Henry & Clarke the IRN's, and Skittles the lovebird (my daughters)
Big hugs!
I think you should do it gradually, with time. If Mum is able to get close to him and handle him, and occasionally have a day or two where he's reliant on her for cage time/scritches/treats, it could be okay. No it's not ideal, but we can't control everything in life and he wont be the first parrot nor the last to go through change. It sounds like mum is pretty capable.
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Big decisions, but you always have options. Having raised and lived with him for 14 years, it would be difficult to adopt him to another family because of an absence of months or even one year. During the next few weeks, would it be possible to better socialize him with your mother? There are many techniques depending on how tame he is with you. One possibility, though not the best, is to have his wings clipped. This eliminates the hazards of flight, and may make him more dependable and friendly to your mom. This might be a last resort, as there are downsides to clipping.

As an alternative, do you have trusted friends who are comfortable with birds and would keep him during your absence? You would have to very carefully consider the hazards and whether local property rights would protect you should there be any dispute upon return.
 

LordTriggs

New member
May 11, 2017
3,427
24
Surrey, UK
Parrots
Rio (Yellow sided conure) sadly no longer with us
deep breathes!

You've had a lot of ups and downs so can understand how upset you are. Parrots are very empathetic creatures and yours clearly knows you didn't mean to make mistakes and does clearly care for you. It's est to let your mother come see him and take him to your mother giving them time together while you can. Get your mother used to the idea of them flying, you'd be surprised how quickly people and parrots adapt. My mum is terrified of birds, would avoid wild birds liek the plague, didn't like budgies even! And with my conure Rio who would never hurt anyone she would not let him near her. yet 2 weeks ago she happily had a ringneck that none of us ever met on her shoulder kissing her ear! and even gave a Moluccan Too a scratch!

Don't think of it as abandoning them but more an extended vacation from each other
 
OP
B

bondanind

New member
Feb 18, 2017
8
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #6
Thank you guys .
He has a special character, he is very needy, requires a LOT of attention, touching and playing and kissing like a kid, even that he is over 14yo.

I afraid something bad would happen if he will miss me too much.

He is my baby. Really.
 

wrench13

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Nov 22, 2015
11,383
Media
14
Albums
2
12,567
Isle of Long, NY
Parrots
Yellow Shoulder Amazon, Salty
One word. Skype. Parrots can see monitor screens, and hear your voice clearly. Try it, one of 3 things will happen. Nothing. He will stay connected or it will make the situation worse.
 
OP
B

bondanind

New member
Feb 18, 2017
8
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #8
Wow, parrots can see monitors? I am not sure about mine :) he is not that smart ( and this is why I love him so much).

When I show him things on my mac he doesn't really care.
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Wow, parrots can see monitors? I am not sure about mine :) he is not that smart ( and this is why I love him so much).

When I show him things on my mac he doesn't really care.

Oh, definitely they can! I frequently take pics or videos with my iPhone and play it back... they absolutely react! Try doing so with a smaller monitor such as a phone and see what happens!
 

wrench13

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Nov 22, 2015
11,383
Media
14
Albums
2
12,567
Isle of Long, NY
Parrots
Yellow Shoulder Amazon, Salty
We watch youtube videos of other parrots all the time. Salty is learning to sing opera from one video.
 

Sandy19

Member
Mar 22, 2017
449
8
I'm on vacation now for a week and gave peanut a light clip before I left her with my adult kids. She only goes to me and my youngest daughter so she's being a bit of a pita when it's time for them to get her back in the cage, but everyone is managing and shall survive. Peanut will be the same bird when I get back, just like any other pet.
 

Sandy19

Member
Mar 22, 2017
449
8
She can still fly a little bit, but she's behaving like a bad 3 year old. My son said that she flys away from him and walks around the house like she owns it lol. But she's always had a strict bedtime of 8:30 pm on her own free will so she will go back to her cage on her own for bed.
 

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top