Is my bird too attached to me?

I did some searches to see if this isn't a subject beaten to death but nothing came up so I'm going to go ahead and post.

Also sorry but this post was longer than intended.

I have a Cinnamon Green cheek Conure that I've had about a year and a half and he's about two years old. When I first got him he wasn't the tamest bird, the pet store used a towel to get him out etc. I've had a few cockatiels growing up so I wasn't afraid or timid, and after about 10 minutes I could hold him to my chest and pet him, and probably about an hour later he was fine on my shoulder so I'm sure he was hand fed as a baby at least.

My question is seemingly the opposite of most posts on here about gaining trust and bonding. I'm almost afraid my bird is too bonded to me. He's used to me going to work and because I work nights as an electrical tech he sleeps through most of it. But when I'm home he absolutely will not let me out of his sight or get off me depending on the room.

In the living room he might play on the back of the couch, put if I get up he perks up, if I'm reading in bed he will get off to jump on the pillows back and forth but if I move down to the foot of the bed he will follow.

In the downstairs den where I spend most my time he is either on me, or going down to the desk to grab food then comes back up to eat it on me. This is as far as he will go from me. In fact when he was younger and used to try to bite, punishment was a time out of putting him on the floor, he'd walk back and be sweeter when he climbed back up so that was a bonus but....

He won't just play by himself, he plays with toys in the cage but he won't explore, forage, do anything without me if I'm not around or within a couple feet or so. I'm sure some people will say "oh your so lucky"....but I'd like to see him just run around having fun without me, while me being in the same room. We play chase and tag on the floor but if I lag to far behind he runs right back to me.

I take him outside on my shoulder and on car rides at times, his wings are clipped but even if they weren't I doubt he'd fly away (not risking it, I love him). He's intelligent, knows a few phrases and amazingly uses them in context. "come on" "come here" "I love you" all used correctly in whatever situation we are in, whether it's being separated or cuddling.

Another consideration is he may be too spoiled, I have at least a dozen toys for him, he eats what I eat if it's healthy. He's good about eating his pellets and papaya treats, loves bathing regularly, no feather plucking and has no other health issues as far as I can see.

so 1) is this dependent relationship healthy for him? ..is it normal for a single bird and single owner? 2) Is this a fear reaction? he's been in the house to long to feel any predator danger I have to imagine. The only fear calls were for some black pots I used to own...hated those for some reason. And purple popsicle until he saw me eat it. 3) is there a way to make him more independent

Thank you

Well, I have a similarly "focused" bird. Others here will have better advice about teaching your bird to be less dependent, more at ease with playing alone, accepting limits.
But something did jump out at me. Even with clipped wings, a small or light-bodied or strong-winged bird can be swept away into the sky by a strong wind or an adrenalin-gushing scare.
Maybe you can be guided here towards a suitable harness.
At our house, we do it the wrong way, like just about everything. I shove the Rb down my shirt and hold him in place as he peeks out from the neck or hem. Or we use a carrier. Hey, when I first got him, bird-harnesse weren't even invented, as far as I know.
Good luck!

He's jumped off a few times, I keep his wings at a "glide down only" level of flight. I actually test him about once week putting him on a shelf and walking away because I know he will eventually try for me. And it's only back in the yard, there are no dogs or other predators about, and it's only about 10 minutes at a time for some sunshine. I have a large yard. I'm not concerned about him wanting a "separation" or being attacked.

My Ollie is much the same way but it doesn't bother me at all. He does play alone in his cage if I am out of the house (we have a pet cam) but if I am there he wants to be on me or at least around me. If I leave him in his cage alone if he knows I am home he will scream for a little while but he'll give up unless he can hear me talking or something. Ollie is also a conure, lone bird in the house hold and clipped. Ollie is potty trained and that may be a reason him being on my is not as much of a bother because I have him to use the potty about every 20 to 30 mins or if he really must go he lets me know with his body language. I have bird stands in every room I am frequently in for long periods of the time and when I go to the bathroom to take a shower or get ready for the day he's always with me on my shoulder or on a stand 2 feet away. For me the thing is...why wouldn't you want your bird with you, in the same room as you every possible moment? For me it's a non-issue, it's just my life and it's very natural for me to take Ollie with me from room to room. A single bird in the house they NEED us, we are their only flock mates and we're weird ones. Your bird misses you sooo much when you aren't home and he LONGS to be with you (his mate) as much as possible when you are home. Keep in mind that you CAN teach your bird since he is clipped to spend more independent time in cake if you are seriously feeling overwhelmed by putting him in there and closing the cage and leaving the room. He will stop screaming eventually and you'll have taught him to spend time alone, it will take some time though. I know my birdie Ollie will hang out in his cage alone in the house even if I am there in another room but only if the door is shut, he hates being on a play stand or the play top of his cage if I am not in the room and will scream bloody murder until I "save" him. He feels safe in his cage with the door ONLY. Birds are weird like that sometimes. As for being too bonded...I personally don't think you are too bonded. Seems normal to me! Regarding having your bird outside: I never used to put Ollie in a harness until one day I walked out the front door with Ollie on my shoulder and he got scared by a lawnmower 2 yards away and hopped off me and a gust of wind came and carried him to my roof. My babysitter and I rescued him in 2 minutes but it was very scary. Beware.

My Jessica eats beside me or on me ,has to see me at all times or calls for me! Sitting on me nibbling at me at all times , only plays on floor if I'm right there .. I love it she's like a toddler. .needs to try everything I eat or drink... and I spoil her rotten with more toys than my children lol

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Not too bonded. Birds are flock animals, and most birds hate being alone. It is normal for a single bird to bond with its owner.

Birds are prey animals, they have an instinct to feel in danger most of the time. Being in a new environment is scary and fun for a bird. They explore and stay alert at the same time.

Put him in his cage and leave the room. Ignore any and all screaming.
That's how I got my cockatiel to accept being alone, he use to be a lot like your bird. Never leaving my side. Although he never left, not even for food or water, so I had to bring it to him. He was even more bonded to me than your bird is bonded to you.
And I think the separation makes the bond stronger.

Even a clipped bird can fly away, one of mine did and he was clipped. You should have a harness on your bird, even the tamest bird will fly away. All it takes is something that scares the bird, and off it goes.


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Ok thanks for the input, I was just concerned if it was something out of the norm and if he was...how do I say this...mentally developing well.

And don't get me wrong I love him on me, I just can't get a video of him doing antics and some of the funny stuff he does when he's sitting on my shoulder.

Thank you

Welcome to the forums, and thanks for a great first post!

You've broached a subject lurking just below the surface. For every thread lamenting the lack of a bird-human connection there are many folks with highly bonded or "overbonded" birds. The big picture to those of us with companion birds is recognizing we provide them an artificial environment.

The level of adaptation varies considerably. You've tamed him exceedingly well and he clearly enjoys your company. I don't remotely view this as a fear response. Might be nice to have him self entertain a bit with toys. Perhaps removing all but 2 or 3 and rotate them frequently? Or give a very special treat and leave him for a few minutes?

Bottom line is we may not understand the range of a bird's emotions, but we do our very best to provide quality of life. If you are happy with the situation, call it a robust win-win!

And yes, please be careful outdoors. Gusts of wind can carry a bird quite a distance. Not familiar with wild birds in MN, but raptors have keen vision and may attack from above with no warning.

Sunnyclover said:

My Ollie is much the same way but it doesn't bother me at all. He does play alone in his cage if I am out of the house (we have a pet cam) but if I am there he wants to be on me or at least around me. If I leave him in his cage alone if he knows I am home he will scream for a little while but he'll give up unless he can hear me talking or something. Ollie is also a conure, lone bird in the house hold and clipped. Ollie is potty trained and that may be a reason him being on my is not as much of a bother because I have him to use the potty about every 20 to 30 mins or if he really must go he lets me know with his body language. I have bird stands in every room I am frequently in for long periods of the time and when I go to the bathroom to take a shower or get ready for the day he's always with me on my shoulder or on a stand 2 feet away. For me the thing is...why wouldn't you want your bird with you, in the same room as you every possible moment? For me it's a non-issue, it's just my life and it's very natural for me to take Ollie with me from room to room. A single bird in the house they NEED us, we are their only flock mates and we're weird ones. Your bird misses you sooo much when you aren't home and he LONGS to be with you (his mate) as much as possible when you are home. Keep in mind that you CAN teach your bird since he is clipped to spend more independent time in cake if you are seriously feeling overwhelmed by putting him in there and closing the cage and leaving the room. He will stop screaming eventually and you'll have taught him to spend time alone, it will take some time though. I know my birdie Ollie will hang out in his cage alone in the house even if I am there in another room but only if the door is shut, he hates being on a play stand or the play top of his cage if I am not in the room and will scream bloody murder until I "save" him. He feels safe in his cage with the door ONLY. Birds are weird like that sometimes. As for being too bonded...I personally don't think you are too bonded. Seems normal to me! Regarding having your bird outside: I never used to put Ollie in a harness until one day I walked out the front door with Ollie on my shoulder and he got scared by a lawnmower 2 yards away and hopped off me and a gust of wind came and carried him to my roof. My babysitter and I rescued him in 2 minutes but it was very scary. Beware.

Click to expand...

My little monkey is the same way. He would be stitched to me permanently if it were up to him. The nice thing about him though is as long as he sees me, he's quiet and has learned to chirp for my attention rather than scream.

OMG, Sunnyclover! You were able to get a harness on him? I have tried with my sun conure. Tried for about a year and a half and gave up. Please tell me what your trick was, if any?

Thanks!

This is actually helpful info for me too with a baby.

I have an Eclectus who are "supposed" to be more independent but she is still visibly content in my company, and if both me and my partner are present she is even happier.

I noticed that when I spend more extended time with her and have to put her away (usually to do something requiring opening external doors) she will occasionally throw a tantrum (usually flinging herself around the cage and making concerning noises with occasional contact screeches) <-- that gets ignored until she calms down and is quiet, and then she gets a contact call back

It's good to know that her distinct inclination for our company is expected, buutt I think I still want to teach her quiet cage time is expected in our house. I don't know if I"m into those tantrums!

Kalel said:

Sunnyclover said:

My Ollie is much the same way but it doesn't bother me at all. He does play alone in his cage if I am out of the house (we have a pet cam) but if I am there he wants to be on me or at least around me. If I leave him in his cage alone if he knows I am home he will scream for a little while but he'll give up unless he can hear me talking or something. Ollie is also a conure, lone bird in the house hold and clipped. Ollie is potty trained and that may be a reason him being on my is not as much of a bother because I have him to use the potty about every 20 to 30 mins or if he really must go he lets me know with his body language. I have bird stands in every room I am frequently in for long periods of the time and when I go to the bathroom to take a shower or get ready for the day he's always with me on my shoulder or on a stand 2 feet away. For me the thing is...why wouldn't you want your bird with you, in the same room as you every possible moment? For me it's a non-issue, it's just my life and it's very natural for me to take Ollie with me from room to room. A single bird in the house they NEED us, we are their only flock mates and we're weird ones. Your bird misses you sooo much when you aren't home and he LONGS to be with you (his mate) as much as possible when you are home. Keep in mind that you CAN teach your bird since he is clipped to spend more independent time in cake if you are seriously feeling overwhelmed by putting him in there and closing the cage and leaving the room. He will stop screaming eventually and you'll have taught him to spend time alone, it will take some time though. I know my birdie Ollie will hang out in his cage alone in the house even if I am there in another room but only if the door is shut, he hates being on a play stand or the play top of his cage if I am not in the room and will scream bloody murder until I "save" him. He feels safe in his cage with the door ONLY. Birds are weird like that sometimes. As for being too bonded...I personally don't think you are too bonded. Seems normal to me! Regarding having your bird outside: I never used to put Ollie in a harness until one day I walked out the front door with Ollie on my shoulder and he got scared by a lawnmower 2 yards away and hopped off me and a gust of wind came and carried him to my roof. My babysitter and I rescued him in 2 minutes but it was very scary. Beware.

Click to expand...

My little monkey is the same way. He would be stitched to me permanently if it were up to him. The nice thing about him though is as long as he sees me, he's quiet and has learned to chirp for my attention rather than scream.

OMG, Sunnyclover! You were able to get a harness on him? I have tried with my sun conure. Tried for about a year and a half and gave up. Please tell me what your trick was, if any?

Thanks!

Click to expand...

Well Ollie doesn't love his harness but he doesn't ever bite me so I am able to get it on him because he trusts me. He is definitely annoyed as I am doing it and protests with a high pitched scream or 2 but doesn't freak out enough to hurt himself. I just tell him "it's okay baby no bite" he bites the harness as I put it on him sometimes and I tell him all the good things we will do when we have the harness on and he calms down. If I put in on a few days in a row he gets pretty used to it but if it's been a while he'll get a bit annoyed and protest. He's such a good boy I am the luckiest girl in the world. I don't even use treats to get him used to it because he lets me do whatever to him because he knows I am his mommy!

I have the exact same problem as the original post from Clark. Well, except one difference. I have three birds. My quaker is most certainly overly bonded to me. I MUST be in visual range or he will scream consistently. I've had him about four years now. I've tried ignoring him when he does this, but after four years, he's still freaking out if he can't see me. He has two other friends, but that doesn't matter. He even goes as far as trying to protect me from them. There is nothing to protect me from though. The other birds cannot get near my face or he will run them off. He has to be the closest one to my face. If one of the other birds is sitting on my shoulder, he'll insert himself between them and my face. My setup: All three birds have their own room. They are allowed freedom in that room all day. There are two cages. One for the quaker and conure, the other for the bee bee. They sleep in their respective cages at night and come out into the room in the morning and stay in there all day, unless I'm home and let them out. My husband cut a hole and installed a window in the adjoining room, where my office is so he can sit on the ledge and watch me work at my desk. If he can see me there, he's fine. However, if I leave the room, all bets are off. I am truly at my wits end. I cannot leave my office to do chores, laundry, dishes, whatever without him screaming. I do not take any birds with me through the rest of the house. They have two rooms they have free range of, that's plenty. I will open the window between the two room and let all three in when ever I can, while at home. When I come back into my office, then he's fine again. It seems I need to somehow let him know he has other friends to play with. I am not the center of his universe. I came this close (image a little gap between my thumb and index finger) to re-homing him. My hubby said I'd never forgive myself, which he's probably right, I love him to death, as with the other two. Please help! How do I keep him from screaming?

I was wondering why my first post was back on the active board.....lol

For me it's a non issue, I just take clark with me everywhere, to do the laundry, dishes chores etc. He's very helpful.

If I have to leave clark to say shovel snow or go to the store he contact calls, but only for a bit. He's generally pretty quiet and knows I might be away a while so I don't know if I have that problem. One good thing so long as clarks cage is next to my bed, he will let me sleep and not make a sound. It's when I'm up and could possibly be doing something without him he makes noise.

Maybe cover the window as an experiment? see if the contact calls stop after say five - ten mins?