is it cruel to sell my bird?

Ore

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Hello, I bought a budgie 1 week ago, on the 3rd day he start standing on my finger and eat from my hand, I did my best to be quite and calm and gain his trust..

I wanna say that I had a bird before, it was for a relative and it wasn't tamed, but I made it tame, I used to clean after it daily and take care of it, so I know what is to get a bird..

I'm having anxiety for many months, but I was happy this week with my new bird and we get along, but sometimes when I let him out of the cage he fly and run and keep acting like he's scared, although he went out of the cage by himself, then I spend the night thinking and worrying..

today I let him out because he was really bored and doesn't like to play with his toys, then he was acting like that again, freaking me out because I don't want him to get hurt..
anyway I had to grab him and put him in the cage while he was screaming so loud, I know it's not nice but I had to, he'll hit a wall by that crazy flying..

Since this morning I was really thinking that I've made a mistake by getting a bird, I'm really sensitive and he really made me feel sad for him and for myself ,also after today's incident I feel he hates me, he never looks to my face as before when I talk to him.. my home is quite all the day so he's bored, I take a good care of him but he'll feel lonely and sad..
I don't want to put a baby bird in a cage and watch him die of boredom..

is it cruel to sell him? he's 3 months old, people who'll take a good care of him are people who need him for breeding, but they won't buy it at this age right?

I'm feeling really bad atm so please don't say harsh things, I know my mistakes..
 

LordTriggs

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instead of selling him you need to go back to square one.

when you're out put a radio on, many birds love it.

You need to keep him in the cage whilst you de-sensitize himself to you and eating from your hand. The first few days are the most nerve racking. There's plenty of threads on this forum about taming them.

As for when out of the cage do you chase him around or let him do his own thing? Coming out should be fun and if you're chasing him it's going to be the most terrifying thing going, remember we're predators and also remember that 1 week is a very short amount of time. some people take months to tame their bird.

Yes he will scream if you grab him, it probably hurt and even if not he thought he was about to be eaten. Think how scared you would be in that situation.

Don't sell the bird either way, you shouldn't be thinking of money, it's about his best interest. Breeders aren't the only people who take good care of a bird, in fact breeders are more likely to be bad as they get the birds to pump out children to make a living off. If you're going to give up which you shouldn't yet, then give him to a rescue. But you need to take your time. If he doesn't hit a wall then it's fine, all birds fly fast, it's how they survive and he's taking in his new home.

Many people have had to grab their bird and even do worse stuff like pulling out blood feathers and have a great relationship, once again back to square one, keep in the cage to settle then work slowly from their. That budgie should live for 10 years or so, so a couple weeks are nothing really
 

plumsmum2005

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Hi thanks for coming and asking advice. It's good to reach out.

Couple of questions, in your heart of hearts do you want to keep and be responsible for this little one, give him/her a good life? It is early days of your relationship and you need to build trust.

Can you cope with him/her or will it add to your problems?

Getting him tamer etc, we can help with and I will add a link for you. http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html

I had budgies, one, a little blue male, who lived to be 14, broke my heart when he passed away. He was such a character and very loving.
 
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Ore

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LordTriggs, thanks for your answers..

it's not that I gave up of taming him, but my heart gets weak when I see him bored and alone.. and I can't buy another 1, if they didn't like each other it'll be another problem.

I play radio all the time and budgies sounds, he likes it..


As for when out of the cage do you chase him around or let him do his own thing? Coming out should be fun and if you're chasing him it's going to be the most terrifying thing going

no I never do that, it wouldn't be nice to chase him I know that..

then give him to a rescue
unfortunately we don't have rescue here in my city :(


****

plumsmum2005 thanks for the link and for helping..

Hi thanks for coming and asking advice. It's good to reach out.

Couple of questions, in your heart of hearts do you want to keep and be responsible for this little one, give him/her a good life? It is early days of your relationship and you need to build trust.

thanks, I really needed to talk about this..
I always wanted to make a bird happy, I do but I feel I'm not enough for the task specially after my family starts changing few things, and I've become so weak lately..

Can you cope with him/her or will it add to your problems?

for around 2 weeks everything will be a problem, I'll keep worrying about him all the time and that'll make me worse actually, but it's not his fault I bought him right before a bad day that'll change many things..

I had budgies, one, a little blue male, who lived to be 14, broke my heart when he passed away. He was such a character and very loving.

this is really sad :(:( idk what'll happen to me if my bird die after such a long time..
 

LordTriggs

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okay, I would say not to lose hope.

It's something you should take a serious think about. I wouldn't act emotionally though, I'm pretty sure everyone who has owned a pet has had at least one moment when they think of getting rid of their pet, I know my mum has had that thought with all but one of her dogs over the years so you're not alone in thinking like that.

I think it's best to take a moment to step back, take a breather and try again with your budgie. You don't want to lose out on what could be an amazing relationship over a couple hiccups at the start. If you take another try go at your budgies pace and if that goes wrong you can re-evaluate things.it's very good that you're thinking of him through this instead of just yourself, it means you may happen to be the right person for the job of looking after him!

Chin up, pick yourself up, and have another go, working at his pace. I would say to wait until he's comfortable with you and happily taking treats before letting him out into your house just to make getting him back easier, and when you do just close the curtains/blinds and cover any mirrors to avoid an accident. It looks manic but that's just how a budgie flies
 

itzjbean

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I will say that owning birds is not like owning a dog or cat! They don't listen, they're flighty, get spooked easily, and generally choose what they want to do. I had a budgie as my first bird, I was maybe 8 years old. If you feel you aren't equipped to take care of him properly or have the time for him, you could give him back to the place you got him from. Mistakes happen and we are impulsive creatures. They are a big responsibility when it comes to making their lives not only healthy but happy. They thrive on attention and love, so if you don't think you can give that to your friend then I suggest bringing him back. No harm in admitting mistakes.
 
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Ore

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I think it's best to take a moment to step back, take a breather and try again with your budgie. You don't want to lose out on what could be an amazing relationship over a couple hiccups at the start. If you take another try go at your budgies pace and if that goes wrong you can re-evaluate things.it's very good that you're thinking of him through this instead of just yourself, it means you may happen to be the right person for the job of looking after him!

ok, I'm gonna give it another chance..
do you recommend buying a female baby in his age, as a company for him, this way I won't keep feeling sorry and try to get rid of him.. it'll help if I see him happy at least..

Chin up, pick yourself up, and have another go, working at his pace. I would say to wait until he's comfortable with you and happily taking treats before letting him out into your house just to make getting him back easier, and when you do just close the curtains/blinds and cover any mirrors to avoid an accident. It looks manic but that's just how a budgie flies

Thanks a lot, you really helped, I feel much much better and gonna try again slowly..


*******


I will say that owning birds is not like owning a dog or cat! They don't listen, they're flighty, get spooked easily, and generally choose what they want to do. I had a budgie as my first bird, I was maybe 8 years old. If you feel you aren't equipped to take care of him properly or have the time for him, you could give him back to the place you got him from. Mistakes happen and we are impulsive creatures. They are a big responsibility when it comes to making their lives not only healthy but happy. They thrive on attention and love, so if you don't think you can give that to your friend then I suggest bringing him back. No harm in admitting mistakes.

Thanks, I agree that we shouldn't keep them if we think we can't make them happy..
I do have time, but I felt it's not enough when I saw him bored although I'm with him 6 am til he sleeps..
I'm gonna try one last try then I'll decide, I want to find someone who'll care of him like I do or better..

thanks guys, I'm really glad that I came and ask you what to do..
 

Scott

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Welcome to the forums, thanks for joining! You've received excellent advice, hopefully you will develop a strong bond with your budgie!

Think of this as an adventure for both of you. Birds think differently from humans, but it is fair to say they experience many of the same emotions in some manner. A young bird in a new home seeks safety, food, and possibly companionship. While I am not familiar with budgies, they are adaptable and likely don't hold grudges as easily or long as some humans!

You may wish to start again from the first step. The Tips for Bonding and Building Trust thread is invaluable. Try reading softly and spending quiet time in his presence.

May I ask what you are feeding? Diet is very important and the use of treats can be helpful to develop trust.

Good luck, and please keep us advised of progress. I am not familiar enough with budgies to give advice for getting a second bird. Some species bond closely and will give you little thought!
 

LordTriggs

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no, another bird is not a good idea. It's never wise to get a bird for the benefit of a bird you already have trouble with. There's a lot of problems that can happy, if one is sick then it can spread to the other if not quarantined, they could not get in meaning you have to split your time between them, they could get on and exclude you making it impossible to bond with them and they could get on so well they have babies which becomes another issue.

Stick with one, do what you can with him. Make sure he has toys to keep himself occupied, you'd be amazed how easily they keep themselves entertained. My conure liked having some alone time when I went out but every time I came home I could hear him drop what he was doing to greet me. He knew me being around meant fun times, it just takes a while. He was scared of me at first but through some fumbling around and even a couple mis-steps we bonded on a level I've never bonded with an animal before
 

greytness

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I agree with Lord Triggs. If you're having difficulties adjusting to one bird, I don't believe bringing in another one will help if one is already causing you a lot of stress.

If you want to sell your bird, would the person you purchased him from take him back? One week seems like a reasonable time for someone to consider refunding you your money.

If your heart is set on keeping him, then we will support you in any way that we can to help you make it work.
 

wrench13

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Keep him. Building trust takes time. Figure out his favorite treat, and offer it to him from your hand, out side the cage to start. Talk softly to him as you sit next to the cage, or sing. Take your next moves from him, go at his pace, not yours. And read read read, there a lot of good info on this board, with good people to talk to when you have problems. What is your boy's name?
 

Kentuckienne

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Don't let your heart lead you astray. You can't know exactly what the budgie is feeling.

A single budgie can be very happy. You play with him when you can - there are some good posts of advice above about how to reboot your relationship - and you provide toys for him for when he's alone. Budgies like to ring bells, look in mirrors, chew things up...look in the parrot toys forum or for budgie advice to get some ideas of safe toys. If your bird learns to entertain himself he will be much happier. For example, in the wild birds must forage for food if they want to eat. There are foraging toys, the bird has to figure out how to find the food and get it out, and this makes them very happy.

If you search on YouTube for videos of Disco the Parakeet, you will see how happy a budgie can be with a human for company. Good luck to you, and keep coming back to tell us how it's going.
 

itchyfeet

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I just want to put the budgie aside for the moment and talk about you.
Your post is very emotive. Correctly so - it's an emotional time.
But we need to look at what we know.

As Kentuckinne said, you can't know what your budgie is feeling. And there is loads you can do for him, without needing to be directly with him.

I live with high functioning anxiety. Every day is a battle between fact and emotion. In my opinion, and it is just that, the decision to sell your budgie must be made when you are stable, not worried. I lost a horse after a panic that I wasn't good enough, when a stupid (horse at standstill) fall left me with a broken arm. I'll regret it forever. I wish I left it one more month.
 

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