Trust issues: Loves petting but terrified of my presence

ripventura

New member
Aug 21, 2019
7
0
I brought my baby home last Saturday, she’s a 1.5 years old Yellow-Faced Parrot.
I have moderate knowledge on birds but this one is putting some questions in my head.
First of all, I know she’s been only for a couple days with me!

What she accepts:
  • Eating Apple and treats from my hand
  • Body and neck petting (so cute)
What she’s still terrified:
  • Me approaching the cage standing up
  • Me approaching the cage on my knees (although she accepts it better than standing up)
  • HANDS
  • Me walking in her direction looking at her
Here’s what I don’t understand:
Every other bird I had first became comfortable with me around, and the last step was the neck scratch. This one is the opposite: if I approach her she’s still terrified, but if I manage to lure her to my arm she allows everything.

Does anyone have any suggestions? More specifically how can I make her trust me when I walk to interact with her?
 

Laurasea

Well-known member
Aug 2, 2018
12,593
10,702
USA
Parrots
Full house
People could have teased her while in cage, or beat on the cage while she was in there, so she rembers that. Since she does like you and accept treats and scritches , you just have to get her over this past.
My Quaker rescue only alloww me to come to her cage from the front, if I come from the side she starts screaming , fear flapping.
Just say hello and put a treat in the treat dish and walk away, do it over and over until she nolonger fears you coming to the cage.
Conatulations and good luck!
Read the blue sticky at the top of the Amazon forum page title I love Amazon ( I think)
 
Last edited:

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.

Tami2

Well-known member
Aug 18, 2017
5,088
2,454
New Jersey
Parrots
Levi - 6 yr old CAG

DOH-4/2/2016
More specifically how can I make her trust me

You can't, you have to earn her trust. That will take a lot of time and patience. I brought home a baby and I couldn't get near him for well over a month. Some parrots take even longer.
Check out the link Scott posted, it is very informative.
 

bill_e

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Dec 24, 2015
1,225
414
New Hampshire
Parrots
Nike a Hawk Head Parrot (Deroptyus accipitrinus)
If she's only been in your home a week you are likely benefiting from her being unsure of her environment. The petting (you should stop the body petting) and head scratching may be allowed now but once she settles in she might not be so receptive. The rest of her behavior shows that she's not comfortable and trusting yet.

Personally I would back off of the touching and spend lots of time in the same room with her talking, feeding her treats etc and do what you did with your previous birds to gain their trust....just take it slow.
 
OP
R

ripventura

New member
Aug 21, 2019
7
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #6
If she's only been in your home a week you are likely benefiting from her being unsure of her environment. The petting (you should stop the body petting) and head scratching may be allowed now but once she settles in she might not be so receptive. The rest of her behavior shows that she's not comfortable and trusting yet.

Personally I would back off of the touching and spend lots of time in the same room with her talking, feeding her treats etc and do what you did with your previous birds to gain their trust....just take it slow.

That made me nervous... So basically I can traumatise the bird by interacting too close with it even if it clearly allows it?

Also, when I pet her she doesn't just stay there like a statue (which could relate to a terrified behaviour)... She turns her head down and starts to blink her eyes really slow as she is about to sleep.

Considering you are right and I should stop petting her for now, when do you think it's the time to approach her again? What are the signs I need to look for?
 

Laurasea

Well-known member
Aug 2, 2018
12,593
10,702
USA
Parrots
Full house
I disagree with stopping petting. If you are just petting the head and give a scritch to the neck. I see no problems with that. It's just when you stroke the whole body that some birds see that as a sexual come on. I see no reason to stop a positive interaction between you too, birds groom each other. You should follow your heart and how you two interact, we here just give the best advice we can, we all have different ideas, but you are the one there with your bird, trust yourself to know best.
And all the rest does take time a d trust. It really sounds like you are doing well
 
Last edited:

bill_e

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Dec 24, 2015
1,225
414
New Hampshire
Parrots
Nike a Hawk Head Parrot (Deroptyus accipitrinus)
Laurasea, I agree that she should stop the body petting. As for the head scratching, my personal choice would be to just spend time next to her for a few days and try to make her more comfortable with my presence before forcing a head scratch, whether or not it appears that she is tolerating it.
 
OP
R

ripventura

New member
Aug 21, 2019
7
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #9
Thanks a lot guys, all of that makes sense...

I have one last question:

I didn't trim her wings because I didn't want to put her into all the stress (and also want her to fly to my arm in the future). Do you guy agree with that? My concern is that when she gets scared she flies into some wall / window and hurt herself...
Maybe clipped wings could provide more safety.
 

Gemster

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Aug 4, 2019
343
Media
5
341
Parrots
Valentine-budgie (M),
Daphne-budgie (F)
Rip-Sky
Rip-Bell
In my opinion, clipping wings is actually even more dangerous because if your bird was to fly out the window by accident while clipped he won’t be able to return to you. Even if she is flying ‘terribly’ now she can learn over time. People say that clipping is safer because they can’t fly into a window or you can take her outside without the danger of the bird flying away but that is not true because with wind and when they find that power birds can fly clipped. All my birds are flighted and one day I am planning on free flying all my birds (except the small ones).
It’s a pleasure to have a flying animal inside your home. I promise she will learn to fly soon and with flight training even sooner and better.
 

Laurasea

Well-known member
Aug 2, 2018
12,593
10,702
USA
Parrots
Full house
My birds are all flighted. Only when my baby Neptune was learning to fly and the breeder had already cut the wings did we have any problems. Now they race arou d the house all five, and bank and turn before hitting my sliding glass door or large picture window.
You can take your bird and walk the house, tap the glass, and see if the bird will tsp the glass with their beak, I walked the house showing and tappi g on walls and windows untill my baby quit crashing into them
 

Tami2

Well-known member
Aug 18, 2017
5,088
2,454
New Jersey
Parrots
Levi - 6 yr old CAG

DOH-4/2/2016
There are good arguments on both sides of the clipping issue.
My Vet is very pro clipping due infact to the safety reasons.
However, if you teach your parrot of the dangers in the home it won't be an issue. (staying away from the stove etc..)
But, there is also the possiblity that your bird will fly out the door never to be seen again.

Levi was clipped before I picked him up. My concern was he'd try to fly from his cage and he'd crash on the floor smashing his rib cage and constantly busting his tail feathers. After reading the pros & cons of flying and understanding both sides, I let his flight feathers grow in and he loves his independence.
 

dhraiden

Member
Jul 14, 2015
603
23
Queens NY
Parrots
Green Cheek Conure (Mochi)
Gold Capped Conure (Mango)
Take your time and go slow. Every bird learns at a different rate. Be a reassuring but not smothering presence and present yourself as a friendly giver of provisions and security.
 

Aspie_Aviphile

New member
Jul 19, 2018
145
13
England
Parrots
Biddy, budgie, departed 2nd Sept 2018; Bo, Indian Ringneck, 5th Feb 2020; </3
Both my birds were very hand-shy rehomes whom I tamed a lot more quickly than is widely expected, which could just be good luck on my part as all birds are different but for what it's worth I personally attribute it to the fact that I adopted as much parrot body language as I could, whereas most people stop at just reading it. I found both my budgie and my Indian Ringneck seemed to stop and stare curiously when I used parrot body language that they probably hadn't ever seen a human do before.

Until they were fully tame, whenever I made eye contact or even looked in their direction, I made sure my gaze was soft and my eyelids were never open wider than neutral, often slow-blinking, and I would wink sometimes which is a gesture that invites friendship among parrots. The thing that really seemed to peak Bo's interest and actually seemed to prompt him to immediately come and cautiously hang out next to me for the first time, was sitting down relaxed on the floor and teeth-grinding to imitate parrots' beak-grinding. Parrots only beak-grind when very relaxed, so if they believe you're settled in one spot and beak-grinding even though you know exactly where they are and could attack if you wanted to, they won't see you as interested in hunting or attacking them in any way. The same is true of preening, no species stops to casually preen themselves in fight-or-flight mode, so if you're seen as preening you'll be seen as less threatening. Wash or brush your hair next to your bird. Wide open eyes indicates a highly alert state, which is potentially threatening unlike a dopey, sleepy or uninterested state, so however excited or curious or nervous you feel never open your eyes wide until your parrot trusts you completely.
 
Last edited:

bill_e

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Dec 24, 2015
1,225
414
New Hampshire
Parrots
Nike a Hawk Head Parrot (Deroptyus accipitrinus)
You can get a mild clip so that the bird can fly to the floor. This prevents getting hurt and still allows the bird to fly from the perch to you provided you're not too far away. My Nike has a clip where the two outermost flight feathers are intact and the next 5 are clipped just below the cape and she can still get around pretty well but does not take off without some serious thought...which makes her flying much more manageable.
 

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top