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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-19-2020, 11:47 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

This doesn't have to be permanent--and if it is, you handled it much more responsibly than most.
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Old 05-19-2020, 11:49 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Thank you. I know I actually do care for him, the thought of giving him up actually tore me a part, but he is one of the best birds in the world and deserves the best. We shall see if I can give him that or not (as I had originally planned).
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Old 05-20-2020, 09:02 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

The breeder backtracked. They won’t take him back, and are still claiming he was fully weaned. I’m now unsure what to do.
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Old 05-20-2020, 10:07 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
The breeder backtracked. They won’t take him back, and are still claiming he was fully weaned. I’m now unsure what to do.
What was his reasoning?
That doesn't exactly look good for his business- I mean, I get that he might have concerns about disease or something, but you are a one-bird house and if you are telling him that you want him to take back the bird, it seems odd that he wouldn't when it's still very young and people would be interested....Did he explain himself? It makes it look like he doesn't care for the bird's welfare very much at all and is just in it for the money...I wish I knew what he was thinking other than dollar signs...but even then, he could still sell the bird...so....???

Would he do it if you were certain that you would not change your mind?

Maybe he doesn't want to go back and forth---I mean, I guess if he keeps the bird for a period of time and then you decide you DON'T want it back , then he would maybe lose a profit because it's harder to convince SOME people to buy a bird that isn't a super-young baby (which is ludicrous...but, he probably deals with uninformed people who think, the younger the bird, the better for bonding--which is so backwards--but it could be the market)...So then he could be "stuck" with a bird that has greater needs for interaction and play than the really young/docile babies he deals with typically..?

Last edited by noodles123; 05-20-2020 at 10:11 AM.
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Old 05-20-2020, 10:43 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Quote: Originally Posted by noodles123 View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
The breeder backtracked. They wonít take him back, and are still claiming he was fully weaned. Iím now unsure what to do.
What was his reasoning?
That doesn't exactly look good for his business- I mean, I get that he might have concerns about disease or something, but you are a one-bird house and if you are telling him that you want him to take back the bird, it seems odd that he wouldn't when it's still very young and people would be interested....Did he explain himself? It makes it look like he doesn't care for the bird's welfare very much at all and is just in it for the money...I wish I knew what he was thinking other than dollar signs...but even then, he could still sell the bird...so....???

Would he do it if you were certain that you would not change your mind?

Maybe he doesn't want to go back and forth---I mean, I guess if he keeps the bird for a period of time and then you decide you DON'T want it back , then he would maybe lose a profit because it's harder to convince SOME people to buy a bird that isn't a super-young baby (which is ludicrous...but, he probably deals with uninformed people who think, the younger the bird, the better for bonding--which is so backwards--but it could be the market)...So then he could be "stuck" with a bird that has greater needs for interaction and play than the really young/docile babies he deals with typically..?

Iím afraid it might be about money. They claim since they many dogs so they canít keep him inside due to it being unsafe to fly, and they donít have the room to house him properly for long. They are saying instead of holding him or refunding me they can only take the bird back to resell it and then I would get what the next person pays. I am trying to confront them and they are saying itís just regressive behavior due to a new environmentóI am confident it is not. Iím getting in contact with my avian vet, I in no way can confidentially handle caring for these needs without causing any trauma. I solely want the bird to be happy and each day Iím realizing I canít provide that as I thought I was able to.

They are trying to stay as a ďcontact for helpĒ but Iím realizing this is probably just them trying to be nice without having to take him back.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 05-20-2020, 11:05 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by noodles123 View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
The breeder backtracked. They won’t take him back, and are still claiming he was fully weaned. I’m now unsure what to do.
What was his reasoning?
That doesn't exactly look good for his business- I mean, I get that he might have concerns about disease or something, but you are a one-bird house and if you are telling him that you want him to take back the bird, it seems odd that he wouldn't when it's still very young and people would be interested....Did he explain himself? It makes it look like he doesn't care for the bird's welfare very much at all and is just in it for the money...I wish I knew what he was thinking other than dollar signs...but even then, he could still sell the bird...so....???

Would he do it if you were certain that you would not change your mind?

Maybe he doesn't want to go back and forth---I mean, I guess if he keeps the bird for a period of time and then you decide you DON'T want it back , then he would maybe lose a profit because it's harder to convince SOME people to buy a bird that isn't a super-young baby (which is ludicrous...but, he probably deals with uninformed people who think, the younger the bird, the better for bonding--which is so backwards--but it could be the market)...So then he could be "stuck" with a bird that has greater needs for interaction and play than the really young/docile babies he deals with typically..?

I’m afraid it might be about money. They claim since they many dogs so they can’t keep him inside due to it being unsafe to fly, and they don’t have the room to house him properly for long. They are saying instead of holding him or refunding me they can only take the bird back to resell it and then I would get what the next person pays. I am trying to confront them and they are saying it’s just regressive behavior due to a new environment—I am confident it is not. I’m getting in contact with my avian vet, I in no way can confidentially handle caring for these needs without causing any trauma. I solely want the bird to be happy and each day I’m realizing I can’t provide that as I thought I was able to.

They are trying to stay as a “contact for help” but I’m realizing this is probably just them trying to be nice without having to take him back.
1. IF THE BIRD ISN'T WEANED- It's totally unethical. PERIOD.

If weaning is a non-issue, I guess that kind of goes along with what I said about him not typically caring for older babies-- there is a huge difference between a 3 month old, vs a 5 month old vs a 1 year-old baby. If his chicks cannot fly then there is certainly less risk to them from other animals etc (and it's also a bit easier to provide for their "activity" needs and housing). This is why I could never be a breeder.

What he said sucks, but it kind of makes sense in terms of the whole re-sell/business factor (and even in terms of husbandry to some extent)-- he probably would take the financial loss himself if you didn't, so in his mind, he's probably thinking, I can sell the bird at a slightly lower price than a new baby, but if he gives you a full refund, then he will take the loss himself...in the event that he has to sell the bird at a lot less. I mean, there are good people in the world who breed birds, but it's a business...and that is what makes it upsetting in many cases- I am not sure that compassion and profit are very complimentary bed-mates when money is involved (at the same time, if he runs out of money, then the other birds suffer too, which is why I am not a fan of breeding in general because of all of the complicated decisions it would involve (even for the most ethical)..add to that the fact that many breeders DO NOT care, and you have a very complicated industry.

He may be super-sketchy or he may be legit and worried about a bigger picture, but in any breeding scenario, money is a huge factor, as it is what keeps the wheels turning. How long did you say you had the bird?
I guess you have to decide if you want to find a home for your bird or if you want him to do it (if that is the route you take).

Sadly, breeders have to be concerned with money--most don't get into it for free. It's understandable to an extent (if you look at it as a business), but, at the same time, some are ONLY concerned about the money. FAR too many (again, not all) will sell to anyone willing to buy (unless they are really upstanding and devoted to the bird's welfare)...Especially because they have limited space and an overhead cost to maintain..which is why there is a fine line between practical and sketchy (In my humble opinion). Even some really "good" breeders will sell cockatoos to first-time-owners without asking much, and that alone upsets me. It's complicated I guess...IDK, now I'm veering off topic...

Last edited by noodles123; 05-20-2020 at 11:30 AM.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 05-20-2020, 11:37 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

I was willing to not take the full refund, and help look for a new home. He is about to be 13 weeks old, and I’ve actually only had him around a week and a half, so he is still very young. I understand, I’m just frustrated with myself. I thought I was ready and prepared and I wasn’t. He may actually be regressing so much just because of feeding off my own stress without realizing it.

I’m just not sure I can meet his needs. And they have offered to help me look for any new homes. I have enough saved to pay bills and keep up his quality care for about a month or two, and that isn’t including an upcoming vet bill (because I typically go the whole 9 yards for an initial health exam).

This may sound even more terrible of me, but I think the two main problems are 1. I’m now stuck in a cycle of depression with not much action to take and 2. I realized I actually didn’t want another bird I wanted my old bird (who has passed) and it caused more trauma than I realized. I keep expecting him to act like Yoshi and I keep calling him Yoshi on accident. I thought I moved on but obviously I haven’t. This is also getting in the way of me bonding with him and treating him as his own individual. Which is completely unfair to Percy. I’m going to give Percy as much love, attention and care as he deserves—the problem is just wholly me. But I am realizing he needs a better home, because I can’t sustain the life I had planned for him.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 05-20-2020, 11:53 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
I was willing to not take the full refund, and help look for a new home. He is about to be 13 weeks old, and I’ve actually only had him around a week and a half, so he is still very young. I understand, I’m just frustrated with myself. I thought I was ready and prepared and I wasn’t. He may actually be regressing so much just because of feeding off my own stress without realizing it.

I’m just not sure I can meet his needs. And they have offered to help me look for any new homes. I have enough saved to pay bills and keep up his quality care for about a month or two, and that isn’t including an upcoming vet bill (because I typically go the whole 9 yards for an initial health exam).

This may sound even more terrible of me, but I think the two main problems are 1. I’m now stuck in a cycle of depression with not much action to take and 2. I realized I actually didn’t want another bird I wanted my old bird (who has passed) and it caused more trauma than I realized. I keep expecting him to act like Yoshi and I keep calling him Yoshi on accident. I thought I moved on but obviously I haven’t. This is also getting in the way of me bonding with him and treating him as his own individual. Which is completely unfair to Percy. I’m going to give Percy as much love, attention and care as he deserves–the problem is just wholly me. But I am realizing he needs a better home, because I can’t sustain the life I had planned for him.
If you've only had him a week...I think he is trying to milk it...maybe I am missing something, but that seems far from compassionate. Maybe I am missing something--but this is a living being...not a new car you just drove off the lot. Ugh..I would think he could re-sell him without issue....surely he has some of the same birds he had there one week ago when you picked yours up..

To be clear- I am not defending him in my post above. I think money and creatures rarely mix well, and when they do, it is often for the worse...

It seems that it would be difficult to make money on a large scale operation and never make compromises that would potentially harm a bird...I mean, unless someone is just independently wealthy.....I am not saying that there aren't good mom-and-pop breeders out there that sort of supplement their income with it as a hobby, but a lot of the bigger ones concern me because it's more of a business than a passion at that point (not trying to offend anyone---again...)..but when money is your goal, how is it possible to do the best for all of your birds? I just don't think it is likely on a large scale..because so much capital is wrapped up in it at that point.

Last edited by noodles123; 05-20-2020 at 12:01 PM.
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Old 05-20-2020, 11:58 AM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Quote: Originally Posted by noodles123 View Post
Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
I was willing to not take the full refund, and help look for a new home. He is about to be 13 weeks old, and Iíve actually only had him around a week and a half, so he is still very young. I understand, Iím just frustrated with myself. I thought I was ready and prepared and I wasnít. He may actually be regressing so much just because of feeding off my own stress without realizing it.

Iím just not sure I can meet his needs. And they have offered to help me look for any new homes. I have enough saved to pay bills and keep up his quality care for about a month or two, and that isnít including an upcoming vet bill (because I typically go the whole 9 yards for an initial health exam).

This may sound even more terrible of me, but I think the two main problems are 1. Iím now stuck in a cycle of depression with not much action to take and 2. I realized I actually didnít want another bird I wanted my old bird (who has passed) and it caused more trauma than I realized. I keep expecting him to act like Yoshi and I keep calling him Yoshi on accident. I thought I moved on but obviously I havenít. This is also getting in the way of me bonding with him and treating him as his own individual. Which is completely unfair to Percy. Iím going to give Percy as much love, attention and care as he deservesĖthe problem is just wholly me. But I am realizing he needs a better home, because I canít sustain the life I had planned for him.
If you've only had him a week...I think he is trying to milk it...maybe I am missing something, but that seems far from compassionate. Maybe I am missing something--but this is a living being...not a new car you just drove off the lot. Ugh..I would think he could re-sell him without issue....surely he has some of the same birds he had there one week ago when you picked yours up..

To be clear- I am not defending him in my post above. I think money and creatures rarely mix well, and when they do, it is often for the worse...

It seems that it would be difficult to make money and never make compromises that would potentially harm a bird...I mean, unless someone is just independently wealthy...but that alone gives me pause.

That is what I was thinking. They said to check back again in two weeks, but Iím going to continue to consult with my avian vet and just see what she thinks is best.
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Old 05-20-2020, 12:02 PM
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Re: I think I regret my bird and idk what to do

Quote: Originally Posted by Caitcultclassic View Post
I was willing to not take the full refund, and help look for a new home. He is about to be 13 weeks old, and I’ve actually only had him around a week and a half, so he is still very young. I understand, I’m just frustrated with myself. I thought I was ready and prepared and I wasn’t. He may actually be regressing so much just because of feeding off my own stress without realizing it.

I’m just not sure I can meet his needs. And they have offered to help me look for any new homes. I have enough saved to pay bills and keep up his quality care for about a month or two, and that isn’t including an upcoming vet bill (because I typically go the whole 9 yards for an initial health exam).

This may sound even more terrible of me, but I think the two main problems are 1. I’m now stuck in a cycle of depression with not much action to take and 2. I realized I actually didn’t want another bird I wanted my old bird (who has passed) and it caused more trauma than I realized. I keep expecting him to act like Yoshi and I keep calling him Yoshi on accident. I thought I moved on but obviously I haven’t. This is also getting in the way of me bonding with him and treating him as his own individual. Which is completely unfair to Percy. I’m going to give Percy as much love, attention and care as he deserves–the problem is just wholly me. But I am realizing he needs a better home, because I can’t sustain the life I had planned for him.
Superb insight and ethics, I deeply empathize with you in a confluence of unfortunate circumstance. Perhaps a most beneficial and therapeutic outlook is to focus on finding Percy a superb new home. With a window of a few months you may be able secure a loving and secure situation.
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