Trying to find my Best Bird..

Elysianblight

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Mar 8, 2020
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Cypress (teal) and Citrine (green) - male american budgies, 7 months.
I know there are a million threads about this kind of thing. I have read most of them :) But it's still so hard to try to narrow down in your own head.
I would reaaally love some guidance/suggestions.

After wanting a parrot forever, I finally got two little budgies from a breeder this April. They are adorable but have really pushed me MORE into wanting a bigger bird.
First - I do not intend to get another bird until the budgies are a year old, because I don't want to take any attention away from them while they are still maturing and I am still learning how to "bird mom".
But, I am the kind of person who does ALL the research - so I am trying to pin down what kind of bird I intend to get so I can focus my knowledge gathering efforts for the next 9 or so months.

Here is what I am pretty sure I want.. somewhat ranked in importance.

1) Not likely to be mean to the little budgies. This bird will be my baby, but they were here first so they have to come first.

2) Will do well as a "single" bird. They will have the budgies of course, but I'd like this bird to bond with us humans more. I also don't want to end up with a whole aviary right now :)

3) Able to be a "family" bird with the right socializing. I know that most parrots are going to be one-person birds, but I would like them to enjoy interacting with my bf as well - and not be attacking him. We also have a little nephew that comes to stay for a couple of days once a year or so, and I'd love for him to be able to interact with my bird (under supervision). I know certain breeds are more prone to biting without warning - so, I want to avoid that.
3a) In that same vein.. I should probably avoid breeds that are known to be on the more skittish side. This one is going to be part of the family, 100% in the midst of it. The budgies are out flying around my living room frequently, and they sit with us to watch tv in the evening. We haven't held back from noise around them and they have been awesome with it.

4) A likely talker would be AWESOME. I know that cannot be guaranteed.. still, one of the things I love most about interacting with animals is training. I love psychology and there is something deeply satisfying/thrilling to me about working with dogs/kids/birds in that teacher role. Earning their respect and watching them learn amazing things. I want to do tricks, obedience, any of it and all of it. Sadly my budgies are not that into it :)

5) Oil based feathers preferable, not dust. Not just for cleanliness and possible human allergies, but to protect the budgies too.

6) A bird that is more likely to be okay with touch. Just some head kisses, neck scritches, chilling on my shoulder .. I know full on cuddling is a no go.

Basically I LOVE my budgies but there are a few things that I wish we could add to our relationship. They do not like to be touched at all, they come to me for treats and such but nothing else. They will sit on a perch near me, but never on my shoulder. They will sit in my hand to eat but once they are done they fly away. They have fun with clicker training in very short bursts but not to the extent that we can do much.

Some breeds I have looked at/considered:

Cockatoos. I love how cuddly they are, but I worry that as much attention as I want to give them - it still might not be enough. These birds be crazy. Also, the dust. Mostly ruled them out.

Quakers. Their little faces are so CUTE. Their personalities seem good. But I worry about the cage aggression?

Eclectus. Gorgeous, friendly .. these guys seem awesome. Only two reservations with them so far. Keeping up with the non-pelleted diet.. I've started making and freezing chop for my budgies to get myself in that habit, but their mainstay is still pellets. And the hormones.. I've read they are particularly bad with these guys.

So. Opionions? Suggestions?
Am I letting potential horror stories scare me away from my best breed?
No bird is going to be flawless but is there a breed I might be missing that has more of the qualities I am into?

Sorry for the length but THANK YOU if you read and responded :)
 

noodles123

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You are right to rule out what you have ruled out based on your concerns...especially with regard to the larger birds...Definitely not the household for a cockatoo....DO NOT take that road..Literally, the most re-homed species of all parrots. I cannot emphasize how serious I am when I say that a cockatoo is not right for this situation and they are very very dusty and very hormonal...could also kill a budgie with one snap (although that is also true of other large birds). They also have a tri-point bite which is extremely painful and dangerous. I don't hate them at all, but they are not the right bird for you.

I am not sure I would advise more parrots of any kind at this point, as you haven't had your budgies very long at all..Plus, 2 birds together= way different than a single (or 2) large parrots...Just seriously big differences - despite the fact that a budgie is very very smart, they aren't as loud and they can't tear you up the way a larger bird can.

It's really hard to predict what kind of bird will be a good family bird with the right socializing..It's not definite for most..sometimes one person will be their obsession, sometimes they will have 2...sometimes they will tolerate others but still prefer the 1-2 and often they do get jealous of other family members when you are looking at a family of more than 2 people...Especially if they think kids are getting more attention than they are.

Do you want to shop or adopt? A bird that hasn't reached puberty is going to seem way more chill than their adult self, so that is something to definitely consider... They can change a lot at puberty.

A cockatiel (which can cause allergies) CAN sometimes live up to those expectations, but they are dusty and again, it is not definite...and they still could fight with your other birds and therefore require their own 3 hours of out-of-cage/interaction time separate from the budgies.

Eckies are by far the most hypoallergenic, but you are right about their diet being tricky...Plus, they are significantly larger than your budgies, so another thing to consider is your time--- if you have any other bird, you are going to have to be very vigilant because little things can cause them to change their opinions and become aggressive with other birds (not just eckies, but all birds)-- a larger bird can do more harm in an instant than a smaller one...even if it is just having a "moody" moment. They also can mate year-round, and while other birds can be triggered into a chronic state of hormones over time, these guys are programmed to be ready whenever (technically)-- that having been said, in general, they are definitely not as bad as some in terms of behavior (but they are bigger by far, and they can definitely get hormonal...and big beaks are nothing to scoff about).
If they do not get along, do you have the time to provide at least 3 hours separate out-of-cage time to that new bird, plus time for your budgies?

Furthermore, if you are housing budgies together, are they mixed gender? because you could end up with more budgies unless you are careful about boiling any eggs that are produced...and breeding is complicated, so I wouldn't suggest it.

Also- you will need to quarantine a new bird with extreme caution in a separate air-space for 45 days which, ideally, would mean changing clothes between handling and extreme hygiene (due to the nature of certain diseases spreading through dander and microscopic particles in human hair, clothing, hands etc).

Additionally, absolutely all birds can be skittish and bite if you haven't built proper trust-- and that takes a lot of time.. Again, babies are easy but puberty changes a lot of things.

Your budgies haven't been with you long enough to establish whether or not they are "into" tricks or not-- you can't rush a bird like that. Plus, when you house 2 together, they are less likely to bond with you, BUT they still can...It just is harder. Be honest with yourself-- how often do you work with them on a daily basis? How hard have you tried to build trust with them?

A bite from a large bird is really hard to ignore, and I am worried that you are going to get impatient and end up in over your head..Having 2 budgies plus a large parrot is going to be much more complicated and much more demanding in terms of time-- it also poses greater risk in terms of injury, noise etc...

I think it is great that you are asking before just running out and getting one, but if you struggle with the budgies....I wouldn't take on a larger bird....especially because they will be 10x more demanding of you than your current pair...and budgies are not cheap when you do things properly (not even remotely) but with a larger bird, you housing and toy cost will go through the roof in comparison.
 
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chris-md

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Hello and welcome!

Oh dear, red flags abound:

You've barely begun your first budgies, and you're trying to zoom right up to "bigger birds" before you've actually learned about parrot care.

Slow down!

You're citing training issues. You're not describing anything we haven't all experienced before. Birds generally have the attention span of a gnat, with little more than a few minute sessions at a time. Thats not unusual. You have to learn to work with the bird on their own time.

If you are frustrated now with simple clicker training your budgies, how are you going to handle a raging, hormonally aggressive cockatoo?

With regards to petting or lack thereof,. Thats not just a budgie thing. Under most circumstances, try petting an eclectus and see what happens. Some birds just don't like to be pet. It varies from one individual to the next, across species.

Heres what this is coming down to in my mind: you're giving off very clear signals that you aren't ready. Not the least of which you've barely had time with your budgies and are now looking on to the next bird.

You're asking about some very high maintenance birds. And cockatoos are dusty, not oily. And you've clearly got a LOT more research to do. Give it a few years. Learn to work better with your budgies. They're going to prepare you for whats to come.

You're just not ready, in my mind, for a bigger bird yet. You're moving too quickly.
 

SailBoat

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It appears that your list has not really been narrowed down as your list really bangs the far ends of the scale.

Once you get down a bunch closer it becomes much easier as you just simply let the Parrot choose you. They see it from whether they emotional connect with you. If yes, its a match, if not, well its not!

FYI: Avians are Species, not Breeds. Just an insider point.

IMHO, You're defining the perfect Fur Home.
 
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noodles123

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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
Also---in many cases, a large bird on your shoulder is extremely dangerous...Many birds only like to come around for treats as well..

I am not saying that you can never let a large bird on your shoulder, but it must be earned and maintained, and anyone who has ever been bitten on the face by a large bird will attest to what a vulnerable and dangerous position it can be if you do not know exactly what you are doing.
 
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Elysianblight

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Cypress (teal) and Citrine (green) - male american budgies, 7 months.
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Thank you for your responses! They are fair

Just to clarify/reiterate a couple of things if it helps - I know my post was long, sorry.

1) I have no intention of bringing home another bird right NOW. I want the budgies to be fully grown and with me for at least a year before I bring another bird in. I just want to narrow what I'm focusing on so I CAN do the in depth extensive research.
I looked into the budgies pretty extensively before I ever contacted a breeder, and then did more research the next 4 months while I waited for them. I would do a lot more than that before bringing home a bigger bird, but I need to narrow down what I'm looking into.

2) I shouldn't have mentioned cockatoos I guess. Already ruled them out because of the dust, I just listed them because there are a lot of tempting things about their personalities/their affection. Also because there are a TON of them in the rescues and I feel horrid for them. I would like to help one of them if it was the right fit.
2a) I would love to adopt. As soon as this covid stuff is over I'm going to be volunteering at our bird rescue to get more knowledge/experience with the bigger birds. But I don't know if they "right" bird will ever be there.. they mostly have cockatoos and some macaws.

3) I'm not frustrated by the budgies at all. Clicker training is going exactly how I expected it to go for budgies. They are actually doing really well -- they aren't reliable on coming to me from across the room, but they do it sometimes. They touch a target stick on command, they give nose kisses on command, they pick up a ring on command .. What they can do, they have a lot of fun with. They get excited when they see my clicker. I've just noticed they get bored with "tricks" alot easier than they get bored with their recall exercises, etc.

I also feel like we are limited on what they can learn because there *are* two of them and they don't care so much about impressing me or being around me. Which is fine. I love what they have learned. I'm not frustrated by them, but I am excited about what a bigger bird could do since they've already done so much.

I do honestly spend a significant amount of time with them. I handle and work with them as much as they are tolerant of (meaning in short spurts) for 2-3 hours in the morning before I need to work, during my entire lunch break, and then at least an hour in the evening before they get sleepy. Also if it's a quiet work day I have them come hang out on their perch by my computer so I can talk to them/play clicker games periodically. If I'm not actively handling them, they can still see and hear me from their cage or various perches/play stands all day long. The only time they can't is if I leave the house and when I put them to bed at night.
Thats during the week - they are also out with me ALL day Saturday and Sunday unless there is cooking or something going on.

They are very tame, but I would never *force* them to be with me.. since they have each other they are perfectly content without me, and that's fine. I wouldn't have gotten two if I didn't want them to have each other. I would just ideally someday want a bird that does "care" a little bit.

Oh, and they are two males. No breeding here.

4) About being a fur home and using the term breeds.. sorry. I was careful not use breeds in my first half, but then I got on a typing binge. I have always had dogs, which is why I never had a bird before (except some quail we raised and a sparrow we rescued). Dogs are awesome.. and I can't help thats where I started out with training. But the difference between a dog and a bird is incredible, even just with these budgies.. its a whole different psychology and I am loving working with them and learning how to approach those differences.
 
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Talven

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You have budgies now so the best thing to have with budgies are budgies. They are not a great species of parrot to mix with other birds. Budgies bicker over everything like little kids over the last sweet in the dish. For a lot of birds this is annoying and can lead to injured or dead budgies. If you are set on getting a large parrot wait until your budgies have moved on. Mixing small parrots with larger parrots is not a great idea. It's like forcing preschoolers to live with the high school bully.
 
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Elysianblight

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Cypress (teal) and Citrine (green) - male american budgies, 7 months.
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You have budgies now so the best thing to have with budgies are budgies. They are not a great species of parrot to mix with other birds. Budgies bicker over everything like little kids over the last sweet in the dish. For a lot of birds this is annoying and can lead to injured or dead budgies. If you are set on getting a large parrot wait until your budgies have moved on. Mixing small parrots with larger parrots is not a great idea. It's like forcing preschoolers to live with the high school bully.

Thank you for that insight. Do you only mean the "full size" parrots like Cockatoos/Amazons/Etc, or even something the size of a Quaker or Ringneck?

I thought they could get along with those more "midsize" birds pretty safely, kept in a separate cage just let out together with supervision.
 

noodles123

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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
With smaller birds, the damage potential is technically less in terms of a single bite, but there is still risk. People have had birds lose toes because a bird landed on a caged bird's cage. I am not saying people can never have mixed species---but there is no way of knowing...certainly, a smaller bird can inflict less damage, but a budgie can kill another budgie, so a mid-sized parrot can definitely kill a budgie. If a budgie makes a larger bird mad (which can happen, as budgies can be cheeky) then that larger bird can react. Not definite, but possible.
 
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Talven

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I even mean the size of a quaker or a ringneck. I have heard of quakers deliberately breaking into cages with a cockatiel and a budgie and leaving behind a dead budgie and critically injured cockatiel. Ringnecks can be sweet birds but I don't think they would tolerate budgies. The ones that I have had barely tolerated my conures.
Small parrots with larger birds can work but I would certainly look at the smaller end of medium parrots and certainly not large parrots like a cockatoo. Maybe look at one of the smaller conures like a green cheek? They come in some lovely mutations, aren't hugely noisy and will probably not be interested in your budgies all that much. They may not be very large but they have big personalities and aren't as needy as some other species.
 

SailBoat

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The fast lane to researching mid to large Parrots is to start at the bottom working (for free) at one of the Rescues cleaning cages, with time working up to changing out the food bowls. After a few months, you will begin to understand just how different Parrots are to fur bundles. Learning the difference between what you want and what the Parrots will allow and just how large that gap really is.

Parrots have NO natural reason to trust Humans! In fact, they have excellent reasons to not trust Humans. When a Parrot 'allows' a Human to be close it is a moment in passage. As is each step beyond that point.
 

fiddlejen

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I have two budgies. Mid-January 2019 I went to a local petstore to buy one budgie, they recommended getting two. (I said no, then was back at the store a short while later to get the second one.) I found out there was more to them than I had expected, and started looking at larger birds. Decided not to get another bird, and Mid-March 2019 fell in love with a beautiful little Sun Conure at a different local petstore, and brought her home.

Sun Conure wanted ALL my attention. My non-tame petstore budgies were Happy to Not have me trying to tame them. So they were all happy with the situation. (Well, I think Jefferson-budgie missed being my Number One only because he could no longer boss me around as easily. But otherwise, they were all happy with the situation.)

Fast forward to now and things are pretty much the same. Non-tame budgies fly around the house. Budgies & Conure like to occasionally hang out in each others' cages. Sunny acts like the budgies don't exist. Calliope (Female budgie) likewise acts like Sunny doesn't exist. Jefferson (male Budgie) has given up courting Calliope-budgie and instead courts Sunny the Conure, who continues to tolerate him. They all still seem basically happy with their situation.

I am telling you my story because of all the negative responses. You are doing your homework and that is good. I did not do my homework, and with regard to my birdies I am an idiot whom God protected and guided. (I certainly DID pray before making these choices!) I do Not believe that having budgies should preclude you from getting a larger bird IF you want a larger bird also.

So. My experience. You have budgies and you realize you also want another larger bird. I believe that, Yes, this means that, mostly likely, you probably DO want another, larger bird. You are allowing yourself plenty of time to prepare and think about your choices. You love and are committed to your current birds and seem like you will feel the same for your future bird also. So I believe you are gonna do quite well.


Is a Conure the size you want? You mentioned other species maybe Slightly larger or around that size. (Sun's & Nandays are somewhat larger than GCC's and their relatives.)

My Sun Conure, SO FAR, has been a loving happy bird. I think this is common for her species, so I would recommend you one -- but as you are already warned, Every Bird Is An Individual. Sun Conures can be happy and loving, but are less likely to talk. Also they are more likely to be loud. LOUD. Bite pressure training will be important from the very beginning for any bird. Also training for quietness while NOT attempting to enforce it too much. GCC's I believe have a tendency to be a bit nippy, which could be problematic with budgies. I myself never considered a Cockatiel due to the powder, as I have asthma & also I don't want to risk becoming allergic to birds. (As I am to most everything else!) You are already aware that Cockatoo's check every one of your "NOPE's," and so you quite wisely will Not be getting one of that species no matter how attractive.

As I read your first post, I thought a couple times that you probably want a Macaw. I don't know why Im having that thought. I don't know a lot about them, although at a petstore that sells some of the larger birds I watched a still-handfeeding-baby practicing talking, so maybe that's why I think that. Obviously if there's a way to get lots of experience around various birds Before getting one, that would be best.

You can find posts from those who have Quakers and IRN's - I don't have much experience of these birds to speak to what you might want. But you are going about this in a good way. Once you have a general idea of the kind of bird you want, then look for chances to meet them and get a sense of its personality etc. It sounds like you have done well in choosing your budgies so I wish you the same with your next bird too.

:)
 
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wrench13

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Hi there. Training, especially if you already established a bit of training regemin already, is a great way to build the trust and bond with your budgies. Believe me they are capabl of very advanced tricks and commands. A few suggestions - train one at a time. when both are out, they will be distracted by each other. Train at a specific time each day, every day. Always be consistent in how you request a given trick - very important. Reward immediately when even a part of the trick is done correctly. Break a trick down to steps and reward when there is even a little bit of a step done correctly. Use both food reward and verbal praise. A clicker is also good ( i dont use them but they have ther place for sure). Make training session no more than 10 tops 15 minutes. Theres a video on youtube of a guy who does a whole circus act with budgies and they are amazing. Also, a budgie, not a grey, holds the Guiness record for the number of words known. So yeah, you haven't tapped into the potential of your budgies much at all.

Here is what every night training sessions can do with any parrot

[ame="https://youtu.be/9RpQXeJa4Ig"]https://youtu.be/9RpQXeJa4Ig[/ame]
9RpQXeJa4Ig
 
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Elysianblight

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Mar 8, 2020
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Cypress (teal) and Citrine (green) - male american budgies, 7 months.
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fiddlejen -

I REALLY appreciate you. I honestly logged on this morning to see if I could delete my forum account because I was a bit perturbed at how negative and frankly rude everything seemed to be.

Thank you for actually reading my words.

I did say from the beginning that I'm looking for guidance to start a years worth of specific research and planning, but I felt attacked like I'm an idiot who should never be near any kind of bird.
And I got no actual guidance, just shame.

Anyone who WAS looking to go out and buy a bird right now would not be swayed away by this, they would just never come here for help again. That's sad, because that's exactly why there are so many birds at my local rescue.

I'm not looking for a new dog, I'm looking for an intellectually engaging and challenging companion - I have a degree in psychology and work with traumatized and behaviorally challenged children, know what behaviors I can handle and that intelligent creatures don't just bend to your expectations. Didn't think I needed to put out a full resume though!
I just want to make sure I don't put the BIRD it a situation that's bad for it, so ruling out species that would definitely hate my household is step one.


Thank you for actually suggesting a species to look into further. I don't care what size the bird is if it has tendencies that typically lend it toward being compatible with my family.


Thank you.
 
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saxguy64

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Elysianblight, thank you for sticking with us! I truly appreciate that you're doing your research. It's never the intention here to attack or shame anyone trying to find information, and doing it the right way. Sadly, it comes off that way sometimes. We're passionate about our birds, and their well being is always first and foremost.

First, let me say, you've made some amazing progress with your budgies in such a short time. Fantastic job! My only thought there is the duration of their training sessions. More frequent, short sessions tend to be more effective. Sounds like you're on to that, so keep it up :) Of course the hope for everyone here is that they don't get cast aside as so many "starter birds" do if and when you find your larger bird. Budgies are incredibly smart, wonderful little guys, and often not afforded that respect because they're small and inexpensive.

You mentioned you'll be volunteering at a rescue. AWESOME! That's a wonderful way to gain experience and insight into the world of larger birds, different species, and interactions between them. Even though it might not be a species you're thinking of, the perfect one may find you! Although I had no intentions of a second bird, I was lucky enough to be chosen by my amazing Baxter, a now 18 year old YNA. She left me no choice LOL. Personally, I much prefer rescues, and all of mine have been. Kind of a "what you see is what you get" thing. I can work with known behaviors from an adult with an established personality, where adorable sweet baby birds have so much unknown as they mature. It's not like I'm going to outlive a 10+ year old amazon, grey, mac, or whatever species.

Experience at your rescue will definitely give you ideas about what would work best in your family. Careful, you might fall in love, hehehe. Just talking with staff/owners and other volunteers will offer a wealth of knowledge.

As mentioned in a previous post, many of the birds on your contemplation list are pretty high maintenance. Again, research and experience will guide you. Like you, I did tons of research before my first Eclectus came home with me. I had never even heard of one, and he was a plucker on top of that. WAAAAAAAY above my pay grade, you know? I researched. And learned. A LOT. That dietary challenging, half bald little green chicken was so worth the effort! He's since passed, and I miss him every day. My current Ekkie boy is every bit as perfect for me, but still very different. Ekkies aren't for everyone. Different ways of approaching things, and the diet can be a little daunting for some folks, but I truly adore mine. And my Amazon? She's a whole other universe. I love her to pieces, but she's very much a daddy's girl, and nobody else right now. Hopefully that will change in time. Biggest challenge there is that she can't stand my Ekkie, who wants nothing more than to earn her affection. It's complicated, but I manage it.

I guess the take away here is this... Enjoy doing your research, and never stop learning. With time, knowledge, and experience, your choices will become clearer.

Looking forward to your journey, and hearing more about those smart little budgies!

Hope this is of some help!
 

chris-md

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fiddlejen -

I REALLY appreciate you. I honestly logged on this morning to see if I could delete my forum account because I was a bit perturbed at how negative and frankly rude everything seemed to be.

Thank you for actually reading my words.

Elysianblight - as saxguy said, nobody is here to be negative or rude. We are actually a very kind, caring group of people. What you must remember is sometimes the answer isn’t what you want to hear, and sometimes that has to be ok. It’s one thing to be rude, it’s another thing to just be honest. We’re not a ride bunch around here, we’re just honest.

And we have to be, lives are at stake. We are a forum, and everyone is going to have their opinions on your situation, it’s why you came here: to get experienced advice from a spectrum of people.

We only know what you put forth, and leading with things like “I just got my 2 budgies, and now I want bigger”, and “I can’t really train my birds how I want, so I want another bird. Bigger, harder than my budgies”...

it’s stuff we see all the time here, Those are big red flags that you are being hasty, even if you have a year timeline. and it’s what makes parrots the number 1 most rehomed pet, and one of the most neglected. People jump the gun without knowing what they are getting into.

So please, stick around, we want to help. But when asking for advice, you have to be willing to accept that sometimes being told “bad idea, and here’s why...” is actually a good thing. I’m not invalidating how you perceived your treatment, and I apologize if you feel attacked. We care, deeply, and you’re going to get honest opinions and advice because of it. We must not conflate honest feedback with personal attacks.
 
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Ira7

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YNA
I’m not the one to discourage you from getting a larger bird, just because you have two new budgies.

You seem to be doing all the right research, asking the right questions, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your desire to add to your flock.

We tend to be a little too judgmental and self-righteous here at times.
 

chris-md

Well-known member
Feb 6, 2010
4,349
2,119
Maryland - USA
Parrots
Parker - male Eclectus

Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
We tend to be a little too judgmental and self-righteous here at times.

If you think this, I invite you to better get to know the long-time participants on this forum you only recently joined. Anyone who knows ANY of the forums participants wouldn't use these terms to describe a single soul here.
 

noodles123

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
8,145
472
Parrots
Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
fiddlejen -

I REALLY appreciate you. I honestly logged on this morning to see if I could delete my forum account because I was a bit perturbed at how negative and frankly rude everything seemed to be.

Thank you for actually reading my words.

I did say from the beginning that I'm looking for guidance to start a years worth of specific research and planning, but I felt attacked like I'm an idiot who should never be near any kind of bird.
And I got no actual guidance, just shame.

Anyone who WAS looking to go out and buy a bird right now would not be swayed away by this, they would just never come here for help again. That's sad, because that's exactly why there are so many birds at my local rescue.

I'm not looking for a new dog, I'm looking for an intellectually engaging and challenging companion - I have a degree in psychology and work with traumatized and behaviorally challenged children, know what behaviors I can handle and that intelligent creatures don't just bend to your expectations. Didn't think I needed to put out a full resume though!
I just want to make sure I don't put the BIRD it a situation that's bad for it, so ruling out species that would definitely hate my household is step one.


Thank you for actually suggesting a species to look into further. I don't care what size the bird is if it has tendencies that typically lend it toward being compatible with my family.


Thank you.

I just re-read the entire conversation and I cannot see any part of it that is rude..Obviously we want you to stay, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a bit under attack (based on your comments) as a result of not telling you want you wanted to hear....
People were cordial and while you may not have wanted to hear what was said, much of what seems to have upset you was based completely on facts.
You asked an opinion and you didn't like some of the ones you got. That doesn't make anyone rude for speaking their truth.
That doesn't mean that they are wrong or that you are wrong (but everyone who responded provided you with good information).

You have to understand that everyone here loves birds a lot and there are SO MANY who end up re-homed or neglected or harmed due to various situations (not saying that will happen w/ you, but people are cautious and with 500% good reason)---based on the facts you gave, people provided their answers. Everyone wants the best for birds and none of it is personal...

Being a good researcher means considering every angle without taking other people's experience and advice personally...

It's definitely worth sticking around, but you're going to have to prepare for the fact that people will often disagree (not just with you, but among themselves)...and that is OKAY! That's the whole point of a discussion...to learn from others (not just seek affirmation).

Please don't take it personally and don't think that I am rude for saying what I just said- I just feel like you have to understand that it wasn't "rudeness"...people care and want to help...There is a lot we can all learn from each other if we can accept that there will be differing opinions out there.
 
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