Some bird advice please

Reetno

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Though I kinda cringe at this...
It seems my dream of getting an umbrella cockatoo is dashed. Everyone I've been talking to have been basically telling me not to get one... and it's not like I could even a breeder of them anywhere I could get to anyways...
Also my mother didn't mind the idea of getting one, but she wasn't as enthusiastic as I was...

I have to admit I feel really heart broken about it all and have been in a bit of a depression because of it... (lol.. if I was a bird I'd be a cockatoo for sure~)

Anyways, I'm not going to let stop that me from trying to get that 'bird love' I crave and need...

My second choice for a parrot was the Yellow-Collared Macaw. From what I've read and saw it seems to be a good type of bird that could fit in here... I know all bird types come with their cons, but both me and my mom like the voice of the YCM and she seems to really like the idea of getting one and that is saying something since she really isn't much of a 'bird' person...

So is there anyone that could give me some advice on my little 'dilemma' here?
 

Von1983

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Hi again.....

Taking your reply from your last topic.....

I just don't know anymore... I have to admit I am very discouraged now since everyone that I've talking with other then my mother have been basically been telling me not to get one and I know that they are most likely right... I'll most likely screw it all up(like all things I do) and there would be yet another bird needing to find a home because of it...

I'm sorry to waste time... I kinda knew this was going to happen though... I get myself so hyped and excited and research like mad on something and then people tell me it's a bad idea then I get discouraged/depressed and quit...

You sound pretty depressed and I'm so sorry that you do.

In the gentlest way possible, perhaps you may benefit from getting yourself a bit happier before you take on any parrot?

You seem very unsure in confidence that you can actually give a bird the life it deserves. I understand TOTALLY how theraputic pets are, but their needs are greater. Simpler, but greater. If you have days for example that you just cannot face getting out of bed or just cannot face doing anything at all, a bird will suffer greatly. This does NOT make you a bad person, I am not looking down on you or trying to be nasty at all - I hope you realise this.

Cockatiels and budgies are wonderful, intelligent little birdies, I've had the joy of both in my life. Having now had an even more immediate relation to the parrot (for want of better words, I hope you understand?!) I can tell you, they are an entirely different kettle of fish. All birds need a lot of attention, obviously, but my experience is that the tiel and the budgie are a lot more self sufficient EMOTIONALLY as a general rule.

Larger birds are NEEDY. Cal is at the age where she is more independant but she is very definate in her wants and needs. I cannot NOT do the things she needs doing. I know you will say it would encourage and give you a reason to keep a parrot routine, but if you really are very depressed....is it as easy as that?

Larger birds than Cal who is obviously only small, are even more adament about what they want. All parrots have the potential to pluck, self mutilate or depressed if they are uncertain of their surroundings for an extended period of time. This could easily include your moods if you got a sensitive bird. They have the emotional needs of a human toddler, that's not a myth. Could you provide that stability just now?

It think you would make a WONDERFUL parront one day, you are obviously very caring. But I DO urge you to work on getting yourself a bit better first. Work on your self belief and moods. Look after yourself and then you will be able to look after a parrot brilliantly.

I hope that I have not offended you in any way and I am so so sorry if I have, it was not my intention. When it comes to our feathered friends I am very passionate and I must be truthful about it.

:)
 

mtdoramike

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Well, I know all to well the feeling of frustration over depression. My wife and I lost our beloved 14 year old black lab 2 days before Christmas. She suffered a severe stroke and had to be put to sleep. We were devistated. For the first time in my life, I fell into a deep depression and for about a month, I moped around, didn't want to get out of bed, food had no taste at all. My wife decided I needed a friend so she suggested a bird since I used to raise Cockatiels years ago and had a Mitred Conure years ago as well.

She checked out Craigslist and found a local lady who had a 11 month old Senegal that she needed to re-home. Lets just say, it was love at first sight for me anyway. Once we got our Senegal Tiki, I got better and ever since, every day has been a joy to wake up to. But I still miss my lab very much.

Good luck with which ever bird you choose. If I really wanted a Cockatoo, I wouldn't let what anyone else says or felt about it sway me from my decision. But you do have to realize if you are still living at home, which it sounds like you are, any bird that you get will be a trail and tribulation for you once you move out onto your own. Birds can be dirty & noisy. Most landlords & neighbors will not tollerate constant chirping, squawking or screaching for very long before you get booted out on your ear. Hence your mother will wind up inheriting a bird that she may not have been crazy about in the first place, which is usually the case when teenagers get new pets.

PARROTS CAN LIVE A LONG, LONG, LONG TIME. My suggestion to anyone wanting a parrot, would be to wait until you are settled, matured and own your own home or in a place where owning a parrot wouldn't bother other people.
 
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Reetno

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@Von: I see what you are saying, but ever since my budgie Meimo died there has been a hole in me and my emotional state tumbled into shatters and has not healed since. She was the best therapy I could ever have and now all I have is mood stabilizers to really keep me balanced...
I never needed meds when I had her(even though we didn't know at the time I was bipolar), I hate having to take them, I hate having to take any pills really...

The only reason I've become unsure about getting a cockatoo is because if they do start to pluck, mutilate, that might cause me to do that same quiet frankly (^^')...
That site that I read said it would sooner or later, and I have the feeling that is would happen with me because I might screw something up, and with a sensitive bird like them... well I know by my own experiences with my emotions and thoughts.

I know any bird is needy in its own way, but I can bond with them on a level I could never with a cat, rat, ferret or rabbit. Though I do love my cats and rabbit a lot~

I've always hoped for a larger bird, but if that can't happen then I guess I'll have no choice but to settle for a budgie again and hope it doesn't turn out like with the last I had, Raina, her rejecting me after just over a year of bird love... I was happy with her and my mood was balanced and I could be off my meds for longer periods of time and I was more open to new things, but after she rejected me I knew I had to find her someone that she would like... and I did just that~ and then I closed up again.
--

@mtdoramike: I know I'd still miss Meimo, I'll always miss her~ she was my light for the longest time, but being without her for so many years, then being diagnosed bipolar(and if she was still around I may have never been diagnosed at all, lol) it only made me more depressed because I now had to take something I hate... but I hate the sometimes near manic mood swings more... and so does everyone else. Which is why I'm kind of a recluse now... which only hurts more since I have no one really.

And well I'm 24(25 in March) and even as a teenager(when I had Meimo) my mother never had to take care of my pets. Never. I had six rabbits at one time and took care of them all on my own. I'm also the only one that cleans the catbox and I'm the one that tends to feed them as well. I still have a 7 year old rabbit, Dev, that I love to bits for those all seven years~ He is an awesome house rabbit. Plus I have two fish tanks(a 55gal and 5gal) that I'm the only one that cleans, feeds and such, I'm also the one that tends to cleans the house and washes the dishes~
One of the reasons I live at home is because my mother and I only have each other, so if I left we'd both be alone... another is I don't have a job of my own right now and finding a evening/night isn't easy to come by for some reason... So I'm kinda the in-home maid right now, lol... and I also suffer from social anxiety caused by me closing up for so long(I feel like I can't trust any human after being hurt so many times), so I find it very hard to interact with people without getting really stressed out so it really limits my job choices...

And our complex is bird friendly~ My one neighbor had an aviary of 'tiels and lovebirds as well as some other parrots. My other neibour has a Grey that can be rather noisy in the spring/summer, but it never bothered me, in fact I'd call back to them, mimicking their call. I'm a very good bird mimic, lol... And many of my other neighbors have budgies, 'tiels and lovebirds... and I find that lovebirds are the most annoying of all the birds that I've known... cute and cuddly, but their call is too high-pitched for my ears. That's why I've been watching videos of birds to hear what they sound like before making a decision.
--

In-short: I know having a bird again would greatly benefit me, but getting a bird like a cockatoo, no matter how strongly I feel about getting one, is no excuse to get one just because I've always wanted one...
I know if you put two, basically bipolar, people in the same house for a long time there would be problems sooner or later.
So I know I need to find a more balanced bird so as to help me become balanced as well.
 

suebee

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i think your question is so difficult to answer

i maybe wrong but you are saying you can't live without one?? but you can't live with one either??

so basically I AM saying, to stop asking for others to endorse weather you should get one or not?? just do as you please, as ultimately, i think you know yourself, if you will or won't

you say yourself you know the pit falls if certain problems SHOULD arise, and you have felt the rejection from another bird before

doctors have prescribed the meds for a reason, i am sorry but i do not think a bird can or should replace the meds for any period of time! continue taking the meds an get a bird

sorry if i am coming across as blunt as a sledge hammer, but i do work alongside ppl with mental health issues, and honesty is always best policy. you have already shown a good level of reasoning, the same type of reasoning that anyone with sense would put themselves through before making a commitment
 
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Reetno

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I can live with one if it can be the 'right' one... and even though I love the thought of having a cockatoo I feel that even though I'd have the time and dedication to give to it that everyone that I have talked to may be very right in that it could be a very bad idea of getting one because of their more emotionally demanding nature...
So it was a good idea to ask about it all because now I'm certain that getting a cockatoo could be a very bad idea before I got one only to find that out myself...

But what I'm really looking for is answers on what types should I be looking at, not IF I should get one.
I do like the Yellow-Collared Mini-Macaw; it seems big enough for me without being too big handle and its call is kinda pleasing to my ears and my mom likes of that bird as well and from videos we saw they seem to have a really fun-loving nature(though I know most parrots do) and it said on some sites that I read up on them that they can self entertain...

I know there are pit falls to any animal and if everything gets too stressful for the bird they could begin to self destruct, but finding a bird with a less likelihood of that happening would be best for my own emotional state.

(Edit) I'm also not asking people what 'they' think I should get but species they think I should take a look at(maybe even some info on them as well) so I can research some more and through a wide variety of information make a decision that I can be certain of.
 
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SharonC

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Have a look at the Green Cheek Conure, or maybe a Pionus. Less demanding but still can be great companions!
 

Ratzy

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Your question is difficult....
But I would say that a large cockatoo or macaw is not really an option. Maybe you could do some voluteer work at a parrot shelter to help you decide? You'd get to handle different birds and see which one fits, chat to some of the workers about which bird is best for you.
Maybe look at a cockatiel, senegal, caique or small conure?
I always wanted a macaw or cockatoo, until I realised that size doesn't matter. Now I'm happy with budgies :) .
My next suggestion may seem a little strange, but maybe raise a few chickens from day one? I know mine always keep me calm and such. Mine follow me, sit on my lap and fall alseep there, and they're quite big now. They think I'm mommy bird. When I'm feeling down, I just go up to the chook pen and sit down. They come over and make me feel better.
I wouldn't cross out a large parrot completely, but definitely have lots of other options.
PS: I read about your budgie turning on you.....
That's female budgies for ya. They get hormonal phases, just like female humans :)
 
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mtdoramike

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I'm sorry to hear of your medical issues. To me, my 14 year old used to calm me down quite a bit when I was having a bad day and there was nothing like unconditional love either. Most pets can be calming unless lie with parrots, you get a screamer or very vocal parrot or bird.

I have had Parakeets, Cockatiels, a Mitred Conure and now a Senegal. Out of all of them the most quiet was the Mitred Conure. But that was mainly because he wasn't a tame bird and had been wild caught back in the late 1970's and imported in. I researched what I could before settling on a Senegal. My main issue was I wanted a bird that wasn't very vocal unlike Cockatoo's, Macaws. I also wanted more of a lap bird that was small enough that I could walk with it on my shoulder or set him on my lap. Well, I will be the first to tell you, no matter the species, birds will be birds and vocalizing is what they do. You have to accept it. I say this because although Senegals are touted to be apartment birds because of their more quite nature isn't true for all Senegals. Mine would have already gotten me thrown out of an apartment weeks ago. But fortunately I own my home. So there are exceptions to every rule.

Look at a Hahns Macaw, they are a bit smaller and may be a tad less vocal or loud. But if your looking for a calming effect, birds won't do it except maybe Finches.
 
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Reetno

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@Shanon: The GCCs look like very good birds~ From what I read and say in videos they seem like a bird I could see myself having... their voice doesn't seem harsh and from some of the vids I saw they kinda sounded like budgies squawking, lol...
The Pionus are very beautiful birds, but they don't seem to peek my interest much however...

@Ratzy: That chicken idea sounds all and good(and I've actually wanted a pet chicken at one time) but we have a bi-law that doesn't allow 'farm animals' like chickens to be kept as pets in our area sadly... and even if I did go through with it, if the chick turned out to be a rooster then I'd have to get rid of him asap...

I tried for a bit to get her to 'like' me again, but she was having none f it... she was all like 'Screw you!' -sighs-

@mtdoramike: I don't care about the sounds they make as long as it isn't too high-pitched or far too loud(so I guess I was kinda blind about the 'toos). In fact I really enjoy the sounds birds make and I like talking to them like a bird as well. I'm very good at bird calls~ and that's one of the things that helps me stay calm.

Also I'm looking for a bird I can interact with physically. If I wanted something there as just a calming effect but no real interaction then I'd get either one of those noise/motion activated fake birds or just sit in front of my snail tank all day... My snails are fun to watch and I love them, but they can't really give me anything...

My birds Meimo and Raina lifted my spirit with their antics and calmed me with their gentile cuddles. I've had finches before and though I like the sounds they made they couldn't be anymore then mere singing buddies...
 

JawzX

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that's too bad about your local by-laws against farm animals. Friendly, well-socialized chickens and turkeys are some of the cuddliest birds you will ever encounter, right up there with 'Toos. I had a white domestic turkey hen when I was a child that would follow you like a dog, and sit in your lap to get head and under-wing scratches for hours on end... Turkey-lurkey was a terriic bird, and at nearly 27 pounds there was a lot of her to love. She also laid eggs that were a solid omlette's worth each :) The Rhode Island Red hens were also great, and my brother's ex-wife's sister keeps bantam Silkies in her apartment that are like little fluff-balls of snuggle, but I always have a secial place in my heart for Turkey-lurkey.

On the Parrot front: have you looked at Alexandrines at all?
 
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Reetno

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I've always liked turkeys myself, lol.. I think they are just adorable~
My dad and sisters are scared of them though because a bunch of turkeys went after them when they visited a farm, lol...

Those are very pretty birds indeed~ not sure if I'm very fond of their natural call though... but with any bird you can teach them other calls like what happened with my budgies, lol... I can only imitate the natural budgie call so well, but not well enough, so over time they stopped calling with their natural call and used my version of it instead (^^') which was a shame because I like the call of the budgie...
 

HRH Di

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There are so many options out there and since parrots have such individual personalities, it can make the decision difficult. Here's my experience with our 3 birdies:

Max: Max is our Alexandrine. He's the smallest of our 3 and oddly, the loudest, although not really loud. Max has always been kind of stand-offish and never wanted to be touched or cuddled. He was clipped when we got him, but after he molted we left him fully flighted. This had a drastic change on his personality - for the better. He lets everyone in the family (except me) pet him how, but he still doesn't like to be cuddled. He's become very close to my husband. We've heard from people that Max is typical for Alexandrines and also that he's more aloof than most Alex's.

Jade: Jade is a red-front macaw. She's about 600 grams of pure personality. RFMs are smaller macaws so she's very house-friendly. She's a diva and a clown. She cuddles up, rolls on her back, and does the classic RFM meltdown - where the bird is on a shoulder and just kind of weakly drops or rolls down the front of their person into a sweet mushy pile. She is quiet, and very seldom screeches. She's very social and will go to anyone. My only complaint about Jade, is that RFMs believe in paybacks. Meaning if she's irritated with you, she'll nip you. Then all is forgiven and the party's on again. These nips aren't hard but they're annoying. She tells me that if I just do what she wants whenever she wants it, she won't do it any more. RFMs are also very acrobatic flyers.

Ruby: Ruby is my CAG. I always wanted a Grey and we were lucky to find Ruby at the same breeder we got Jade from. She is most definitely my girl. We're working on getting her more friendly with the rest of the family. She is very smart and very quiet. I've never heard her screech. She won't be a year old until March 11th, but is already talking. She isn't as cuddly as Jade, but she does cuddle with me. My only complaint about Ruby is that she isn't as friendly with the rest of the family, but we're working on that.

I would highly recommend RFMs and CAGs if you want a bird that's cuddly and interactive. From our experience with Alexandrines, they're great little birds, but more standoff-ish than our others.
 
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Reetno

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The RFMs sound like something I wouldn't mind, however I can't seem to find a lot of sites with much information on them... or at least not the information I'm looking for anyways...

I'm not sure though, but out of the birds I've been looking at so far I think I'm still leaning more toward the YCM, but the RFM seems to intrigue me as well now...
 

Parrot Parent

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In my opinion (I have no previous knowledge of ur bird history except this post), I think you should start with a smaller more managable bird. What would happen if your macaw bit you? Are you really sure you could handle such a bite? I started off with a cockatiel when i was small and even to this day i regret not knowing the proper information back then on caring for it. Now I have a sun conure and he can too be a hand full at times. He's considerably smaller than a macaw but he still bites super hard!(only when I fail to see what I'm doing that he does not like) I cant even imagine a macaw bite!not only that but he's very messy and requires much cleaning, out of cage time, fresh food, new toys, and much more. Now take this and fit it in for a macaw. The caring would at least be two or three times harder and more demanding. In my opinion you should start off with a small young bird. They tend to be more manageable, they havent fully developed their bite, and taming them is much easier since they cant fly yet. some good, forgiving birds will be quakers, love birds, parakeets, cockatiels, and green cheeked conures. I hoped this helped you a bit more.
 
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Reetno

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I understand your concern, but it's not like I haven't lost chunks of flesh to an animal bite before, lol... One of my rabbits decided she wanted to take a chunk out of one of my cats, but I grabbed her from behind to stop her and instead she bit me... next thing I knew I heard a loud POP sound only to find a large chunk of skin missing from my arm...
Bad bites and scratches, or physical pain are not new to me... I'm covered in scars even from bird bites... I admit I've never been bitten by a macaw and I know it would hurt a lot if they decided to chomp down hard, but I'm not looking at the BIG birds now anyways~ now I'm looking at the mini-macaws at the very most.

I'm also not new to the world of cage cleaning... I used to work at a petshop so that was part of the job, and I've also had to clean six of my own rabbit cages at once and a bird cage as well as the cat's litterbox.

Biting and cleaning issues aside, what would be the point of getting a smaller bird to work up to a bigger one when they can easily live to be 20 years? By the time they die I might be in my 50s and since bigger birds live longer then wouldn't that be unfair to them that they'd have a more likelihood of out living me?
And it also seems a little unfair to choose a bird just to use them for a step-stool pet...
Plus I'd be looking at young birds anyways, though comes the issue of finding a breeder around my area... I've never looked at breeders before, only even gotten birds from petstores that in turn got them from aviaries that never hand raised the chicks... so I had to work hard and go through much biting before they would trust me.


Not that I'm really trying to argue with you, but just getting a pet to use as a 'step-stool' at my age and with how many animals I have cared for over my life bothers me... since it really wouldn't be a breed I'd rather have so I'm just settling for something I have no real interest in...
I've had budgies(and loved them to bits), taken care of a friend's loverbird before as well as been around a really mean cockatiel(that was alright once he was out of the cage), but I've always wanted something bigger then that... something I can really preen and cuddle(if they feel like it, lol). That's why my interested is kinda on the mini-macaws, or something more to that size...

But personally I think both my mom and I am looking more at the YCM now... she really seems to like the idea of having one of those guys in the house... and after all the data and site stories I've been going through they do sound like a good choice... but that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep comparing others for awhile, after all I'm not getting one until I have everything ready.

But one thing I don't know is, what's the bar spacing I should be looking at in a cage for a mini-macaw like a yellow-collared? there isn't anything concerning that on any of the sites I've looked at... in fact none of the sites I've looked at for any of the bird types say what the max bar spacing should be for the bird...
 

mtdoramike

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Don't settle, get what you want as long as you know what your getting from the git go. It isn't unheard of for a Cockatiel to live 20 years. So if your like me a more of a one pet type of guy, then don't settle.
 

Sonic Zippy

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I am not a parrot owner yet since I need to determine if my lifestyle will accomodate one. This forum is a wonderful resource for all things unknown.

However, I'm going to chime in on your age - right now you're in your early 20's which seems like an adult, and it technically is, however, you are going to have some major potential changes in your life which could include marriage and/or children. Are you willing to continue working with your parrot through those changes? What happens if your large parrot goes after your spouse and/or children?

These are things that must be thought of.....since these birds do live a long long time.

My husband is bi-polar so I am quite aware of the manic highs and the depressing lows - is your medication at the levels where you can function on a day to day basis? I'm not being snarky, I'm being realistic. One of the things I'm learning about the larger parrots (Cockatoos especially) is their NEED for things. It's not a want, it's a NEED. They absolutely cannot be ignored - they will NEED your interaction daily....and if you aren't mentally sound, you just can't provide that.

I'm looking into Double Yellow Head Amazons or Congo African Greys as the parrots of choice for my family. I appreciate the independent nature of each species, which will work for me since I am employed full-time and have children - but part of me is unsure of the consistent attention that I CAN give to them.

I know you want the bird but please take your time and get all the information you can because again, you have so many changes in your life you haven't even gone through yet -

For example, I NEVER wanted children. Imagine my surprise when right after my 30th birthday I got pregnant. How the heck did that happen?????;).....something I didn't anticipate happening and a HUGE lifestyle change....

Good luck to you!
Ann
 

Parrot Parent

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I'm sorry if I put off getting a smaller bird as just a "stepping stone" type of pet. That was not at all my intentions. And If you arent afraid of the physical harm the larger macaws can do thats great too. That will be a great help with training your bird. I just wanted to let you know my opinion based off the fact that I had known anything about your history in pet care. However you seem to know what you are talking about, and hey if you feel like you are settling for less than you want then dont. To be quite honest I wanted a macaw too, but after reading about them and their special diets and needs I decided I just didnt have the means to care for such a large bird. I started searching for smaller birds and came across the sun conure. I in no way feel like I "Settled" for anything less because he is full of such life! :) He is cute and funny and just the perfect size for me. Of course that doesnt mean I wont strive for that macaw I want in the future. I'll just have to wait till I'm sure I can provide the proper means for caring for it. And just cause I have a bird now doesnt mean I cant add one in a few years! lol. But yea sorry if I had offended you in any way or made you feel that you should settle for anything less
 

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