An introduction and sharing some guilt (LONG but TL;DR at end)

[Solanyx]

Here is bird introduction: https://www.parrotforums.com/thread...uilt-long-but-tl-dr-at-end.97051/post-1032005

Hi, so I'm about to graduate highschool in a few months and I've been on the forum since 2021 I believe when I got my first bird but I never really introduced myself or properly utilized the forum when I think I should have.

You can call me Solanyx (I might change my profile name so people can more easily address me). I got my sun conure in may of 2021 and life has been kind of crazy. I did a lot of research about birds and bird care before getting Daiquiri (Kiri) my sun but I still didn't fully understand until after I got her what it entails. I think I should've volunteered at a bird shelter before comitting.

I've never once regretted getting Kiri but there are so many times where I've felt guilty for not being good enough for her. It's crazy to look at pictures of her as a baby and think about how much time has passed so quickly. I was so determined that I'd be the best trainer. She's still on a mostly all pellet diet because I'm so crappy I haven't even been able to get her to eat veggies (she sometimes gets fruit/nuts and she'll accept bell pepper and kind of spinach from me but not in her bowl) And now all of sudden she's about to be 2 years old and I feel like such a failure.

I'm doing homeschool and working part time 3 days a week. I have her out at least a little every day and she isn't deprived of her needs and has toys/enrichment and a big cage and regular vet visits. But I've also created a very unhealthy bond with her basically only interacting with me.

Because of this and me feeling she was lonely I recently got a second baby bird in September, a crimson bellied conure. Paprika (Prika) the crimson started off as a real sweety, very cuddly and not at all scared of hands.

Then all of a sudden right before I went on a trip to Ashville last month right as I was setting up to walk out the door she was terrified of my hands and wouldn't come to me to get back in her cage. I have no idea how this happened but think it might have had to do with me vacuuming my rug in my room/bird room. She didn't get hurt in the process but it may have been the noise. She's been a little flighty since we got her and panics when she hears Kiri's loud calls for me as I think she misinterprets these as distress calls.

She's a little better now but still won't come to my hands but will only get on my shoulder and I have to turn the light out so she can't see to get her in/out of cage. I'm trying to transition her from a pellet/seed mix meant for budgies/finches (very small particle size) to the same pellets as Kiri.

I didn't just get Prika as a friend for Kiri but that was a big hope and now I feel like I'm failing with 2 birds especially because Prika won't even recall which is the one thing I trained with Kiri and I succeeded at. I have another thread about a clipping debate for Prika.

I have enough money saved for an outdoor aviary and I'm thinking that might help them bond as it'll be a large neutral territory and I was planning on building it anyway so I might try to get my Dad to make that a priority for us to work on together after house renovations.

TL;DR: I'm a failure but I think I can do better and don't want to give up and adopt them out just yet. I'm open to questions if I missed any important info and harsh criticism and I just really need some advice 🥺 Also I know that it's not best to get birds with college and stuff but I have a plan for that and I won't be away from them (I've paid for everything related to my birds and will continue to)

 

[HeatherG]

i don’t hear anything terrible in this post.
I also feed mostly pellets, for a few reasons. I’m sure there are better bird parents than me on the forum, but I do ok and it sounds like you do, too.

Not everything goes perfectly or as planned. Don’t sweat it and adjust things as you go.

 

[zERo]

Welcome to the forums!

Feeling guilt is common when something is not how people expect things to be.

Getting birds to eat veggies is probably one of the most asked questions in the bird community, if a bird wasn't weaned onto eating veg, the person who buys the bird has a much harder time getting the bird to eat them.
For my birds, especially my Quaker who came to me eating just seed and fruit and wanted nothing to do with veg.
Mixing pellets in with very finely chopped veg and letting the pellets get a little soggy in the juice can help transition them.
Birdie bread is another good way to get veg into their diet, even if they never eat a fresh veg in their life at least they can eat it in this form, they're many great recipes on this forum.

Birds can suddenly become fearful for reasons unknown to us, this has happened with one of my budgie females once before, she went from mostly recall trained to very fearful of me for no reason I could understand.
Treat your conure Prika as if you just brought her home, have you tried target training her? Try training her through the bars of her cage rather than outside of it, then go from there.
Not all birds will be easy to recall train, I wouldn't clip Prika personally, clipping a fearful bird can cause them to become more fearful.
How do you get her back in the cage? The least invasive and non-trust breaking way would be to let her see you drop a fav treat into her bowl and then she'll put herself up.

An aviary is a cool idea, would be very enriching for your conures.

Also you are not a failure, training and getting your birds on good diet just takes time, and while pellets are good as a supplement they are best as just a supplement not the whole diet.

Hope this helps

 

[HeatherG]

I am constantly feeling crummy and don’t consistently feed vegetables (and fruit). I do it when I think of it and I have fresh or cooked but not seasoned. Which I guess is pretty frequently, but I’m not feeding a fancy chop every day. I hope that’s ok. I figure it’s mostly a bit boring.

 

[Solanyx]

Welcome to the forums!

Feeling guilt is common when something is not how people expect things to be.

Getting birds to eat veggies is probably one of the most asked questions in the bird community, if a bird wasn't weaned onto eating veg, the person who buys the bird has a much harder time getting the bird to eat them.
For my birds, especially my Quaker who came to me eating just seed and fruit and wanted nothing to do with veg.
Mixing pellets in with very finely chopped veg and letting the pellets get a little soggy in the juice can help transition them.
Birdie bread is another good way to get veg into their diet, even if they never eat a fresh veg in their life at least they can eat it in this form, they're many great recipes on this forum.

Birds can suddenly become fearful for reasons unknown to us, this has happened with one of my budgie females once before, she went from mostly recall trained to very fearful of me for no reason I could understand.
Treat your conure Prika as if you just brought her home, have you tried target training her? Try training her through the bars of her cage rather than outside of it, then go from there.
Not all birds will be easy to recall train, I wouldn't clip Prika personally, clipping a fearful bird can cause them to become more fearful.
How do you get her back in the cage? The least invasive and non-trust breaking way would be to let her see you drop a fav treat into her bowl and then she'll put herself up.

An aviary is a cool idea, would be very enriching for your conures.

Also you are not a failure, training and getting your birds on good diet just takes time, and while pellets are good as a supplement they are best as just a supplement not the whole diet.

Hope this helps

Sorry for word dump ahead, don't feel obligated to read/respond to it all.

Thank you for your reassurance and tips. It's just really strange because I think it's just mostly my hands because she will sit on my shoulder and even chew/preen my hair or investigate my glasses and nose.
Which because Prika was so trusting in the beginning I did develop a probably bad habit of lightly cupping her to transport/restrain her when I felt necessary and this may have also caused her fear because I need to give her the option to step up rather than being forceful.

It can just be really easy to get impatient when they don't want to do certain things that you need them to do like get in their travel carriers but I will work on being better with patience. That and consistency.

And deep down I know that I'm not abusive and I don't deprive them of necessities and they could've gone to somebody much worse but I also can't help but think they could've gone to somebody much better. I guess the best I can do is be positive about it not negative and try to become the better person they theoretically could've gone to.

I try to let her put herself up mostly like you said or use tools around me. Today for example I was trying to bond with her and she kept going from place to place as I tried to discourage her from standing on top of Kiri's cage and starting a fight while also trying to get her back in her cage I briefly checked my phone and she hopped on it. (She really likes licking/investigating phone screens and trying to figure out how to get the phone case off) so while she was on the phone I slid my phone in the cage and she hopped to a perch.

When something is going on and I can't wait for her to put herself up (this is gonna sound weird) I turn the lights off so it's dark and she can't see and when I lightly touch her chest with my finger she'll step up. She never seems super distressed by the dark because she sleeps in pitch black but I think she trusts me more in the dark because I'm better than a predator that may be lurking in the blackness and she knows I'll transport her to a safe place aka her cage. I hope this doesn't sound abusive cause if she showed any signs of distress I wouldn't do it.

Also now that I'm recounting situations I think sometimes she'll show fear of my hands but other times it almost just seems like she doesn't want to go back to her cage because she wants to be out to antagonize her sister 😂 and investigate everything. When she isn't showing fear and it's more a behavioral thing would you just still suggest target training? And would that change things with clipping? If you look at my thread about the clipping I detail aside from flightiness I also am considering it for maybe helping her bond with Kiri.

I'm still trying to figure out her favorite treat. It's strange cause she's smaller than Kiri pretty significantly especially head size so they don't like the same stuff. Kiri loves sunflower seeds and walnuts and big chunks but Prika seems to like whatever tiny thing are in the seed mix she gets right now. I'll have to look at ingredients to pinpoint what it is, I've just been giving same thing breeder did.

Breeder for Kiri never gave veg I don't think but Prika breeder gave Birdy bread and corn so she loves corn. I'll have to try to make a bird bread.

 

[Solanyx]

i don’t hear anything terrible in this post.
I also feed mostly pellets, for a few reasons. I’m sure there are better bird parents than me on the forum, but I do ok and it sounds like you do, too.

Not everything goes perfectly or as planned. Don’t sweat it and adjust things as you go.

I appreciate it a lot thank you. Do you have multiple birds, if so how did introductions/bonding them to?

 

[Solanyx]

Also since this is technically an introduction I think I need to introduce my feathered friends that brought me to the forum in the first place so here we go.

The one...the only
Rainbow chicken - Daiquiri (Kiri)(my last name)




The myth and the legend
Paprika (Prika) Megatron Lazerbeak (my last name)



And together they are.... The crackheads

 

[HeatherG]

I appreciate it a lot thank you. Do you have multiple birds, if so how did introductions/bonding them to?

My birds are very different sizes and builds so they don’t cuddle or hang out.

They seem rather jealous. When one is out the other yells or talks loudly.

I trade off our time, kisses, pets, treats as well as I can.

 

[Terry57]

Welcome back to the forum!
I can tell you are a much better parront than you give yourself credit for. You are here now, asking questions to make their lives better. You care.
They both also look healthy, their feathers are beautiful.

I have a lot of birds, but most don't play well with others. However, I also had a Crimson-bellied conure, and he was a plucker. A serious plucker. He was 2 years old when someone offered me a Green Cheek. I was going to take him anyway, but I hoped that he and Phoe could become friends. I felt that because he couldn't fly that he would be in too much danger introducing him to my Sun or Jenday with their size difference.

The Green Cheek is named Jax, and I put his cage right next to Phoe's cage. Phoe's cage is connected to the cockatiel cage by ladders. (My Tiel hangs out on a boing across the room when he's out).
Anyway, I connected Jax's cage to Phoe's with a rope perch and a ladder. Jax would come over to the tiel cage, wanting to visit with Phoe, and Phoe didn't like it at all. He would chase him and Jax would fly back to his cage.
It took probably 6 months before Phoe decided he wanted to be friends. After that they were inseparable, except at night. They both wanted to sleep in their own cage.

With 2 birds, you should always be in the room if they are both out. The size difference, even with flight, is too much of a risk if you aren't right there. I think it's better to allow them to introduce themselves, and get used to each other on their own terms.
However, some birds never get along; but just having another bird in the room is a lot of company, whether they can interact or not. Mine that don't like each other at all still talk to each other when they're in their cages

I think you should start back at the beginning with them both. Here is a fantastic link that I hope will help:

Tips for Bonding and Building Trust

Please ask anything you want, our members are not a judgmental bunch. Everyone here just wants to help others and their birds

I'm really glad you're here again.

 

[Cottonoid]

I have two parrots, one is 2.5 and one is right about six months old. The baby will eat any veggie I show him, in any form. He eats seeds and will mostly eat pellets too except for TOPS unless I crush them up. He loves broccoli best but will really eat all veggies and loves them so much I have to cut back so he'll eat pellets/seeds.

My older parrot will eat seeds, a few pellets, and red peppers. He'll eat a little veggies if I make a chop with peppers. Mostly he likes peppers and walnuts, ha. He thinks broccoli is poison and won't take any treats from me for a day or two if I try to offer him broccoli LOL

They're all different and it just takes time. I'm still working with my baby to eat the ratios I'd like him to. I'm definitely still working with my first guy to eat anything besides peppers!

I feel really guilty sometimes that I'm not doing everything I want to for them, but I'm also older and know that I always feel this way about all of my pets. I think for most of us, even asking the question whether we're doing right by our animals makes us a more aware caretaker.

I think you're a just fine parrot parent