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[LaManuka]

Arise (Despite heroic work by globally renown brain care specialists and pristine cloacal discharges provided for fecal/cranial transplant from hopeful whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, Snappy's brain refused to arise from the depths of babble. SEI issued lucrative contract to Planet Vulcan for erecting massive radiation shield around earth, preventing sinister interstellar telepathic mind melds. Neurology boffins repeated erasure and reset of Snappy managed nothing more erudite than:

I knock the ice from my bones
Try not to feel the cold
Caught in the thought of that time
When everything was fine, everything was mine
Everything was fine, everything was mine
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
Run with my hands on my eyes
Blind, but I'm still alive
Free to go back on my own
But is it still a home when you're all alone
Is it still a home when you're all alone
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put me back together again
All the king's…

Arose (Private braincare specialists at Whangārei hospital report good progress!! Snappy arose from his comatose stupor following fecal/cranial transplant, checked himself out of hospital and has been seen roaming the beaches of Wainuiototo and, in a voice that sounds astonishingly like that of Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, is heard singing the hypnotic melody "Pokarekare ana", ably accompanied in four part harmony by his tuneful and ever faithful whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, and the haunting refrain echoes up and down the whole of the beautiful Coromandel............)

Everybody sing!!

"Pōkarekare ana, ngā wai o Waiapu
Whiti atu koe hine, marino ana e.

E hine e, hoki mai ra
Ka mate ahau i te aroha e.

Tuhituhi taku reta, tuku atu taku rīngi
Kia kite tō iwi, raru raru ana e.

E hine e, hoki mai ra
Ka mate ahau i te aroha e.

E kore te aroha, e maroke i te rā
Mākūkū tonu i aku roimata e.

E hine e, hoki mai ra
Ka mate ahau i te aroha e"

[ame="https://youtu.be/xgRVK2ge1ys"]https://youtu.be/xgRVK2ge1ys[/ame]

 

[Scott]

Arose (Private braincare specialists at Whangārei hospital report good progress!! Snappy arose from his comatose stupor following fecal/cranial transplant, checked himself out of hospital and has been seen roaming the beaches of Wainuiototo, singing the hypnotic melody "Pokarekare ana", ably accompanied in four part harmony by his tuneful and ever faithful whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, and the haunting refrain echoes up and down the whole of the beautiful Coromandel............)

Everybody sing!!

"Pōkarekare ana, ngā wai o Waiapu
Whiti atu koe hine, marino ana e.

E hine e, hoki mai ra
Ka mate ahau i te aroha e.

Tuhituhi taku reta, tuku atu taku rīngi
Kia kite tō iwi, raru raru ana e.

E hine e, hoki mai ra
Ka mate ahau i te aroha e.

E kore te aroha, e maroke i te rā
Mākūkū tonu i aku roimata e.

E hine e, hoki mai ra
Ka mate ahau i te aroha e"

Faroe (Snappy left his comatose stupor behind despite needing earplugs to stanch the flow of fecal transplant leakage. Braincare specialists at Whangārei recommended intense memory therapy using song to bolster capacity. Snappy arranged travel to the Faroe Islands to memorize a thirty verse song "The Witch at Miðjanesi." Faithful whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā turned out to wish Snappy bon voyage as he boarded the elegant SEI Vickers VC.10 flight.)

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSb1L5_lX-o"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSb1L5_lX-o[/ame]

 

[LaManuka]

Faroe (Snappy left his comatose stupor behind despite needing earplugs to stanch the flow of fecal transplant leakage. Braincare specialists at Whangārei recommended intense memory therapy using song to bolster capacity. Snappy arranged travel to the Faroe Islands to memorize a thirty verse song "The Witch at Miðjanesi." Faithful whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā turned out to wish Snappy bon voyage as he boarded the elegant SEI Vickers VC.10 flight.)

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSb1L5_lX-o"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSb1L5_lX-o[/ame]

After (After having memorised a thirty verse song in faultless Faroese, and just when hope was diminishing that it would ever be seen again, Snappy receives word that a shipment of specially commissioned Snappitude™ Icelandic fermented shark flavoured snacks, transported aboard an ancient, rattly and decidedly inelegant 747 operated by a moth-eaten Antipodean Feral Macropod has finally been sighted by officials in it's destination country. He and Snippy and whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā plan a week long feast of Spam, offal and organ meats cooked in a hangi in a stinking, steaming and sulphurous pit in Rotorua by way of celebration!)

 

[Scott]

After (After having memorised a thirty verse song in faultless Faroese, and just when hope was diminishing that it would ever be seen again, Snappy receives word that a shipment of specially commissioned Snappitude™ Icelandic fermented shark flavoured snacks, transported aboard an ancient, rattly and decidedly inelegant 747 operated by a moth-eaten Antipodean Feral Macropod has finally been sighted by officials in it's destination country. He and Snippy and whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā plan a week long feast of Spam, offal and organ meats cooked in a hangi in a stinking, steaming and sulphurous pit in Rotorua by way of celebration!)

Farty (One good turn deserves another following day of debauchery engorging specially commissioned Snappitude™ Icelandic fermented shark flavoured snacks. Week long feast of Spam, offal and organ meats cooked in a hangi resulted in supremely farty whānau. SEI designed fart collectors installed in hundreds of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Snippy designed leaded, pressurized perfume decanters were filled with Snappy's obscenely disgusting cloaka-blasts. Customized Wunala Dreaming 747 flew precious cargo to the UN for global distribution.)

 

[LaManuka]

Farty (One good turn deserves another following day of debauchery engorging specially commissioned Snappitude™ Icelandic fermented shark flavoured snacks. Week long feast of Spam, offal and organ meats cooked in a hangi resulted in supremely farty whānau. SEI designed fart collectors installed in hundreds of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Snippy designed leaded, pressurized perfume decanters were filled with Snappy's obscenely disgusting cloaka-blasts. Customized Wunala Dreaming 747 flew precious cargo to the UN for global distribution.)

Warty (Week long feast of Spam, offal and organ meats cooked in a hangi resulted in supremely farty whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā and leaves their skin looking decidedly warty. Pinheads with clipboards from the UN are tasked with lancing warty pustules and using the noxious residue to fill specially designed leaded, pressurized perfume decanters for transport aboard Wunala Dreaming. However, owing to sudden inflight depressurization, they burst halfway through the journey filling the aircraft with vile purulence. The venerable 747 is forced to divert to Reykjavík as no other port will allow it to land. News services in Reykjavík report a veritable stampede towards the airport as locals recognise the smell and help themselves to a feast of pre-digested Icelandic fermented shark!)

 

[Scott]

Warty (Week long feast of Spam, offal and organ meats cooked in a hangi resulted in supremely farty whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā and leaves their skin looking decidedly warty. Pinheads with clipboards from the UN are tasked with lancing warty pustules and using the noxious residue to fill specially designed leaded, pressurized perfume decanters for transport aboard Wunala Dreaming. However, owing to sudden inflight depressurization, they burst halfway through the journey filling the aircraft with vile purulence. The venerable 747 is forced to divert to Reykjavík as no other port will allow it to land. News services in Reykjavík report a veritable stampede towards the airport as locals recognise the smell and help themselves to a feast of pre-digested Icelandic fermented shark!)

Party (Inflight depressurization aboard Wunala Dreaming resulted in mysterious chemical alteration of lanced warty pustules. Stampede from frenzied party of pre-digested Icelandic fermented shark consumption turned grotesque with sudden widespread incontinence. UN pinheads with clipboards were aghast at flowing yellow rivers and lakes imposed martial law with force field dome pending scientific inquiry. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā watched the freak show with glee from hundreds of strategically placed video cameras a la "The Truman Show.")

Dome covering Reykjavik, props to Stephen King's "Under the Dome" book and TV series.

 

[LaManuka]

Party (Inflight depressurization aboard Wunala Dreaming resulted in mysterious chemical alteration of lanced warty pustules. Stampede from frenzied party of pre-digested Icelandic fermented shark consumption turned grotesque with sudden widespread incontinence. UN pinheads with clipboards were aghast at flowing yellow rivers and lakes imposed martial law with force field dome pending scientific inquiry. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā watched the freak show with glee from hundreds of strategically placed video cameras a la "The Truman Show.")

Dome covering Reykjavik, props to Stephen King's "Under the Dome" book and TV series.

Teary (Built up stench released by mysterious chemically altered outpourings from lanced warty pustules leaves whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā all rheumy-eyed and teary. Working from the safety of her lab back at the Snappitude™ factory on the beautiful Coromandel Peninsula, Snippy hurriedly invents a Spam-based eau de parfum and ships it to Reykjavík in hopes of making the air under the all-encompassing dome a little more fragrant......)

 

[Scott]

Teary (Built up stench released by mysterious chemically altered outpourings from lanced warty pustules leaves whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā all rheumy-eyed and teary. Working from the safety of her lab back at the Snappitude™ factory on the beautiful Coromandel Peninsula, Snippy hurriedly invents a Spam-based eau de parfum and ships it to Reykjavík in hopes of making the air under the all-encompassing dome a little more fragrant......)

Artsy (Snappitude™ factory Spam-based eau de parfum doubled as aphrodisiac leading to record pregnancies among whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Unfortunately heightened consumption of Spam, offal, and organ meats triply increased fetid cloacal stench, prompting another brilliant invention from Snippy. Artsy multi layered Spam masks impregnated with fresh organ meats proved satisfactory offset to vile odors.)

 

[LaManuka]

Artsy (Snappitude™ factory Spam-based eau de parfum doubled as aphrodisiac leading to record pregnancies among whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Unfortunately heightened consumption of Spam, offal, and organ meats triply increased fetid cloacal stench, prompting another brilliant invention from Snippy. Artsy multi layered Spam masks impregnated with fresh organ meats proved satisfactory offset to vile odors.)

Pasty (Record pregnancies among whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā leads them to spending too much time indoors and beginning to look rather pallid and pasty. Snappy ships them all back to the beautiful Coromandel aboard Wunala Dreaming, specially insulated to contain the foul stench of Spam, offal, organ meats and Icelandic shark during transit, and orders them all onto the beaches to get some sun. Some of the tan lines are rather unfortunate..............)

* I don't think this is real :13:

 

[Scott]

Pasty (Record pregnancies among whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā leads them to spending too much time indoors and beginning to look rather pallid and pasty. Snappy ships them all back to the beautiful Coromandel aboard Wunala Dreaming, specially insulated to contain the foul stench of Spam, offal, organ meats and Icelandic shark during transit, and orders them all onto the beaches to get some sun. Some of the tan lines are rather unfortunate..............)

Spays (Abundant sun over the beautiful Coromandel quickly tans whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, eradicating rather unfortunate croc-hole spots and lines. Babies are born over time, leading to critical shortage of Spam, offal, organ meats and Icelandic shark. Snappy spays the mothers by locking them inside the rank, grotesque interior of Wunala Dreaming for entire week.

 

[LaManuka]

Spays (Abundant sun over the beautiful Coromandel quickly tans whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, eradicating rather unfortunate croc-hole spots and lines. Babies are born over time, leading to critical shortage of Spam, offal, organ meats and Icelandic shark. Snappy spays the mothers by locking them inside the rank, grotesque interior of Wunala Dreaming for entire week.

Soapy (Mums and bubs of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, locked inside increasingly rank, grotesque interior of Wunala Dreaming for entire week and fed a constant diet of Spam, offal, organ meats and Icelandic shark, not surprisingly work up an almighty stink! Snippy declares that they have been punished for long enough and has them released onto the beaches of the beautiful Coromandel where they are hosed down and made soapy with the only cleanser that makes any sense!)

 

[Scott]

Soapy (Mums and bubs of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā, locked inside increasingly rank, grotesque interior of Wunala Dreaming for entire week and fed a constant diet of Spam, offal, organ meats and Icelandic shark, not surprisingly work up an almighty stink! Snippy declares that they have been punished for long enough and has them released onto the beaches of the beautiful Coromandel where they are hosed down and made soapy with the only cleanser that makes any sense!)

Ploys (Snippy's ploys for mandatory soapy bathing on Coromandel beaches met with swift backlash. Mums and bubs of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā became enchanted with vile stink and craved disgusting ingredients in lotions and potions. SEI was happy to capitalize with full disclosure of noxious ingredients in new line of cosmetics and personal care products.)

 

[LaManuka]

Ploys (Snippy's ploys for mandatory soapy bathing on Coromandel beaches met with swift backlash. Mums and bubs of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā became enchanted with vile stink and craved disgusting ingredients in lotions and potions. SEI was happy to capitalize with full disclosure of noxious ingredients in new line of cosmetics and personal care products.)

Plays (New line of Snappitude™ manufactured cosmetics plays extremely well among whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Placentas left behind after recently birthed bubs melted down and combined withSpam, whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime and civet cat glandular secretions to create Snappy-patented cream cleansers, moisturisers, exotic perfumes to help allow those enchanting and intoxicating odours to linger all day and all night long. It won't be long until another slew of bubs is on the way!)

 

[Scott]

Plays (New line of Snappitude™ manufactured cosmetics plays extremely well among whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā. Placentas left behind after recently birthed bubs melted down and combined withSpam, whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime and civet cat glandular secretions to create Snappy-patented cream cleansers, moisturisers, exotic perfumes to help allow those enchanting and intoxicating odours to linger all day and all night long. It won't be long until another slew of bubs is on the way!)

Salty (Snappitude™ manufactured cosmetics a huge hit, triples market capitalization of SEI after six months. Within one year a strange new disease surfaced, transforming select whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā into vile, repulsive smelly piles of manure. Forensic scientists determined mixing whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime and civet cat glandular secretions with Coromandel salty air caused permanent bodily chemical alteration.)

 

[LaManuka]

Salty (Snappitude™ manufactured cosmetics a huge hit, triples market capitalization of SEI after six months. Within one year a strange new disease surfaced, transforming select whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā into vile, repulsive smelly piles of manure. Forensic scientists determined mixing whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime and civet cat glandular secretions with Coromandel salty air caused permanent bodily chemical alteration.)

Clays (Working in her fully equipped cosmetic lab at Snappitude™ Industries (a wholly owned subsidiary of SEI Incorporated), Snippy designs DIY range of facial mask recipes for the stay-at-home mums of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā to create. Snappy finds he can sell ingredients such as locally available pink clays, Spam, whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime and civet cat glandular secretions individually for a much higher mark up. Resemblance to vile, repulsive smelly piles of manure turns out to be the "in" thing for 2021 on the beautiful Coromandel!)

 

[Scott]

Clays (Working in her fully equipped cosmetic lab at Snappitude™ Industries (a wholly owned subsidiary of SEI Incorporated), Snippy designs DIY range of facial mask recipes for the stay-at-home mums of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā to create. Snappy finds he can sell ingredients such as locally available pink clays, Spam, whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime and civet cat glandular secretions individually for a much higher mark up. Resemblance to vile, repulsive smelly piles of manure turns out to be the "in" thing for 2021 on the beautiful Coromandel!)

Lycra (SEI stumbled on another use for pink clays, Spam, whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime, and civet cat glandular secretions. Adding pureed vile, repulsive smelly piles of manure yields thin, stretchable material akin to lycra. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā soon ditch their stifling mylar jumpsuits, wearing stylish and affordable duds for relaxing on the beautiful Coromandel.)

 

[LaManuka]

Lycra (SEI stumbled on another use for pink clays, Spam, whale vomit, mink fat, snail slime, and civet cat glandular secretions. Adding pureed vile, repulsive smelly piles of manure yields thin, stretchable material akin to lycra. Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā soon ditch their stifling mylar jumpsuits, wearing stylish and affordable duds for relaxing on the beautiful Coromandel.)

Glary (Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā so happy to be wearing stylish and affordable duds for frolicking on the beaches of the beautiful Coromandel. As conditions out there however are notoriously glary, SEI Inc. has happily provided them with exclusive and specially made matching sunglasses, guaranteed to reduce the blazing effects of the southern sun!)

 

[Scott]

Glary (Whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā so happy to be wearing stylish and affordable duds for frolicking on the beaches of the beautiful Coromandel. As conditions out there however are notoriously glary, SEI Inc. has happily provided them with exclusive and specially made matching sunglasses, guaranteed to reduce the blazing effects of the southern sun!)

Glory (SEI Inc. sunglasses reduced the blazing effects of southern sun, leading to increased amorous encounters on beaches of the beautiful Coromandel. Snippy created recipe for aphrodisiac Spam sculpture in the likeness of ScoMo, increasing glory of enhanced libido. Birthrates of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā surged to historic levels.)

 

[LaManuka]

Glory (SEI Inc. sunglasses reduced the blazing effects of southern sun, leading to increased amorous encounters on beaches of the beautiful Coromandel. Snippy created recipe for aphrodisiac Spam sculpture in the likeness of ScoMo, increasing glory of enhanced libido. Birthrates of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā surged to historic levels.)

Royal (Spam sculpture in the likeness of ScoMo causes sudden enlargement in ego of serving Prime Minister above and beyond the realms of everyday norms! ScoMo attempts to order Snappy and accompanying whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā back to Snappy's ancestral Arnhem Land home aboard ancient and rickety Wunala Dreaming 747 by royal decree, but is thwarted by Border Force pinheads with clipboards who refuse entry to a planeload of vile, stinking wretched whānau carrying more Spam, offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese than is legally permitted to cross international borders!)

 

[Scott]

Royal (Spam sculpture in the likeness of ScoMo causes sudden enlargement in ego of serving Prime Minister above and beyond the realms of everyday norms! ScoMo attempts to order Snappy and accompanying whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā back to Snappy's ancestral Arnhem Land home aboard ancient and rickety Wunala Dreaming 747 by royal decree, but is thwarted by Border Force pinheads with clipboards who refuse entry to a planeload of vile, stinking wretched whānau carrying more Spam, offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese than is legally permitted to cross international borders!)

Ovary (Hideous Spam sculpture of serving Prime Minister reached epic proportions by decree. All Coromandel houses of worship mandated to display life sized rendition, restaurants required to obtain similarly themed waffle and pancake moulds. ScoMo managed to hermetically seal a cadre of whānau from Whitianga, Whangapoua and Whangamatā with six week supply of Spam, offal, organ meats, Icelandic fermented shark and Sardinian maggot cheese inside ancient and rickety Wunala Dreaming 747. Snippy and SEI scientists hope to create a new spreadable delicacy once opened, aired out, and contents run through industrial blenders, served atop a freshly harvested ovary.)