Dealing with humans

[GivemeSeedsorgivemeFlesh]

I recently moved in with my mom following two deaths and a mold situation. It has benefited both of us. She is and has been on board with non toxic living in general for a good while. It isn't new to her. We use cast iron and stainless steel. We clean with vinegar. We don't use air fresheners. We distill our water to remove the fluoride. We try to eat as healthy as we can. She understands that many products are not good for us. I have told her multiple times that these things can kill a bird. The cupboards are filled with fragrance free shampoos, soaps and detergents. And somehow, she manages to randomly pop out with the stinkiest, most fragrant cleaner one could buy. I walk down the hall where Juliette is sleeping and the whole area reeks like perfume. I moved her and pray she is okay. I don't know how else to impress upon my mother the seriousness of the situation. It just doesn't occur to her that whatever she's using might kill the bird. Juliette is with me most of the time. But it's almost like I have to follow my mother around because you just can't predict what she's going to pull out of her back pocket. How do you get through to someone who just doesn't think? It's not intentional. It just doesn't cross her mind. I'm deathly afraid she's going to do something utterly unpredictable when Juliette is present, and I won't be fast enough to intervene. I was gone for an appointment today for an hour. What if she pulled out some random cleaner from the eighties that she only uses on the fifth Friday of the month when the moon is full to wash a lampshade or something?? She means well. She loves Juliette. She cuddled with her today. But she just doesn't think!

 

[DonnaBudgie]

So frustrating and scary! Can you go through the cupboards and throw out anything unacceptable? Purge them from the house. Substitute acceptable products for the tossed ones. If she's on board she shouldn't mind.

There are quite a few posts by members who had birds die from toxic fumes. Have you read these posts to her?

 

[onamom]

It’s really hard to get non-bird people to understand these things. I’ve had this problem when I used to travel with Ona to relatives houses for holidays. Even though I’d try to say beforehand: unplug air fresheners, don’t use aerosols, etc it’s just something that takes time and practice for people to learn. Eventually I stopped taking her to other houses for this reason.

Perhaps you could make a list of safe products and kindly explain these are the only bird-safe things that can be used in the house? Maybe put reminder sticky notes around the places cleaning products are kept? When I was training myself for my “new bird routine” I used sticky notes to remind myself to not open doors without checking, etc. of course now it’s second nature but back then it did help.

 

[rheashard2]

Non bird people can be hard to convince about toxic material. My daughter is the same with cleansers and incense. The whole house has to reek or she's not satisfied. For some reason she equates strong fumes with doing the job right. This is an ongoing struggle with her. I do not purchase the items. It helps some.

 

[GivemeSeedsorgivemeFlesh]

It’s really hard to get non-bird people to understand these things. I’ve had this problem when I used to travel with Ona to relatives houses for holidays. Even though I’d try to say beforehand: unplug air fresheners, don’t use aerosols, etc it’s just something that takes time and practice for people to learn. Eventually I stopped taking her to other houses for this reason.

Perhaps you could make a list of safe products and kindly explain these are the only bird-safe things that can be used in the house? Maybe put reminder sticky notes around the places cleaning products are kept? When I was training myself for my “new bird routine” I used sticky notes to remind myself to not open doors without checking, etc. of course now it’s second nature but back then it did help.

The sticky notes are a good idea. It's just some things are squirreled away, like the bar of soap she showed me the other day from the mid '70s. Some things she "might" need. Finding every randomly saved bit of liquid that might or might not be labeled would necessitate minutely going through her most private possessions. There are some inherited depression era habits that are hard to break.

 

[ChristopherBradly]

I've noticed that, since we've changed our lifestyle because of our birds, I can pick up on smells much more clearly and some of the things that I used to enjoy have now become overwhelming. My wife went outside to spray on my cologne, she did one spray, and I almost gagged from inside the house. Now I am getting rid of all my old cologne.

Also, humans are the worst. I have been very thankful that my wife was so willing to change the household cleaners for something safer for the bird. We changed the cat litter, the laundry detergent, practically everything. No scents at all except the natural scents of birds, carts and dogs around here, lol.