bonitabird59
Well-known member
- Apr 12, 2022
- 189
- 456
Hello! I am new to using this forum, however for the past 10 or so years I've used this site as a resource for parrot information. Incredibly helpful! I'd like to add a trigger warning for this post as I am going to be talking about my parrot who passed away.
When I was a young girl, my grandmother got sick and gave me her red-lored amazon parrot named Bonita. She was known as the old crabby bird who bit just about everyone, and hated everyone except for my grandma. She bit several family members and friends, would scream bloody murder if she wanted you out of her sight, and would go as far as pelting you with carrots and sunflower seeds. I decided to take her on because I loved all animals. Little did I know the impact of this (then 55 y/o) parrot. She became my world.
We spent every day together. She moved out with me to college. I spent all the time and money I could muster on her. She was my goodmorning and my goodnight. We snuggled constantly and everyone said I turned her into a new bird. She was literally my best friend. I even got a job at a chain pet store and educated people about budgies. I love Bonita to death. Around my 20th birthday, Bonita slowly stopped eating and would vomit up food. Alarmed, I rushed her to the vet. They gave me anti emetics and told me not to worry about it because she was behaving in her normal, evil ways. But she kept getting worse. The vets kept telling me everything was fine, but it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. I converted her onto roudy bush because she was on a seed diet. I never liked that she was on seed but y'all know how hard it is to diet change a bird set in their ways. (refused everything but sunflower seeds, unless it was fresh veggies; she always had those her whole life, about 50% of her diet)
On the second of this month, exactly one month from her first vet visit, Bonita passed away in my arms. She had organ failure from just being old. I knew my time with her was going to be limited, she was incredibly old when I got her- but I just didn't expect it to hurt so bad.
When she finally passed, I was bawling my eyes out. I screamed so loud I blacked out and woke up just to do it all over again. It's been about a week and I just can't stop crying. I miss her so much. She was my world and now she's gone. Everyone around me tells me they know how I feel because they lost dogs or cats before, but I feel like Bonita was so much different. She was so.. human like? She had a fully established personality and acted in her own unique way. All parrots do.
I guess what I'm getting at here is.. when does it get easier? I can't stop crying. I can't even bring myself to look at her cage. Everything she once owned is still here, and I can't even look at it without tearing up and having a hard time breathing. I just miss her so much and I want to know when this is going to get easier, or if it'll ever get easier? How did you guys cope with loss? I have no idea what to do or who to go to because nobody I know is as into parrots as I am.
I attached the only picture I have of her on my camera roll on my computer, but I swear my phone is filled up with her. Looking at pictures of her help, but I almost feel like I'm wallowing in losing her..
When I was a young girl, my grandmother got sick and gave me her red-lored amazon parrot named Bonita. She was known as the old crabby bird who bit just about everyone, and hated everyone except for my grandma. She bit several family members and friends, would scream bloody murder if she wanted you out of her sight, and would go as far as pelting you with carrots and sunflower seeds. I decided to take her on because I loved all animals. Little did I know the impact of this (then 55 y/o) parrot. She became my world.
We spent every day together. She moved out with me to college. I spent all the time and money I could muster on her. She was my goodmorning and my goodnight. We snuggled constantly and everyone said I turned her into a new bird. She was literally my best friend. I even got a job at a chain pet store and educated people about budgies. I love Bonita to death. Around my 20th birthday, Bonita slowly stopped eating and would vomit up food. Alarmed, I rushed her to the vet. They gave me anti emetics and told me not to worry about it because she was behaving in her normal, evil ways. But she kept getting worse. The vets kept telling me everything was fine, but it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. I converted her onto roudy bush because she was on a seed diet. I never liked that she was on seed but y'all know how hard it is to diet change a bird set in their ways. (refused everything but sunflower seeds, unless it was fresh veggies; she always had those her whole life, about 50% of her diet)
On the second of this month, exactly one month from her first vet visit, Bonita passed away in my arms. She had organ failure from just being old. I knew my time with her was going to be limited, she was incredibly old when I got her- but I just didn't expect it to hurt so bad.
When she finally passed, I was bawling my eyes out. I screamed so loud I blacked out and woke up just to do it all over again. It's been about a week and I just can't stop crying. I miss her so much. She was my world and now she's gone. Everyone around me tells me they know how I feel because they lost dogs or cats before, but I feel like Bonita was so much different. She was so.. human like? She had a fully established personality and acted in her own unique way. All parrots do.
I guess what I'm getting at here is.. when does it get easier? I can't stop crying. I can't even bring myself to look at her cage. Everything she once owned is still here, and I can't even look at it without tearing up and having a hard time breathing. I just miss her so much and I want to know when this is going to get easier, or if it'll ever get easier? How did you guys cope with loss? I have no idea what to do or who to go to because nobody I know is as into parrots as I am.
I attached the only picture I have of her on my camera roll on my computer, but I swear my phone is filled up with her. Looking at pictures of her help, but I almost feel like I'm wallowing in losing her..