Divorcing and Royally Ruffled

[MaraWentz]

So after 4 years of my hubby being a complete jerk and listening to his one more chance speeches I am emotionally drained. I tell him and he goes through grief, denial, and anger.

First he cries and cries and tells me if it will make me happy to leave. Then he tells me I cannot leave that he wont let me and his one more chance story begins for the thousandth time and then he turns to anger.

He lashes out saying he is going to take everything- my car, my pets, my phone and that all I will have is an empty room. He then makes low ball at my baby Elvis RIP and tells me he was piece of "crapt" bird anyway so I swung at him. I know, not the right move. He adjusts his jaw and packs his stuff and heads out. I look out and he is driving my only car ( I drive 45 minutes to work each day) with my $500 in the center console (all my money) and I go to call him on the phone I pay the bill for and he has deactivated my phone -__- Im so royally ruffled

 

[Ginkai]

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear your troubles. We are here for you. I hope it isn't to rough on you.

 

[cdog]

I'm so sorry to hear about that. I hate seeing people go through divorces, my parents came extremely close to getting a divorce last year and it was hard to go through.
We are all hear for you if you ever need to talk to someone.

 

[wenz2712]

So sorry for all your grief at the moment... I know what you are going through!
We are all here for you and I hope things come right for you soon

 

[Joeyx]

sorry to hear about that. hope you get through it soon.

 

[KatherineI]

I'm so sorry hon

 

[MaraWentz]

Thanks every one it's getting much harder

 

[Marnie]

i am sorry, i know this is hard on you. i am newly divorced and i love my new life.
if your husband has YOUR car, you should be able to get the authorities to get your car back for you. do you have anyone to help you?

 

[mtdoramike]

If they are legally married, "YOUR" car is "THEIR" car and is community property. No, the authorities will tell her it's a civil matter and should be handled in divorce court.

Sorry to hear of your troubles and hope things turn around for you.

 

[PortaPerch]

So sorry, Mara. The only winners are the lawyers. I know a divorce lawyer through the old car hobby, and I won't let him near my wife...

Community property laws vary by state, so you're better off to ignore what is written here.

Off my perch now.

 

[MaraWentz]

According to MD laws I can take my ca at any time, however his parents have blocked thier cars around it and the sheriff sas h cant make them move thier cars Ugh I am now living with my boss. I got to keep the bird, but my dogs are going to a shellter or home asap

 

[lene1949]

When I chose to separate from my ex husband, I just took myself and my kids to a rented dump.... We bought secondhand furniture, and eventually got an old car... We had been married for over 12 years, and started going out together, when I was 16... We split, when I was 40.

I let my hubby have the house, the car, most of the furniture (I got the kids' stuff)... The reason I did this was, because I believed myself to be stronger emotionally than my ex..

Since then I've had another relationship, where we bought a house... He turned out to be violent, and I left... I got back the money I had deposited on the house...

I have been alone here with my animals for the last 15 years, and I couldn't imagine ever living with another human being...

 

[luvmytooo]

I'm so sorry . I went through a painful divorce too .
Unless this is what you want , maybe after some cooling off you guys can talk civilly about things ?
FYI , are your pets listed in your name at the vets ?
Then they are considered "yours". But , like the previous poster mentioned , it varies from state to state.
Another FYI , get copies of EVERYTHING ! Even the receipt from Bird Paradise when you purchased Erin. Who signed the paperwork ?
These things possibly can help you get custody of Erin.
Whos name is your dogs license in and the vet papers ?

You have got to get yourself into thinking this way if you guys are going to divorce and your hubby is going to make it difficult.
Believe me , I know, I had to let him take my Yellow Nape and my LSC2 .
At the time he was buying another house and I wasn't sure where I was going to end up , meaning another state , so in the birds best interest , he kept them.
I couldn't argue anymore , I was emotionally drained . It was best for them though , I do know that , but it hurt like hell. He does take care of them and they're fine, but they shud have been with me. But , there was no way I could call him and say , well , I remarried and I want me birds back . Wasn't going to go over well, I'm sure.
My Mother kept our two dogs do ex hubby could have visiting rights. Crazy , right ?

Anyhow , get copies of everything , keep a folder of all transactions , bank statements , etc...
I know it's hard to think about this right away , but you have to if it's going to be a nasty divorce. If you guys can come to terms with things , that would be best .
I think he just wanted to hit you where it hurts , so he said that about your animals.

Take care of yourself honey and if you want to talk , PM , we can exchange numbers or emails

 

[MaraWentz]

Thanks everyone but I know that he will get the bird- he took care of all the paperwork so that I could play with Erin. Im giving him in the car, and I am paying for the papers for divorce. If it costs me a beat up car and $140 in paper work never to see him again its worth it. Im just worried about the bird. She hates him and he hardly ever interacted with her except yellling for her to shut up. I will rehome her the moment he asks for her. I jus hope it doesnt come down to that.

 

[luvmytooo]

Thanks everyone but I know that he will get the bird- he took care of all the paperwork so that I could play with Erin. Im giving him in the car, and I am paying for the papers for divorce. If it costs me a beat up car and $140 in paper work never to see him again its worth it. Im just worried about the bird. She hates him and he hardly ever interacted with her except yellling for her to shut up. I will rehome her the moment he asks for her. I jus hope it doesnt come down to that.

You dont now that for sure yet . You can say the bird was a gift.
Do you think he will calm down in a few days to be able to talk civilly ?
I'm so sorry Mara :

 

[MaraWentz]

The bird was a my gift for my birthday. Civilly? lol no way. He goes between needing me and offering all my stuff back, until I tell him I still want a divorce to hating me and cursing, blowng up my phone, etc. For example, he flipped out the other day because I asked him about the divorce papers and out of no where he proceeded to say everything he hated about me including how he hated Elvis (my birdy rip), and he was a s***head anyway and then sent me pics of him at his grave this morning saying he was sorry and wanted to work things out. He is an absolute nut job.

 

[Joeyx]

i don't get why he'd want the bird. i mean, apart from taking everything else and treating
you like crap.. why would he want it? can't believe people can be that cruel. just leave the
bird where it belongs, dammit!

rooting for you. <3

 

[MaraWentz]

Thanks he is just very spiteful and bitter about the whole thing I guess.

 

[luvmytooo]

The bird was a my gift for my birthday. Civilly? lol no way. He goes between needing me and offering all my stuff back, until I tell him I still want a divorce to hating me and cursing, blowng up my phone, etc. For example, he flipped out the other day because I asked him about the divorce papers and out of no where he proceeded to say everything he hated about me including how he hated Elvis (my birdy rip), and he was a s***head anyway and then sent me pics of him at his grave this morning saying he was sorry and wanted to work things out. He is an absolute nut job.

Do what you got to do to get your stuff back If you have a good friend who will store try belongings , that would be great , if not , rent a storage space.
Document everything that goes on between you two , like conversations , arguments , and the outcomes. Just do it.
If he is that crazy , maybe he needs medication . Seriously , he could have a imbalance of sorts that is making him act this way.
I'm starting to worry about your safety Mara.

 

[Safira]

Mara,

Let me know if I can help. I live close enough that I can take your bird for you until you're back on your feet again, that way he doesn't get it and you don't have to worry about rehoming it. I'd offer to take your dogs but I have 3 of my own already, if you could promise it'd be temporary I could probably take them for a little while.