Ekko hates me:( I need advice please.

[Terry57]

I am so depressed. Ekko has totally fallen in love with my husband, which was fine because he was still good with me. But now he has started biting me hard every time I get near him. It doesn't matter if I am here alone or with hubby. Now a new development this morning...He bit the crap out of me twice just when I was opening his cage to let him out. I just can't stop crying because I want him to love me too, and this is so hard when I can't even open his cage without a bite. I did let him out but now have no idea how to get him back in later with this new behaviour.
I could really use some advice on how to get us past this. He is screaming every time I even get near him this morning!

 

[MikeyTN]

JoJo did that with me when I first got him. He would lounge and bite. Does Ekko bite hard or just a nip? Get him away from his cage and go into another room. Just hold him and talk to him. Don't try to pet or any of that sort. First you need to work on stepping up with him so he would step up for you. So start practicing step up and repeat the process over and over. I would do it 25+ min each time, 4+ times per day to work with him.

 

[Terry57]

He had been just nipping at me until this morning and then it was an actual bite that made me bleed. I am trying to get up the courage to try with him now. Out of all our birds, this morning was the hardest anyone has bitten me and I must admit to being afraid now. I know I have to get over that if I am to have any chance with him. Thank you for the advice, I am going to try that and pray I keep my fingers.

 

[Anansi]

Hey, Terry57. I'm so sorry to hear about how things are going with you and Ekko. Something similar happened with my wife and our eclectus (Bixby). Every bird is different and this can be such a hard behavior to shake, but what we did was to give her more one on one training time with Bixby. Target training helps a lot in this instance, since she didn't necessarily have to get too deep into biting range to interact with him.

Also, we tried to arrange it so she was doing a lot of the "good guy" stuff, like offering treats, taking him out of the cage for fun activities (use a perch if he's being too aggressive about it), and delivering his meals.

And while she was working on rebuilding their relationship, I also tried to show her ways to move that minimize the severity of his bites in the meantime. Kind of a self-defense against parrot attacks. Lol! (Which will be so much harder to explain than to demonstrate.) For one, the act of pulling away from the bite, while instinctive and completely understandable, often makes the bite a worse one than it might otherwise have been. I've found that moving INTO the bite (I'm talking fingers or hand, here), and then turning your finger/hand while gently but firmly grasping the upper beak with the thumb and index finger of the other hand is the quickest way to free yourself from the bite.

And if he's on your hand at the time, the old wobble technique works wonders as well. In fact, I think that one was the most helpful. He came to associate hard biting with an unpleasant, though temporary, loss of balance. (Just be careful not to make him fall. That would damage the trust between you.)

I'm happy to say that, while still a work in progress, things are much better now between Bixby and my wife. I hope this all helps. Please keep us updated, and good luck!

 

[MikeyTN]

I've actually done the same thing Anansi suggested with the going towards the beak while biting and wobble technique. They do work! I also found if you have a perch with you, hold it on one side while your hand is on the other side, they would much rather prefer to step up onto your hand in a ease.

 

[Terry57]

Thank you Anansi, I appreciate the tips. I think that would help him and myself with this process. I'm glad that Bixby is getting better with your wife!
Ekko just took a couple of pine nuts from me without taking my fingers as well. Maybe he was in a really really bad mood this morning. I am feeling more hopeful now

 

[drlisaort]

I just returned from a trip to Chicago and worried about Oliver not getting out of his cage while I was gone as I'm the primary caretaker and nobody lets him out but me. My most fearful (Kris) of Oliver volunteered to be the primary custodian and did remarkably well. I'm convinced it's because we began weeks ago with Kris giving him a a few popped popcorn (his favorite) each day to start the bond and it really changed the relationship. I so agree with the other posts that you should be the fun one who gives the treats and definitely move Ekko away from his comfort cage and stand and your husband...

 

[Boysmom]

When Ruby went through her first hormonal phase she began to hate my husband. Previously she loved everyone, but she just turned and decided that he was good biting material. She would lunge and really bite him hard whenever he was within her reach. He simply took the approach to speak to her constantly and offer treats. After several months She suddenly loves him again. I do have to give my Hubby kudos, as he was very patient throughout this trying time.

I have learned that Ruby does not like anyone to wear red. Queen Ruby is the only one allowed to be red ! She will try to bite anyone who wears red within her reach, well... she tries to grab the red article of clothing vigorously.

 

[Terry57]

Thank you all for your helpful advice! Ekko is doing much better with me, and I am wondering now if I over reacted and maybe he was having a bad morning? Later on, he stepped right up on the perch I held out, and after I regained my courage, he stepped up on my hand. so fingers crossed, he was just having a bad day. But now I have some tools in my toolchest to use if or when it happens again.
He did a really funny thing yesterday...In the mornings, in addition to his regular fruits and veggies I give him (and everyone else) veggies in a separate small plastic dish. In the afternoons, I usually just give him his usual fruits and veggies in his big dish, and everyone else gets theirs in the smaller dish. Day before yesterday, I gave him some finely chopped fruits and veggies in a small dish in addition to the larger ones in his big dish. Yesterday, I skipped his small dish in favor of the big dish. Well he just sat there, looking at where he expected the small dish to be. Then he would look at the finches small dish, then look back to where his should be. He could not have made it any clearer that he was waiting for a small dish as well. So up I go and fix him a small dish with exactly what was in his big dish. Only then was he happy to eat from both dishes..lol.
Maybe I now hold the key to his heart...big and small dishes!

 

[MikeyTN]

LoL.....that didn't take you long to spoil him rotten....

 

[Terry57]

I know, he is training me well..lol. I think he and I may be confused on who is supposed to be training who.

 

[MikeyTN]

Oh our birds have us trained! We're only slaves to them and our sole purpose is to serve them....lol

 

[MomtoPercy]

I haven't read this thread before because the heading hits a bit close to the nerve for me

Like you, I also severely over-reacted after a particular incident and cried bitter tears Turns out he was just startled or in a bad mood, who knows?

Point I'm trying to make - I know how much it hurts when your love is thrown back in your face and then to add injury to insult (see what I did there? ) you get a nasty bite too! Like in your case, the people here helped me through it and things are back on even keel.

So happy for you that Ekko has come around.

 

[Terry57]

Thank you so much Michelle, I thought about you and Percy when it was happening, and it so helped with your post with the pic of you and Percy "holding hands" so to speak. I have been reading about what you have been going through, and I think that is what is so amazing about this forum...it is so great to know I am not alone. Not to mention the advice, which is invaluable
It inspires me to see the progress you are making as well.

 

[Anansi]

Glad everything is going so well, Terry57. And I love the dishes story! Lol! These little guys are so intelligent!

 

[Terry57]

They are almost scary they are so intelligent! The way he acted about the dishes was that he was questioning MY intelligence, I think

 

[Kalidasa]

Be assured he does love you very much! But in a flock, some are deferred to and some are messed with. You're just being messed with right now
Happy new year !!

 

[Terry57]

Happy New Year to you as well

 

[lpolliard]

I have found Chico can be a little aggressive if he is handled by a tentative (fearful) person. Specially if he thinks when he bites he will be put down or given back to his favorite person. My daughters handle him fearlessly and Chico's attitude becomes very submissive. I think this is an Eclectus trait. I can tell who he loves, is indifferent toward and who he dislikes in my household. His body language is very apparent.

 

[solrac13]

@
Terry57

BTW if im right your bird seems to be around 2 years old, so he has his own caracter and is all new for him, just let him the time to get to know you

Happy New Year!!