frightened of me

sadbradley

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Dec 17, 2011
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Location
Tenerife,Canary Islands
Parrots
Golfin cockatoo, 2 lovebirds.
I have had her now since xmas. She didn't used to be scared of me at all and used to snuggle and play with my hair and jewelry all the time.
But since I've been trying to take her out of her cage in the morning with a towel, she's become very scared of me :-( I didn't get her out of the cage for the last week as she didn't want to come out and is sooo frightened of the towel... She wouldn't even go near me when she was in the cage. I've had to take her out with the towel today as she needs to come out.. but she is very scared of me and still won't come near me... any advise on what to do as I miss the way we were just good friends and feel really bad that I have ruined the trust. How long should it take for me to gain it back and what should I do about the towel as she won't come out any other way...??
Help please...
Selina
 
Please do not towel her. Why does she need to come out of her cage? Right now, that's probably her safe place. Can she get out on her own if you leave the door open? Just sit by her cage and talk to her for now until she can see you are not a threat to her safety. I'm sure others will give you some good advice related to cockatoos.
 
"I've had to take her out with the towel today as she needs to come out.." WHY????

I think you should let the bird stay i the cage if she dont want to get out.

Doing like this it will take a lot of time before she trust you again.

Dont towel!!!
 
Ok thanks for the help. I don't like her to stay in her cage as I feel sorry for her as she doesn't play with any of her toys and just sits on her swing. The reason I used a towel was from reading " an owners guide to parrot behavior" " My parrot my friend" by Bonnie Munro.. This book was given to me by the person who gave me Luna. In it, it says to not let the bird come out of the cage by themselves and that "owners need to be able to towel their parrots correctly as it is an essential part of training." I am only trying to do the best I can with her. But today she's been much more calm with me and is getting back to her cuddly self :-) I will not use this method again as she clearly is scared of it...
 
It is not what you want it is what your bird wants and needs. Like others said let her come out on her own. It will take her a while to get over the towel thing. Just be patient.
 
Most birds hate being toweled. They get toweled at the vet and for grooming procedures. I don't really recommend doing it to force the bird out of the cage unless it's necessary for medication or to get it to a vet. And if you are bonded to a bird, you should be able to get it into a carrier to take it to the vet without a towel. In fact, work on that skill before you need it. Put her in there to scrub her cage down, and take her for car rides and to other places besides the vet.

You will need to begin building trust all over again. Talk to her, sing to her. Sit on the floor while you do it so you are less threatening. You could crawl under a blanket and play peak a boo with her, which most birds like, and eventually they may decide to join you under there.

For now I'd leave her cage open and let her come out on her own if she wants to. Actually I generally let my birds come out by themselves all the time. My conure is cage aggressive and steps up much nicer that way. Pete wants to burst out the second you open the door, so I just let him. And Merlin is most comfortable with standing on the bottom of the open door and then stepping up.

It is a good idea to learn how to towel your bird, but let the vet show you the best way to do it. Chasing them around a cage with a towel isn't it. And right now it would be best to forget it altogether and build trust again. Once you have her cuddling in your lap again, you could start introducing the towel slowly and make a game of hiding under it. But, I'd wait awhile and just work on bonding and trust. You haven't had her very long yet.

And once you are bonded, she may let you trim or file nails if needed without being restrained at all. And there are ways to hide medications in food they like if she ever gets sick. Nutriberries work great if you break them in half and put the meds on the inside part. Let some absorb, then put on more, etc. If the bird doesn't like Nutriberries, you could try toast as it's very absorbant and most birds like bread. In the case of Pete, I had to then put a bit of peanut butter on top to hide the meds. He loved it though and gobbled it all up, so at least he got his meds without my having to scare the snot out of him twice a day. I really, really try to do things in a way that my birds like to not hurt my bonds with them.
 
Ok thanks for the help. I don't like her to stay in her cage as I feel sorry for her as she doesn't play with any of her toys and just sits on her swing. The reason I used a towel was from reading " an owners guide to parrot behavior" " My parrot my friend" by Bonnie Munro.. This book was given to me by the person who gave me Luna. In it, it says to not let the bird come out of the cage by themselves and that "owners need to be able to towel their parrots correctly as it is an essential part of training." I am only trying to do the best I can with her. But today she's been much more calm with me and is getting back to her cuddly self :-) I will not use this method again as she clearly is scared of it...

I newer towel my Ville myself, when it has being nessesary I have asket a freind to do it and Ville hate him for it lol. I dont go to a vet that need to towel just for wing clip or nails, my vet do it without.

The most important is that a bird should feel absolutly safe in the cage and it is devistating for the trust to hunting down a bird i the cage even without a towel. So only do that when it is absolutly nessesary.
 
Ok thanks for the help. I don't like her to stay in her cage as I feel sorry for her as she doesn't play with any of her toys and just sits on her swing. The reason I used a towel was from reading " an owners guide to parrot behavior" " My parrot my friend" by Bonnie Munro.. This book was given to me by the person who gave me Luna. In it, it says to not let the bird come out of the cage by themselves and that "owners need to be able to towel their parrots correctly as it is an essential part of training." I am only trying to do the best I can with her. But today she's been much more calm with me and is getting back to her cuddly self :-) I will not use this method again as she clearly is scared of it...

Oh my, yes, throw that book out. That's terrible advice. Parrots, especially 'toos, are so smart. They deserve our respect, and that includes letting them have their space if they want it. The cage should be a bird's sanctuary, a space they can relax and feel safe in and know if they go in there, no one will bother them. No bird should be forced to come out of its cage save in an emergency and certainly not with a towel! Predators attack from the back, so when you towel her it's probably triggering a severe prey/fear response. How terrifying for the poor bird. That's why she's acting so afraid of you. You've given her an excellent reason to! You'll have to work on rebuilding her trust and you'll have to go at her pace.

Check out companionparrotonline.com and read all the articles about winning a parrot's trust and taking in rehomed birds. You will get some excellent tips. I used them myself with Kazi. He was very shy and scared when I first brought him home, but he is a bold, cuddly monster that gleefully terrorizes cats and dogs now.

You can get the cuddly, loving bird back. It'll just take some time before she can trust you again. And good on you for looking for solutions and not just assuming the bird was too hard to deal with and ignoring her or sending her to another home. I wish everyone who had trouble with a parrot would do that!
 
Toweling is part of my training but they learn from 3 week old babies & by the time they are weaned they think it's a great game to play, placing the towel over their head & playing Peek-A-Boo. You have to know how to train a bird to accept toweling. It's really not a bad thing & it really helps calm down a stressed bird. Trust me there are many times i have had to towel a stressed bird.

Feathered Family Inc. | Parrot Rescue and Adoption, Erie CO

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKDvxE5uexY]Parrot Training Tips - Towel Training - YouTube[/ame]

There are heaps of other clips on toweling your parrot & there is no reason to make it a nightmare for your parrot.
 
I will place a towel over my hand/arm when picking up mi Amigo because of his sharp nails that will leave a mark on me. Sometimes he will not be in the mood to step up to the towel so I'll present my bare hand...onward and upward he comes, never fails. Not too sure what's up with that but I can tell when he's feeling insecure about his surroundings,,sudden noise, large bird flying by window, someone new walking into room, etc., he will clamp down, with his feet, to his perch and my bare hand helps him move forward...not sure if it's just him being my weird, unique parrot or if that's normal.
 
Ok thanks for the help. I don't like her to stay in her cage as I feel sorry for her as she doesn't play with any of her toys and just sits on her swing. The reason I used a towel was from reading " an owners guide to parrot behavior" " My parrot my friend" by Bonnie Munro.. This book was given to me by the person who gave me Luna. In it, it says to not let the bird come out of the cage by themselves and that "owners need to be able to towel their parrots correctly as it is an essential part of training." I am only trying to do the best I can with her. But today she's been much more calm with me and is getting back to her cuddly self :-) I will not use this method again as she clearly is scared of it...

It's not such a bad idea as it sounds...

Max is getting used to a towel, by being towel dried after a shower... He'll sit on my shoulder while I try and dry myself, and I throw the bath towel over my head to dry my back... I sometimes use a towel to play peak-a-boo - BUT I would never force him into a towel, unless it was needed... Training Max to like a towel is what I'm doing - or what I was doing - Max doesn't mind a towel, but I haven't yet wrapped him up in one...
 
Lene, that's what I do too. I play with the towel with Kazi, peek-a-book mostly, and I've been draping papertowels over his head and laughing like a loon so he'll figure out it's a fun game. I'm slowly working up to having a towel on him and then having him wrapped in a towel.

I'm hoping when the time comes (next vet visit or nail trim) the towel won't freak him out as badly as it does some birds.
 
Thanks for all the help. I have not been taking her out of her cage and just chatting to her as usual and making sure she's with me most of the day. Playing music and singing to her. She comes over some times now for a kiss and still at bed time for a kiss. So I know we'll get there again soon.
Think I'll keep the towel away from her for quite a while now.. :-)
 
If the cage allows it I would leave the door open any time it's safe for the bird to leave the cage. I would also attach an external perch of some sort so she can exit to a degree and let you know that she wants to "explore".
 
Puck HATES towels! He even runs away from my bath towel if I'm using it to dry myself off. It's difficult to towel him, because any time anybody picks one up, he runs away. He doesn't even like to be dried with them.

On the plus side, if he's being a little meanie, I just have to pick up a towel or washcloth, and he'll behave, no actual towelling needed.
 
Thanks for all the help. I have not been taking her out of her cage and just chatting to her as usual and making sure she's with me most of the day. Playing music and singing to her. She comes over some times now for a kiss and still at bed time for a kiss. So I know we'll get there again soon.
Think I'll keep the towel away from her for quite a while now.. :-)

Yay! That's got to be a good sign. I bet she realizes you're not really a big meanie pretty fast. And I know this sounds silly, but have you tried apologizing to her? I've done it with Kazi before when I've screwed up royally and I swear it makes a difference.

I hope you'll keep us updated on your progress with her :)
 

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