help! my alex afraid of me


New member
Mar 18, 2020
Jakarta, Indonesia
Alexandrine Parakeet
Green-Cheeked Conure
Hi everyone, I am from indonesia. I have a problem with my alex, I kept it from 2 weeks of age until now it is 5 months old. lately my alex started to be afraid of me, even though in the beginning he was very used to perching on my hand. can you please help me what should i do to get my alex back not to be afraid of me? thank you


Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
Western, Michigan
DYH Amazon
Welcome to Parrot Forum!

When a Parrot that is at first comfortable with you becomes afraid of you. At some point you did some to cause it to fear you.

The wonderful part of most Parrots is that you can start-over again!

It is important to remember that Parrots have no natural reason to trust Humans. That means that we must everyday provide them reason to continue to trust us.

Important items to remember:

Only good things happen when Humans are around!

Change your vantage point!
- It is never the fault of the Parrot!
- It is always the fault of the Human!

By changing your vantage point, you will more quickly see what you are doing wrong and by correcting it, your Parrot has a reason to trust you.

Remember, it an take but a moment for them to lose trust in you. But it will takes weeks, maybe months to regain their trust.


Staff member
Super Moderator
Aug 21, 2010
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Welcome to you and your alex! Great advice above from Sailboat.

Can you think of a particular event or perhaps changes to you or your home that cause fear? Might be as simple as change of hair style, glasses, something different in his environment.

You can begin from the basics to establish trust leading to a closer bond. I am not familiar with alexandrines, but if you are certain of the age it likely too soon for puberty and inevitable challenges. This thread offers some excellent tips:

Good luck, please keep us updated and ask questions as needed!


Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
You need to slow down. If it helps, I got an adult who wouldn't step up for 2 months (other than day 1, when I took her out of her carrier and placed her on her cage). You have to stop pushing your agenda and move at her pace..Also, don't keep her locked up just because she doesn't like you at the moment. There are innovative ways to get them back in when you cannot touch (do NOT towel unless it's an emergency, as this will make her really mistrust you). Also, if she goes back in her cage on her own, no matter how long you have been waiting DO NOT immediately lock the door or you will cause her to make a connection between going in and getting locked up. Let her go in and out a few times and make sure that more than half of the time, when she goes in, she is not getting the door shut on her.

Build trust....she is going through a lot. You did something to scare her and if she bites, you definitely aren't paying attention to her cues. If she hesitates or runs away STOP.

[ame=""]Avoid Parrot Biting - Body Language and Bite Warning Signs - YouTube[/ame]

Many people only wait until they see fear or anger before backing up, but that is REINFORCING/INCREASING the odds of that reaction (as it is the only thing that gets the person to back off). Instead of focusing on "warnings" and fearful body language, do not proceed until you see inviting/open/willing body language. It works. Of course, back off is you see fear/stress or aggression, but the point is, if you wait until you see those signs before backing off, you harm trust each time and become associated with a stress response.

Another tip- your bird is not sexually mature. They are fully sexually mature around 3 years, and you can bet that you will have to really focus on a lot of these things at that time as well. Just like teen humans vs babies, your bird is still a baby. It will most certainly provide greater push-back around sexual maturity because parrots push away from their parents in the wild as well. Be prepared for this. You may feel like you have lost trust again, and that is okay. You may have to go back to basics then again.

**if you are not already --10 hours sleep nightly with a set wak-eup and bed time is ESSENTIAL for proper immune function, mood regulation and hormonal regulation. Disregarding this need is absolutely TERRIBLE for you and your bird. This is true now, but you will see even greater impacts on mood the longer you fail to provide adequate, solid 10 hours on a nightly schedule** If you are moving around outside of the cage, your bird may be quiet, but not actually sleeping, so a sleep cage or sleep room is advised.
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New member
Mar 18, 2020
Jakarta, Indonesia
Alexandrine Parakeet
Green-Cheeked Conure
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Thank you everyone for giving me advice, I hope all of you are healthy and happy always,

By the way Alex is my second parrot, the first one is a jardine, I have raised him since he was a baby now he is 2 and a half years old. and i never found any problem with my jardine.

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