HELP! My Quaker Hates when I do My Makeup!

[missivy]

Hello. So here is the situation. We have had our blue quaker parrot Indy for almost 2 years now. He was about 6 months old when we bought him from a local pet store. (knowing what we know now about bird sactuaries and the rehoming rate of parrots, we will adopt any future birds, but thats a whole different story.) He is the first bird we have ever owned and we love him and spoil him as we would our own human child. His cage is always left open, except at night when he has gone to bed. He is engaged with either my partner or myself practically at all times. Whether he is perched on our shoulder or near by one of us on a perch or cage, he is a active member of our family. He loves us both, but currently my husband is his favorite. Mind you 6 months ago, I was the one he pined after. The issue I have always had with him is anytime I do my makeup. The minute he either sees me applying it, or if I walk into the room with it on he becomes enraged and either lunges at me any time I get close to him or flies at me in a rage and bites me. And he remains angry at me usually until the following morning. Sometimes, if I am lucky and with a lot of flirting and treats I can calm him down, but mostly he remains enraged and will have nothing to do with me for the remainder of the day. I used to think it was because he thought I was leaving him, but I have been off work due to illness for over a year now. I can do my makeup in the morning and remain in the house all day and it doesnt make a lick of difference. He will attack me and yell and grump at me the whole time. And if I rum out the house with no makeup and come home he is never angry with me. It's only when I do my makeup he has a issue. If he even sees me heading in the direction of my vanity I am in trouble. I don't know what to do about it. It's really starting to effect my relationship with him. Before when I was the favorite it wasn't so bad, as he would come around after a few hours. But it seems his hatred for makeup has just gotten worse. And before anyone suggest it, no, I am not giving up my makeup. I love makeup. It is a huge passion of mine and I have a massive collection. Does anyone else have this issue with their parrots? Is this normal parrot behavior? I am at a loss. Any help or suggestions and I would be eternally grateful!
Also, sorry for such a long post!

 

[ChristaNL]

I am not a make-up person (different culture I guess, It is still more normal to go about without any or with minmal, just lipstick or mascara).
but... nailpolish and my parrots....not a good thing!


Just like bandaids, mud, scabs etc. they will try and take it of: they recognize it as something unnatural/ not belonging there.
So -once again, not my thing, so no problem- I go without.
A lot more fun keeping my fingers than have a macaw trying to get my nails polishfree!
She is not hating it, just preeing (not always very subtle) and removing the 'dirt'.


Or maybe he is resenting that he will not get any attention for some considerable time because you will be focused on 'playing' with your make-up instead of playing with him?


Some birds really react to a certain colour.. did you notice that?

.

 

[itzjbean]

I am very passionate about makeup! Maybe I could try to help...

When you apply your makeup, do you wear false lashes? Thick eyelner? Filled in eyebrows? Is your eye makeup particularly bright or smoky/dark or do you try different looks every day?

I'm having a feeling it could be because your makeup may make you look so different to him normally that you look like a stranger. Especially if you are changing your eye looks. When I do full-face makeup, I look like a practically different person. Some birds also act like this when their owners get haircuts, change their nailpolish or wear their hair up. Possibly the change is so intense that they reject it, and therefore reject you for some time.

How does he do around strangers, or when people come over to your house? Does he get aggressive?

I only ask that because if he is wary of strangers, maybe he thinks you're one when you come into the room.

Do you wear perfume? (I do, can't go without it) and maybe if you smell different it could trigger that aggression also.

Some bids just don't like when their owners look different! It is very strange. I wonder if desensitization would help him, as in letting him watch you apply it, and waiting for him to stop being in attack mode.

 

[missivy]

I am very passionate about makeup! Maybe I could try to help...

When you apply your makeup, do you wear false lashes? Thick eyelner? Filled in eyebrows? Is your eye makeup particularly bright or smoky/dark or do you try different looks every day?

I'm having a feeling it could be because your makeup may make you look so different to him normally that you look like a stranger. Especially if you are changing your eye looks. When I do full-face makeup, I look like a practically different person. Some birds also act like this when their owners get haircuts, change their nailpolish or wear their hair up. Possibly the change is so intense that they reject it, and therefore reject you for some time.

How does he do around strangers, or when people come over to your house? Does he get aggressive?

I only ask that because if he is wary of strangers, maybe he thinks you're one when you come into the room.

Do you wear perfume? (I do, can't go without it) and maybe if you smell different it could trigger that aggression also.

Some bids just don't like when their owners look different! It is very strange. I wonder if desensitization would help him, as in letting him watch you apply it, and waiting for him to stop being in attack mode.

Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if I am in full glam or fill in my brows, a little bronzer and mascara and gloss, when he see me pick anything up off my vanity or apply it, he turns full on full savage mode

He doesn't seem to mind my perfume, not that I have noticed anyway.
Before he could fly I would let him sit on a perch beside me and play while I applied my makeup and try and engaged him during the process. Now that he flies though, he will try to attack me the minute my guard is down. Nothing like a attack from a pissed off parrot while trying to apply mascara

 

[missivy]

I am not a make-up person (different culture I guess, It is still more normal to go about without any or with minmal, just lipstick or mascara).
but... nailpolish and my parrots....not a good thing!


Just like bandaids, mud, scabs etc. they will try and take it of: they recognize it as something unnatural/ not belonging there.
So -once again, not my thing, so no problem- I go without.
A lot more fun keeping my fingers than have a macaw trying to get my nails polishfree!
She is not hating it, just preeing (not always very subtle) and removing the 'dirt'.


Or maybe he is resenting that he will not get any attention for some considerable time because you will be focused on 'playing' with your make-up instead of playing with him?


Some birds really react to a certain colour.. did you notice that?

.

Oh he hates it all right. This is more than just preening, he is livid for hours after I put it on, if not the remainder of the day. I haven't noticed a reaction to any particular colour, but then I didn't know that about parrots! They are such fascinating creatures. So interesting and intelligent!! Honestly, I have been avoiding applying any makeup, unless I absolutely have to because I just cant stand fighting with him. Or rather have him bullying and picking on me. He's so sweet and loving as long as I dont go near my vanity.

 

[itzjbean]

He may need a wing clip so you don't get attacked and in doing so he'll get an attitude adjustment.

After a clip, the desensitization process begins....

Wearing no makeup, sit at your desk and begin picking things up one at a time very slowly and pretend to apply....make sure he sees... and just move slow and wait until he calms down. I would try to figure out EXACTLY when he begins showing signs of distress.

Is it when you sit down at your desk? Pick something up? Apply it? Or maybe it's the desk/vanity he doesn't like. Has he had time to explore it and explore all your items?

It's important he can't attack you during this time so a clip would be good for him.

 

[MonicaMc]

It's not really good to wear any perfume or cologne near birds.


As far as make-up... if he has a fit if you go near the vanity, what about either moving his cage or moving where you put on your make-up?

 

[buurd]

I had something happen early on, after I adopted the Bourke's.
I had wrapped my hair, which needed to be washed, in a rainbow colored cotton scarf.
Immediately, their demeanor changed. They'd been acting skittish with me, as a stranger new in their lives. When they got a load of me in the scarf, they were calmer and looked at me for a bit, and showed signs of comfort. I wonder if they werent more comfortable with my hair and ears hidden, and the wearing of colors on my head, because it made me look a little bit like a bird.

I dont know bird psychology, so i cant comment with any certainty on the topic.But whats the difference in perception from the birds perspective, from wearing eye makeup, to say, wearing glasses. Prescription glasses tend to make your eyes look bigger or smaller. That would seem like a more alarming change to a bird than just a substance like mud or dirt or whatever, on the eye lids.

Birds are terrifically complicated, it seems, and while I find it fascinating, I dont know how healthy it is to give up every thing in your life that makes you happy, for them. There's got to be a behavioral way to address and defuse this, or a compromise that could be worked out between the owner and the bird.

 

[missivy]

Thank you
Yes I agree. To give it up because he doesn't like me doing it will only mask the issue and we wont ever solve the problem at hand.

 

[missivy]

I have tried that unfortunately. I can also do my makeup in the bathroom, but the second he sees that it is on my face, he is ready to attack

 

[missivy]

He may need a wing clip so you don't get attacked and in doing so he'll get an attitude adjustment.

After a clip, the desensitization process begins....

Wearing no makeup, sit at your desk and begin picking things up one at a time very slowly and pretend to apply....make sure he sees... and just move slow and wait until he calms down. I would try to figure out EXACTLY when he begins showing signs of distress.

Is it when you sit down at your desk? Pick something up? Apply it? Or maybe it's the desk/vanity he doesn't like. Has he had time to explore it and explore all your items?

It's important he can't attack you during this time so a clip would be good for him.

Hmmm, I think you might be on to something! As much as it pains me to give him a clip, it might be our best option while we get to the bottom of this. In fact, we clipped his wings last time because he was becoming such a terror towards me. Unfortunately, it took darn near a year for his flight to come back and my partner doesn't like the idea of doing it again, but I am sure we could get not such a short clip this time around. (Thats a thing right?)
It definitely brought him down about a dozen or so notches lol. And YES!!! While he doesn't have the ability to attack, I could try and train him to be more relaxed while I get ready and HOPEFULLY, figure out where the agression stems from. Thank you very much this is really helpful!